AN: Thank you guys for the continuing support! This update took a little longer to get out, because I've been having some computer problems. My laptop crashed, and I had to get a new one. Thankfully, I didn't lose my files, but I am still getting used to this new keyboard so bear with me. I'm trying to overcome my keyboard frustration and get the next chapter finished. Finished ranting, enjoy the chap!
YOU WERE MINE
Chapter 13.
CONNECTION
"Invisible threads are the strongest ties."
- Nietzsche
Blair was enjoying a blissful massage at the spa while Parker enjoyed a playdate when the biggest mistake of her life finally put in a call. She'd been expecting Jack, dreading him, but she'd hoped she'd have a little more time to figure out a plan. She knew she'd have to finesse Jack. Play him in a way that he thought he was winning, but also assuring that he didn't. Chuck would never forgive her if she helped Jack take the company from him, and in truth, she'd never really had any desire to do that. She'd just figured she'd lord the threat over Chuck until she made her way in, and then hopefully she and Carter could come up with a plan to cut Jack out completely. He was a reptile, and doing business with him was distasteful. It had only been the importance of her endgame that convinced her to do it. Jack was a mistake.
"Hello, Jack." She tried to make her voice sound inviting, but it came out as more of a grimace. She waved away her masseuse, and pulled the towel around her as she sat up on the table. Her morning of relaxation was officially ruined.
"Well hello Sweetheart. It's been a while since we talked. Seems a lot has changed in your life. Carter's disappeared. You checked out of the hotel. And this morning I hear gossip that you're back under my nephew's roof. I'm impressed. You're just as good as promised." Jack made everything sound dirty.
"You're well informed." Blair allowed while she tried to think of what to say next. "Listen Jack, I don't think we should talk for a while. Chuck might become suspicious and then the entire game is over. He'll crush us. Just let me work my end for a while, and you continue… doing what you do."
Jack laughed, but it wasn't a pleasant sound. "Are you going soft on me, Waldorf?" There was a threat behind his words, and Blair felt chilled. He could destroy her with one phone call, and he had to realize that.
She scoffed, praying she sounded believable. "Never. Chuck destroyed my life and stole my child. I'm going to ruin him, but first I'm going to make him love me again so it hurts worse." The words felt dirty in her mouth, but she knew they were just devious and disgusting enough for Jack to believe her.
She could practically hear him smirking. "I like the way that sounds. Break him down until he has nothing to live for. I guess you'd be an expert at that. Alright, Sweetheart, I'll leave this to you for now, but the clock is ticking. You better heat him up pretty quick. I hate waiting."
Jack hung up before Blair had to answer, and she was relieved. She had to find something on Jack that would keep him in line. Being that Jack was who he was she was sure he had plenty of skeletons in his closet. She'd have to contact a PI, and get this going. Jack's copious drug use and generally insane personality meant he really wouldn't wait for long. A clock was ticking on her happiness, and she was determined to put this all away so Chuck never had to know.
Chuck finished a call with one of his contacts who was still trying to find a place to relocate all the homeless people his project would be putting out when his secretary buzzed him.
"Mr. Bass, your… well…" Madison stumbled over herself, which was very unusual for his usually composed secretary.
"Yes?" He responded impatiently. He had another phone conference in an hour, and he needed to review his notes. He wasn't entirely sure about this venture, but some board members had been pressuring him to check it out and he'd finally caved. He doubted he'd go ahead with it, but it was important that they at least think their opinions mattered. In truth, there were only a few left who had any idea about the current market. The others were from his father's generation, and Chuck wasn't interested in their ways of running things.
Madison didn't have a chance to answer before Chuck's door was opening, and a smiling Blair was standing in the doorway. Chuck laughed to himself. He understood Madison's hesitation now. She'd been with him back in the old days when Blair was Mrs. Bass. It seemed everyone was having some confusion with that, maybe even Chuck himself. Sometimes he caught himself looking at her, thinking about her… as if she was still his wife. He always pulled himself back, but the moments were happening more frequently lately.
