AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for the feedback. I'm trying to crank this out while it's fresh in my mind.

You Were Mine

Chapter Seven.

DREAMS

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough.

You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."

- J.M. Barrie

Blair stared at herself in the mirror and sighed in dismay. She'd tried on several different outfits that morning, but none of them felt fit for the zoo. Carter was lounging behind her on the bed, occasionally looking up from his book to inspect her. He was always scowling when he did. He didn't like the idea of her being around Chuck Bass alone, he said. Blair had scoffed and given it no further thought. Carter didn't own her. No one did.

"Would you stop?" He finally growled and threw his book down. Blair watched it slide against the mattress until it finally thumped onto the floor. It sounded unnatural, and her nerves became even more frayed. Chuck was enough to deal with today. She didn't need Carter going crazy on her, as well.

"It's been a long time since I visited a zoo. I don't know what is appropriate. I don't want to look silly or out of place." She murmured under her breath as she headed back into the closet. She decided a light fall dress would be best, along with a pair of her favorite sandals. That said fun, carefree, mommy material.

Carter walked into the dressing area as she slid the dress over her head. She straightened out the material and smoothed her hands along the edges before finally turning to face her boyfriend. He was glaring. His displeasure at her current situation didn't really bother Blair; it was what lurked behind the annoyance that did. He was scared. She could see it in his eyes, and that automatically made her nervous as well.

"I came here to get my son. You knew that." Her voice was resolute. No one was going to back her down from this goal. Years ago, she'd left this city with nothing, not even her sanity. She'd never run again. This was her home whether or not Carter and Chuck liked it. She wasn't leaving again.

"And your ex husband?" There was bite in his tone, unmistakable, terrifying.

"He's Parker's father. He comes with the package. You knew that." She repeated, hoping to get through to him. She needed him to let this go today. She needed him to be supportive and blind and stop seeing everything he was clearly reading on her face, in her eyes. Carter knew her too well.

"I thought I knew that you hated him. I thought we came back here to destroy him, but I'm not sure anymore. You come home last night, looking like a haunted person. Then this morning you tell me we're breaking ties with Jack, calling it all off… For what, Blair? You have a new way to take down Chuck?" Carter advanced on her, but Blair held her ground.

"Parker is my number one priority. I've decided on a new tack to get him. Simple as that." Her tone was airy as she pushed past him into the bedroom. She found her sandals discarded on the floor and reached for them.

Carter followed her, nowhere near done with their conversation. "You don't want to destroy, Chuck, do you?" It was a question, but it didn't sound like one. It sounded like Carter knew. Blair's stomach roiled uneasily. "Jesus, you really are that pathetic," he snapped and reached for the liquor decanter.

Blair shook her head and finished strapping up her sandals. "You don't understand. I'm a mother. I have to put Parker first." Carter laughed bitterly in return, but Blair was not deterred. "I'll never forget what Chuck did-"

Carter whirled around on her, spearing her with his eyes. There was a darkness there that she'd never seen before. "Liar," he whispered, gaze never wavering. "For once in your life, tell the truth, Blair."

"I don't have time for this." She stood up from the bed and reached for her purse. Chuck was picking her up downstairs, and she decided she'd rather wait in the lobby than continue this argument with Carter. She tried to breeze past him, but he grabbed her arm before she could and held her in place. "Let me go," she gritted out through her teeth.

"Don't let him suck you back in. He drove you crazy, Blair. Remember that." It was the closest to begging Carter had ever gotten. He released her arm and turned back to his drink. Blair stood there a moment, watching him, doing her best to calm down before she left to head downstairs. Carter was wrong. Chuck posed no danger to her now.

Blair wasn't waiting in the lobby long when Chuck pulled up in his limo. The window was rolled down when she walked out and Parker was hanging out of it, waving and smiling at her. Blair waved back, even though she was only a few feet away. Parker disappeared when she reached the door and the driver opened it for her.

Chuck greeted her once she was seated. "Good choice." He nodded at her attire. "It gets hot during the day. Last time we went, I thought Ms. Bainbridge was going to have a heat stroke."

