Finally finished this arc! I wanted to write a good, long entry for you guys since it took me so long to get a new part posted. This bit finishes up the Fear of Flight story (unless I come up with something really good to tie into it later haha). Sorry for the late update, like I said. This was my first week back at school. A bit hectic, but fun, regardless.
And sorry for deleting the last chapter I posted. I got negative feedback on it, so I took it down as to not ruin the work I already had posted for everyone. It's no biggie, and if you guys ever need to tell me something is bad in a chapter or a story I'm pursuing isn't that great, let me know. Critique is great, in art and in writing. I'm not a sensitive person because my profession doesn't let me be. You probably won't hurt my feelings. I don't have many left.
But since I deleted it, thank you again to Alana-kittychan because I haven't been able to PM you to thank you. I really appreciate it everytime you review! It's so sweet! And thank you to the guest who added to my molting theory. I laughed out loud when I read your idea. And thank you to the guest who calls himself 'dude'. It's cool if you haven't reviewed in a while. I appreciate you reviewing now :D I'm glad you like it! And I'm sorry your review died. I will send flowers.
Okay, gotta go now, guys. It's 4 AM here and I have class at 10 AM ugh.
EDIT:
Just to clarify, I based the end of this off of research I did into methods to overcome a flight related phobia. The method I found was to not force yourself to overcome it in a stressful way. The site I found recommended a more self-induced trance like state in which one severs the negative connection they have developed to flying. What I mean might make more sense when you get to the end of the story. Sorry for being annoying. I'm out, for real this time.
"Do you mind repeating what you just said?" Tooth asked.
"Do I have to?" he scratched at the base of his neck, making a face, then launched back into explanation. "I need your help with flying. I can still, like, do it, but I can't at the same time. Does that make sense? Like, I just need your help making it fun again." Tooth looked at him hard as he spoke. He got the feeling that she knew something was up.
"Why wouldn't flying be fun anymore? You're the guardian of fun. I thought that everything was fun for you?" she asked, concern creeping onto her face.
"Well, I am. And most things are. And flying's usually fun, but... but I'm kinda scared of it now I guess is all I'm trying to say." he mumbled the last bit.
"You're what?!" Tooth shrieked, "This isn't because of the lightning incident, is it? North mentioned you had been acting strange since then but I had no idea!". Jack braced himself. Tooth rushed forward and gripped him in a tight embrace, a tad bit distraught. "Jack, what've I done to you! I sent you out there and you got hurt and now I ruined the thing you loved so much! How could I? This is so awful! I promise I'll do whatever I can, anything, to help you get better!".
"Tooth! Give me a second to breathe! And I'm not sick. North says it's just a small phobia. I just gotta beat it." Tooth released him finally. "No worries, okay?" he said, emphasizing by waving his hands about.
"O-okay. But how do you plan on beating it? Aren't phobias a big deal?" Tooth asked, uncertain.
"North says they're only a big deal if you let them be." Jack wasn't normally into quoting North like he was the authority on all things. He wasn't even so sure North was right, but it was just about all he had to cling to. "And that's why I asked if you could come. You fly all the time, so I thought you could help me remember how to have fun doing it!" he smiled to himself, remembering how clever he had thought this plan was when he first came up with it.
"But Jack, I don't really think flying is all that much fun." Tooth admitted with a small shrug.
"You what?" Jack was shocked. How could flying be anything but fun? Well, that is, unless you had recently had a fun little accident while flying.
"Well, I've been able to fly since I was a kid. It's not really anything special anymore. Second nature, I guess." Tooth laughed. Jack didn't.
"Ugh, how am I gonna get over this, then?" he looked out of one of the many windows hopelessly, shivering a bit at the drop below it.
"It's all mind over matter! You just gotta convince yourself nothing bad will happen and then you'll be fine!" Tooth insisted, nodding vigorously.
"You think?" Jack asked, still apprehensive. He had already tried to convince himself several times that the danger was all imagined.
"I know so!" Tooth chirped, "You're a natural flier, just like me." she beamed at him, then grabbed him by the icy hand. "C'mon, we're going to the roof right now!" she said.
