Chapter 3

Everyone but Sheldon and Amy screamed, as seeing two Sheldons without some trick or Photoshop was when the nightmare usually climaxed. They all slapped their own faces to remind themselves this wasn't a dream… which didn't help since that meant there were two Sheldons.

"Remarkable" the Sheldon from this universe said as he examined his counterpart's head protruding from the vortex and went to touch it.

"Sheldon, don't touch him!" Leonard shouted.

"I wasn't" the other Sheldon said as though he though Leonard was blind even with his glasses. "You can't even see my hands" he added as he looked down to only see the vortex.

"I believe he was referring to me" the full-body Sheldon said. "I was about to grasp your face, as it is the very symbol of the next stage of human evolution."

"What a blowhard" the Sheldon head said, to the full body Sheldon's shock and the admiration of the others. Speaking of which, the head turned to the others. "You may call me Sheldon 2."

"Is that an implication of your view that our universe is better than yours?" Sheldon said, thinking this was a set-up for an apology.

"No, but I'm better than you." Sheldon 2 said. To the others, he said "Since this seems to be your universe's first trip to another, I proclaim myself and everyone here as 2 so there is less confusion and more time to make observations."

Leonard smiled at his Sheldon's seething anger. "So, you're pretty ballsy, poking your head through here, looking around" he said to Sheldon 2.

"Excuse me, I was about to go through. Where's my adoration and praise?" Sheldon said indignantly.

"He is braver. I knew there was nothing to fear." Sheldon 2 said. When he saw everyone's surprised look, he added "You think you're the first universe to figure out how to travel across other universes?"

Well, that little sentence practically floored all them, but especially Leonard, Howard, Raj, Kripke and Sheldon. They were living in a Star Trek fantasy.

"How many universes are there?" Penny asked.

"Oh, billions." Sheldon 2 said. "I've met nowhere close to even one percent of representatives from all those universes, but there have been several none the less. Why don't you all come over?"

Words would be inadequate to explain the feelings they all felt about this… except Sheldon 2. Been to one universe, been to about 95% of them all.

"Is it safe?" Leonard asked, trying to keep his excitement under control in case Sheldon 2 said it wasn't. Sheldon 2, for his part, made sounds and sniffed the air around him.

"The composition of the air here seems similar to the air in my universe and the pressure is also the same. I seem fine as I am, old bowling ball checking things out."

Leonard looked at his friends and saw the same look in their eyes that he knew was in his: They were going. They all went toward the vortex.

"Now wait just one gosh darn minute." Sheldon said. "I found a way to the parallel universe, I get to go first."

"Then go." Penny said impatiently, echoing the sentiment of everyone else.

"I was kind of hoping he wouldn't be coming." Sheldon 2 said. Just like their Sheldon, he didn't seem to realize how his words could make someone angry… and boy was Sheldon fuming.

"As tempting as that sounds," Howard said. "If he doesn't come, he's going to whine, moan and be more of a d-bag than he already is."

Sheldon 2 thought this over for a moment, mostly because he didn't know what a d-bag was. "Very well. All shall pass" he finished, pleased with his play oh his favorite Lord of the Rings line. And all did pass through the vortex, Leonard grabbing his camera as he entered last.

It was like walking through a mist as they walked through the vortex. As they entered on the other side, a trip taking not even a second, they looked around and saw… the same living room they just left. Same rug, same paint, same couch. The only clue something special was going on were the two Sheldons, one showing the same dwindling interest as the rest of them and the other getting drinks ready. Other than that…

"Big whoop." Kripke said.

"Hold on, let's hear more." Raj said. "Sheldon, am I a magnet for ladies."

"Not really, no. Can't really talk to them without alcohol in your system, actually." Sheldon 2 said, after the confusion over which Sheldon he was referring to was cleared up. ("How am I supposed to know how you are with ladies here? I barely care how you are in our universe" the first Sheldon had said.)

Bernadette looked outside and saw nothing special. Sky was still orange from twilight, people were walking or driving to what was likely the same places she knew from her universe. She turned to her friends and shrugged. Leonard, who was taking pictures, soon grew bored as well.