Parker giggled from his place on Chuck's lap and continued to stare at Blair. Blair wanted to reach out to him, hug him, kiss him, tell him she was so sorry for everything and that she loved him more than life. She couldn't move though. She didn't want to push too fast for fear that Parker or Chuck or both would pull away from her.

"Who's Ms. Bainbridge?" Blair tried a safe subject. Her eyes never left Parker's, though.

"She's Parker's nanny," Chuck informed her coolly and turned to peer back out the window.

Parker shifted on his father's lap and slid down into the space between Blair and Chuck. He kept a cautious hand on Chuck's knee as he watched Blair. Blair smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"You're very pretty." Parker's voice was so soft and small. It sunk inside of her until she could barely breathe. A grin slid across his lips and a light blush tinted his cheeks.

"Thank you." Blair choked on the words and tears stung her eyes. She didn't want to scare him so she quickly blinked them away. "I think you're a very handsome boy yourself." She moved a little closer to him on the seat. They were feeling each other out. Chuck remained turned away from them, a silent, imposing figure.

"Do I look like you?" Parker's voice became bolder as he inched closer to her. Blair saw Chuck's jaw clench, but he didn't comment. "Aunt S says I do. She says I have your eyes. I like your eyes." Parker reached a tiny hand up and touched Blair's face. "And your face," he decided with an impish smile. "I want to look like you."

"I think you look like me and your daddy," Blair told him magnanimously. The truth was he was more Blair, and Chuck had to see that. She didn't want to rub it in, though.

Chuck turned back to them then. He glanced between Parker and Blair and Blair waited for a scathing comment. He was tense and uncomfortable, more so than he had been when she first got into the limo. Parker's eagerness where Blair was concerned bothered him.

"He's all you," Chuck whispered. The moment landed between the three of them and descended into silence. Blair wanted to smile, wanted to say thank you, wanted to say she knew, but she held herself back.

"I'm going to be just like daddy when I grow up. Did you know that?" Parker broke through once more, and Blair looked away from Chuck to focus on him. "He owns the whole world. That's what I wanna do, too." Parker nodded for emphasis.

Blair laughed, she couldn't help herself. "I'll bet you do."

Chuck sighed, but there was amused affection in his eyes. "I told you, I don't own the world. Just BE." It was clear they'd had this conversation before.

"I'm a Bass. Do you know what that means?" Parker ignored his father's interruption and continued his conversation with Blair.

Blair smiled and feigned ignorance. "What does that mean?"

"I'm rich and handsome and Grandpa Bart said being a Bass meant I could have anything I ever wanted, but I don't think he was telling me the truth. I want a monkey, but daddy won't get one…" Parker glanced back at his father and climbed the final inches until he was sitting on Blair's lap. He leaned up, a conspiratorial gleam in his eyes and pushed her hair back so he could whisper in her ear. "Do you like monkeys?"

Blair nearly laughed out loud. "Um, well…" She glanced towards Chuck for help. She didn't want to let Parker down but there was no way in Hell she was purchasing a monkey. "I don't think…"

Chuck mercifully jumped in and saved her. "No monkeys. Keep pushing it and I'm sending the pony back." Chuck gave Parker a stern look and Parker pouted in return. When the pout didn't have its desired effect, a slow tear began to trace down his cheek. "Faker." Chuck grinned at him.

Parker's tears kept coming, though, and Blair was nearly ready to pull out her phone and order a monkey. Before she could make a fool of herself and cave, Parker frowned, wiped his tears and moved on. Clearly, they played these games often. Blair felt so out of her depth, and that made her angry. She should know these things. She should know her son. Anger had no place in her life today, though, so she pushed it down and refocused on Parker. He was twirling pieces of her hair between his fingers like it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.

"Don't you think Mommy has pretty hair, Daddy?" Parker posed this question to Chuck, but he never took his eyes off of Blair. When Chuck didn't respond, Parker finally turned to look at him. "Don't you, Daddy?" He persisted.

Chuck hid his discomfort well and nodded. "Sure." He turned back towards the window.

