A twist in fate chapter 2 Sesshomaru's POV
Soft footfalls fell upon the soft bedding of earth, covered with a fresh tuft of long green grass that swayed carelessly in the wind, strands of silver hair joined in the blades, dancing in the subtle breeze. With every elegant step taken, it was another step closer to seeing Rin.
"Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru! Please wait for me! "The little toad yelped, stumbling after the large, elegant, but also perfect demon ahead of him; it was the demon lord of the west, Sesshomaru. However, it seemed that the little green demon's efforts were in vain, for Sesshomaru did not stop for him. Instead, he continued walking; despite the horrendously shrill cries that left the imp's mouth."Lord Sesshomaru!" He cried again, "Why are we even bothering with this stupid human girl? Hasn't she caused enough trouble over the years!?"Jaken complained, urgently trying to catch up.
Sesshomaru stopped, and turned his body ever so slightly so that his amber hues could fall upon Jaken's wart ridden face, glaring intently; which instantly stopped him in his tracks; silencing the next sentence that was about to come from his triangular lips. If another ill-spoken word came from his mouth about Rin, surely Sesshomaru would kill him. The little green companion that served him was the epitome of noisy; which often caused a headache after each of his annoying squawks pierced his poor ears, heightened senses were not always a luxury, but more often than not a nuisance; at least being in the presence of Jaken.
"I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru! Please don't be angry with me! " Begged the little green imp, Sesshomaru briskly turned away from him and continued down their path towards the village. His face returning to the stoic mask, blatantly ignored Jaken's pleas as he sat on his knees bowing to him repeatedly.
Sesshomaru knew very well that he was late, intentionally missing Rin's birthday so that she had time to get her thoughts in order, He was not a man of patience, and he expected by the time he arrived that she would provide him with an answer to his question: To rejoin him, or remain in the village, if she chose to stay his visits would ultimately cease, but he would provide her with a suitable dowry if needed. Though, every time he'd asked if she was happy there, she'd always wished for him to take her with him later on. No matter how much time had passed, Rin remained loving, and loyal. In her younger years, he visited her more often than he did as she grew older, each time adding a week or two, and then a month or two to his next visit, slowly allowing her to transition from relying on him to relying on herself, as everyone else taught her to. Though, it was always a struggle of his patience to wait to see her again, rather than giving into the battle within himself to see her every day.
When he visited her, she was nothing but all smiles and delightful sounding giggles, sometimes she'd hum along while picking at the blades of grass surrounding her body when they sat in an empty, flower-ridden clearing; when they had time to just themselves; hidden away from the speculative human eyes in the village. To this day Sesshomaru still didn't like humans, in fact he still hated them, and he didn't care for the group much either. However he didn't regret saving their lives. He forgave Sango, though he'd never admit that he did, but the day they killed Naraku she offered her mask to Rin to keep her from being poisoned by his toxic miasma, in his eyes she redeemed herself from nearly killing his ward for her brother's sake, but that didn't mean he liked her, or anyone else for that matter. Although, if he had to choose another human aside from Rin, it would have to be the old miko he entrusted her with.
It was the dead priestess's younger sister, Kaede. Though by all the wrinkles that marred her complexion, she was anything but young. He could easily hold a conversation without being rudely interrupted, or questioned, and she was wise, and obliged to every quest he'd asked for, and she never bombarded him with questions, other than making sure when she died, Rin would be taken care of. So, intern, whenever he came to bring a gift to Rin, he often left money for the old miko, his way of thanking her, but he would never share anymore gifts to anyone other than Rin.
She always received the best of kimonos made from elegantly woven silk threads, scrolls for both human, and demon customs, building her the abilities to read, and to write. But also to understand the levels of class demons, and humans had. However, he gave her more than just elegantly embroidered clothing, and scrolls; once a year he'd send Jaken to deliver beautifully crafted hair combs, and expensive makeup if she chose to wear it, but he always provided her with clothing anytime he or Jaken visited. He noticed her growth and he wouldn't have her wearing anything less than what he provided for her.
If she did not chose to remain at his side, he collectively ensured her a life of prosperity, she had better education than most lords who ruled, and she was physically fit to defend herself, for the most part. But not only that, by being Sesshomaru's ward, he raised her social class. However, he and other demons knew very well that she was the daughter of a poor farmer, and a family who could hardly support themselves, but despite the knowledge he knew of her, it didn't change who she was in his eyes. The only person that he'd ever loved, and cared for, a friend he knew he could trust, and he knew that she loved him too. When he brought her back to the life of the living, she gave him purpose. Though, he would never admit to his feelings, his pride left him defeated, but he still had his ways of showing he cared, but he knew that keeping a distance would be safer for them both.
When Jaken did not leave him with a headache, he often stayed up all night staring up into the stars, wondering to himself if he loved her the way the his stupid half brother loved his mate, he didn't understand why he made the choice to see her, involve her in his life, why he allowed himself to feel the feelings he felt, why he even bothered with someone so pathetic, weak, amazing.. He would never understand the first day they met in the forest, when she chose to take care of him rather than satiating herself with the food he never ate, water he never drank, and bandages she could have made use of rather than letting them waste away by his feet. Though, it irritated him that she wouldn't let him rest, he could hear her foot steps as she ran around the forest trying to find different things for him to eat, or she would stand behind trees and watch him, trying to stay hidden away even though he could easily sense her by his exquisite hearing, or by the smell of dirt caked on her body. But the instant he saw her smile after his minor inquisitions of her injuries, she didn't say a word, instead smiling through the swollen whelp on her eye, opened wounds on her body, and the chipped tooth, he knew then that she was different than any other human he allowed long enough to live.
