Title: But You Can Save Me From Madness, Part Four
Pairing: Regina/Ruby
Rating: R
Length: 5, 400
Summary: Ruby needs an escape and Regina's house has been empty for a long time
Ruby spends the week in the forest. She had woken up before Regina the night after the incident – well, she had been awake and left the bed after Regina fell asleep. She lives on instinct rather than conscious thought, waking up just as the sky begins to darken and running at night. She walks across almost every foot of the forest before the week is through.
On Friday, she knows she's out of time; that her vacation away from the town had to end, though she does take a moment to try and calculate how long she could survive in the forest (she figures a good seventy years at least), but nevertheless Ruby is padding across the pavement as the week comes to a close.
It's past midnight, closer to dawn really. She really could milk this for at least another half of a day, but she's tired. She's never felt like this as the wolf before, rundown and exhausted, but apparently even wolves have their limits. Ruby stops as the scent of Mary Margaret catches her out of nowhere, apparently not having taken note of what street she had ended up on when she left the trees that had been her haven for the week. She thinks about going in, transitioning and knocking on the door and waking them up. Beg them to forgive her.
Ruby lets out a whimper and continues on her way, now moving through the city with a renewed interest to escape it once again. She forces herself to change before she walks through the door to what is supposed to be her home. It's quiet and dark and the scent of the rescue team has given way to freshly cut flowers.
She's standing at the foot of Regina's bed before she knows it, ridding herself of her mud-caked pants and shirt. Regina wakes up at the sound, looking alert the moment she sees Ruby. Not worried or confused or frightened, just aware. She doesn't say anything, not even as Ruby climbs over her on the bed. She just waits and looks.
It unnerves Ruby a bit because she doesn't know what to do and Regina seemingly always does. But she's silent underneath Ruby, unmoving and stoic. But when Ruby kisses her she responds immediately.
"All I could think was how much I missed this," Ruby whispers in between rough collides of their lips, a sudden urgency having taken over every move she makes, making her rip buttons and leave unintentional bruises in her wake. Regina matches her energy with fervor, kissing the younger girl like she was dying for it, her own hands pushing down the straps of Ruby's bra. "Your perfume, your shampoo… these sheets… this room… they all smell like you. God, I missed it."
Regina silences her with a hungry kiss, groaning quietly when Ruby proceeds down her neck. It's the only kind of sound she makes, only sound either of them makes for a long time. The sun is peaking through when she finally speaks, her hands sifting through Ruby's hair as the werewolf used her stomach as a pillow.
"It was so quiet. I almost went mad."
Ruby turns her head to look up at her. "I thought you were used to quiet."
"I was."
Birds chirping, dogs barking, cars starting – the day was beginning outside and Ruby hates it. She wants to stay cocooned in this room until the rest of the world disappears. She knows Regina will rise eventually; she has a town to run even on the weekends. If she disappeared for a week her absence would be severely felt, despite half the town's apparent distrust of their mayor.
"Is he okay?"
"He's got a pretty impressive cast on his wrist." Ruby groans. "But he's fine. I had a drink with Whale though, he says you did some damage."
She wants to ask why Regina would have a drink with Whale, but she knows. She's a smart girl. "Did they come back?"
"No. I walked in on the end of a conversation your grandmother was having with Mary Margaret, she reminded her where you'd run to. I take it she didn't make it out into the actual forest?" Ruby shakes her head, feeling her eyes droop as a week's worth of emotions takes it toll on her. "Sleep, Ruby. I promise you that every problem you have will still be here when you wake up."
She sleeps through the day, only waking briefly when Regina returns to bed Saturday evening. She rolls over and throws her arm over Regina's stomach and promptly falls back asleep. She rises with Regina the next morning, eats breakfast and dresses, but when she's ready, she just sits at the kitchen window.
"Why don't you go see your grandmother?"
"I will," Ruby replies with little emotion.
"Your friend's book club is starting up today. I was going to go with Henry, but why don't you meet him there instead?"
"Why?" The brunette turns to face her, watching as Regina looks through the stack of mail from the previous week. "Don't you want to see him?"