"Is anything wrong?" Sheldon 2 asked, finally noticing everyone else's underwhelmed reactions. "Is there something wrong with my universe?"

"No." Leonard said. "I guess we figured there would be more difference in this universe from ours."

"There is a difference." Penny said, remembering what made them believe Kripke in the first place. She walked bold as brass to the couch, to Sheldon's spot, and sat right down and leaned back.

Everyone looked towards Sheldon 2. Sheldon 2 looked at them.

"Is something the matter?" Sheldon 2 asked, more than a little creeped out by everyone looking at him like his head was going to explode.

"Have you any feelings towards Penny sitting in your spot?" Howard said, looking for the slightest hint of anger on Sheldon 2's face.

"No. I did sign up for my spot from 8 to 10 tonight to watch Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, but until then she can sit there."

All of a sudden, this universe might as well have flying pigs and dancing frogs.

"Can your Leonard watch Babylon 5?"

"Can you drive?"
"Do you have a bathroom schedule?"

"How do you like these?" *kiss*

"Why not? Yes. Yes; when I need to go, that's the time I go. Yes, I like those, but not from you." Sheldon 2 said to Leonard, Howard, Leonard again, and Amy respectfully.

"The Amy here is a lucky girl." Amy said, with a distant, happy feeling over her kiss with a Sheldon who had no problems with it.

"I guess." Sheldon 2 said. Why is the Amy here lucky? he thought.

"Penny, get out of my spot!" Sheldon shouted, for the second time causing everyone to jump.

"Sheldon, what're you talking about?" Penny said, making sure she didn't defile the spot by a sudden bladder excavation.

"You're in my spot. I can't have that." Sheldon said, lip quivering.

Penny just smiled, an evil smile. She moved slightly to get a better view of Sheldon 2. "Sweeie 2, may I sit here?" Penny asked as sweetly as possible.

"I already said yes, until 8." Sheldon 2 said. He turned towards the other Sheldon. "Dr. Cooper, you seem to be unaware, but you are in my universe, my apartment, and that is my couch and, therefore, you have no say over who gets to sit in my spot."

"I'm sorry, but that is unacceptable." Sheldon said. "Therefore, I appoint myself as garrison of this universe until which time I have molded your mind from its primitive ideology."

There was no surprise from anyone that Sheldon would somehow manage to make himself upset, if that all too familiar quiver in Sheldon 2's lip meant anything in this universe.

"And on what grounds do you base your hypothesis?" Sheldon 2 said, his anger starting to boil.

"You obviously have no idea on the benefits of this spot." Sheldon said.

"You mean the air flow in the summer, the radiant heat in the winter, the optimum viewing angle for the TV and the perfect placement for social gatherings? You think I have a sign-up sheet just willy-nilly?" Sheldon 2 said, getting louder as he spoke.

"I don't know." Sheldon said. "If you know what's so special about my spot… our spot… your spot." he continued as Sheldon 2 took exception at him trying to take claim for the spot. "Then why are you just letting any trailer trash pop their keister, willy-nilly?"

Oh god, I'm now rooting for Sheldon 2. Penny thought angrily.

"It's called 'sharing', as vividly demonstrated in one of the great literary classics 'Farmer Bill and the Vegetable Patch'." Sheldon 2 said. "Where did you get your Ph.D? Was it the prize in your Apple Jacks?" Sheldon 2… err, Sheldoned-laughed at his joke.

"At least I have one." Sheldon said.

That was what got Penny off the spot, as she joined the non-Sheldons away from the two insulted Sheldons in their mist.

"Not checking a couch cushion every five minutes for foreign butt impressions invalidates my work in physics?" Sheldon 2 asked sarcastically. "Oh dear, now I'll never be published alongside your paper, entitled 'I jus' 'bout Seen Everything, When I See an Elephant Fly'." Sheldon 2 said with a smirk.

"It's about expressing you superiority over lesser human beings." Sheldon said.

