Chapter 2

It was too bright, the light in his room. He wanted desperately to turn it off, but he was afraid of the darkness lulling him to sleep, so he stayed laying stock still on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He let his mind wander to new places, to places he hadn't allowed it to touch since…well, ever. As he laid thinking and contemplating his situation, he missed the sound of his door slowly creaking open and the slight shuffling of feet as someone moved closer to his bed.

"Dean," the voice said hesitantly, like it was afraid of reprimands from its subject. It took him a moment to bring himself out of his thoughts to recognize the owner of the voice, Cas. "Sam sent me to talk to you. He's worried."

"And he thinks sending you will help?" Dean replied dryly, realizing too late how harsh he had sounded.

"I suppose he does," Cas said simply.

"How are you feeling, Cas? I mean, being human and all." Dean said, diverting the subject away from himself.

"It's…different." Cas came over and sat on the bed with Dean, still unaware of the concept of personal space. It also bothered him to see Cas without his trench coat, to see him in normal jeans and a t-shirt, but Dean understood that the fallen angel now felt things such as heat and the uncomfortable feeling of a suit. "I never realized how strongly humans feel." He echoed Dean's thoughts.

"Did you lose everything?" He asked. He realized that in the three months of him becoming human, Dean had never really talked to him about it. He just helped him the best he could and avoided this conversation.

"Yes, I lost everything." There seemed to be a hitch in his voice that Dean never remembered hearing before.

"I can't pretend to know what you're going through," Dean began, "to see your whole family fall and lose everything, but Cas, for everything that's happened to you, for all that you feel you may have lost, you'll always have us. You'll always have me and Sam." He sat up in bed and laid a reassuring hand on Cas's shoulder, turning him to look at him.

"Thank you, Dean." He stared at him openly, seeming to search Dean's eyes for something. "It is nice to know I have a home, even if my real one is closed to me forever."

"It may not be forever," Dean tried to cheer him up.

"It will be, Dean." Cas's expression hardened, "You will not do as Michael asks."

"How did you…?" He began to ask how he knew what Michael was asking him to do, because he never told Sam or Cas what Michael wanted him to do. He knew Cas knew him well, knew he was able to be in his dreams when he was an angel, but could he now, now that he was human?

"I can't see your dreams anymore, but I do know that you have been dreaming of Michael, which leads me to conclude, since the angels have fallen, that he is asking you break him free so he can fix the mess up here." Cas grabbed Dean's shoulder, "Dean, you must ignore him and do not indulge him. Don't speak to him, don't let him know you can hear him. He can be very dangerous, even in dreams."

"I won't, Cas," he promised.

"Now, I should probably go tell Sam I have talked to you, and that everything is okay." He paused as he stood up, "It is okay, right Dean?" He heard the edge of warning in his tone, telling him that Cas meant it when he said for Dean to ignore Michael, so he conceded and told him everything was fine. "Good," he said as he left Dean to his thoughts.


"Sam," Cas said as he entered the library. "Dean is alright."

"He hasn't been sleeping, though," Sam looked up, worry gleaming in his eyes as his brow creased.

"We had a good talk," he replied evenly while taking a seat in the chair next to Sam, "I think he will be okay."

"What did you talk about?" Cas considered the question for a moment, contemplating on whether he should tell Sam about what Michael wants, or whether he should let Dean do that. He decided it would probably be best for Dean to inform Sam of Michael's intentions, since it seemed not his place to reveal Dean's secrets. He didn't understand fully why Dean didn't tell him, but he figured he had his reasons.

"We talked about my humanity," he answered instead, "it was nice to talk to Dean as a friend again."

"He has been rough on you lately," Sam commented.

"I believe he means well. I think he is just having trouble balancing getting you better and working with me on humanity." He paused a moment, "Have you noticed the weight Dean's lost, though?"

"Huh?" Sam looked up, "No, I haven't. Has he?"

"Yeah," Cas said. He realized too late that his words would make Sam worry more about his brother and probably get himself into trouble with Dean, but it bothered him how Dean seemed to be spiraling downward and Sam didn't notice except for his lack of sleep.

"Are you sure you're not just imagining it?" Sam asked incredulously.

"I'm certain." Stop, Cas. He told himself, Dean isn't going to be happy to know you brought this up to Sam. "He's been eating less and drinking more."

"I know about the drinking." Sam almost whispered.

"And you haven't said anything?"

"I did, in passing, but he blew me off." He finally looked up to Cas again, to see the serious expression he was wearing on his face, willing Sam to help his brother. "He won't talk to me Cas, about anything. That's why I sent you in, figuring he may be more willing to talk you."

"Why would he be more willing to talk to me?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I figured it couldn't hurt."

"It didn't."

"Was he sleeping when you went in?"

"No."

"I'm going to go talk to him." Sam got up and began walking over to Dean's room. Cas sat still in the chair and began thinking. He saw the look in Dean's face that said he was lying when he told Cas he would ignore Michael. He knew Dean better then Dean thought he did, and it bothered him that he would lie about this. He guessed that it shouldn't bother him, since Dean lies about almost everything concerning himself, but it did. If they were brothers, as Dean said, then shouldn't he tell him the truth? What was Dean hiding behind his lies


Dean sat on his bed with a bottle of…he wasn't exactly sure what it was, just that it helped make his head foggy and helped him forget about his dreams. He finished off the bottle and decided to lie day, to try to sleep. He knew he couldn't go forever without sleep, and so figured he may as well try again. He had made damn sure though that he drank that whole bottle to help put him under, but he had a nagging feeling that it wouldn't help as much as he needed it to.

"Dean," he heard come from the doorway.

Now what? He grumbled to himself in his head as he looked to see Sam standing there hesitantly.

"I'm sorry, were you sleeping?"

"Not yet," he slurred. The words tasted funny in his mouth as he said them and couldn't quite figure out why, but he had an idea that it had to do with the drink he just finished.

"Do you want some sleeping pills?" Sam asked, which bothered Dean. He almost never offered those to him, because he didn't want Dean to get addicted. He was also wary of accepting them, because what if Michael would visit him in his dreams and he wouldn't be able to wake up?

It didn't matter though, he needed sleep, and so he agreed and took some before sinking back onto his pillow and closing his eyes.


Soft sunlight bounced off the gentle waves of the small lake as Dean cast into it a fishing rod. He sat back on a chair, a cold beer in his hand, Sammy and Cas sitting next to him. He smiled at each in turn, happy to teach them both a little about fishing, and also happy to just have some quiet down time with them.

"Leaves are falling all around, it's time I was on my way," Dean began singing, and smiled as both Sam and Cas joined in on the next verse, "Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay."

He sat back and sang and caught a few perch before he stood up and walked into the forest behind them, slowly fading from his dream into a deep nothingness.