Chip was exhausted. He'd gone to splash water over his face then returned to his desk, pulled an incident report sheet from a drawer and began to write. He wouldn't rest with the reports undone. As he filled the form, he remembered how quickly he'd reacted to seal the door. Without a second glance towards the men trapped there. And, not a second's thought for Lee. It didn't seem right. He had had no choice; he had done his duty as he turned that wheel. Chip had no doubt his actions were right.
What seemed wrong was how he had forgotten Lee in the process. And Davenport. Chip had sealed him to his death as well as Lee. But, Lee's death overshadowed his to the point Davenport was only an afterthought in Chip's conscience. Chip was only human though, he couldn't be expected to mourn a crewman as he would a brother. He did feel bad about Davenport; sorry he was dead and sorry for his family. But, Chip couldn't feel bad for sealing that hatch. Not only would it show a weakness unacceptable in any command personnel, it defied logic.
Chip heard a knock on his door. "Come in."
Chip looked to see the admiral enter. He began to stand but Nelson stopped him with a downward wave of his hand. There was a gauze square taped across Nelson's forehead over his left eye. But, Nelson looked wounded far worse than his injury could explain. He was haggard and pale, transformed more than seemed possible in the space of an hour. Chip looked away from him and down to the papers on his desk. Despite appearances, though, Nelson was still Nelson. His voice was steady as he spoke.
"How are you, Chip?"
"Fine, sir."
As soon as he heard himself say the words, the thought struck him that that was Lee's line, Lee's lie.
"You don't carry it off as well as he did, Chip."
Chip looked back to the admiral. A small smile creased the sorrow on Nelson's face. Chip answered with a half smile of his own.
"Will examined Davenport," Nelson said. "He didn't drown, he was crushed. He would have died instantly, dead before Lee even found him."
Chip's gut twisted. Fate was adding insult to injury. Lee had died trying to save a dead man. After a few seconds of silence, Nelson spoke again.
"You did what you had to do."
"I know that, sir." Chip did know that, he had no regrets for his actions. He couldn't. "But…"
Nelson waited silently and patiently as Chip debated finishing the sentence.
"I didn't think…I forgot Lee was even there."
"How much harder would it have been if you'd remembered?" Nelson didn't wait for an answer before he continued.
"There wasn't time to think. If you'd delayed a second, we'd be on the bottom, dead. You did what you were trained to do. If you hadn't acted as quickly as you did, there'd be one hundred and twenty five lost rather than two. If he'd been able, Lee would have ordered you to do it."
It was true, Chip knew. Knowing Lee, Lee had been giving that order with his last breath. Almost certainly. There was no way to be sure because Chip hadn't glanced back to him. Lee had to have heard that first warning hiss. He may have even heard it a fraction of a second before Chip. What if Lee had tried to escape? What if Lee had sprinted towards the open doorway?
Lee was fast, would have been even faster with death on his heels. But, no matter how fast Lee was, he couldn't have beaten the sea. Chip remembered his last glimpse of Lee. He was at least thirty feet from the door. A second, maybe a second and a half, for Lee to cover the distance to the door, through the doorway and still enough time to secure the door? He couldn't have made it in time, Chip told himself. It was impossible. The wheel was still turning as Chip was knocked from his feet. But, those facts were contrary to the scenario suddenly unfolding in his mind. Lee had made it, he was there, diving for the open doorway just as Chip had slammed it shut.
"Chip," Nelson's voice pulled Chip from his thoughts. Chip looked up to him. "You saved the lives of one hundred and twenty three men tonight. Never forget that."
Chip nodded and Nelson left him alone.