"It's fine, Madison." Chuck assured his secretary, and motioned for Blair to shut the door behind her. "Was I expecting you?" He knew he wasn't. They'd been spending a lot of time together at home, but always when Parker was around. Since their confessions a week before they'd both been careful not to be alone, or at least Chuck had.
"My plans went awry this morning, and I was in the area so… I figured I'd drop by. Lily called me this morning, and asked if we'd like to come over for dinner. I told her I'd check with you…" Blair slid into the seat in front of Chuck, and waited for an answer.
Chuck frowned. He'd been dodging Lily's calls all week. Serena had warned him this was coming, and he just didn't feel like shaking up the balance the three of them had found by inviting his entire family into it. He was sure unwelcome probes would follow, and he didn't have any answers. At least none he was willing to share yet.
"Do you want to go?" Chuck asked without providing an answer.
Blair shrugged, genuinely seeming indifferent. "Parker loves Lily, and he's been begging to see Serena and Nate all week. It might be nice… unless you'd feel weird… bringing me, I mean." Blair's words were more of a question, and Chuck immediately caught on.
"It might be a little weird," he conceded. She tried to hide it, but he could read the disappointment in her eyes. He didn't know what to make of that. "But you're right, Parker will enjoy it, and Lily will just track me down if I say no. We might as well face them all now."
Blair was the one frowning now. "Sounds lovely. Should I expect a firing squad?"
Chuck laughed. Blair was starting to seem a lot more like herself. The wit that he'd always so enjoyed was returning. Perhaps it was the ease of their new situation, but Chuck didn't want to risk it. This was the Blair he wanted for Parker, this controlled yet comfortable person. She hadn't had anymore incidents since that night in his bedroom, and he felt that was a good sign. He'd put out feelers to a real estate agent, and intended to move forward with moving plans. Soon the past would truly be put behind them, stains and all.
"No, I'm sure you'll be the favored guest."
Blair looked unsure. "I know Lily isn't exactly thrilled that I moved in with you… Maybe we're in for an intervention. As fun as that sounds, your initial misgivings might be right. I'll pretend I have the flu."
"Blair," Chuck shook his head. Her mood had changed so swiftly. "Lily gave you her BE shares. You really think she doesn't want you back in the family?" He sighed, annoyed at her mysterious behavior. "I don't understand where this is coming from."
Blair was on edge, and she knew it was only partly Chuck's fault. "I just… You avoid me at home, and you act like a dinner with your family is so odd and out of the question. What are we doing, Chuck? I need to know." Blair didn't mean to say it, but then it was out and she had to stand behind it.
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I thought we were doing exactly what you wanted. You're in Parker's life. You're living with him." Chuck was being intentionally obtuse, and Blair's look told him she knew it. "Don't complicate this…" He couldn't meet her gaze any longer.
"You know that's not the only thing I want." Blair felt brave, but also extremely terrified that she was going to crash and burn. She knew she was pushing Chuck too fast, but Jack's call had spooked her. She needed to find solid ground again, and she needed Chuck to be in the same place she was.
"Then what do you want?" He finally exploded. He shoved back his chair, and paced over to the window. His back was to her, and Blair decided that was probably better when they were both this volatile and raw.
"You know," she whispered.
He turned around and faced her. His gaze glued her to her seat, and she couldn't move or look away. He was asking for more, and she had to pull at everything inside of her to find the courage. Just think about the future, she kept chanting to herself.
"I want our family." Blair thought that was revealing enough, but Chuck still didn't look away. She closed her eyes for a moment, steeling herself, and then looked back at him. "You." It was one word, but there was so much meaning behind it.
Chuck barely had a second to react before Serena was barging in with a harried look on her face.
"You have to call my mother back. Now she won't leave me alone, and has insisted I come over here and force you to accept her invitation. Please, Chuck, accept. I can't take much more of her." Serena let out an exhausted breath, and then realized Blair was sitting there and something was obviously going on. "Uh-oh."
