"Why would you allow one of your best friends to worry about... who the father of her child is?" the producer Theresa asked Claudia, though she was pretty sure of the answer.
"HER idea." Claudia grumbled, shaking her head. "The BSC was all her idea. She did it all. Meanwhile, here's me - using MY room for the meetings, MY phone, MY logo design. I was always the mediator, the one that held us all together when Kristy pissed everyone off. I put so much of myself, my concentration and my life into that business and what did I get? Sent back to the seventh fucking grade, that's what. You would think the fact that I co-ran a successful business at thirteen would have spoken for me, but no."
"So why did you decide to go along with her and have a baby?"
Smiling again, Claudia reached into her pocket and produced a Snickers bar as if by magic. Theresa was impressed. "Easy," she said, unwrapping the candy. "She's going to fall on her face so hard. She is going to fail, so miserably! She'll have her little brother's and sisters and her grandmother looking after her kid, just like her mother, and Karen's going to smother the poor kid wrapping it in sweater pants."
Theresa shuffled through her notes. "Karen... Kristy's stepsister? Are you saying she's dangerous?"
Claudia considered telling the woman about how poor Emily Jr. had seen her end. The poor rat had never seen that wig coming. "No, not dangerous. Just crazy."
Mary Anne had been second to get pregnant, after Stacey. The night after their first club meeting, she had gone immediately to Logans house to discuss the issue. As they lay on his bed, chastely holding hands, Mary Anne asked him, very timidly, if he wanted to have kids.
They had discussed it before of course. Four kids, a big apartment in New York City, a country home... they knew where they were going. So of course Logan said "Of course."
Mary Anne turned toward him. "Get as close as you can." Stacey had instructed her. "Seduction is about personal space. Make sure a part of you is somewhere near his penis."
She winced at the memory of the word "penis," but did just that, shifting her leg so that her hip was against his own. Logans entire body tensed. The rule of twelve inches. She never touched anything within a foot of his area. Of course it had happened by accident a few times, usually Logan being clumsy and accidentally rubbing against her.
"I think we would make wonderful parents." Mary Anne said dreamily, shifting even closer.
Logans eyes glazed over, and he began to sweat. "I uh- I do too. Really cute babies."
"Yes!" Mary Anne exclaimed. "Our baby will be so cute. And well behaved." She kissed him on the lips. "And smart."
Logan was astounded. She had never, ever acted this way before. He became excited. Three years. It had been three years, was this finally going to happen?
"Let's have a baby, Logan." Mary Anne said bravely, and reached down.
"I would have robbed a bank for her." Logan moaned. "I didn't realize she meant right then."
Theresa was sympathetic to this boy. They stood in his bedroom, where a crib had already been set up. "So, then what happened."
"We did it. It's kind of a blur. I'll tell you something, that girl is... NOT shy in bed." The look on his face was something between a smile and a grimace. "A real hellcat, as mah Daddy would say. But yeah, that's how it happened. For three weeks we did it every day. Then one day she texts me a picture of a positive pregnancy test. 'We did it, Daddy!' it says." Logan picked up a baseball off of his desk and stared at it for a moment. "That's okay, though. I'll be picked up right out of high school, major league. I'm sure of it."
"Are you angry?" Theresa asked.
"No. Not angry. I feel a little stupid for not knowing what she was saying when she said it. I can handle a kid, sure. I know I'm a guy," Logan said, lowering his voice, "but I've done a LOT of baby-sitting."
After the meeting Claudia had brooded over the assignment. She had so much trouble finding a boyfriend! How would she find a guy who wanted to have sex with her?
The following day she'd dressed her sexiest. A mesh shirt with a neon yellow bra worn on the outside, chaps with a matching neon yellow thong, and sparkly earrings in the shape of bacon strips that she had made herself. She didn't really know where to go from there, so she began to walk around town. After the third old man had stopped his car and offered her a ride, she decided this wasn't working. She obviously looked lost, not sexy. Besides, the stiletto heels she had on were starting to hurt her feet.
On TV, girls went to bars to find men to have sex with. Claudia knew she looked sophisticated enough to get into a bar. She worried about the Chilis in town though, because Mallory Pike's dad was ALWAYS there.
So she'd gone to The Cheescake Factory instead. A guy who liked cheesecake would be great!
"That's where I ran into Alan." She said with a sigh. "And I mean, he used to feel me up all the time in eighth grade, so."
"How long did it take?"
"We did it a few times that day, and for a few days after that. Then Kristy came along, and that kind of ruined things. I took my test the day after Mary Anne found out she was pregnant, and so was I." Claudia was halfway through a large container of brownies.
"And what happened when you told Alan?"
"He thought I was joking. He didn't believe me until about a month ago." She licked her fingers. "He's got a great sense of humor."
Because Stacey had been first to be pregnant, she took it upon herself to instruct the other girls on how to get themselves knocked up, too. She was practically an expert at it. She'd taken four pregnancy tests in her life. It was easier than testing her blood sugar.
When she had told her mother, Maureen had cried. Got all dramatic about being a grandmother at thirty-seven. Stacey had to put her in her place. "MOM! I can handle diabetes, I can handle New York City, I'm tough. I can handle a BABY. Jeez."
Her mother tried to convince her to terminate. "Your body, Stacey!" Maureen tried everything she could think of. "You're going to get all... fat and pimply... greasy hair..."
While Stacey shuddered at the thought of greasy hair, she knew her mother was being stupid. "MOM. Do you remember the time I wet the bed at the slumber party? I can handle a few pimples if I can handle that. Stop being so stupid. I'm going to call Daddy and get some money to decorate my room." She paused. "Oh, and I'll save some, of course! For diapers!"
"Daddy hired me a full-time nanny already." Stacey said, flipping her hair. "He still wants me to go to Cambridge. Such a workaholic."
"So all of the other girls are going to Cambridge, too?"
"Yes! Claudia is going to study REALLY hard this year so she can get in." Stacey replied. Kristy seemed to think they were all going to go to Yale, but no way Claud would do that. It's where Janine was.
"Do you know who the father of your baby is?"
Stacey frowned. "I think so. I'm not sure. I'm waiting to get a good look at Octavia. You like that name? My name is really Anastasia."
"I think that's lovely." Theresa replied, attempting not to gag.