He never allowed himself to take the things she offered him, but in some sense he appreciated her undeniable sense of loyalty, she was selfless even if her injuries weren't severe or even a hindrance to a demon, but for a human they were rather painful, she still tried her best to provide for him. He could hear how badly she was abused, beaten for "stealing" fish from a river that everyone else could supposedly steal from, he heard everything the villagers said about her, feeling no
She may not have restored his faith in humanity, but in some way when he brought her back to life after being slaughtered from wolves, she saved him from himself. He didn't realize it until the second time he lost her, throughout his many centuries of being to himself, that day he never felt so empty. Sesshomaru never would have thought this was where they would be now, in such a short matter of time, he may not have believed this was how he would behave towards a human, actually forgiving rather than just taking his anger, and his hatred out on everyone. The sparkle in her delightfully hazel eyes stopped him, oddly calming his enraged spirit, internally gripping his lungs, effortlessly taking his breath away. She was a rare beauty; she was marvelous in every essence of the word. She grew into a fine physique, the right width of her hips to bare children, elegantly flowing hair, flawless complexion, and her scent… reminding him of peach blossoms in the spring, gifting him the bittersweet taste of nostalgia, being reminded of how much life one little human could have dwelling all around her, and the light that pierced through his icy stature.
In a way Rin frustrated him, because he was still frustrated with himself. His mother, who had no compassion and only really cared for the power Sesshomaru offered her because of his stature, never paid much attention to him in the emotional sense. He was always turned off to his feelings, he didn't know how to, he always thought they were useless, the only way to get through life is to be the one to survive, he lived up to his name; Killing perfection. However, with just an utter of a word, Rin weakened him, changing his mind, making him feel things he didn't want to feel, and ultimately frustrating him completely. He never understood why he didn't leave, he always thought that she was just in the way, but he still stayed. She made him go against himself, the way he chose to be, and she was bringing out who he was, what he inherited from his father, when he chose to be like his emotionally disengaged mother.
Sesshomaru knew that he loved Rin, he may not have wanted to, but the way he did was undefined. He couldn't concentrate on his feelings without overly frustrating himself, without making himself angry for the choices he made, angry at his father for making him feel love and compassion for a human, but he was also angry with his mother for only being concerned for the power he had to offer. Though, despite all of his internal frustrations, it always made him feel better knowing that Rin loved him when no one else did. Everyone he was around either feared him, or wished to kill him. Despite all of his spoils, all she ever wanted from him was his love for her, which he gave through presents. His pride wouldn't allow him to show it in the ways Inuyasha could his mate, and it made him jealous; it infuriated him, he hated his brother for being a half demon, because he had freedom to love, and yet he was so weak, and Sesshomaru did not. He always loved her subtle touches, her hand grazing across his, leaning against his arm, or trying to sit as close to him as she could without touching his body, he could feel her warmth, melting his icy heart and making him feel at whole the times he was with her, but she also left him with an unnerving sense of fear.
For the joy he felt, he knew that eventually he'd face tragedy if his way of love meant to make her his mate. They would both face an inevitable death that he could not stop either from her human weaknesses, the people who wished to overthrow the dominance he held, or to take the one thing that restored life to his bones, Rin. He may be able to give her eternal life as Inuyasha had to his mate, making her forever young, and giving her extended life until he were to die, but she would just become a target, so no matter how much this unusual heart of his yearned for more attention from Rin, he would deny himself from all of it, for once he wished she'd chose to be away from him because he surely wouldn't be able to send her away from him.. But she didn't want her to cause an insufferable death for his pleasure, by the time he was ready to choose her as a mate he doubted that he ever could. His pride strangled him, suffocating his yearning with the cruel fate of reality, saving him from the stupid decisions he would have easily made, but it also pushed him back into solitude once again- he didn't know what to fear most, being alone, or losing Rin.
By the time they arrived to the village, his thoughts had absorbed most of the time he spent walking, distracting himself from listening to Jaken's cries as he continued to beg for him to wait, while pulling along the two headed demon, A-un, he sometimes wondered by the noises the two made if Jaken got on their nerves as he did on Sesshomaru's. He turned his head and with a swift motion with his foot pushed him forward. "Go get her, and if she's coming take A-un to load her belongings onto him." He said flatly, taking a seat onto the ground, resting against a tree as he waited, patiently.
"…So many colors in this distraction,
Brown hair makes her lips more red,.
Words won't describe what I'm seeing ,and I'm trying to hold my tongue but it's useless!
She makes my heart scream color, and I know but now she should have found me out.
Every sense I have been exhausted, but color makes her smile.
She's always waiting for me to speak, but all she hears is whitest noise.
Even though I may not communicate, in my heart she knows the color I'm screaming!
She makes my heart scram color, I know by now she should have found me out-
And in every sense I have has been exhausted, but color makes her smile-"
Colors by: Barcelona.
