Chapter Four
Dean stumbles through the bush for a good half hour before he pulls out his cell to call Fran. He's drunk with the feeling of being free that came from being able to run, walk or even just stretch out his arm without being held back by walls or doors. There wasn't much time to waste on that sort of thing though so the moment he crossed the closest thing to a road he could find (a rutted, packed dirt back road used by local kids and tractors) he placed the call.
"Well hey there trouble. How'd it go?" It was Sam's phone, since Dean's had been confiscated so she was expecting someone else's voice on the other end of the line.
"Hey now, if it's trouble you're looking for I hardly think Sam's the right brother to be dealing with." Her breath caught loudly enough to make it obvious he'd caught her off guard. In that freaky way women have she just knew.
"What happened? Where is he? Is he going to be alright?" Questions fired off in rapid succession so that he felt like he was dodging bullets again. For the barest hint of a second he thought of those times when it had been just he and Sam with no one but each other to share bad news and disappointment. Somehow it had been easier then, shouldering it together with no one else to hurt in the process. No help for it now.
"Henricksen, the FBI guy who's got it out for us, he started shooting at us as we were running from the building to the car. Sam took a bullet through the shoulder. Should have been me. I should have been bringing up the rear, but he kept shoving me ahead of him and… well, it doesn't matter now. What's done is done." There'd be time enough to wallow in all that guilt and self pity later, when he put the whole damned country behind him.
"Oh my God. Is he? Tell me he's okay Dean." Right. He never had been the good one at this. Delivering bad news tactfully had always been Sam's specialty.
"Yeah, he's gonna be fine. Cal took him to see this ER doctor who owes her a favor. I got the impression he's done patch work like this for her before. She'll be driving him back home before the day's out." Hopefully he'd already be gone by then. Would be nice to avoid the messy arguing that would be involved in leaving her behind.
"Oh my God. Good. Oh thank God. Alright. How about you, where are you? Are you okay?" Sam would have filled her in on the blow to the head he'd been dealing with since the initial arrest. It was still so weird to have someone out there care enough to ask the simple stuff like that.
"Yeah. I'm good. I mean, I'm worried. That's unavoidable. Who the hell knows how this is all going to play out, right? But I'm not hurt and honestly it just feels really great to be out of there, you know?" His skin had been crawling with the need to be able to fend for himself while he'd been stuck in that room. Once the headache had begun to fade there had been very little to do in there and Dean was not the 'sit and wait' sort of guy.
"Honey, we're just glad you're out of there. Where are you? I'll send someone out to pick you up. Better bring your appetite too, the kids have been up for hours making breakfast. You'd think today was Christmas they're so excited to see you again." She laughed then, a light happy sound that conjured up thoughts of sunlit summer days and wide open fields. It would be good to be back there in the arms of their family even if it was just for an hour or two before leaving again.
"Uh, I'm not really sure where I am. Cal pulled over and let me out on the shoulder of the Queensway, heading in to the city. I'm on a dirt road about a half hour walk from there. Sorry, but that's the best I can do." They'd been around long enough to get to know major roads and general areas in that part of the province, but not long enough to know the back roads by name.
"Alright, don't worry. I'll give the girl a call and get a better idea of where you ended up. You just sit tight and try to stay out of sight. Someone'll be there real soon to get you."
Yeah. Sit tight. He was getting pretty good at that. Good thing there wouldn't be too much more of that.
Turned out he wasn't waiting more than fifteen minutes. Fran sent Maggie around to pick him up and take him home. They rode in silence, which wasn't all that odd. She never really said much around him, not because she was too shy or scared to. Maggie didn't natter on because she didn't have to. She could just be herself and he wouldn't think twice about just accepting her the way she was. Dean, for his part, didn't say anything because it was easier to hunker down in the passenger seat and keep watch in case they were followed than have the conversation he should have been starting about the fact he planned to leave.
