Hi readers,

I apologize for the long delay. A lot of things came up in my life that ended up putting this story on the back burner. I appreciate all the people who have reviewed and who continue to read this. I also have not watched the last few episode of OUAT yet, so any of my information is inaccurate- I apologize in advance. Anywho, without further ado, enjoy!


Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart

It sounded like a punch line to a joke, Emma thought ruefully.

She glanced from the corner of her eye at the man who assisted her, Mr. Captain fucking Hook, and tried to subdue her very much unlady-like snort of drunken laughter.

So Captain Hook walks into a bar and BAM, runs into a very much drunken princess. What would result from this unfortunate interaction? She pondered, staggering slightly against him.

Grudgingly, Emma had eventually accepted the pirate's supposed 'chivalrous' offer of assistance. However she had warned him sharply, with a menacing poke of her finger against his tight abdomen she might add, that one grope or inappropriate caress and she would personally feed him and his entrails to her neighbor's dog.

"He is vicious" Emma had said with exaggerated theatrics. She raised her arms over her head and stood at her highest length, "And he's huuuuuge. You couldn't take him on Hook" She shook her head with a fake look of concern. "He'll rip your other hand right off"

"Thanks for your concern" Hook replied sarcastically. Still, he rubbed his Hook in worrying fashion and Emma smirked.

"With no hands and two hooks, I would surmise that all women would flee from you" she mused thoughtfully.

He tossed her look that begged to differ, heady and darkly seductive that made her stomach curl. How she hated that stupid face. It mocked her. Dryly she thought that even if Hook had two pointy daggers for hands, if he spread his arms wide and shot one of his 'come hither' looks, women would still be running towards into his arms.

How irritating.

"Well. I don't venture to take you up on that wager. Besides, it'd be quite a travesty for you if I lost my one hand" He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively "You'd be missing out on quite a lot m'lady"

She scoffed "Neighbor's dog, Hook. Don't forget"

Said neighbor's dog was actually a beagle. The nicest simpleton if she ever knew one. Wouldn't chomp on a butterfly, nevermind a six foot pirate made of sinewy muscle, clad in leather.

Dog would probably piss itself. Not that she would tell Hook that. Any bit of grievance she could cause him was lovely. Her pent up frustration and stress at life had finally found an outlet.

Still, when Hook wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her own arm to rest on his shoulder, Emma resisted the inane urge to snuggle. She liked the closeness of the warm body beside her. But, if she was being entirely honest with herself, it was specifically that it was his warm body that she liked beside her. She liked the smell of him, all masculine and musty. And him.

Emma tried to snap herself out of it.

This was her drunkenness and lust talking. And lust could not be irrevocably replaced with love. Sex was not love. And she didn't love this man. They were as different as night and day. He was cruel and calloused, treachery was common to him. She had never seen him offer a hand of comfort to anyone. Sensitivity and feeling were lost on him. From all she had garnered about Hook, Emma did not view him as fit for a relationship. She could not see him committing himself to strictly any one woman. They were two different types of puzzle pieces that could not feasibly compute when together. They wanted different things.

No, she didn't love this man. She simply wanted to fuck him. But she had priorities. She knew what she needed. And it wasn't Killian Jones.

"So Princess", Killian drawled as they progressed at a snail's pace, pulling her from her reprieve. "You've been awfully quiet these past few minutes. Having trouble coming up with a reason?"

"You wish Hook"

"No, I know Swan"

"Do you enjoying battling wits with a woman who can't cognitively function correctly?" She randomly questioned.

"Only if it's you", Killian smiled with a wink before continuing "anyway, I must say I am impressed with your ability to hold a most coherent conversation in your….state. Mostly I find drunken babble irritating. But you hold yourself quite well"

"I've had lots of practice" She murmured quietly. "Before Storybrooke, I ended up drunk a lot" It slipped out calmly, taking her by surprise. She never usually vocally proffered this information but her lips had always been looser after some tequila.

Emma looked up at Hook with large doe eyes and a humorless smile "Life sucked. I'll spare you the details. And the badly written songs that pretty much described my life hic. But there are many ways to escape life and drinking became mine hic"

Emma nudged him in the ribs "See", she laughed, aiming and failing for nonchalance."You would be no drinking competition for me. I can drink my weight and more in liquor hic. I have a mighty tolerance. I think I should have been a predestined pirate not a princess"

She laughed again, brightly. Yet, it was the hysterical edge that Hook noted with a frown.

"I'm sorry" He said quietly.

Sorry for what? She wondered.

Emma waited for more but he didn't elaborate. Instead,Hook rubbed consoling circles of comfort against her hipbone. Emma almost shook him off but, when she looked up at his absentminded and lost-in-thought face, she realized it really was a genuine gesture of comfort and not some leery grope. A soft smile crept on her lips.