"I do, but I feel like you could use some social interaction without the stigma. Besides, story time? No thank you."
Ruby drives instead of walks like she usually would. Walks give her the time to think, but driving is mechanical and easy to do without thought. She parks in front of Granny's and crosses the street before she can look in the windows to see who was staring at her. She can feel it, but she doesn't want to acknowledge it.
When she walks in, the group is just starting, children sitting in a circle around Belle, the occasional parent. She sits behind Henry, nudging him in the back to announce her arrival without interrupting Belle, who was reading to them, a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird in her hands as well as the kids who followed along.
She's sitting next to Jefferson, who's seated behind his daughter. He and her parents here seem to have worked out an arrangement, it made her wonder why the Charmings and Regina were still at war over Henry, after all that has been said and done. She knew there was more bad blood, but for Henry's sake, she doesn't see why he can't have the same upbringing that Paige has managed to work out.
They read for an hour before the group finishes for the day, many kids leaving to enjoy the rest of their weekend, while a few remained. Ruby talks to Belle briefly, ensuring her a full update on the town gossip that had been circulating. Henry doesn't have much to say on the situation, she wonders if he was even partially informed about the altercation, but she doubts it.
She treats him to lunch, walking through Granny's front door like she would on any of her off days. Granny's in the back, which Ruby is somewhat thankful for, though she's sure Granny knows she's there. Sarah takes their order, and most of the patrons seem to not take notice of their meal, so Ruby tries to enjoy her time with Henry, even when his mother comes.
"And the wolf girl returns," Emma says as she joins them, smiling as the waitress arrives to fill her cup with coffee. "How was your week in the woods?"
Ruby doesn't know when it became easier to talk to Emma than Mary Margaret, but she's thankful for the neutrality her best friend's daughter offers. "Uneventful. How were things here?"
Emma picks up on the loaded question, glancing to ensure that Henry was enrapt with his french fries rather than the undertones to their conversation. She gives Ruby a weary look and takes a sip of her coffee. "Uneventful."
When the two depart Ruby walks through the back door into the laundry room to where Granny stood folding sheets. When Ruby enters she nods towards the other end and for a few minutes, they stand in silence as they took care of the laundry. It reminds Ruby of being a child, hunting with Granny as they silently stepped through the forest. She can remember it then, being able to pick up on everything from the river off in the distance to the rustle of the leaves next to her.
"Emma wasn't lying. It's been uneventful."
"I take it they came to you before they decided to try and rescue me from Regina's claws."
"They did," Granny replies, tossing the folded laundry into an empty basket. "I told them they were being ridiculous, but they assumed the only reason you were staying there was because of a spell Regina cast. I think they still kind of believe it. Or want to."
"Why is it such a big deal to everyone?"
"That you're sleeping with the queen who banished us from our land?"
"That I'm living my own life," Ruby snaps back. "One that doesn't revolve around them. One that I'm very happy with, even if I lose people who I thought were my family in the process." She gives Granny a side-eye glance. "Friends who I thought were my family. I know it doesn't include you."
"Good."
Ruby sighs and leans back against the folding table. "I take it there was also a meeting afterwards."
"There was. Charming was still irate, and he had a very good reason so don't even make that face. I can't remember the last time I saw Mary Margaret so worried. Emma and Archie tried to defuse the situation – Hopper went on about how you and Regina could relate on a psychological level, and Emma just kept saying that it didn't look like you were under any spell." Granny walks over as the dryer goes off, pulling out the towels and bringing them back to the table, shoving half in Ruby's direction. "I told them pretty much the same. They feel betrayed, Ruby. You can't expect them not to. And they don't even know you're bedding the Queen either."
Most grandchildren would flush at the mention of their sex lives by their grandmother, but this was a popular enough conversation that Ruby doesn't bat an eyelash at it anymore.
"It's been so long. All of us… we've been fighting a hard life since we were children. And when we got here, there was peace. Until Emma came and everything changed. And now, we have no one left to fight, so they have to turn it back on Regina. Not Gold, or Jefferson, or the people they've already killed. It's like they can't exist without an opposing force and they chose her as the default."