Blair jumped up, and headed for the door. "I'll have Parker and myself ready by six. See you then." She half-heartedly smiled at Chuck, before nodding at Serena, and rushing out.
Chuck stared at her, still in shock from her admission. Serena was staring at him, and he knew the questions were coming, but he couldn't focus. He wasn't sure how to feel about Blair's admission. He just knew he didn't need Serena digging around in his head while it was still so fresh.
"I definitely just walked in on something. Don't tell me you guys are fighting. I really think you need to relax a little, Chuck. Whatever happened you'll work through. Blair is doing so much better, and so are you, and Parker is just so happy and-"
"Serena." Chuck silenced her, before she made his head explode. "We weren't fighting."
"Oh." She seemed surprised, and then her mind started working again. "Oh." She smiled brightly. "Then maybe you were having a moment? I'm right aren't I? It was only a matter of time. Nate and I actually kind of bet on it, but not really a bet, because that would be wrong… we know that." Serena finally stopped talking.
"I don't intend to discuss my personal life with you." Chuck told her coolly, and retook his seat at his desk. He pulled out his conference notes, and tried to concentrate on them, but with Serena buzzing around in the background, and Blair's words still on his mind he couldn't.
Serena slid into Blair's recently vacated seat. "Since when? You never want to, but then I annoy you until you agree. We could do that today, or we could skip the middle step and you just tell me. You need my guidance, Chuck. Admit it."
Chuck almost smiled. Serena in a hyped up mood was irrepressible. "Is that what you're calling it?"
"I have always given you great advice…" Serena softened when she saw the truly confused look on Chuck's face. "Okay… this is big then… come on, Chuck. Don't bottle everything up, and try to figure it out on your own. You only end up screwing it up. You might know Blair better than anyone, but you rarely get her. Let me help you." Serena seemed so eager to solve their problems.
Chuck hesitated. He didn't want to discuss this now, but maybe he should. Serena was right. He always seemed to misinterpret Blair, and things seemed so precarious now. Maybe he did need a little push in the right direction. He didn't have to take Serena's advice, but it might provide some entertainment.
"I think she told me she wants to be with me." Chuck felt some relief at saying it out loud. It somehow became more real.
"You think?" Serena seemed unimpressed. "She either did or didn't. Tell me exactly." Serena leaned in, an anxious expression on her face.
"Don't be ridiculous, Serena. Blair and I had a conversation about what she wanted from our current situation, and she said she wanted our family and me. Now, I'm sure I can figure this out on my own, and I'm sure you have work. Tell Lily we will attend the dinner." Chuck tried to dismiss Serena.
"Wow." Serena sat back in her seat, a glazed expression on her face. "She really did it. I'm not surprised she still loves you, but I'm shocked she actually told you. I thought it would take years of serious therapy to fix your marriage."
"I'm divorced." Chuck snapped right back.
"You've never acted like it. Even when you hated her, you felt more for her than anyone else… I'm happy for you guys, Chuck. Maybe this time you can have the family you always wanted." Serena walked around Chuck's desk, and surprised him with a quick hug.
"What was that for?" Chuck pulled back uncomfortably.
"I'm just happy." She smiled, and Chuck could tell she genuinely meant it.
"Blair's just grateful I've let her back into Parker's life. You can't trust anything she says right now. Besides, I'm not certain I even want to attempt another try at my marriage. Blair and I are working well as Parker's parents. Anything more might be too much for her."
Serena sobered up, finally seeing the raw fear in Chuck's eyes. "You didn't do that to her, Chuck." Serena had been saying that to him for years. Right after it happened she said it on replay, but Chuck never really heard her. He said he did. He acted bitter and hateful, like he was above it all, but Serena saw beneath that. Chuck had convinced himself that he was to blame for Blair's illness, for the actions she took, and now he was going back there.
"I'm busy, Serena." Chuck swallowed hard. His hard won composure was failing him. Serena kept prodding at him, and all his old fears were rushing up. If he let Blair back in maybe they'd drown again. Maybe he'd ruin her like Carter accused him. It wasn't so unbelievable. Darkness had followed him his entire life.