By the time the pulled into the long drive to Cal's farmhouse he had already reverted back to the Dean of old. The one with the walls and the complicated inner dialog filled with regret, angst and self loathing. He charged through the screen door intent on running up to Cal's room, grabbing whatever he could see that was his, tossing it all into a bag and retreating back to the bunker in the barn where the feds wouldn't be able to find him.
The sight of a table set for six, the center of which held everything from eggs and flap jacks to coffee and juice, stopped him in his tracks. He loved the sentiment; would have given his left arm to be able to sit down with everyone and enjoy a noisy, bustling meal with these wonderful people. But he couldn't. Not only because he couldn't afford to invest any more of himself in a family he now realized he couldn't keep, but also because it would be careless and dangerous for him to do so.
Fran had him wrapped in a hug, Jason clinging to his side and it was all he could do to mumble into her neck. "I can't Fran. I'm sorry, I just can't. This is the first place they're going to come looking. I can't be sitting here with you guys when they do." His eyes had gone wide, his cheeks flushed bright red with the effort not to give in to the emotions that wanted to spill right out of him.
"I know Dean, I know. We warned the kids. Do what you have to, we'll make you a plate to take out to the barn with you." But it didn't do much to make Dean feel better or ease the conflict that was building within. He was letting the kids down, would be doing worse later just to keep them safe.
Maggie didn't hug him like Fran or cry with the relief of seeing him safe like Jason had. She had a tougher outer shell than that. Mags was practical. She walked over to the coffee maker and poured him a mug of caffeine then placed it right into his hands the moment they were free of well meaning folk. There was too much respect between them for her to push herself on him in some emotional display of affection. Not that he didn't want her to do the emo-kid thing. A little normal wouldn't hurt her right now after everything she'd been through. But it was exactly what she'd suffered that had her keeping her distance.
Fran kept Jason occupied by tasking him with filling a plate with food. Dean didn't wait around in the kitchen at all. In fact, he would have run up the stairs if it weren't for the full cup of hot coffee in his hand and the fear that he'd spill it and leave a mess they'd have to clean up after him. Maggie followed him up and helped him pack. She went straight for the dresser and pulled one open while he threw his empty rucksacks on the bed. They worked in silence, she handing him t-shirts and socks that he stashed in one of the bags with the speed and efficiency of someone who'd spent all their lives living out of luggage of some sort or another. Then, when she pulled open the drawer with his boxer briefs in it she moved to the closet.
How long had it taken him to stop fighting himself so that he could settle in and enjoy this little bit of comfortable he had with Cal? Weeks, months, probably more than that. Five minutes and two sets of hands was all it took to erase every indication he'd ever held a place in this home. He had to assume that Sam and Cal had stashed his hunting gear back into the Impala's trunk while he'd been in jail, because it wasn't anywhere in the house. Once the clothes were packed there was just the tape deck. He toyed with the thought of leaving it behind but decided to toss it in the bag too. He'd need something to drown out the quiet when he was alone in the motel rooms along the way.
"I'll go let Franny know we're heading over to her house to pack up some of Sam's stuff." Now the truth could be heard in Maggie's voice. The reason she'd been so quiet apparent in the resolved calm she spoke with. She knew. She knew he was leaving them and was assuming Sam would follow because so far he and Dean had been a package deal.
"Don't bother Mags." He couldn't be the reason Sam walked away from all of this. He wouldn't be. "Just ask her if Sam or Cal've called yet. I need to know what's going on with the car." She shot him a puzzled sort of sideways look as she left the room, not quite sure what to make of this turn of events. Well, she'd figure it out soon enough, or maybe Fran would explain it to her. Either way she was better off without him.
There had been a promise made. He was directly responsible for the wellbeing of those two kids. They wouldn't be well if he stayed and they wouldn't be okay if Sam left. Casey would just have to live with the fact that this was the best way for him to fulfill his duty to the kids. Maybe it would help for Casey to know that this would be the hardest damned thing he'd ever done and that it would tear him apart just to do it. Maybe not. Only time would tell.
