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MARCH BREAK WHEE
"Fake tree or real tree?" Pepper asked, scrolling through her BlackBerry.
Tony leaned into the soft leather seat of his limo and answered curtly, "I like real ones."
"I just thought you'd like fake ones," She answered, as if he was annoyed with her, "Less hassle. And cheaper."
His tone changed dramatically. "How can you say cheap ones are better?"
"I never said that!" Pepper snapped, a thin scowl on her lips.
"You were implying it," Tony shrugged and she rolled her eyes at him, returning to her phone. "Fake ones stink."
"I was just stating my opinion. I happened to own a fake one back before I moved in with you, and it was just fine."
Tony didn't reply to this, until she added, "And for your information, fake ones do not smell. Real ones do."
"But they smell good; they smell like pine!"
"Fine! We'll get a real one for you!"
Tony smiled crookedly, knowing that he'd won. Happy dropped them off at the parking lot filled with spruce and pine trees, and the two exited from the limo.
"Hey, what about this one?" Pepper held up a small branch of a tiny pine tree and smiled at Tony.
Tony shoved his hands in his black jacket and fixed his sunglasses. "Nah, too small."
She rolled her eyes impatiently and put her gloved hands on her white jacket's hips. "You're kidding me, right?"
"My house is huge," he said it as if he was informing her on something new, "I'll need a tree that at least reaches the ceiling." Tony glanced around the tree lot, until his eyes zoned in on something. "Now there's a tree."
The alter-ego of Iron Man practically waltzed over to the big tree in the corner, and held out his hands, showing the tree to Pepper as if it were a car and he was a cheap salesman. Pepper surveyed the tree from top to bottom.
"The thing's practically dying, Tony, let's just get another one." Pepper crossed her arms. The tree's tips were yellowing and it had been abandoned, but Tony wasn't about to give up.
"No no," he insisted, gesturing her to go get the man selling the trees, "It's fine. We're buying this one."
She rolled her eyes, and went to go find the tree salesperson. Tony scrolled through his phone slowly, reading over all the latest news while he waited for Pepper. He checked his texts, and found exactly what he was waiting for.
He quickly mashed back a reply to the sender, and continued waiting for his girlfriend to return.
Clint hated Christmas music.
Right now, carolers were belting out carols as loud as they could to any passerby. And Clint was going to have to pass by.
He thought all Christmas songs didn't make any sense, which is probably reasonable because most of them don't.
A reindeer with a red nose? He's sick, not magical! Get him to a vet!
Grandma got run over by a reindeer? No explanation needed.
Let it snow, let it snow? Clint had a bad memory of being on a mission and being snowed in and then having to force his way through the snow mountain which was taller than him.
He took Natasha's arm and gently led her away from that street, nearly careening into another person. After a muttered sorry, Natasha stared blankly at him.
"Where are we going?" She asked, yanking Clint back to the original street.
He pulled her back, stating, "Carolers; 12 o'clock."
Natasha rolled her eyes. "You're kidding me. You're afraid of carolers."
"FYI, they go to your house and don't leave until you give them something."
"You've got to be kidding me." She repeated and yanked him back to the original street they were walking on, Clint digging his heels into the ground trying to slow her down to no avail.
The carolers saw the two assassins approaching and chose to break out in a loud version Baby It's Cold Outside, which made Clint struggle against Natasha's firm grip more.
Clint was too busy struggling against Natasha's grip that long after they passed the carolers, so his eyes were still shut and he didn't realize that until Natasha released his arm. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"
"Uh..." Clint scratched his neck sheepishly, and looked away to avoid her gaze. When he turned his eyes back to her, he did a double-take and looked back to the spot he was staring at earlier. "Ooh, a store! Let's pick up some presents for the Avengers!"
Then he pulled her very quickly over to the store, and they entered, trying to act casual.
Despite their trying hard to stay unrecognized by wearing sunglasses and Natasha wearing a hat covering her hair with Clint having his hood pulled up, it wasn't long before they were mobbed by people asking to take pictures and paparazzi begging for information. They did pose for some pictures, causing the non-paparazzi to die down, but the paparazzi asked for more and wouldn't leave them alone.
Forcing themselves to ignore the paparazzi, Clint and Natasha started to scout for presents, and luckily security arrived soon enough to push the paparazzi mounding them away. They continued searching for the perfect gifts.
"So what are we supposed to get for the most obnoxious guy who practically has everything?" Natasha asked Clint, looking down the aisles and aisles of potential Christmas.
Clint shrugged and plucked a plunger off one of the shelves. "How about this? So we can clean out his mouth."
"Or this," Natasha held up a leash. "So Pepper can make sure he doesn't go anywhere."
The two exchanged small smiles, but put the items back where they came from. They continued looking for gifts, and Clint was secretly trying to pick out something perfect for Natasha.
What would someone like Natasha want? He asked himself, something practical? Or maybe...
He paused at where he saw a mannequin with a beautiful white summer dress on it. Clint stared at it for a long time, imagining Natasha's porcelain skin matching with the white dress and her red hair flowing over her shoulders. He shook himself out of it, but didn't buy the dress.
She would probably kill him if he did.
Clint continued looking for perfect gifts, and at the end of the day, he'd gotten gifts for Bruce, Thor, Steve, Pepper, Maria and even one for Fury, but remained giftless for Natasha and Tony.
Natasha, however, had managed to find gifts for everyone, despite this being her first real celebratory Christmas.
Clint accused her of having celebrated this holiday before, therefore she knew exactly what to buy, and Natasha accused him of forgetting to buy something for her.
This, he denied, stating that he wasn't sure what to buy for her.
She didn't believe him.
"So, these birds, you consume them?"
Bruce was getting tired.
And it had only been five minutes in that store.
He was juggling between telling Steve what most of the new traditions of today were, and what you could eat and what you could not eat on Christmas to Thor.
So far, Thor was having trouble understanding why they ate chickens and not pigeons, because while there was an abundance of free pigeons, they paid for chickens.
It wasn't long before after Bruce ran out of sufficient reasons to give Thor that he too started to believe that humans should eat pigeons.
"Yes, we eat chickens because pigeons eat trash and gross stuff so they're not as healthy and, pigeons can fly so they're harder to catch." Bruce replied.
And I wasn't even supposed to be buying food, Clint was... He was peeved that he had even brought them in here.
"But, Man of Iron can fly! Why not just ask him to catch us a large abundance of these pigeons instead?" Thor asked again, prodding the frozen chicken with his finger.
Bruce groaned loudly. "You know what, let's just go get our decorations, okay?"
"Of course, I would enjoy the buying of the Christmas items to complete our decor!"
The alter-ego of Hulk sighed loudly.
"Hang on," Steve called, "Why is there a can with my face on it?"
Bruce took a gander at the can of Dr. Pepper brandished with a photo of Captain America on it.
"Honestly, I have no idea." And with that, he pulled the two modern-Christmas oblivious heroes out of the grocery store.
Dropping by Toronto on March 8th and March 9th?
Go to Comic-Con at the MCC. I'll be there! :) Maybe we'll meet.
Just go up to the girl with glasses, a big smile on her face, without a costume, looking for Iron Man or something, and ask them "Are you Macy-Terreth?"
And then I might say yes. And I'll buy you coffee.