"And that might be true, but change takes time. Adjustments take time. Not everyone is so ready to let go of the past as you are."
"We are."
Granny sighs and stops her monotonous motions, tossing the towel aside and turning to look at her granddaughter. "You have to think, Ruby, long and hard about who you want in your life – about where you want to be in ten years. Those are the fights in this land, and you have to learn to face them like everybody else."
She leaves before Ruby can respond, the brunette sighing before she finishes the towels and leaves through the side door. She sees Charming's truck parked in front of her Camaro and stops for a moment before continuing to her car. Ruby still needs time to think and she knows she won't be able to do it at the empty mansion she lives at.
Whale's not in his office, but it's unlocked so she walks in anyway, seating herself in his cushy chair and helping herself to a tumbler of scotch. She can hear him approaching from down the hall, speaking to the nurse about a young boy who fractured his leg at the school Friday. When he arrives he stops for a moment and blinks in surprise, but he sits across from her, dropping the stack of open files on his desk and nodding toward the empty glass.
"Well, you've been a busy little pup," he remarks, taking the drink in one hand and signing a sheet with another before moving it aside to do the same to one underneath it.
"Are you busy?"
"Just release forms. I've become pretty good at multitasking when drinking is involved."
Ruby smiles and leans back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. "How long is David going to be in a cast?"
"For a while," he admits, glancing up at her. "But he'll manage. He's already back at the stables. I think he's already gone riding, actually. What the hell happened? They were still too mad to discuss it the next day. Emma told me what happened but, you know, I'd like to relive the details. David needed to be knocked down a peg."
"They thought they were rescuing me or something. He tried to pull his gun, though. As if a gun could kill Regina."
"I think he forgets that sometimes," Whale adds as he leans back against his chair, his glass already nearly empty. "She came by here. She didn't say much except to ask about Charming. But she was sporting an impressive bruise."
"Courtesy of the King."
"I figured as much. Talk to them yet?"
"No. I saw Emma today. Granny says they're at a standstill about the whole thing. I'd get where they were coming from if it was two years ago, but god." She takes a deep gulp of her drink, her eyes watering at the bite. "I don't know what to do."
"I can't help you there, Rubes. I can help you out of your clothes, but this one is beyond me."
"I thought doctors were supposed to heal people."
"Nah, you're thinking of nurses. We just diagnose."
"Shut up." She'd throw something at him if there was anything in range, but for some reason a stapler seems too harsh. Instead she pours herself another drink.
Whale laughs and returns to his paperwork, glancing up quickly. "Maybe you should talk to Hopper."
"God, you think I need help too?"
"I've always thought that. You used to be a nympho and you'd never come home with me." She does toss the stapler this time, a little more roughly than she means to, but he takes it in stride with another laugh. "Really, though. He's good at that fake medicine shit."
When she finally returns home, she's exhausted and it's dinnertime. Regina's in the kitchen pulling dinner out of the oven, glancing over only briefly at her when Ruby steps in. The mayor busies herself, pulling out the cutlery and plates.
"How was story time?"
"Good. To Kill a Mockingbird."
"I'm sorry I missed out. That was a good one."
Ruby sits at the spot she knows Regina will put her setting. "Do you read a lot?
"I try to. The authors here are pretty impressive." Regina sets the plates down and brings the ham. "What about you?"
"It's weird. Like, I know I haven't read so many books or seen any of these movies, but when I start them, I already know how they go. Like they stuck with Ruby." She shakes her head. "It's like déjà vu sometimes. At least I usually know if I like a book or not when I'm reading it."
"So you're a re-reader then?"
"I am. You're not?"
"I am not. When I'm finished with something, I prefer it to stayed finished."
Ruby sighs at the shift in conversation, focusing on her meal until she can ignore Regina's stare no longer. "Emma says there hasn't been any change, Granny says I only have myself to blame, and Whale says that David will probably be in a cast for the next few months. What else can I say?"
"Doesn't seem like you are saying anything at all."