"What?! No no no, that's okay, how 'bout we talk about this first, I don't really think I'm ready yet, and..." Tooth ignored every protest he made all the way to the high high roof of Santoff Clausen.
xXx
Wind tore at his hoodie, whipping every strand of hair away from his face. Wind was happy to see him. In that overexcited pet dog sort of way. It licked at his face and nearly knocked him over as soon as their feet hit the tiles of the roof.
"Oh dear!" Tooth cried. He had to grab her before she was flung all the way back to her palace.
"Hey, I got ya! Sorry, I think the wind missed me!" he shouted over the whistle of air friction.
"You and the wind are friends?! That's strange!" Tooth shouted back. The force of the wind picked up, screaming by them angrily. "Uh, I mean that's very nice! Very nice of you, wind!" she made an apologetic face and patted the empty air beside herself. The wind calmed to a playful breeze.
"Ha ha, yeah, it's kinda cool, really. Wind was my friend back when I didn't have any others, you know." Jack made to grin, then thought of something. Tooth watched the grin die on his face.
"Jack... were you lonely?" her own voice had lost some of its usual cheer.
"Well..." it seemed for a moment as if he would just laugh the question off, like he did so many things. He was the guardian of fun, after all. Laughter was somewhere he could find refuge. Even refuge from the truth. But then she made him meet her gaze. The laughter died in his eyes.
"Yes. Very." he replied. Then he looked back down at his bare feet.
She searched for something to say. The brutal honesty of his answer had left her without a proper response. "I'm sorry." she mumbled.
"It's... it's no big deal. I've got this phobia thing to worry about and I just can't deal with that right now." he sighed. He turned away, to glare out at the edge of the roof.
"Well, when you can deal with it, let me help with that problem, too, okay?" she asked, "I... we all owe you that much.".
He didn't reply for a second. His head bent a little, and he pulled his hood up over the back of his head. "Thanks." his voice was softer than before.
"It's no big deal." she smiled at his back. Then she stooped, gathered up a bit of snow, and wadded it into a ball. She tossed it, striking him between the shoulder blades. He whipped around, shocked for a moment, then he broke down laughing. The hood had fallen from his head.
"Come on, quit moping around, lets get this phobia cured." she balled her tiny hands into fists in excitement.
xXx
It turned out that one didn't just 'cure phobias'. Jack wished that was a real thing that could be done. But it just wasn't, and his day on the roof with Tooth turned out pretty terrible.
First, Tooth tried holding his hand as they stepped together from the roof. He compared this approach to the times he had seen parents teaching their kids to ride bikes without training wheels. This comforted him a bit. He was just learning to ride a bike. Again. Wait, didn't one one only have to learn to ride a bike once?
Tooth finally had him at the edge of the roof. She hovered a few inches away from it over open air. He was just about to put his own foot out into the empty space when he glanced down at the drop. His mind chose that moment to remind him that the parents always let go of their kids once they began pedaling.
With an intake of air so sharp it was almost a hiss, he jumped back from the edge. He cowered in a ball shape back on the solid roof, shaking all over.
"It-it's t-too high!" he said through chattering teeth.
"You were almost there! Just one more try." Tooth pleaded. He shook his head rapidly.
"Well, I guess we'll have to try something else, then." her shoulders drooped a bit. She had thought this would be easy.
After a moments thought, Tooth left him on the roof to fetch something from the workshop below. Jack stayed curled up, pulling his knees to his chest. He hadn't trusted her. She had said she wouldn't let go but he hadn't believed her and here he set, crippled by fear once again. Why couldn't he just have trusted her?
The wind flicked his hood back up against the back of his head playfully. It didn't understand why he ignored it so. Why couldn't he just trust the wind to carry him again?
"Because you let me down once. Why'd you let me fall? It really hurt." he mumbled, then, much quieter, "And they let me down once before, too. All of them, even Tooth. What if they do it again and it hurts just as bad as the first time?". He absently pulled the hood back up over his head. The wind stopped pushing him, feeling betrayed that he had ignored it once again.
Tooth reemerged, a strip of cloth covered in Christmas-themed items clutched in her fist. Jack guessed that it had been ripped from some table cloth or curtain inside. Tooth guessed why Jack's hood was back up. She pretended not to notice.
"Okay, now just tie this over your eyes and..." she began.