"Listen to me," she demanded with more force than he was expected. He turned to her sharply, and she grasped his hand tight in her own. "Blair got sick. It was post-partum depression, and underlying issues she'd dealt with her entire life. None of us knew what to do, Chuck. Do you blame Parker for it?" Chuck scoffed. "Then how can you blame yourself? How can you think that loving her will… hurt her? It won't. Clearly, she believes it won't. She wants you. If you don't want her, then fine, I get it, but don't throw it away on fear."
"I'm not afraid." Chuck hated even the suggestion. "I want you to leave."
Serena stubbornly shook her head. "Nope. I always do that. I always back off when you ask, and I'm done. You need to talk to Blair about this. Settle it between you once and for all. If all you can be is parents together then fine. I know you'll be the best Parker could ever hope for, but if there's a chance you can be more… you owe it to yourself and to Blair, and most especially to your son, to at least talk it out. Stop running, Chuck. Aren't you tired yet?"
Chuck couldn't answer, and Serena smiled at him sadly. She leaned in pressing a quick kiss to his forehead, before silently leaving his office. He sat there a long time afterward thinking about what she'd said. In truth, he was exhausted. He was so tired of putting up walls, going through each day only living for the moments he enjoyed with Parker. Maybe it was more than he ever thought he deserved, but it wasn't the life he thought he'd have. He'd dreamed of a family, of a wife, and a child and maybe even a few more children. He'd buried that dream so far down he'd almost forgotten it, but having Blair back was reminding him. Still, fear was clawing its way through him, and he wasn't sure he could make that leap. Not yet.
Blair clung to Parker's hand as they entered Lily's, but the minute Parker saw his grandmother he took off running. Blair supposed Chuck had never enforced that no running in the house rule. Parker was always so impatient to get somewhere. It was endearing, but also a little frightening. He was like a locomotive, and Blair often times had to veer to the side to get out of his way. His verve for life was enviable.
Chuck came up beside her, and helped her off with her coat. He was carrying a bottle of champagne, her favorite, and she warmed a little. It was the little things that told her Chuck cared more than he let on. When he'd come home earlier to get ready for dinner he'd acted like their conversation in his office hadn't even happened. It had stung, but she'd soldiered on. Maybe her first attempt was a strike, but she had to be strong enough to keep pushing.
"Blair." Lily greeted her with cheek kisses, and a beaming smile. "You look so lovely." Lily turned to Chuck then, and her entire face changed with motherly love. She pulled him into a soft embrace that Chuck let linger longer than he usually did. "Charles." She whispered, and patted his face. Then she was off again to instruct the staff on dinner.
"I guess this is going to be a production." Chuck seemed slightly uncomfortable, and his mood rubbed off on Blair who grimaced.
Eric came up to them then, and took the champagne from Chuck. "You always had good taste."
Chuck just smiled, and they greeted one another warmly before Eric turned to Blair. He hesitated for a minute before bringing her in for a hug. Blair was stiff in his arms, but managed a small smile when they pulled back.
"I'm so glad you guys came. My mother would have stroked out if you didn't. She's been planning this thing for weeks." Eric caught sight of Parker and Nate then, and lit up. "I need to go see my favorite nephew."
Blair smiled as Nate, Eric, Serena and Lily all crowded around Parker. Her son regaled them with stories of his day, stories of Chuck, of Blair, of his favorite new game, and they hung on every word. This was his family, and Blair started to relax. She wanted to be a part of this, and tonight was her chance.
"I can see why he loves coming over here." Blair was still smiling as she watched them all.
Chuck nodded, amused at the picture before him. "He doesn't hurt for attention. Even my father, when he was alive… Parker just had a way with him." A hint of sadness whispered over Chuck's face, and Blair reached for his hand without thinking about it. He allowed the small contact for a minute, before he released her. "I'll chill the champagne."
He walked off, and Blair found herself standing alone watching everything happening around her. Just as she was starting to feel uneasy again, Parker spotted her and called out for her. Blair sent him a wobbly smile, and headed over. Everyone moved over to give her a spot next to her son, and she liked the way it felt. She was Parker's mother.