They arrived at the zoo fifteen minutes later, and Parker was scrambling out of the limo as fast as he could. He reached back for Chuck's hand at the last minute and then the three of them were off and running. Blair was grateful she'd worn sandals instead of heels. It was clear the zoo was going to be a marathon with Parker as her tour guide. They made their way through most of the exhibits without much issue. Parker asked her what she thought of each animal and informed her which ones were his favorites. He was disappointed that she didn't appreciate the bird atrium more and that had garnered a genuine laugh from Chuck. That was the sum of their interactions, though. Chuck acted as body guard to Parker but rarely interacted with Blair and didn't impede Parker from bonding with her. It was more than Blair could have hoped for, yet still she wanted more. She wanted Chuck to smile, to relax, to feel less unhappy in her presence.

The last stop on their trip was the reptile cavern, and Blair wasn't thrilled to go inside. She'd almost suggested they skip it, but Chuck shook his head before she could get the words out. She quickly realized the reptiles were Parker's very favorite exhibit. He liked snakes. Go figure.

"Do you think they'll take one out for us to pet again, Daddy?" Parker looked up from the giant snake tank he was in front of.

"Touch?" Blair nearly squeaked. She was not touching a snake.

Chuck smirked at her before answering Parker. "I'm sure I could arrange that. Why don't you ask Blair if she'd like to touch one, as well?" It was the first time he'd done anything less than kind, and Blair had to bite her tongue to stop from snapping something back at him.

"Do you, Mommy?" Parker peered at her with innocent, trusting eyes. "They're really cool," he enthused, obviously trying to seal the deal.

Blair hesitated. "Okay," she nodded. She even managed a small smile. There wasn't much Parker couldn't talk her into, she decided. Chuck would pay for this, though. She wasn't sure how, but she'd get him back.

Blair got through the snake petting adventure without incident, and then Parker insisted they head to the gift shop. That seemed like a safe choice, and Blair eagerly followed him in. Chuck trailed behind them, but he wasn't as vigilant in there. It soothed Blair's nerves a little bit that he wasn't treating her like a threat to their child any longer. For the first hour, it had been clear that Chuck was keeping an eye on all exits to make sure Blair didn't grab Parker and make a run for it. No one could say he wasn't a protective parent.

Parker raced around the store, going from toy to toy, stopping at games and finally settling on a stuffed animal he wanted. Blair was surprised when Chuck allowed her to buy it for Parker without comment. Finally, the three of them headed back towards the limo. Blair felt buoyed y the visit's success. She and Chuck hadn't argued once, Parker was becoming comfortable with her, and she felt like she was making inroads towards her final goal. By the time they climbed back into the limo, she was smiling.

Once they were all seated Chuck instructed the driver to take them to a restaurant in midtown that Blair remembered from her childhood. She and Serena used to go there every Friday afternoon with their nannies. They had the best pastries. She was surprised that Chuck was including her in this. He easily could have dropped her off and taken Parker by himself. She took it as a good sign that he wasn't. Her presence wasn't intolerable to him.

"Daddy got you a present." Parker was nearly bursting when he announced it. Blair was shocked out of her thought and turned quickly to look between Parker and Chuck. Sure enough, Chuck had another bag in his lap.

"Did you pick it out?" Blair guessed. There was no way Chuck willingly bought her a gift of any kind. She knew the only thing he wanted to give her was a ticket out of town.

Parker shook his head. "Nu-uh. Daddy picked it out all by himself. Can we give it to her now? Please? Please, Daddy?" Parker was already grabbing for the bag before Chuck could respond. "Here." Parker shoved the bag into her arms and waited expectantly. Blair knew she'd act like it was the Tiffany diamond just to please Parker.

She opened the bag quickly, realizing Parker wouldn't accept anything less. Inside was a fuzzy stuffed snake, striped in rainbow colors with purple eyes. Blair laughed out loud. It was either the cutest gift she'd ever received or the ugliest. She couldn't decide. She just knew she loved it, and she loved it even more that Chuck had picked it out. For one moment, he hadn't hated her.

"I love it." She pulled it out and rubbed the soft fur against her cheek. She couldn't look at Chuck – that was too dangerous – so she grinned down at Parker. "Thank you, very much," she murmured.

"Let me see." Parker reached for it and she handed it over. He started inspecting it, rubbing it against his cheek like she had, poking at it, rubbing the eyes and giggling. It was better than any silly diamond in Parker's eyes.