"What?! No, no way. I see where this is going, and it's not gonna happen." he stood quickly and took a defensive step back.
"Just do it! Maybe if you don't see how far down the ground is it won't be so bad!" she insisted.
"Ha ha, is that supposed to make me feel better because it really doesn't and I don't want that thing on my eyes Tooth don't you dare!" his voice became a bit hysterical as Tooth approached him, blindfold held out. She dived, tackling him to the ground. She somehow got the little strip across his eyes and tied in the back.
"No no no nononono!" he pleaded in desperation. She picked him up under one arm and was about to toss him off the roof. She knew he'd be fine, knew the wind would catch him. After all, he had his staff clutched in his hands in a death grip. But he didn't know that the wind would catch him. In fact, he seemed to be quite convinced that the opposite would happen. He clung to her like a terrified child. She noticed he was shaking. She felt like she was going to fall off the roof herself. This was not the Jack Frost she was used to.
"A-are you t-trying to k-k-kill me?" he asked, teeth rattling together once again. She sighed and put him back down. He scrambled to his feet and away from her, blindfold still intact over his eyes. He couldn't see the edge of the roof as he backed towards it. One of his feet fell on empty air. He yelped and jumped back to safety, curling into a ball once again.
"Jack, you're not going to fall! Just let the wind pick you up like always." she said.
"No!" he responded. She noted how childish he both sounded and looked.
"Why are you so afraid? You're not going to get hurt." she insisted.
"You don't know that!" he finally tore the blindfold from his face and glared at her.
"Oh! I've got it! We should look up some statistics on flight related injuries and deaths. I've heard they're actually really low even for normal humans." she smiled, believing she had found the answer. Who could dispute cold hard facts?
"NO! That's gonna make it way worse! I just wanna go back inside. Just let it go." he stood and pulled the hood back over his head yet again, stuffing his hands in the pocket on the front of his hoodie.
"We can't let it go. You have to fly again. It's the only way you can do your duties as a guardian." she fought back.
"Well, maybe I'm just a lousy guardian!" he whipped back around to face her, "Maybe I just can't have fun anymore and I don't deserve to be a guardian! I can't help anybody.".
"Why would you think that?" she asked, shocked.
"Because I'm scared. I'm scared the wind will let me down again. I'm scared that you guys will decide I'm too much trouble. I'm scared you won't want me around again and I'm scared I'll have to be alone again. I'm useless as a guardian if I can't even have fun. And why would you guys even bother with me if I can't be a guardian?" he felt little drops of water chill on his face and turn to ice. He turned away from Tooth and climbed down through the hatch door that led back to the workshop.
Tooth hovered above the roof, alone. The wind picked back up and tossed snow at her in anger. She had driven Jack back inside, and now the wind was angry because it just wanted its friend back. She wrapped her arms around her chest, but not from the cold. She felt an intense pain there, a sore spot caught in her throat. She felt a small tear squeeze its way over her bottom eyelid. She had failed him. Not just this time, but for so long before. She hadn't even known that there was someone out there that was so very alone. But she hadn't bothered to look, either. She had known he existed, but had never bothered to find out how he lived. To find out if he had a place he called home and people he called friends.
She waited until Jack had time to make it back to his guest room before she went back inside. She wouldn't force her company on him now. It didn't seem appropriate after having ignored him completely for hundreds of years.
xXx
Jack was sick and tired of laying in a puddle of his own self-pity. He had been curled up on the bed North had lent him for an hour or so. Night had fallen through the narrow arched window across the room. Tooth had not stopped by the whole time.
He wondered how bad he must have hurt her feelings. He had beaten himself up once or twice already in his mind for what he had said. Tooth was just trying to help, just trying to be there for him. It was more than he would dare ask of Bunny. Sure, Bunny would probably attempt to help. But it would come with a heaping spoonful of sarcasm and demeaning comments.
This made him smile to himself a bit, and he was able to dig out of the depression enough to sit up on the edge of the bed. Some of this sadness had to be related to his loss of believers. He could feel a few of them slipping away now, wondering why there was no snow day, even though the weather man had promised one. He didn't have many believers yet. Each and every one that forgot him hurt, pushing him further and further into hopelessness. And that, in turn made him more hopeless. How could he have fun flying when he felt so depressed because he was losing believers? How could he keep the kids believing if he couldn't do his job? And how could he do his job if he couldn't fly? The questions just chased each other in circles in his head and made him slightly dizzy. He growled in frustration.
