Let Go Brother
Again, sorry for how long it takes me to get chapters out. This may appear to be the last chapter, but it isn't. There will be an epilogue of sorts to follow. I've also decided to go ahead with a sequel to Let Go Brother, but it will be a tad different. It will be a Prince Caspian fic, and it will focus more on Edmund as a character, and his relationships with Lucy and Peter. So I hope everyone enjoys the conclusion to my fic, and there should be an epilogue up shortly after. Reviews are love, even critical ones!
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For one moment Edmund finally allowed himself to feel something he never thought he would have the chance to feel again: freedom. For the first time in ages he felt like he could breathe freely once again. The weight of his mistakes were no longer straining his shoulders, about to snap him in two. Aslan had defeated the White Witch and now Narnia was free, with the Pevensies to rule over it. Edmund had accomplished what he set out to do, help save Narnia. Edmund had been crowned King Edmund the Just, he was not to be High King of Narnia. That title was reserved for Peter, and he could not have been more proud of his brother.
"Peter deserves the title of High King, and of King Peter the Magnificent. Peter would never have made such a mess of things as I did." Edmund thought to himself.
Edmund had taken the opportunity to sneak away from the festivities of the coronation. After he and his siblings had been crowned as kings and queens of Narnia celebrations ensued, and although Edmund was happy, he was not in the mood for rejoicing. So while his other siblings were dancing about the great hall in their new home of Cair Paravel, Edmund was leaning against one of the balconies, holding his crown in his hands. Edmund began to fiddle with it, running his fingers along the silver pointed edges.
"So beautiful... but do I deserve it?" Edmund wondered.
"You know Edmund that is supposed to go on your head," said a voice from behind him.
Edmund recognized the voice; he'd never forget the sound of Peter's voice. Edmund turned toward it and saw Peter staring back at him with a small smile upon his lips and he smiled thoughtfully back at him. They had barely spoken since the battle so it was comforting to have Peter near him. In truth Edmund had been avoiding Peter, because despite things turning out alright, it was Aslan's doing, not his.
"I made a right awful mess of things... if it weren't for Aslan... Every time I look into Peter's eyes I feel ashamed. Being near him is tearing me apart, I feel safer when he's near but I can't shake this feeling of guilt. Every time I look into his eyes I'm suddenly reminded of everything I've done and this wave of confusion and guilt wash over me and I feel as if I'm drowning..." Edmund thought.
Peter watched as Edmund's smile faded and his expression grew solemn. Edmund shifted his gaze toward the ground and slowly yet unsteadily turned back toward the balcony. Edmund hoped that was enough to satisfy Peter, and he continued his focus on the crown in his hands. He felt Peter move against his back and watched as he wrapped his arms around him, and took the crown from his hands. Edmund turned to Peter and made an attempt to reach out for it, but Peter held him back.
"It's a weird feeling isn't it? Wearing a crown... but you deserve it Ed, much more than I do," Peter said.
Before Edmund could object Peter moved closer to his brother and carefully placed the silver crown back where it belonged. Edmund tensed as the crown was placed back on top of his head.
"You can't honestly mean that?" Edmund asked.
Peter sighed heavily, and moved beside Edmund. Peter leaned against the railing and looked out, focusing on the sea. Edmund watched Peter from the corner of his eye, waiting. He could not read his brother, Peter looked eerily calm, yet his words stated otherwise. If there was anything Edmund had faith in, that he truly believed in, it was Peter. Yes he had come to have faith in Aslan, after witnessing his compassion and forgiveness, but Aslan was not Peter, and could never replace Peter or that of the place Edmund had for Peter in his heart. Edmund therefore could not understand why Peter would not have faith in himself, he had done nothing wrong.
"I let you down... I wasn't there when I should have been," Peter said.
"Peter, it was me who didn't listen. You told me to leave the battle; it was my own fault I got hurt. It was my decision to make. You were fighting on the battlefield, how could you have possibly known that I defied your direct orders to take on the White Witch myself? Like you said: I'm never going to learn to do as I'm told," Edmund retorted.