Blair finally got up the courage to look at Chuck again and found him watching them. She let her eyes rest on his for a moment. "Thank you, Chuck. I really do love it." She hoped he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

Chuck nodded but said nothing else for the rest of the ride.

Chuck wasn't surprised to find Georgina waiting for him when he arrived home with Parker. No doubt she'd found out about his day at the zoo with Blair from one of her spies. Her antics were starting to grate on his nerves. She knew he didn't like sneak attacks, especially not when Parker was around. Parker wasn't very fond of Georgina. She was always pleasant to him, and he'd put up with her if he absolutely had to, but it often became a contest of who could occupy Chuck's attention the longest. Georgina always lost, but that didn't stop her from trying anew the next time.

"Parker!" Her voice was shrill, and Parker frowned at her. "Oh, my, where did you get that lovely little creature." Georgina reached for Parker's stuffed monkey, but he hid it behind his back before she could touch it. "The zoo?" She asked innocently.

Chuck rolled his eyes. "Go upstairs and change into your PJ's. I'll be there in a minute." Chuck leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Parker's head. Once Parker was safely out of hearing range, Chuck turned towards Georgina. "I didn't expect you." His voice was cool. He walked around her and poured himself a glass of Scotch. He figured he'd need it for this confrontation.

"I'm sure you didn't." Her sweet voice was gone completely. "I, myself, was not sure what to expect when I got here. Maybe Blair back in your bed playing mommy to the child she abandoned?" Georgina poured her own glass of Scotch and threw it back quickly before pouring another.

"Calm down," Chuck sneered in return. He hated her dramatics.

"How can I calm down when you're tossing everything we have away?" Georgina bit back. Hysteria was oncoming, and Chuck wasn't in the mood. "I mean, she's back not even a week and you're spending quality time with the bitch."

Chuck did his best to ignore her, hoping she'd wear herself out and shut up.

"She's still crazy, Chuck. I don't care what she tells you. She's insane. No amount of therapy and drugs can cure what's wrong with her up there." When Chuck didn't respond, she got even more worked up. "Don't tell me you believe she's better? You really think she's home for good, ready to play mommy to your kid and devoted wife to you? She left you. She deserted you and that kid. You can't be stupid enough to believe her lies again. Haven't you been here before? Look what happened last time you believed her!" Georgina was screeching.

Chuck felt anger coil tightly inside of him. "Enough," he growled. He was gripping his glass so tightly he was afraid it might break, but he couldn't put it down. If he did, he might replace it with Georgina and throttle her.

She came towards him slowly, a contrite look on her face. She knew she'd crossed the imaginary line. "I'm just worried about you—" she tried.

Chuck couldn't handle it, though. "Don't insult me, Georgina. The only person you're worried about is yourself. If I want my crazy fucking wife back, I'll have her!" He slammed his drink down and the remaining alcohol sloshed over the sides. "Don't you ever come into my house again and question me like that. This once – THIS ONCE," he emphasized, "I'll let it go. But no more chances. What I do with my son and his mother doesn't concern you. If you don't like it, then take the ring I gave you, pawn it and head back to Europe. I don't give a fuck."

Scripted tears began sliding down her cheeks and her lip wobbled. He'd been through this before and felt no sympathy. "You don't mean that." She came up to him, sliding her body against his and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sex was the next tactic she'd employ. "What you and I have is good. You know that," she murmured as she leaned in for a kiss.

He turned away at the last second. He couldn't stomach the idea of being with her right then. "Don't." His voice was firm as he set her away from him and headed towards the stairs. "See yourself out." He didn't leave her with a promise of a call tomorrow because he wasn't sure he would want to speak to her. He just knew he couldn't stand the sight of her right then.

"Chuck!" She called after him, but he ignored her as he ascended the stairs and thankfully she didn't follow him.