"Tell Grandma Lily what the bad lady said to you Mommy." Parker was clearly mid-story, and it took Blair a minute to realize he meant the show down with Georgina the past week. Parker poked Blair's leg. "Tell'em."
"Oh, Parker, it wasn't… Maybe we shouldn't. Your father handled it." Blair was uncomfortable talking about Georgina, the woman who still held the title of Chuck's fiancé.
No one else seemed the least bit uncomfortable though, and everyone, including her precocious son continued to stare her down.
"Well," she looked around for Chuck, but he was still gone. "Georgina just came over and… she was… Georgina." Blair finished lamely. It wasn't like her to hold back, but the situation she found herself in was so odd she didn't know what to do. What if Lily actually liked Georgina.
Lily disabused her of that notion quickly. "I can only imagine. Bad woman indeed." She shook her head, a perfectly practiced disdainful look on her face. "I can only hope Charles rids himself of her soon."
"Here, here." Eric agreed heartily.
Serena laughed. "Mom."
Lily gathered herself again, and realized Parker was hanging on her every word. "Well, what I meant to say was…"
Chuck cleared his throat behind them, and smirked at Lily. "What did you mean to say?"
Lily glanced at Serena helplessly, but Serena was still giggling, and Nate suspiciously wouldn't look up from his drink. Eric just shrugged, clearly not the least bit embarrassed by his own comments. Chuck's gaze landed on Blair last, and she felt guilty even though she knew she shouldn't. She hadn't started this conversation, and she hadn't even bad-mouthed Georgina like she could have. Still, Chuck probably thought she was acting crazy-jealous.
Lily sighed, and shook her head. "I'm afraid I meant exactly that. I hope you'll be well rid of her soon. Come on Parker, let's check on dinner." Lily grabbed Parker's hand, and led him away with her, wisely staving off a confrontation with Chuck.
"Damn she's good." Serena couldn't stop smiling.
"If I was half as good as her I would already be an executive at my company." Eric marveled at his mother, and then noticed Chuck still staring at them. "I'll check on dinner as well. Never too many eyes on that stuff." He rushed out, just leaving the four of them.
"Don't tell me you all need to check dinner as well?" Chuck glared at them, but he didn't seem too upset.
Serena shook her head. "Oh no, I'm fine right here. I've told you many times how I feel about that little-"
"Serena," Nate stopped her, but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. He looked up at Chuck and shrugged. "I'm sorry, man."
"Actually Nate, I think we should check on dinner." Before Chuck could stop them, Serena was leading Nate off in the same direction that the others had disappeared.
Blair sighed. "I guess I can't use that excuse as well?"
Chuck shook his head, and came around to sit beside her.
"Believe it or not I didn't start that conversation, nor did I encourage it. Parker was telling them about the other day, and I didn't mention-"
Chuck laid a quieting hand on Blair's thigh, and she immediately shut up. The contact wasn't unwelcome but it was a surprise. "I'm not concerned with Georgina. My family has never cared for her."
"Good." Blair slipped, and then winced. "I mean…" She sighed, sick of trying to pretend. "Good, actually. I've already told you how I feel about her and you and us, and you haven't said a word to me. So maybe I will go check on dinner."
Blair started to get up, but Chuck grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She ended up landing halfway on his lap, and halfway on the couch. Where she would have slid onto the couch, he pulled her back against him. This was as close as he'd let her get to him in a long time, and her heart was going crazy inside her chest. He smelled so nice, spicy but clean. It was the cologne she'd bought him for his seventeenth birthday. He'd loved it, and never used anything else since. It was the history that always brought her back to him when she thought she could start over. There was too much to run from, too much to lose.
"Chuck…" She whispered his name, yearning to be close to him, but still so scared. She'd opened up to him, and he hadn't given her anything in return.
