All I've ever needed - Lost chapter: two and one half

Not sleeping became a sudden ritual, either it was too windy and the trees made scary noises or the wolves were mournfully howling, I couldn't sleep. Against better judgment, I got myself up out of bed and walked down the stairs into the kitchen. I forgot to put on pajama bottoms before I went to bed, and so I was walking about the house in my underwear and a loose shirt. Mother would be disappointed. I let out a breath of air and walked my way over to the fridge; mom finally went shopping and got me chocolate milk. I groaned with pleasure as I poured some into a cup and downed the liquid.

I stood next to the counter and let the pleasure of the chocolate dairy product set in my system. Closing my eyes I hummed a soft tune and started to sway my hips, left, right, left, right. "Baby, you're all…" I hummed some more, "baby you're all I need." I smiled and threw my arms above my head, crossing them; I moved my hips a little faster and put my feet into it. The tempo in my head went up, "I love you more than I need… I could ever love someone," my voice broke off and I stopped. My face fell and the memories blinded my vision before I even knew they were coming.

It was late, midnight, maybe, and everyone in the house was asleep. I was maybe six, seven? Ten, tops. I couldn't sleep because I had a big project at school coming up and I was scared of messing it up. I practiced all night and it occupied my mind so much I couldn't dream. I heard noises from the living room, there was a soft song playing and clinks of glasses, and curiosity got the best of me. I followed the noises and found my sad sitting alone at the dining table listening to a soft song downing a glass of Jack. He looked like he just got off of work by the look on his face. His bushy eyebrows were furrowed, his hand never letting go of the alcohol, and his hair was spiking in all directions from his free hand running through it so many times. He was in his pajama's bottoms—his famous dice pants he supposedly got from Las Vegas. "Daddy?" I peeped asked after watching him stare at the table for some time. His head shot up and all the stress had left his face and was replaced with concern.

"What's the matter, baby?" He stood up, his towering 6'' frame over my four foot or smaller one. He picked me up under my armpits and sat me on the chair closest to him. He pushed his alcohol away and smiled down at me. I didn't respond because there was a lot that was "the matter," school, my twin brothers decided to go to war together in just a year, Alex moved out of the state and I wouldn't see her ever again. Even at a young age I had too much on my mind. Dad sighed and his alcohol breath swam towards my face—it was strong and dirty. The radio on the book shelf behind us clicked and the song changed and something in dad's eyes altered. The pupils tilted up and they widened, he smiled, sending his cheek bones up. "This is my favorite song, baby girl." He stood up and held his hand out to me, "care to dance?" I giggled and nodded my head, taking is hand he lifted me up above his feet and started to move in the shape of a box. A few beats later he started to sing, his baritone voice whispering softly was beautiful, and I couldn't help but watch him sing. "Every promise I made, has lead us up to this day…. please, remember my love, when you've forgotten your way," it was at this part I hummed the slow tune that picked up just a few notches. "Baby, you're all… baby, you're all… baby, you're all I've ever needed…" We stayed like that for the rest of the song, and then he carried me off to bed and stayed with me until I fell asleep.

I felt myself slip down onto the floor, my hand covering my mouth to hold in the sobs that would escape my chest from holding in my breath. I moaned in agony, the tears in my eyes fell down rapidly, no longer a stream down my face but droplets onto my legs. I let out a choke of air and made a whispering scream into my knees. I held myself tightly, and didn't let go. My heart felt like it was being squeezed by another, tighter and tighter, and my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. I started to choke on my breath and I slid my side onto the cold, wooden floor so it was like I was sleeping on my bed. I let the water forming in my eyes cloud my vision until I couldn't see anything, and eventually, I cried myself to sleep on the floor.


xxx


"Damn, Paul. You couldn't even let the girl be in this town one day before fucking it all up for her, could you? You just take your claws out," the woman sitting next to him brought out her hand and curled her fingers into claws, "and grab," she closed her hand into a fist and laughed. Her head fell backwards and her feminine laughter mingled with masculine laughs in the air.

"Hu, hu, hu, that's funny." Paul growled as he shoved Emily's garlic bread into his mouth, the butter overpowered the garlic and soaked the bread—it was delicious.

"Oh, Kim, please! Stop tormenting Paul, its lovely he's found The One. Now he won't waste money on dates," Emily walked over and slapped Kim on the back of the head with her cooking mitten. Emily clicked her heels and walked over to Paul to scruff his hair and sit on his lap, "don't you feel better, Paul?" The left side of her face stayed motionless while the right giggled and smiled up at him. Her light brown eyes glowed with green freckles by the iris that were always happy, Sam was lucky and had a right to be thrilled when Emily was around.

"No?" Paul questioned and lifted the petite older woman off his lap. Paul didn't want to imprint in his life, he was happy the way he was running his life now. He could leave when he wanted without telling anyone, he didn't have to worry about anyone if he passed away, and he didn't have to constantly worry about losing someone he loved. Because loving people was not in Paul's vocabulary. Paul was more of an emotionless fling type of guy when it came to women, and everybody knew that.

"Oh, come on, Paul. You know you want her, God, is she pretty? What does she look like, tell me, Paul, tell me." Kim whined and drawled on the 'e' in "me."

"Jesus Christ," Paul rolled his eyes and put his head in his hands. He thought about the girl whom he imprinted on and the more he thought about it the more he liked it. Her brown hair, worn and up, her lips small and perfect, they looked soft and like a cloud, minus a few chapped part that could have been fixed with chap stick. The way her eyes gave her every emotion, her beautiful eyes, brown with little blue on the edge. She was beautiful and didn't deserve Paul. Paul brought himself out of his mind and sharpened his eyes at the laughing Kim almost falling out of her seat, "find her yourself and see what she looks like." Paul growled unknowingly and received a punch from his Pack brother, Jared. "She's not even near my age, she's like a baby," He looked around and Quil was nowhere to be found, he thanked the heavens. He didn't want to get in a fight today.

"Oh, I will. Stop being a pussy, Paul! Tell us how you really feel," Kim placed her feet on the floor and leaned in closer to the brute.

"Damn, Kim, fuck off." Paul stood up and let Jared, Kim, and Emily continue to laugh their asses off. He went over to Emily and placed his dirty plate in the sink. The screen door slammed shut and the newest one walked in, shaking and angry. Paul put Emily behind him, "you can't be in here in that condition," he heard Jared say as he pushed Kim out the room.

"He's dead. My best friend is dead for less than twenty-four hour! Our pack brother is dead and you all are laughing like nothing happened!" Colin looked at Paul and Jared, his head snapping back and forth, his nostrils flared as he breathed heavily and his hands started to rapidly shake. His red-brown fur was poking out of his skin and Paul took action. Pushing Emily as far back as he could he jumped over the counter and wrapped his arms around the sad boy, pushing the broken door open he threw Colin out just in time for him to have phased. Paul thought about the thing that angered him most and jumped off the step, midair his clothes shredded and he phased. He snarled his teeth and growled, threating Colin and telling him to leave—it was an order. The wolfboy stayed put for longer than needed and decided with good judgment to leave back into the forest. Paul decided Sam out deal with him later.

Looking back inside the house, Paul watched Jared give him a nod and the angered man did the same before running off into the woods and to his little house to get a well-deserved nap.


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