Parker was lying on his bed staring down at the baby book Lily and Serena had put together for Chuck a few years ago. It was the typical sentimental bullshit that Chuck always scoffed at, but he'd kept it for Parker. Tonight his son was stuck on his first year page and Chuck knew exactly which picture he was looking at – Blair. Chuck could remember every detail of the photo even without looking down. It was from the day he and Blair had brought Parker home from the hospital. He'd been a tiny ball of blue and Blair had been in one of her happier stages. They were sitting on the same couch that was still downstairs, Parker in Blair's arms, Chuck standing behind Blair with a hand on her shoulder, a hint of a smile on his face. It had been a peaceful day. Chuck did his best to forget the happy times because it made the bad times harder to bear.

"What're you looking at?" Chuck sat down on the bed beside his son.

Parker looked up and Chuck expected his son's usual grin, but instead he found sadness. Chuck felt his heart clench in his chest for a moment before he regained control. Parker was rarely ever sad. Chuck made sure he had no reason to be. In fact, the only time Chuck could remember him crying real tears were when Bart died. That had been hard for Parker to understand, but thankfully Serena had talked to him about angels and Heaven and that had eased his mind.

"How come Mommy left us?" Parker's voice was so small, so soft that Chuck had to strain to hear him. The words packed a punch, though, and Chuck felt himself reeling. Parker had never once asked him that before. He barely talked about Blair at all, at least not with Chuck. It was like the two of them had agreed that subject was taboo and never broached it. Chuck knew Serena brought her up, but those mentions never made its way into their home.

It took Chuck a moment to compose himself enough to respond. He felt at a loss and that made him uncomfortable. He'd done everything he could to make sure Parker wanted for nothing. He encouraged his son's relationships with Serena and Lily, in large part because Chuck knew Parker needed maternal figures. He thought they'd been good substitutes. Looking down at his son then, unshed tears in his warm brown eyes, Chuck knew he'd failed. Parker wanted Blair. There was no way around that.

"She left me, not you." Chuck knew this was the right thing to say. Perhaps, it wasn't entirely truthful, but the truth was painful and more complicated then Parker could understand. One day, he would know everything and maybe he'd hate both Blair and Chuck for the choices they'd made. All Chuck had was that he'd done the best he could. He'd tried to protect his child's heart like he hadn't protected his own.

Parker wasn't satisfied, and the first tear fell. "Libby's mommy and daddy divorced because her mommy didn't love her daddy anymore. Did Mommy not love you anymore?" Parker scrubbed at his tear stained cheeks and, mercifully, they stopped falling for a moment. Chuck wasn't sure he could bear many more.

"I don't know." Chuck wanted to give Parker a better answer. He opted for the truth instead. Chuck settled back against the bed and pulled Parker into his arms, cradling him tightly. "I know she loved you. That never stopped, and it never could." Chuck promised his child. "I don't think anyone else could get Blair Waldorf to touch a snake, little man." Chuck tried to smile, but it fell flat. There was no levity in this conversation.

"Then why doesn't she live with us? Libby's mommy still lives with her."

Chuck felt so out of his depth. He knew he could brush this off, find some way to distract Parker and pray this never came up again. He'd been doing that for nearly five years though and it clearly hadn't worked. Parker wanted answers and Chuck owed them. He just didn't know what they were anymore. Before Blair came back, before he was faced with her obvious love for their son, he'd been able to brush her aside. He couldn't anymore.

Chuck took a deep breath and prayed he was doing the right thing. "Mommy was sick, Parker."

Parker interrupted before Chuck could continue. "Like puking sick or sniffles sick?"

"A different kind of sick," Chuck tried to explain. "She needed help, though, and that's why she had to leave. It had nothing to do with not loving you."

"Is she better now?" Parker peered up at Chuck, pure trust in his eyes.

Chuck wanted to say yes, but he wasn't sure. Blair seemed better, but Chuck wasn't the best judge. Last time when she'd been at her very worst, he'd believed her when she'd said she was fine. He'd ignored all the warning signs, all of their family and friends, and blindly trusted her when she told him everything was fine. He would never forgive himself or her for that. It had nearly cost them everything.

"I think so." It was the best Chuck could do.

Parker smiled then, the first bit of happiness seeping back into his eyes. "I think she's all better now. She's very pretty and doesn't look sick. I like her hair." Parker grinned. "Do you like her hair?"

Chuck laughed. "Your mother is very beautiful," Chuck allowed.