"No Ed... I mean in Finchley. I wasn't the big brother I should have been. You obviously needed me and I wasn't there. That's why you went to the White Witch... that's why all of this happened," Peter explained.
"Pete give me a little more credit than that... I can think for myself, I am independent of you. It was my decision to stay with the White Witch for as long as I did, and I'm mature enough to admit that. I'm taking responsibility for what I've done. Won't you at least give me that?" Edmund said.
Peter finally turned to face Edmund, and he was smiling. Relief washed over Edmund, Peter was finally beginning to understand, and to forgive. Peter placed his hand on Edmund's shoulder and gripped him tightly, but his emotion overtook him and his arm snaked around Edmund's neck pulling him into a fierce hug.
"I'm so sorry Ed..." Peter whispered into his ear.
"I- I'm sorry Pete..." Edmund choked out into his brother's chest.
Edmund pressed his face against the soft velvet material and began to sob against Peter's chest. He clung to his brother, gripping him tightly. Never before would Edmund have done this, particularly with the possibility of people witnessing it, but he no longer cared. It was over, it was finally over. Even though Edmund's repentance occurred long before this conversation, and he felt at ease before this conversation, he now knew that everything that had happened between Peter and himself was now over. Edmund and Peter had finally freed each other, and all that was left was to learn from their mutual mistakes and rule over Narnia together. The words of Aslan finally rung true: What's done is done. There is no need to speak to Edmund of what is past. In their futures together as kings of Narnia the issue would never come up again, except in the rare instances when Edmund himself would bring it up, only then to speak of Aslan's gracious nature or that all traitors have the ability to repent.
"Peter! Peter!" a voice called.
The brother's parted and quickly pulled themselves back together. Before Peter could fully recover and straighten himself out Lucy was hugging his waist. Peter instinctively put his arms around her in instant protection. Edmund placed his hand on Lucy's shoulder and turned her around gently, she was not crying but there was sadness etched across her face.
"What is it Lu?" Peter asked as he bent to one knee in order to eye level with his little sister.
"It's Aslan... he's left..." Lucy explained.
"Are you sure?" Edmund asked.
Lucy simply nodded in reply as she threw her tiny arms around Peter's neck. Peter wrapped his arms tightly around her because he knew not what to say to comfort her. Lucy was the most steadfast believer in Aslan, and his absence created a hole in her heart.
"You know Lu... just because Aslan isn't here with us physically does not mean he gone." Edmund said slowly.
Lucy pulled away from Peter and looked up at Edmund with hope in her eyes. Peter took Lucy's hands in her and stood back up, knowing what Edmund was getting at.
"You see Lu, Edmund means that as long as you believe in Aslan, and have love for him, he will never truly be gone," Peter continued.
Edmund smiled at Peter, both brothers understood why Aslan left. It was now the Pevensie's time to rule over Narnia, and Aslan had faith in them that they would not constantly need him to be there. Aslan was somewhere watching over them, and his presence was always felt, but it was their time now.
"Exactly, and he would not want you to be sad. If you believe, you will see him again. Until then, we must all do our very best to rule over Narnia and serve our people," Edmund said.
"Edmund, when did you get so serious?" Lucy asked smiling brightly.
"When you weren't looking!" Edmund chuckled and removed her crown ruffling her hair
"Edmund!" Lucy shrieked.
Edmund held her crown in the air, forcing Lucy to jump in an attempt to reach it. A month ago Edmund would have been doing such a thing out of spite, with Lucy's favourite stuffed bear, threatening to never give it back. Now though, things simply felt different. Peter watched on laughing, Lucy was giggling, Edmund was smiling, and Susan came and snatched the crown back when Edmund wasn't looking. As Edmund stuck out his tongue at Susan, she placed the crown back on Lucy's head. It was all in good fun. The Pevensie's had come so far together in such a short period of time. Lucy took Edmund's hand and led him out to the dance floor, forcing him to quite awkwardly dance with her, but he did so gladly.
As Edmund twirled Lucy about the dance floor, causing her to giggle in sheer happiness, he noticed Peter watching him from the balcony. Edmund smiled and nodded at Peter, his brother was going to be a great king, magnificent in fact. Now Edmund was finally able to let go.