Ruby sets her jaw, her gaze still on her plate. "Well, there's nothing for me to say. Do I have to explain myself to you? I thought you were the one who understood all this."
"I do. But I find it intriguing that you're so willing to give up on friendships you've had for decades over something as small as an address change."
"They're the ones doing that, not me," Ruby throws back. "I have no problem with them except the one they apparently have with me."
"By association," Regina adds nonchalantly as she cuts the meat on her plate into neat squares.
Ruby watches her for a long time, both her meal and her gaze going unnoticed. Regina doesn't mind being stared at – she loves it. She knows the mayor must take some sort of pleasure in watching people come up with a reply to her remarks.
"Do you even want me here?" She asks suddenly, unaware the question had even been on her mind. "Because sometimes it seems like you could take it or leave it altogether."
"You think I'd share my home – my bed with you if I didn't want you around?"
"No, but you don't seem to be all that willing to step up in either direction."
"Because my interfering would accomplish absolutely nothing, if not make the predicament much worse. As you know damn well." Ruby glowers, feeling like a kid being punished. "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know. I really don't."
"Well, that seems to be a problem."
"Just say whatever you want to say, Regina. You don't need me to goad you into it."
Regina smiles and looks down at her plate. "Ruby, I want you here. I enjoy your company. I thoroughly enjoyed your performance the other morning. I want you to stay."
"What if it just creates more drama with you and Henry?"
"It will, but it's the good kind of drama. Henry's smart, he knows something's going on, but he gets that it doesn't have anything to do with him and that his grandparents are now angry with their friend for simply living with me." Regina takes a sip of her water. "I hope you don't feel as if I'm using you, but it is a mighty fine cherry on top to know my son is more than likely in my corner this time. Because you're in it as well."
Ruby feels somewhat childish for handling this situation more poorly than an actual child. They sit through dinner in silence and for the first time since Ruby has stayed there, Regina leaves afterwards. Ruby doesn't really know what to do left on her own, even if she usually spent her nights alone.
She lies on her bed in the darkness, even though she hadn't for weeks now. But it's quiet and dark and she can be alone with her thoughts with little influence from Regina's presence in the house. She sighs and pulls out her phone.
Pongo is in her lap because he refuses to move, and Ruby's stopped trying, even if Archie breaks every once in awhile and tries to control his dog.
"So you have feelings for Regina then?"
She blushes and she doesn't really know why. "I do."
"More so than the ones you have that you think… binds you two together because of your circumstances?"
"Listen, I just… I've forgiven her. I've thanked her for what she's done for me, for bringing me to this world where I'm so much happier. She's beautiful and smart and kind… even if people don't see it."
"You didn't answer my question."
"Yes," she breathes, "I have more than platonic, romantic, nice feelings about Regina."
Archie laughs a little, his pen tapping against his clipboard. "Why is it so hard for you to say it, exactly? Because of your friends?"
"I just said it, what more do you want?"
The doctor leans forward in his chair so he can re-cross his legs. "I want you to feel like you can say whatever you want, honestly and truthfully, the best you can. I'm not here to judge you."
Ruby sighs, running her hand along Pongo's spotted back. "I know you're not. But you came that day."
"I did. In your defense," he points out.
"I know. Thank you for that. But if they're not gonna listen to their walking, talking conscience, I don't see how I can fix anything with them, save for severing all ties with Regina."
"You really think that's your only option?"
"They're making it my only option!"
"Have you spoken to them since?"
"No," she admits begrudgingly. "But Emma's filled me in."
"Have you seen them since?"
"No."
"But you're going to go back to work today?"
"Yes."
"And you'll more than likely see them there. How do you think you're going to handle that?" Archie asks after writing something down.
"With more civility than they showed me."
"Good."
"Better to kill them with kindness, right?" She asks tiredly.
"If you let go of your hostilities I have no doubt in my mind that Mary Margaret and David will as well." Archie clears his throat and looks down nervously. "Just maybe not right away."
She makes another appointment for the next week before she crosses the street and walks into her grandmother's restaurant, pulling on an apron and taking over for the matriarch of her family who stays behind the counter and busies herself with looking over the orders forms.