Parker nodded and then glanced back down at the picture again before asking his next question. "Since Mommy is better can she come home and live with us again?" Parker slowly lifted his eyes to Chuck's as he said this.

Chuck was blindsided. He should have seen it coming. Their entire conversation had been leading up to that question. Chuck had been blissfully ignorant to the possibility that Parker could want that, though, that he could even think that was possible. His immediate instinct was to flat out refuse the possibility. The hope in Parker's eyes stopped him cold.

"Parker…" Chuck hesitated, grappling for the right answer.

Parker jumped right in, eager to seal the deal. "You said you thought she was better, and that she was very pretty. And she loves me, and I'm sure she could love you, too, Daddy. You should just be nice to her like you are to me and smile – and she liked your gift a lot. A really lot." Parker added, and finally had to take a breath. "Please, Daddy." Chuck started to respond when Parker jumped in again. "We can send back the pony if you want. I just want Mommy."

Everything inside of Chuck went still at that. He suddenly realized that his child, his precious son, was begging him for his mother. How could that happen? How had Chuck let that happen? This had never been the plan. When Blair had told him she was pregnant, Chuck had rebuilt his entire world around the prospect of fatherhood. He'd married Blair. He'd bought the penthouse. He'd baby proofed the damn penthouse. He'd fallen in love. He'd promised Blair that he'd be a good father, better than his and hers combined, and she'd believed him. He'd never questioned what kind of mother she would be. He'd just known she would be amazing. Their future had been so bright.

The first time Chuck had held Parker he'd looked down at him and known Parker was his world. He was so tiny and defenseless, and Chuck wanted nothing more than to protect him. He wanted Parker to live in a world of safety and happiness. His son would never beg for love. Never. Chuck realized that's exactly what Parker was doing now. He was begging for Blair's love, and Chuck was withholding it. He'd been withholding it for a while, telling himself it was the right thing, the safe thing. And it probably was. Blair could go off the rails at any time; she could fall apart; she could leave; she could break Parker's heart. Chuck could no longer convince himself this was inevitable, though. What if Blair was better? What if she was ready to be the mother their child so clearly needed? Chuck felt wrecked but he knew what he had to do.

"Listen to me, Parker." He pulled his son around so they were eye to eye. He was giving his word and that meant everything in their relationship. Chuck never made promises he couldn't keep. "I don't know what's going to happen with your mom. I hadn't really thought about it before. Things are changing, though, and I guess I was just slow to catch up." Parker smiled at him and patted his cheek in comfort. "I'll do everything I can to make this work out with your mom. I can't promise she'll move in with us, but I can promise you can see her anytime you want."

Parker clapped his hands excitedly, but then his face fell into uncertainty. "Do you think she'll wanna see me?"

Chuck's answer was unequivocal. "Yes."

Parker smiled again. "Can we call her now? I want to talk to her about the zoo and see if she's sleeping with the rainbow snake. I was thinking he needs a name – What do you think we should name it? We should help, Mommy, don't you think? She probably hasn't had a snake before. She made funny faces when she had to touch them." Parker giggled at the memory. "Can we call her now?"

Chuck nodded. "Sure. Just don't let her name it Chuck."

Blair stared out the hotel window and smiled. Her child was just a few minutes away, probably tucked into bed, dreaming of monkeys and snakes. The thought made her laugh. Carter appeared behind her and frowned at her reflection in the glass.

"He's getting to you."

Blair didn't know what to say. Carter's insecurities where Chuck and Parker were concerned were not easily allayed. Parker was her son. He came first. He had to. Chuck was more complicated, and if Blair was truthful with herself, she would admit he was the only man she'd ever really given herself to completely. She'd cared for others, but they had never been able to eclipse what Chuck was to her. He was her husband, the father of her child, and so much more. But if she said any of that to Carter, she'd hurt him and she truly didn't want that. He loved her, and she desperate wanted to love him back. It just felt like that part of her had broken a long time ago, and nothing she ever did could repair it.

"I can't fight with you tonight," she whispered tiredly. "I had a wonderful day with my son. He told me he wanted to look like me and held my hand. We touched snakes together, and he fed me a cupcake. It was every dream I've ever had, Carter. I can't apologize for even a second of it."