Working in a bar suited Fran for the simple reason that she was loud. Her words carried easily up the stairs and across the house in answer to Maggie's questions from Dean. "They called just before Maggie pulled up. Sam's fine but the doc wants him to rest a bit at the hospital. He's hooked up to an i.v. so they're thinking two and a half, maybe three hours before they can leave." Maggie was back upstairs, standing silently in the doorway when Dean let out the curse he couldn't hold back. His car was at the hospital. On the one hand, it was great news that he'd be able to sneak away the way Cal was famous for. Sam and Cal wouldn't be any wiser for it until he was long gone and then it would be too late to follow. On the other hand, there was the matter of the Impala. He'd have to head into town to get it or put someone at risk by asking them to drive it out of town for him.
"The doc doesn't want Cal and Sam leaving in your car. Says it would make the job he's done redundant if Sam's stitches popped out while he was getting arrested. She's got the keys to his sedan and he's offered to drive your car out to Bobby's for you. They figure he can hide the Impala better at the yard and it would be easier to hide you out here if the glaring obviousness of that car of yours wasn't sitting in the yard. He'll leave when Cal and Sam head home."
Wow. Well that solved his problem didn't it? Damned if the finality of it all didn't floor him. Not much left to do now but load up a vehicle and go. It would have to be something that wouldn't call too much attention, so not the Mustang, especially since he'd be ditching it and crossing the border on foot. Couldn't very well go through border patrol when the FBI had you on the high alert list. So maybe the old pickup in the barn? Yeah. That would probably be best. Easy to hide, hard to find and no one would be the wiser if it went missing and suddenly turned up again. Okay. That was enough of a plan for him.
The young girl watched him change the plates on the beat-up old farm truck and load most of the stuff she'd helped him pack into the back. She seems unsurprised, as if she'd watched him do it a thousand times before. Him and plenty of others before.
"You're not coming back, are you?"
Damn! How the hell did the kid manage to read his mind like that? The hope he'd been harboring was that he'd be able to tide her over awhile by pretending like everything would be okay. It was the cowards way out and it made him no better than any of the other folks who'd left her throughout her life. Probably best that she see right through him now, before he follow through on that mistake.
"Mags." He sighed wearily, this was a conversation he wished didn't have to happen. "I've gotta go. It's the only way to keep you guys safe. There's just no way I'm going to stick around here and risk getting everybody tossed in jail if they catch me anywhere near here. They'd send you and Jace back into foster care. I can't take all this away from you like that." But this won't be the same without you here was the sentiment he felt rolling off of her. What she said instead was "But eventually you'll have to come back though, right? When all this gets worked out?"
Yeah. Sure. 'All this' like the record he had with the FBI, the file about two feet thick sitting on some desk in some office somewhere painting him out to be some psychotic serial killer. Or the credit card fraud that they'd pinned on him, rightfully, along their long road of evidence gathering against his character. Sure. Those were easy to take care of, right? He'd just walk in to one of their offices and explain everything about the hunting. It would all be some funny misunderstanding that they would laugh off. His record would be expunged and he'd be free to go back to life as he knew it. How did you explain the impossible to a sixteen year old girl who had already lost so much?
So difficult to hold back the feeling of defeat, knowing damned well it probably wouldn't get worked out without a lot of time behind bars. From where Dean stood it was pretty obvious that he was back to life on the run and off the grid, only this time he'd be more alone than he'd ever been. There just wasn't any way he could come back. This life was lost to him forever.
He didn't lie to her; just couldn't do it. Not when he'd promised he never would, even if it would have been the kinder thing to do.
"If we can ever get this worked out. If we find a way to sort this all out I'm definitely coming home. You've got to know though Maggie if is looking pretty impossible right now. I'm pretty damned sure if isn't ever going to happen." He hadn't wanted to tell her because he didn't have it in him to disappoint her. Nothing he said could tear the glimmer of hope from her eyes. Too many folk had made a sport out of that before and her faith in him was that strong. Great, so this would be the hurt that kept on hurting. As if he could feel any worse about it.
