Carlos POV " Dude, are you even listening." Kendall says. Shooken out of my thoughts realizing where I was, I say," huh, oh yeah." "Are you ok? You been zoning out a lot now." Logan said.
"Oh yeah totally. Just thinking if its possible to jump the football field with my rockets." I say thinking of an exuse. "So is our game still on after school?" I say changing the subject before they asked more questions "No, got to do something." James said. "Uh, sorry I got a project for biology due soon." Of course the brainiac Logan said. "Sorry, I have to babysit Katie today." Says Kendall.
Oh great. Their ditching me.
"That's all right." I say, "I need to work on some late assignments anyway.
RINGGGGGG There's the bell. "See you whenever." I say. "See you." they say back.
My house is at least a 10 min walk from school. As I'm walking I'm thinking about what's going to happen. I'm dreading going home, if I should even call it that. I felt the sleeves of my shirt go up. I push them down hoping no one is watching.
Snapping back to reality I look to see where I was. Ugh. I see my house right around the corner. As I get closer, I'm begging and praying no one is home.
I get up to the steps and brace myself for what's about to happen.
I open the door and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I see my dad passed out on the couch. My guess is that he was drinking again.
I look around and see the coast is clear. I decide If I'm quiet enough, I can get to my room without my dad waking up.
While I'm heading up I hear a loud voice. " HOLD IT RIGHT THERE." Startled I let out a high pitched scream and turn around. As I was doing so, I tripped falling on my moms favorite vase. I get up and looked at who yelled at me. Standing right in front of me was my mom. I had completely forgot she gets home early now.
She looked extremely pissed off at me now.
"COME HERE, NOW!" She yells. I obey not wanting to get her any morw mad.
Then she pushes me down and slams her fist on my head. "How dare you break my vase you worthless piece of shit." She kept cursing me and beating the shit out of me.
Finally when I thought it was over, my dad wakes up.
"Honey, what did the bitch do this time." He says. "He broke my vase in purpose." I tried to say I didn't mean to but all I got in return was a kick in the face.
"When are you ever going to learn you pathetic piece of shit." My dad says.
I then got another beating that I'm surprised I'm still alive from.
Finally it was over.
They went to bed while I waited a few before I got up and headed to my bedroom.
I went to my bathroom and stood in front of my mirror.
Look at how pathetic I look.
I'm so stupid.
All these words that describe me were going through my head. Stupid, fat,ugly, worthless, dipwad, bitch, retard, and way more. I needed to release my pain. I got out my trusty razor.
I cut 5 beautiful lines on my upper arm.
All my pain was flowing out of me like a river.
After I cleaned it up, I got ready for bed.
A thought was going through my head.
It's never going to get better. I cried my self to sleep like I do every night.
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush nor will I ever.
(A.N.) here is the actual first chapter. Carlos is getting abused and is self-harming.
Is life ever going to get better for him? We'll see.
By the way it is really hard for me to type this up. I'm am doing this on my phone. So sorry if I make any mistakes in grammar or spelling. And it might take me longer to update this
Review please. Ill give you a big hug if you do:) byesbyes :)
-Wildcat12