"Hi." He grinned at her. That boyish grin she remembered from their childhood. Innocent, but protective. Loving, but scared. So vulnerable she always got scared for him. She hadn't seen that look in so long, maybe not since they were kids, not since Bart did his best to wash it out of him.
"I need to know that you feel the same. Chuck, I-"
He kissed her then. It surprised her, but it shouldn't have. She knew that look in his eyes, the wanting that went so deep neither of them could deny it. She couldn't deny it now either. It wasn't exactly the answer she needed, but it was enough. It was desperate and quick, and he pulled back way too soon. Her breathing was spiked, and she shivered when he reached out to brush away some lipstick that he'd smeared.
"Slow, okay?" There was that vulnerability again. It did her in, and she found herself nodding in agreement. She could go as slow as he wanted. She could wait a lifetime if he just kept looking at her like that. Like he loved her, like she wasn't broken. He hadn't looked at her like that since right before Parker was born. And it was perfect, almost too perfect.
Tears pricked behind her eyes, and she tried to look away but he wouldn't let her. His eyes bored into her own, and some silent communication traveled between them. She understood what he was promising her then. Give him time. Let him heal a little more. He was scared and couldn't say it. He needed her to be strong.
"Okay." She whispered, even though she knew the answer was already in her eyes. She leaned back into him, and laid a whisper of a kiss against his lips. She needed to feel the promise one more time, needed to feel his heart beat against hers, that special rhythm that only ever belonged to her.
Blair pulled back with a smile on her face, but it dimmed quickly when she realized Parker was standing in front of them staring. He wasn't smiling, but he wasn't frowning either. Instead, it looked like he was studying them. Blair started to panic, and moved off Chuck's lap. He let her that time, and turned toward Parker with a cautious look. It seemed none of them knew what to say.
Lily appeared then. "Dinner is ready." She noticed the silence, and looked down at Parker. "What's wrong?"
"Daddy was kissing Mommy." Parker still seemed unsure of how he felt about it.
Lily nearly choked. "Well… alright then. Dinner is ready." She walked off realizing the three of them needed to talk by themselves, and most likely wanting to get the hell out of dodge.
Blair heard whisperings behind her, and knew Lily was filling in the others. For once, Blair wished Serena would swoop in and somehow fix this. With everything so unsure Blair didn't want Parker grasping onto her and Chuck like this. It could really hurt him when they had their inevitable ups and downs.
"Parker…" Chuck started, but couldn't find the words.
"We were just…" Blair couldn't either.
"Kissing. K.I.S.S.I.N.G. Like the song." He continued to stare at them, and Blair was worried they'd seriously traumatized him. He'd probably never seen Chuck kissing anyone since it didn't seem like Chuck brought Georgina around, and when he did the rules were likely strict.
"What do you think about it?" Chuck finally asked cutting to the heart of the issue.
"Does this mean we're a real family now? Like you'll be married, and have more babies and stuff?" Parker's reaction still wasn't readable, but his new questions were making Blair queasy. It was hard enough asking herself that stuff. She couldn't imagine answering Parker.
"Would you want that?" Chuck was keeping safe with his questions, not giving an inch. Blair decided even Lily wasn't this good.
Parker seemed to debate for a minute, before breaking into a big smile and jumping onto Chuck's lap. He situated himself, and then reached for Blair's hand to pull her in closer. It looked like the perfect family picture, and Blair knew without listening what Parker would say.
"I want a big wedding, with lots of cake and balloons. And I don't want no sisters. Only little brothers. Daddy says sisters are a pain." Parker sighed pleased with himself.
Blair still couldn't speak. A big wedding didn't seem so bad, but more children scared her to death.
Chuck's expression was hard to read. "We'll see." He kissed Parker on the head, and then forced them both to their feet. "Let's eat." Chuck turned back and reached for Blair's hand. She took his gesture with a wary smile, and followed him into the dining room.
Serena was grinning when they sat down, and winked at Chuck.
"Parker, why don't you say grace." Lily instructed.
Parker eagerly nodded, and took his spot between Serena and Nate at the table. He clasped their hands, and then waited for everyone else to link up as well. Blair and Chuck shared a look as their hands twined, and everyone watched them.