Hugging her close, he wondered why in the hell he'd been gifted with the closest thing to kids of his own he'd ever come to only to have them ripped away so quickly. "You watch out for that kid brother of yours. Don't give Sam and Franny too hard a time and leave your past behind you. You'll be fine. You'll see." Brave face firmly pasted on in the form of his most charming (if more than a little skillfully faked) he pulled away and he sent Maggie back into the house. Another smile and a quick wave to the faces in the window before heading to Bobby's. He needed his car, it was all he had left of home.
Sam and Cal got back a few hours later, a little worse for wear, to find Dean gone. The signs were easy to spot. Jason was quiet and moody, Maggie was nowhere to be found and Fran was puttering to keep busy. They were barely through the door and Sam was dialing the familiar number with the hand that wasn't numb. To Dean's credit, he picked up right away. Not that Sam was feeling up to giving him credit, the way he just up and ran like that. "Where the hell are you man? What happened?" What the hell was going through his brother's head that he figured running away would help things?
"Cops showed up. I hid until they left but it was safer to…" Sam knew a line when he was being fed one. Dean was a damned good liar, but he'd never been able to put one past his brother. They knew each other far too well for that.
"Cut the bullshit Dean. You would've called if the cops had showed." There was a pressure building right at Sam's temples, probably because he knew that getting anything out of Dean over the phone like this was going to be next to impossible. He'd have to find him first before they could fix whatever was going on in Dean's head.
"Yeah, well. It's still safer for me to get gone and stay gone. You're already gonna have the hell of a time explaining away the gunshot in your shoulder when they come looking for me. Better for everyone if no one knows where I am." Great, so now they were dealing with stubborn, over protective Dean. Martyr Dean. Impossible Dean. Fantastic.
"So I should take that as 'don't bother asking where I am 'cause I'm just going to dodge answering you or lie to you' then, right? Because from where I'm sitting it sounds like you don't want me to meet you anywhere so we can figure this FBI problem out together." Yeah, he sounded pissy. He was entitled to be pissy. He'd just been shot getting his pain in the ass brother out of jail and now the ungrateful jerk was giving him a hard time. Didn't help that it was so noisy. Was that on his end of the line, or Dean's?
"Look, could you just try to see this from my end of it Sam? The kids are only just settling in with you and that girl of yours. Cal's still on the mend. The FBI's got too much on me not to want to give my closest a hard time. One wrong move, one iota of proof you guys had something to do with springing me out and all that falls apart." Sam didn't have to listen to closely because he knew what the party line would be. Looking around he realized everyone had gone dead quiet around him, listening in to see where the conversation was going. So the noise was wherever Dean was. Interesting.
"Is that a dog barking?" Sam changed the subject on a dime. The bark was familiar, deep and throaty. Rumsfeld? "Dude, are you at Bobby's?" The question took them both by surprise because even for Sam that was fast.
"Uh… yeah." If Dean had seen the question coming he would have made something up, deflected, maybe he'd have picked a fight to get Sam off topic. As it was he had nothing so he just told the truth. What did it matter? He'd be long gone the minute the doc showed up with the Impala. Even if they tried they'd never make it to Bobby's before he was gone.
Deep breath Sam. Remember who you're dealing with. He's just trying to protect you, and he probably doesn't get that he needs protecting more than you do right now.
"Look, I get what you're doing. I had a feeling you'd take off like this. For the record? If I didn't have a hole in me I'd be facing you right now." They both knew it so Sam didn't need to speak the words, but he felt better for having said them. He might as well have just challenged Dean to come home to peddle his excuses to his face.
"I'm not coming back home Sam, and I'm not going back there either." 'There' being the small cell with the tiny window he'd gotten to know so well in the past few days.