His head eventually started hurting. Fed up, he jumped from the bed and flung the narrow window open, letting the wind in. It filled the room and brushed around him appreciatively. It's coolness eased the tension in his skull. Something in the corner of his eye ruffled when the wind touched it.
It was a paper snowflake, taped to the wall. He had forgotten about it. He had taped it there after his first immortal birthday party. North had said he could do whatever he wanted to do with this room, that it was his now if he wanted it to be. Jack had thought a paper snowflake would make a perfect decoration. Just the sight of the humble little thing usually made his heart leap.
He crossed the room and took it in hand. He ran his fingertips along the roughly cut edges. He waited for it to give him a paper cut, but it didn't, it being too kind to betray him in such a heartless manner. He reattached it to the wall and admired it. Then he noticed his cheeks were aching and realized he had been smiling the whole time. His face had forgotten what that much smiling felt like.
He closed his eyes, appreciating the soreness of his face and the smile that was stuck on it. The wind rushed around him, appreciating the smile also. With his eyes closed and the wind encircling him, it was almost like he was in the air again. No, it was almost like he was part of the air again. Like the calm and cold night sky, with it's frosty coating of clouds, had re-embraced him and he was back to being just as much a part of it as the wind itself. He swore that he couldn't even feel the floor beneath his feet anymore. And he wasn't scared. He loved the feeling once again.
Then he realized he really couldn't feel the floor beneath his feet anymore. He was lounging on the wind, which was doing it's level best to keep him afloat without shaking him about too much. His staff was only held loosely in the crook of his elbow. He wasn't sure if he even really needed it to stay in the air now.
He dropped back down onto soft carpet. The air still swirled about, keeping him in his trance. He walked to the window and leaned out, practically dying to be back in the night sky.
"Jack?" a voice called behind him. He turned and Tooth was standing in the door, worry and relief fighting for control of her expression.
"It's okay, I'm not scared right now." he replied, rather simply. He hopped onto the sill and let the wind pull him out the rest of the way.
Tooth smiled and leaned on the door frame. 'I'm not lonely right now.'. She knew that that would have been what he would have said next, had he not been so desperate to get back out in the air. She saw something white fluttering on one of the walls. Another look revealed it to be one of the paper snowflakes from Jack's birthday party.
So maybe the wind had let him down once. Maybe she and the others had let him down a lot of times. They were doing everything they could to fix it right now, and he was doing everything he could to be okay with it.
xXx
The next morning was known as Snowpocalypse to many adults, newscasters, and people on the Internet who thought themselves particularly witty. Most children just called it the best day ever.
Snow days shut down school across the northern hemisphere, despite it being September. But there was almost no other damage. The storms were mysteriously good at coating roadways and little else. School busses and various other means of transportation were completely shut down, but airport runways were mysteriously barely touched. Trees limbs and power lines and roofs all looked as if they had been brushed clean of the extra snow weight. Most people couldn't make it to work, but then again, many parents got to stay home and play in the snow with their children. And the air was just barely cold enough for the snow to stick for the rest of the day. No one would suffer unduly from the chill.
Jack came back to Burgess, exhausted. He smiled down at the fake Saturday he had enforced on the world below. Then he drifted back to his pond, brushed together a nice little pile of snow for himself, and collapsed into it.
He wished he could go play with the kids. Maybe he would that evening. Right now he needed a break, though. He had worked anywhere where it could possibly snow without sending the world into too much of a frenzy. He had brushed clean every runway, power line, tree branch, and roof. He had meticulously adjusted the temperature to be just cold enough. No one was gonna get hurt today if he could help it. This was his day to make up for having neglected the kids who depended on him.
He knew he that you couldn't whiteout something bad you had done with a little snow. He knew he couldn't completely make up for having ignored the children. But he was trying, and he had a feeling that at least a few of them knew that.
Thank you for reading! All reviews are loved deeply for 50 golden years, after which time I divorce them and use all my money to attract a young golddigger (guys I don't even know what this is about anymore I'm so sorry).