"Thank you God for my Grandma Lily's mac and cheese, and for S and Uncle Nate and Uncle Eric – oh and for Mrs. B. And thank you God for bringing my Mommy home and making her marry my Daddy and give me lots of little brothers. Amen." Parker clapped his hands, and began digging into his dinner while everyone else remained shocked into silence.
Lily was the first to break the ice. "Should we start a baby registry?" Her question was aimed at Blair, and she didn't seem the least bit upset. For a woman who was worried about things moving too fast, the idea of a new baby in the family changed her mind quick.
"Lily." Chuck looked at her warningly.
"Well, I can always hope can't I?" She smiled pleased with herself and sipped her wine.
"Lots of little brothers?" Nate echoed Parker's words to Chuck. "I know I've been busy, but…"
"Nate." Blair snapped. This was ludicrous. They obviously all knew Parker was a wishful child, but no one seemed the least bit interested in curtailing these fantasies. Even Chuck wasn't stepping in. It irked Blair. "Enough."
"Blair's right," Serena agreed. "I think you guys should have a girl. She'll be stunning."
Parker squealed. "Eww no, sisters are a pain. Tell her Daddy."
Serena quirked an eyebrow at Chuck. "Oh, really?"
Chuck nodded, and smiled tightly. "Oh, definitely."
Eric laughed. "Parker's right. Boys all the way."
Serena threw her napkin at him, and he returned the favor, which caused Parker no endless source of amusement. Lily tried to stop them, but before any of them knew it things were flying all over Lily's perfectly planned dinner party. Thankfully, food had been deemed off limits, but napkins, napkin holders, and any other small decoration was being thrown. Blair was hit in the face with a snapped off peony and glared at Serena.
"Oops." Serena didn't look the least bit sorry.
Blair finally started laughing herself, and wadded up her napkin aiming right for Serena's forehead. It missed completely though and landed on Parker's head who quickly complimented his mother's aim before throwing something back at her. Chuck and Lily were the only non-participants, but they still got hit with a number of flying objects before everyone settled down.
"Well." Lily sighed, clearly used to this boisterous crowd. "And to think I thought you were all adults now."
Nate was the first to look shame-faced. "Sorry, Lily."
Lily gave him a stern look, and then stared down everyone at the table one by one. Parker was the last to get the look, but instead of apologizing, he started laughing. Lily cracked a smile, but didn't let him off the hook.
"Parker." Chuck's voice was a command.
Parker sobered up for a second, and tried to bow his head just like Nate had. "Sorry Grandma Lily, but S did it first."
"Parker." Chuck's voice was warning.
Parker got up, and walked around to Lily. He climbed into her lap, and whispered something in her ear, before kissing her cheek and going back to his chair. Chuck looked across at him, and then at Lily, waiting on a verdict.
"Of course, I accept." Lily grinned at Parker, and he grinned back. Chuck's stern face fell, and he finally smiled as well. "Now, let's eat what you haven't ruined." She gave Serena another look, but her daughter was still smiling like a lunatic.
Blair hadn't realized how much she'd missed all of this until that moment. It wasn't just Chuck and Parker she needed, but this table, these people, these nights. She'd grown up in this world with all of them. She'd built herself with them, and even though they'd all faltered, herself included, she loved them. She loved Nate for always being stalwart and true, and for loving Serena like she deserved. She loved Serena for her pure heart, and ability to make any situation alright. She loved Lily, because she'd taken in a broken twelve year old and loved him without question. She loved Eric as the little brother she'd never had, and always wanted. And the two she loved the most, her husband, her son… she watched them. Parker dug into his macaroni happily, at ease with his family, with himself… And Chuck… Chuck was the man she'd always wanted him to be. He was open and smiled from time to time. He joked with Nate, teased Eric, and constantly bickered with Serena. And as this world happened around her Blair realized she was a part of it. She'd always been meant to be, and tonight was only the first night, the first few moments… there was more to come.
