Dear Anna,
Thankyou for bringing your mother to meet me today. And, as always, thankyou so much for coming to see me yourself. You always brighten my day, and, indeed, my entire week.
I can now see where you get your stoicism, your strength of personality and your fundamentally non-judgemental nature from. I liked your mother very much. You do it all better than she does, though, obviously. You are perfect in every way, and I cannot wait to see you again.
By the time you get this, you will already be back at Downton. I hope you enjoyed your time with your family and that you will not delay going to visit them ever again. Was that on my account? If it was, I am truly sorry.
Please thank your mother for being so kind to me. I know I do not deserve it, particularly considering what I am putting her daughter through. I was pleasantly surprised by her stoicism, and I am very grateful for her consideration.
I can't wait to see you again, my love, and I remain
Yours always,
John Bates
John put his pen down on the desk, and leaned back in his chair, stretching.
"Lights out!" boomed a voice from along the corridor, and there came the sound of many prisoners preparing for bed.
John blew out his candle, grabbed his photo of Anna from the desk, and lay down.
...
The tears flowed freely, as they did all too often these days. Anna could hear her parents arguing in the kitchen. Walking away from it, her eyes fell upon the big house. Light shone from the kitchen window, and she heard a loud giggle as her brother's silhouette wrapped around the silhouette of his wife. Anna's eyes darkened. She was angry, sure, but not at them. Of them, she was only jealous.
A raised voice came from the house behind her. "Well I'm going to go and see if she's alright, if you're quite finished!"
She heard the back door open and footsteps in the yard. "Anna?" came her mother's voice.
Anna was silent, but didn't move away as the footsteps approached her.
"There you are!"
Anna kept her eyes on the silhouettes of her brother and sister-in-law. She felt her mother's arm slip around her shoulders.
"I'm sorry about him. He was never very tactful."
"Do you agree with him?"
"Honestly? No. But it is really bothering him and he needed to get it out. He's been grumpy for days."
A sob escaped Anna's throat. And then another.
Ida pulled her closer. "I'm sorry, love. I should have stopped him before he..."
Anna sobbed harder.
"That last thing he said, that's not going to happen. I can see that John's a nice man, and I'm sure the jury will too. It'll be alright."
...
Anna barely slept that night. Being in a foreign bed, a foreign room, didn't help. She realised that this place didn't feel like home anymore. Familiar, yes. But not home. The prison felt more like home than here. Because that's where John was.
She just wanted to go home. This wasn't home anymore. She'd had a nice time initially, but she wasn't now, so why did she have to stay longer? She didn't, she realised. She didn't have to stay longer. She didn't have to go to the river, or do anything else here. She could spend her last day off with John instead.
That was a good idea. She'd go to the family breakfast, and then leave. That was the best thing to do. There was a silver lining inside every cloud – this one would mean more time with John.
Satisfied with her decision, Anna finally went to sleep.
...
"Hey! Hello!" John beamed. "Two visits in two days! How lucky am I?"
Anna only smiled.
"I thought you were spending another day at the farm?"
"I was going to, but I changed my mind. There's somewhere I'd rather spend my last day off."
John looked around. "Here? Are you joking?"
"Yes. Here."
"Well, I feel very privileged that you've come to visit me at my humble abode."
Anna's eyes twinkled.
"Don't prioritise me over your family, though."
"Why shouldn't I?"
"Well, you don't see them very often."
Anna sighed. "Two days was enough, believe me."
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing I'd care to discuss."
"Anna."
Her foot had begun jiggling nervously. John stroked it with his own. "Tell me," he said.
Anna wrinkled her nose. "Had a row with my dad."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"Was it…was it about me?"
"Yes, but that doesn't make it your fault."
"What did he say?"
Anna looked down, fidgeting with her fingernails. "That I should divorce you."
"You can if you want."
"WHAT?"
"No, I know you don't want, I just want you to know that I would release you."
"Look, I've heard enough of this last night, will you stop it?"
"OK." John smiled. He looked at her. She looked ragged. His insides seized with guilt. "You should bring your dad to see me," he said.
"Goodness, no. I wouldn't put you through that."
"I don't mind. I can understand how he feels."
"Can you? I can't."
"He loves you. He doesn't want you to be hurt."
"So he's prescribing the thing that would hurt me the most?"
"I didn't say he understands you."
"Mmm."
"I think I could have a productive conversation with him – I know where he's coming from. If I was your father, I wouldn't want you to have anything to do with a man like me."
"How is that a productive line of thought? I wish I'd never told them about you."
"Hey, now. They're your family and they love you."
"Can we stop talking about it please? I want to enjoy my day with you."
"Alright. But if I can help with this, please let me."
"You can't, but thankyou."
"I'm sorry."
...
"Oh, her ladyship returns, about time," sneered the scowling lady's maid as Anna returned to the servant's hall that evening.
"I missed you too, Miss O'Brien," replied Anna, determined to give as good as she got.
Lady Mary's bell rang.
"That's yours, then," sneered Miss O'Brien.
"With pleasure," Anna smiled.
...
"Anna! Good. I missed you."
"Thankyou, my lady. I'm very sorry to have lumbered you with Miss O'Brien."
"That's alright, it couldn't be helped. Did you have a nice time?"
"It was alright."
Lady Mary's plastered-on smile faltered for a moment. "Oh?"
"You know families."
"Oh, yes." Lady Mary nodded enthusiastically. "I do."
The two didn't speak much more as Anna set about getting Lady Mary ready for bed. Anna became lost in her thoughts again, and she didn't need to say anything more as she quietly went about her work.
When she was done, she said the customary, "Will that be all, my lady?"
There was no response, as Lady Mary stared into the mirror, absent-mindedly fiddling with a stray strand of hair. Anna had to repeat herself before she got a response.
"Oh! Sorry. Yes, that'll be all, thankyou Anna."
"Are you alright, my lady?"
Lady Mary nodded. "Perfectly. And you?"
Anna nodded too. Perfectly.