Ruby smiles when Ashley enters, taking her order before she takes a seat with her, taking Alex into her lap so the baby could stuff dry Cheerios into her mouth as they wait for Ashley's food.
"This kid is getting ridiculously big."
"I know," Ashley yawns, rubbing her eyes. "But she's going through this wonderful codependence phase. You should hear her scream when I leave for school."
"She just misses her mommy." Ruby drops a kiss on top of the gold ringlets that cover the child's head. "How's Sean?"
"He just got a promotion actually, which has been a godsend with the nanny fees. And we're not holding our breaths waiting for our checks to bounce anymore." The blonde takes a long drink of her coffee. "But we should hang out soon. Sean keeps offering to give me a night off since I'm always in, but I've been swamped with homework. It's getting easier now."
"Yeah? I'd like that. Girls night." She winces a little. "You, me, Belle…"
Ashley gives her a weird look, but it's accompanied with a smile. "Mary Margaret, Emma," she adds.
"I don't know. They're not really my biggest fans since I moved in with Regina. Sorry if I didn't tell you that before."
"Please, everyone knows everything in this town. Just not what matters – like Rumple being the one behind everyone's misfortune, both here and there."
"About that, can you tone down the Gold hate when we hang out? Belle might find it a teeny bit offensive."
"Well, she should. I'm trying to offend. What she sees in him…" Ashley shakes her head and slides from the booth when the bell rings in the kitchen, saving Ruby the trip. When she returns she begins by cutting her toast up into pieces for Alexandra. "I don't have an issue with it, if you're worried about that, you know. I'm sorry about Emma and Mary Margaret though."
"Yeah, well," Ruby lets out a breath when she doesn't know how to continue. "I'll… invite them, but I'm inviting Regina too. Thursday night is still girl's night at the Rabbit, right? The bar schedule is no longer imprinted in my brain."
"It is. And we should definitely go out for drinks. Maybe it'll be a chance to break bread."
Ruby just asks for whatever Regina orders, shifting uncomfortably in her green dress. She'd already been hit on twice, and each time she had to kick Regina under the table to stop her from laughing.
"Didn't take you for a gin girl," she remarks as she takes a sip of her martini, waving Ashley over when she arrives. She's thankful she makes it before Belle, who, despite having forgiven Regina, is still awkward around her.
"Clear liquor makes me more social," Regina replies drolly, shifting in her seat. She gives Ashley a small smile when the blonde takes a seat next to her. "Mrs. Herman."
"How long until I get used to hearing that?"
"Give it two more months. If it still doesn't seem right after then, throw in a hyphen."
Ashley laughs and orders the same thing they did. The three spend then next ten minutes in a comfortable discussion on child rearing, Ruby thankful that her two friends are able to talk on their own while she nervously drains her drink as she keeps her eyes trained on the door.
Emma walks in and for a moment Ruby feels relieved when she sees the shadow behind her through the tinted glass at the entrance. But when the blonde walks through to meet them, it's not her mother who follows her in but Belle.
Regina's eyes are on her, but Ruby tries not to look disappointed. She smiles and pretends not to notice the empty chair, laughing a little as Emma reluctantly orders their apparent drink of the night. She knows the conversation wouldn't be flowing so easily amongst the group if Mary Margaret was there with them, but she can't shake the feeling of rejection, even after she and Regina return home.
"She'll get over it, Ruby," Regina says as she turns down the covers and does away with the extra pillows. "In-"
"In time, I know." She does know it, but it hurts. Ruby supposes she knows how Mary Margaret felt when she came through her front door on their false mission. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Looking over some business propositions. Gold is being a generous lender to some startups that want to take us into the twenty-first century."
"That's… weird."
"I guess we have your friend to thank." Regina sighs as she relaxes into the bed. "It's not a bad thing, at any rate."
She's surprised when she hears it the next evening, the distinctive squeak of her yellow bug's doors alerting her as she set the table for dinner. Ruby cautiously calls out for Regina, informing her of Henry and Emma's arrival. Regina furrows her eyebrow and joins her at the top of the stairs before the entryway.