"Nobody's going to let it come to you going back to jail. Look, just stay where you are okay? I'll meet you there. We're doing this together, just like everything else." Just like they'd always done, the only right way to face a problem.
"Don't bother, I'll be gone before you get here." He didn't like the finality in Dean's tone. It meant he'd made up his mind and, like their father, he wasn't going to budge.
"What? Okay, fine. Say I don't go. You've got to talk to me man. Tell me what your plan is. Let me help, even if it's from here." Cal was on her feet now, ready to reach for the phone. She didn't like the way this was going and it wouldn't be too long before she decided there had to be some action taken.
"Dude, you come with me and we put the kids at risk, don't we? They'll know you had something to do with breaking me out. It's not that far a stretch to include Fran and Cal in their suspicions. You think they'll let Jace and Mags stay with Fran then? They'll end up back in foster care."
Nobody wanted that. Dean was right, and Sam really hated it when he was right. Especially in this case.
"Okay. Fine. But… Look, you want me to let you do this? Then you're going to have to promise to call me. Daily, man, not just whenever the hell you feel like it like Dad used to. I want to know whenever you make a move. I want to know you're okay." Maybe he'd feel like he was doing something even if it was just keeping tabs.
"Okay, okay. Fine. You got it." At this point they both knew Dean would agree to anything to get Sam to stay put long enough for that hole in his shoulder to heal.
Then, Dean hit him with the other big issue. "Listen, about Cal?" Because she probably wouldn't understand. She'd hunt him down like some kind of rabid animal. Oh, but Sam wasn't going to be the messenger on this one.
"Yeah, she's right here, just a sec." If Dean had something to say or ask out of the woman, he could do it himself.
"No! Sammy, don't put her on. I need you to stall her. Take any chance you can think of to keep her from…"
"Going after you? Dude! She can take us both down easy on a good day. I'm injured and on pain killers here. I might have psychic powers but that doesn't make me a miracle worker." There was steam rising somewhere in the kitchen behind Sam and it wasn't a kettle of water boiling. It was Cal and she was angry.
"Just buy me a little time, okay? I'll be outta here by sunset. I just… I need a little time." To disappear.
"I'll do what I can. No promises. You know what she's like." There wasn't a force on earth that could stop her from trying to find him if she thought he needed a good boot to the butt.
"Yeah, I know. Whatever you can do, I appreciate it." He'd just have to hurry then.
Cal reached for the phone and put it to her ear just in time to hear him hang up. The click might as well have been gunshot to open a particularly important race. She was frantic. Tossing Sam's cell phone on the nearby table she ran up the stairs to her room, found it gutted of Dean's things and then ran down the stairs again and out into the yard. Sure enough the truck was gone too.
"DAMNIT!" Her scream echoed through the yard, startling a flock of birds in the orchard behind the house so they took to the sky in a flurry of wings and feathers.
Okay, think Cal. Think. A car. She'd have to drive fast to get there before the doc did with the Impala. How long would it take to pack a bag? Five minutes? Three, if she bought some clothes along the way. Looking down at her watch she figured the time that had gone by since they'd left the hospital. Not long, maybe twenty minutes. Yeah. It could be done. She could do this.
"Cal, get in here. We've gotta talk about this." Sam called out to her, obviously under orders to stall her. She hadn't needed both sides of the conversation to get that. Well, the hell with it. She was going and that's all there was to it.
"Maggie, grab the keys to the 'Stang and pull it out of the shed, would ya? Keep the motor running, I won't be more than a few minutes."
True to her word, just a few minutes later Cal was speeding down her own driveway leaving four very stunned people in her wake. Cal was known for her speedy, stealth getaways. No one had ever really understood how fast she could move until they saw her that day, running off to catch up with the man who might one day be responsible for the complete loss of her sanity.
"Damnit Dean!" Her mantra the whole way there.
Thank you for taking the time to read this fic. Please feel free to leave me a review. :)
