(Belated) Disclaimer: I own neither Yu Yu Hakusho nor Inuyasha. All songs/lyrics belong to Queen.
Part 3: It's a Kind of Magic
One dream, one soul, one prize, one goal.
One golden glance of what should be.
One flash of light that shows the way,
No mortal man can win this day.
The bell that rings inside your mind,
It's challenging the doors of time.
The waiting seems eternity, yeah,
The day will dawn of sanity.
Is this a kind of magic?
Though Japan did not claim the highest seat in secular power, it had been the seat of spiritual power for the last century, and it showed in all facets of life on the islands, but most spectacularly at the Sun and Moon Shrine, where the Anchor lived and ruled. The shrine grounds were a grand affair, comprised of twenty-one buildings and standing just below the treeline. Throughout the grounds there were gardens, both wild and tame, separated by trees, waterways, and buildings. There were dorms and grand suites for the permanent staff, miko in training (a cement monstrosity built for their safety and sanity) and visitors—traveling miko, visiting dignitaries and the occasional wanderer who sought a safe shelter for a night or two. In addition, there were buildings set aside for administration, household duties and chores, and, lastly, entertainment.
Though it was the audience chamber, and Kagome had seen it packed quite often in her time with her mentor, the vastness of the space made it seem like the few people in the room—her, Sesshoumaru at her back, Kikyou and Inuyasha above her to the side, and a line of men and attendants before them—seem small, like ants marching across a fallen magnolia leaf.
As she had for all previous gatherings, Kagome used Sesshoumaru as her anchor to gather her strength—less now than ever, her tie to him was fraying fast—and rose as gracefully as she could from the dais beside Kikyo and walked over to the line of youkai that would inevitably form under Kikyou's guidance. Once upon a time, her suitors would fill the hall, dressed in finery, with hope—or, on occasion, greed—in their eyes, and they would look away and turn away in acceptance when she met their eyes, and then continued on, the light and hope within her dying slowly, as her body did.
This bunch was significantly smaller, some gathered by Kikyou's outer guard, others out of duty to their native lands—after all, for all that most had deigned it was hopeless to unite lands with Kagome, as none had been able to bond with her after all these years, some still carried hope, or desperation—and there were just a couple with glimmers of hope in their eyes.
Kagome imagined that these youkai, though this was their first time before her, were just as bored as herself with the proceedings, as she walked down the line, looking into each of their eyes, hearing no sighs behind her, but seeing shrugs just within her vision. But she did wonder if the downcast gait of those who had come out of duty, out of hope, was due to them not being successful, or due to thoughts of what the world might become—how the world might be undone—should she not be able to bond.
Her eyes leaving the those of the last youkai in line, she turned away from them to Kikyou, who sat upon the dais, Inuyasha, her mate, beside her, Kikyou with a blank look that hid all emotions—all of which she knew would boil down to frustration—and Inuyasha with a grim set to his mouth. Already touching, he squeezed his mate's hand.
There again was the guilt, the depression, the regret, bubbling up from her core.
"Kikyou—"
"The next group will arrive tomorrow morning," she said, businesslike as ever.
"Kikyou."
"I advise you stay here for the night, rather than sneaking out to visit your family, so that we can discuss—"
Before she could finish whatever she was saying in that too-polite, even tone, Kagome fled out the sliding doors to the veranda, using the railing to stop her momentum and leaning over it as she dry-heaved.
The pressure, the frustration, the constant drain. Her body ached, and felt so heavy, like the planet's gravity was increasing and she was trying to walk up an endless flight of stairs. Gazing at the ancient oak perched on the northwest corner of the complex, she wondered, it was only a matter of time anyways, what if—
"Kagome," Kikyou called angrily from behind her. "You can't just leave like that. You are my heir, there are rules, decorum. What kind of leader will you be if you just storm out like a teenager whenever things get difficult?"
She turned to Kikyou, keeping one hand on the railing to steady herself. "Kikyou," she rasped out, "I can't do this anymore."
Kikyou's gaze sharpened. "You can, and you will. You will do your duty to me, to our people, and to the Mother."
"Please, just let me try to fix this—"
"I knew I should never have indulged your childish notions."
"How is the desire to be happy and in love childish? You and Inuyasha—"
"Forget Inuyasha and me, Kagome. Plenty of miko have, are, and will find contentedness even without the natural bond, there's no reason you, despite your power, would be any different."
"What, you're saying that you'll force the bond between Sesshoumaru and I?"
"No, Kagome, we both know the chances of both of you surviving the process are too low to even bother at this point. What I'm saying is that I should have forced you to bond years ago!"
"You can't mean that!"
Kikyou closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath, opening her usual blank eyes to her heir. "Kagome, how long have I been an Anchor?"
Startled by the sudden change of demeanor, of topic, automatically replied, "Forty-five years."
"And how old are you?"
"Twenty-four."
Kikyou raised her hands to Kagome's shoulders, not threatening, but firm. She endeavored to look Kagome in the eye, but was not able to meet them, as Kagome kept her eyes steadily and stubbornly just an inch to the right of Kikyou's head, looking past her to the skyscrapers jutting out of the treeline. "Twenty-one years. Twenty-one years, Kagome, since I ascended, relieved my mentor from her duties. Twenty-one years it took me to find my own heir, the one that will prevent me from being devoured by the Mother. You keep saying that it would be so much better for all that you pass on, are reincarnated, better luck next time. But it took me twenty-one years to find you, Kagome."
Kagome had heard this all before, the argument that had been said and rephrased so many times in the past, but the note of desperation in Kikyou's voice made her eyes waver. And in that moment, in that briefest second, she saw black against grey, and white just above a pair of carmine eyes. She felt the whisper, as if imagined, of his youki brushing against her tenki. She tried to call out, to do anything, but it felt as though her heart, her lungs, everything had frozen in that moment in a white hot fire.
And just on the edges of her perception, Kikyou carried on. "The Anchor dies slowly, Kagome, much more slowly than an unbound miko, but I assure you, if I remain the Anchor, so closely tied to the mother, I won't live another twenty-one years to find you again. How long do you suppose our sisters and brothers can hold the world together in our absence, if they will even be able to find either one of us again?"
"Kikyou…" she whispered, barely able to conjure her voice.
Her mentor continued firmly, passionately. "We cannot afford to allow this earth to fall to ruin again; neither human nor youkai would survive intact. I lacked the hardened heart that would have allowed me to force a bond on you, protected our futures, years—months!—ago, and now, all we have left is to hope for the natural bond that you idolize to form. I may have lacked the ruthlessness years ago, but I will not lose hope, and I will not allow the world to end, and if it takes me parading youkai in front of you every day until your soul departs your body, then so be it!"
"Kikyou!"
"What?" she yelled.
Kagome lifted one shaking arm, pointing at something a distance behind Kikyou. "It's him!"