Emma knocks, but Henry pushes through, dragging a duffel bag behind him before he drops to the floor to undo the laces on his sneakers.
"He wants to start spending some weekends here," Emma says slowly. "I didn't see the harm. His room is still an ongoing project at the loft."
Regina smiles and descends the staircase, Ruby close on her trail as she grabs Henry's duffel bag and brings it up to his room, sharing a small smile with Emma before she does. By the time she's seated in her place in the dining room, Henry is sitting across from her, already digging into his dinner.
She exchanges a look with Regina, but the older woman just continues her conversation with her son. After dinner she helps him with his homework, apparently having studied this country's history thoroughly in her long lifetime here. Ruby stays back, allows them to have their time, doesn't even mind when Henry joins them again for their evening glass of wine.
"This is terrible. Why do people like this?"
"I told you that you wouldn't like it. But I was practically nursed with wine. We didn't really have… regulations in the other land." Regina pours his small portion into her own glass, nodding to Ruby. "What was Granny like? Since I was eight I was allowed to have one glass at every formal banquet. Which we had constantly."
"Special occasions," Ruby nods. "I didn't start liking it until I was like twenty though."
"But you managed to get through until then?" Ruby laughs and nods, taking a deep drink. Regina's hand is draped over her son's shoulders, picking at a loose thread on his shirt. "You can try again when you turn sixteen. Maybe it'll keep you away from parties in high school."
"I'm going up to bed. I still have another chapter of To Kill a Mockingbird to read before Sunday. Are you going to come again?"
"I'd love to," Ruby responds smiling at Henry as he says his goodnights. They're quiet for a long time as they hear him walk across his bedroom, sorting his things. She knows he can't hear them, but she still lowers her voice. "So where do I sleep tonight?"
"Depends on who goes to bed first."
Henry does, thankfully, because Ruby can't imagine sleeping alone anymore. She leaves for work the next morning as the two plan their day together, elated to see the joy in Regina's face once again. She falters, however, upon entering the diner and seeing Mary Margaret there. She smiles nervously at Ruby's entrance and waves her over.
It's busy, but Granny doesn't seem to mind when she sees Ruby slip in the booth across from Mary Margaret.
"How are you?" The pixie-haired woman asks good-naturedly.
"Fine. Really good, actually. Henry's at the house so Regina's over the moon."
"Yeah, Emma mentioned that he was going to start staying over more. That's good." Ruby nods and looks down. There's so much going on in the diner, sometimes it's hard for her to think straight. She can hear conversations, chewing, heartbeats - one faster than all the rest that felt like it was hammering into her brain. "I wanted to apologize… for jumping to conclusions about Regina. You know David only had your best interests in mind, right? He said you two got so close while we were gone… this is really weighing on him."
"It's weighing on me too. I feel sick about hurting him." Her leg starts to bounce in time with the heartbeat, now actively trying to seek it out to ensure someone wasn't about to have a heart attack in the diner. "And about how I treated you. We're family."
"We are," Mary Margaret says in a relieved tone, a smile over taking her face. That's when Ruby realizes it, when her best friend's heartbeat slows to a normal rate as the nervous energy seems to leave her. "And I couldn't bear to lose you."
"Mary Margaret… I… are you free for, like, a half hour?"
"Oh. Um, of course. We could spend the day together if you want to, unless you have to get back to work." Mary Margaret pulls her jacket and stands from the booth, frowning a little as Ruby drags her from her spot and out of the diner. "Is something wrong?"
"Not… not exactly."
When she returns home that evening, she has a slight buzz from the energy rushing through her. Henry's already asleep, but Regina's sitting up in bed, reading a novel she seems to have picked up from the library. She raises her eyebrows as Ruby enters, pulling off her shirt.
"Good day at work?"
Ruby laughs and pulls out a long shirt to sleep in. "A very, very good day."
"What made it so special?" Regina asks, setting her book down in her lap and accepting the kiss Ruby crawls over the bed to give her.
"Mary Margaret's pregnant."