"You mean the ones taking so much time to read comics, play video games, and engaging in colitis that they have no time to guard a cushion? Oh yes, they're quite inferior." Sheldon 2 said in a sarcastic tone not missed by anyone.

"Yes, they're inferi…" I said not missed. Didn't say it was all at the same time. "How dare you use sarcasm on me?" Pause. "Twice?" Sheldon calmed down into his haughty self. "I guess I shouldn't expect that a lower mind, unlikely to win a Nobel Peace Prize, to think of anything better than…"

"Excuse me." Sheldon 2 said. "Did you just say I'm unlikely to win a Nobel Peace Prize?"

"Yes." Sheldon said.

Sheldon 2 looked confused and went into his room. Sheldon only had a second to smirk when his counterpart came back, holding a velvet case.

"Can you please explain what this is?" Sheldon 2 asked as he opened the box.

Sheldon's jaw dropped, as did the others' when they got a look. In that was the thing Sheldon coveted more than anything, even more than his consciousness put into a robot… the Nobel Peace Prize. Sheldon looked up to see Sheldon 2's smug look, then at his "friends", all but Amy having to force themselves not to laugh. He didn't even tried to stop Amy from hugging him in sympathy. All this happened as Sheldon 2 looked at his watch.

"Penny, you have twelve minutes and forty five seconds to enjoy that spot." Sheldon 2 said, confident that his self-imposed moniker was not a sign of inferiority.

"Hey, Sheldon 2." Howard said, in an adoring tone he would never have given the Sheldon in his universe. "May I touch your Nobel Peace Prize?"

"You don't have one?" Sheldon 2 asked,. "Why is it that out of all the Howard Wolowitzes I've met, none have a Nobel Peace Prize?" he wondered out loud after Howard said no, with no hint of the sarcasm he used against Sheldon.

"Because I'm an engineer?" Howard asked tentatively.

Sheldon 2 laughed. Howard hugged him, to Sheldon 2's surprise. Everyone else was also surprised… that there wasn't a pink badger drinking tea right now in this fantasy land.

"I officially love this Sheldon." Howard said.

"Same here." Penny said, daring to put her feet up on the coffee table. To her amusement, Sheldon 2 only moved some of the drinks away from her feet. ("It's better to not put your feet up when there's food on the table." Sheldon 2 said without Sheldon's rage.)

"He's okay." Amy said, trying to not hurt her Sheldon any more. The anger on his face showed she failed… miserably. "He's more open." Amy said defensively.

"I think he's cool." Raj said. "I propose calling him Sheldon 2.0." he finished, to Sheldon 2's pleasure.

"I wish he was my roommate." Leonard said. "You know, I think I'll take him home."

This got laughs from everyone else, a small smile from Amy, a disgusted look from Sheldon and a look of pure horror from Sheldon 2.

"Don't do that." he said panicked.

"I was kidding." Leonard said reassuringly. "I just want to mess with the Leonard of this universe."

"You may call him Leonard 2 for the same reason you call me Sheldon 2, but don't say you'll take me." Sheldon 2 said, more panicked.

Just then, the door could be heard unlocking. "I'll let Sheldon know you're coming." A Leonard was heard saying on the other side of the door.

"Sweet, I get to meet my counterpart." Leonard said, maybe a little too excited.

"Leonard, don't say it." Sheldon 2 shouted.

"What are you talking about Shel…" Leonard 2 started to say, before he realized that he was no longer the only Leonard. "Uh, hi." he said, a mix of amusement and nervousness.

"Hello, I'm Leonard." Leonard said, just as he realized the Leonard 2 probably could've inferred that. "We were just meeting your roommate Sheldon. Great guy."

"Well, uh, yeah, he's cool." Leonard 2 said, relaxing a little.

"Yeah, we were thinking about switching Sheldons for a while, just so we can see what having a sane one felt like." Leonard said with a goofy smile.

Leonard had a feeling he said the wrong thing judging from Leonard 2's face. Leonard knew he said a boneheaded thing when Leonard 2 pulled a pistol from behind him and pointed it at Leonard's head.