"Parker isn't the issue." His voice was hard and unyielding. He'd been drinking all day just to get the courage up to say this.

"Isn't he?" Blair wasn't ready for this honesty, but she was sick of hiding as well. "He's my son. He came before you, and he'll come after you, after everyone. I love him more than I ever thought possible – I look at that child and I wonder how I created that. How did someone as screwed up as me make him. He's perfect. He's beautiful and sweet and God, he's smart. He's so smart. He's my world, Carter." Blair felt the emotion clogging her throat.

"And his father?"

Fresh tears sprung behind Blair's eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. She didn't want to do this, but she knew it was time. "Chuck was my husband. I loved him."

Carter nodded. "Past tense."

Blair turned to him, and her heart twisted at the pain in Carter's eyes. It had cost him to ask her that. Every second of her silence cost him a little bit more. "Truth?" She owed it to him, but she wasn't sure either one of them wanted to deal with it.

"Yes." It was barely a whisper.

"I don't know. Hating Chuck has always been easy. He made it easy. But now…" Blair had to look away. "It's not so easy. I look at him with our child…" She couldn't stop the tears from falling then. "He's a good father. He took care of Parker when I couldn't. He loves him the way I always wanted my child to be loved – how I always wanted to be loved."

"That's not a straight answer, Blair." There was no anger in his voice, no nothing really. He just sounded defeated, and Blair hated that.

She turned to him quickly and grasped his face between her hands. She held him there, forcing him to look into her eyes, praying he found something worthwhile there. "I'm with you."

Carter shook his head, a soft smile sliding across his lips. "You're already miles away." He covered her hands with his for a moment before he pulled them away and stepping back. He headed towards the door as her cell phone began to ring. "I need some air."

Blair stared after him, part of her wanting to follow, part of her grateful for the peace. Her phone continued to ring until she couldn't ignore it any longer. She snatched it up and was surprised to see Chuck's name flash across the screen. She answered immediately.

"Chuck?" She was hesitant.

"Nope," Parker's sing song voice chimed through. "Daddy said I could call you. We need to name your snake. We forgot in the limo, 'member?"

Blair grinned and eased herself back onto the bed. She pulled the little snake out of her purse and laid it across her chest. "What did you have in mind?"

"Hmm, well, Daddy says you can't name him Chuck." Blair grinned, and she heard Chuck laugh in the background. The sound wormed its way inside of her and warmed her up. It had been so long since she'd heard it.

"What about Rainbow?" Blair suggested as she looked down at the object in question.

Parker's answer was quick. "Boring."

Blair stifled a laugh. He was such a mini Chuck in some ways. Never be ordinary when you could be extraordinary. "Alright, what do you think, then?"

"I think you should name him Spike, because he's tough and a boy. Boys are tough." Parker told her seriously. Blair found herself nodding along.

"Okay, we'll name him Spike. He's going to sleep right beside me tonight." Blair just hoped Carter didn't comment.

"Mommy…" Parker was more hesitant then, and Blair held her breath. "Are you better now?" Blair was stunned by the question and couldn't react quickly enough. "Daddy and I think you are. Are you better? Mommy?" He pressed.

Blair swallowed the lump in her throat. "I am, Parker. I'm all better now. I promise." She'd broken every promise she'd ever made to him in the past, but she wouldn't break this one. "Parker…" Blair was the nervous one now.

"Yeah, Mommy?"

"I love you." The words slipped out before she could stop them. She wasn't even sure he'd want to hear that from her. She'd been a stranger for most of his life, coming in and out, causing chaos along the way. She couldn't not say it, though. She needed him to know. She needed him to feel it. She wouldn't fail him this time.

"I love you, too." He said it back so naturally, like it had always been there. "I have to go brush my teeth now, but Daddy says I can see you whenever I want. I want to see you tomorrow, okay? Will you come see me? You could come to see the horses with me and grandma Lily." His cheerfulness was infectious.

"I'd love to."

Parker hung up a minute later, and Blair lay back against the bed, replaying every part of their conversation. It was then that she realized what Parker had said. Daddy says I can see you whenever I want. Blair nearly started jumping on the bed. She was getting her family back.