Who knew.

"Ah, escape. I know the feeling well love" He looked at her, blue eyes scorching "Escape is useless. I came to that epiphany long ago. I tried to drink away my problems too. But you can't run and escape forever lass. Better to do something about it instead" The spark of determination and anger ebbed into eyes. It was a fire that scorched. She admired that quality of him, that determination. He wouldn't stop until he he taken what he sought.

Emma could only imagine he was talking about his revenge on the crocodile. His face only took on that darkening shade and visibly upset look when on the subject.

"And you avoid the beer belly" She ventured, more to get him out of his bleak mood then anything. His face cracked into a small smile and his eyes softened as he looked down at her, a look that he unconsciously reserved especially for her "Aye, that as well"

They walked on, quiet. Companionable silence. It was an epiphany to Emma.

Who knew. Who knew. Who knew. Her mind chanted this marveling mantra in a continuing cycle. For the first time, Emma wanted to actually understand Hook instead of dismiss him without a second glance. She wanted to know what made him tick, what made him passionate. She wanted to dig him out of all the buried walls that had enclosed upon him and make him feel something. Anything.

She was….confused. Bombarded with this new opinion of Hook, she placed one hand on her head and tried to block him out.

"Love, you okay over there?" He gave her a cautious shake of her shoulder, her body now suddenly comatose "if you faint on me, I'm not carrying you back. Besides I can't have you backing out of our deal" He warned.

"I'm fine" She muttered finally "I'll finish our stupid deal"

"Lovely" He gave a self-satisfied smirk as he lugged her body. "Come on, I'm not dragging you home. Though it would probably be faster with the way you're walking"

"Hey!" She objected. Clearly his sympathy had its limits.

"Don't even try to sound offended. At turtle could outstrip you at this moment" He scoffed.

"Slow and steady wins the race" She stuck her tongue out childishly, wondering why he always brought out this stupid side of her. And wondering why he was attracted to it. His gaze once more lingered on her lips and she blushed, crossing her arms.

A defense mechanism, she had been told. She also had found it to be true. She was defensive and hostile with men she didn't like. And she was defensive and hostile with men she did. She kept most people at an arm's length distance and when she did let them in, Emma still felt uncomfortable and….awkward.

Right now, she still felt so incredibly awkward.

They trudged onward.

Killian cleared his throat "Anyway love, need I remind you that we've been walking for bloody ages and though I've immensely enjoyed our stimulating and enlightening conversation, you have yet to give me even one out of ten reasons"

"Well fine" She snapped. She was angry, more at herself then at him. Still, to his credit, he ignored her whiplash and merely raised his eyebrows.

"I have Henry" She tossed out.

'Yes, clearly" he remarked patiently.

There was a short silence and they looked at each other, one in confused bafflement and the other with a knowing look in her bleary eyes.

"I fail to see the problem" He managed finally.

"I know about you and Peter" She appraised him with blue and judgmental eyes.

Killian scowled. How he despised that look.

"Swan, the fuck is Peter? I absolutely have no idea what you're talking about"

"Peter is a child hic"', She explained slowly and petulantly. "And you hate him—" she said matter of factly.

"I don't even know him" He interjected. "How can I hate him?"

"No, you hate him. I know. I've read the books hic" Again, she gave him that all-knowing look and a nudge.

"Admit it, you basically, unequivocally, hate Henry"

"I thought I hated Peter?"

Emma exclaimed, large eyes rounded eyes, she whispered in mock exaggeration "so you do hate him"

"This is ridiculous" Killian tossed his hands up in exasperation and she wobbled without the balance that he once provided for her.

"Hook" She reached for him but he was lost in his angry tirade.

"So, in this realm, the view that people have of me is that….I'm a pirate who bullies children" He turned calmly to look at her with hooded eyes. "Is that how you think of me as well?"

"I don't think of you" She lied blatantly.

His brow creased, furrowed with pent up irritation. He let it out in a sigh "You are so stubborn Emma"

Killian grasped her hand, pulling it over his shoulder once more. "Well, come on then"

A wave of dizziness washed over her, and her mouth contorted. She grasped his hook gladly, holding onto the support.

Emma followed his lead, boring her eyes into the back of his head. How she wished she had the capability to read minds. She didn't know how to read him. Her superpower of reading people was failing her. She didn't know what to do; she closed her eyes wearily and hoped the spinning would stop.

And then she passed out as the enveloping darkness surrounded her.


Hi readers,

I know I keep saying I'm going to wrap this up and finish but I keep adding things so all I can say is that I'll try to wrap it up soon but it's not done yet. I again apologize for the delay. I'm so sorry! And will try to update much faster in the future.

I hope you enjoyed and would appreciate your reviews and thoughts. It takes a second to review, but hours to write! Thanks X

X

Sineadxrose