A/N:Sorry it's taken me so long to update, work is hectic at the moment and I'm trying to catch up on all my fics. Thanks again to everyone who's still reading :) This covers chapter 9 of TDL.
Despite asking her to leave Naomi comes back from my room after she's changed back in to her clothes and she's just standing there staring at me all mopey eyed as I slam around in the kitchen looking for something for lunch. I've got another shoot soon and I don't want to waste my lunch hour hearing about how guilty she feels for what happened between us. I really don't need that right now. "Please Naomi…just go." I ask her again but she still doesn't make any move to leave and those damn baby blue eyes are staring right in to me.
"Are you…are you ok?"
Like she even fucking cares. She's never cared about me, it's always been Emily and that's still what this is about. I can see the panic in her eyes, she doesn't want me telling Emily what happened between us; not that I ever would. I happen to enjoy breathing. "When the fuck have you ever cared if I was ok? We fucked Naomi, that's it. You don't have to start buying me flowers and asking how my day was." I snap at her, trying to make it easier for both of us to just walk away from this. Naomi's never been one to do things the easy way though.
"Three times." She corrects me, like she's fucking keeping score, and it just makes my mood even worse.
"What do you want, a fucking medal?" I watch as she tries not to smirk, but her lips curl up anyway as she shrugs at me. It's almost enough to make me forget I'm angry; almost.
"Well if you think I'm that good." God she can be such a bitch sometimes; but her cockiness manages to get a laugh from me as I roll my eyes at her.
"Don't flatter yourself Campbell…I've had better."
Her eyes narrow as soon as the words leave my mouth and I'd swear she even sounds jealous as she huffs back, "Right, Effy?" It's my turn to smirk as I realise just how much my earlier remark rattled her. In all honesty she's pretty damn good in bed, but I'm not about to stroke her ego or anything else by telling her that; especially when teasing her is so fun.
"Aww, don't worry babes, you're not the worst."
"Fuck you Katie." She pouts at me and it's fucking adorable. I just can't help but wind her up some more.
"Not exactly top ten but-" I don't get to finish as she pushes me back against the kitchen bench and her lips latch on to mine. I'm not sure whether she's just trying to shut me up or if she intends to change my mind about just how good she is in bed. As much as I would love to let her prove herself I only have an hour for lunch and I'm still feeling a little put off by Emily's voicemail."I've got an hour till I have to get back to the shoot. You might be good in bed Campbell, but I'm starving, I need to get some lunch." I try to force an air of indifference in to my voice, but with my lips still tingling from her kiss it's hard to do. I turn my attention back to looking for something to eat so that I'm not tempted to give in and pull her in for another kiss.
"So I am good in bed?" She grins smugly and I roll my eyes at her in response. "Where's your shoot? We could go for some lunch? My treat?"
"Fine." I give in with an exaggerated sigh, though on the inside I'm secretly a little giddy at the prospect of Naomi offering to buy me lunch. I expected her to run for the hills when I heard Emily's voice on the answerphone, not ask to take me out. It might not exactly be a date, but I'll take it. I need to talk to her anyway. "Where are you taking me?"We end up in a little café in town that does gorgeous hot chocolate and I end up having a Panini while Naomi just has a coffee."So…" She starts, looking up at me with those big blue eyes, but that's as far as she gets. She falls silent and whatever she was about to ask remains unsaid. I seize the opportunity to change the subject and bring up what I wanted to talk to her about before things kicked off this morning.
"I've got a favour to ask. I've got a shoot in Milan over the weekend. I need you to stay with Effy; but it has to seem like it's your idea. She hates me making a fuss-"
"She'll see right through this." She rolls her eyes at me like I'm annoying her. Well she's annoying me. Of course Effy will see right through it, Effy doesn't miss a fucking trick. She could at least try.
"Well just tell her your mum's doing your head in or something…and do a good fucking job of convincing her!" "How's she doing anyway? I mean is she still-" She trails off, like people usually do when they try to bring Effy's health up; like it's the hardest thing in the world to talk about. People usually ask me about her too. It's not like Effy's going to snap if they ask her directly. She's a lot stronger than she was a couple years ago; though I still don't like leaving her alone for more than a day or two.
"Crazy?" I finish for her and she blushes. I know I'm being extra bitchy today but things aren't exactly going to plan; not that I planned to sleep with my sister's ex-girlfriend, though I've got to admit I've thought about it plenty of times. I really wish Emily hadn't called. I wish she was staying in Leeds for the summer so I could finally get my chance to be the centre of Naomi's attention. I know that's selfish, but I can't help it. I liked having Naomi hanging on my every word, even if it was only for a couple of days. "She's doing ok. I just hate leaving her alone. So just talk to her, please?" I add in a softer tone and the blonde relents with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Yeah, sure. I'll have a word with Effy. So what are you doing in Milan?""I've got a shoot for Versace. I managed to get this model that is so in demand. It's gonna be ace."Versace is definitely making a comeback this year and I've managed to score a shoot with the hottest model in Italy right like that will definitely get me more work. Not that I really need it though, I've got plenty of offers coming in.
"When did you get in to photography anyway?" She quizzes and I know what she really wants to ask iswhen did I get half a brain and stop wanting to be a WAG? I shrug at her as I pick at my lunch and give her the short version. "Found a camera a couple years ago. I was just messing about, took some photos…got some shots of a few celebs in clubs and sold them to the papers." I shrug again, trying to play it down. The truth is finding that camera changed my life. I suddenly started seeing a lot more of the world when I started looking at it through a lens and after Freddie's death and Effy's breakdown taking my camera out for the afternoon was a welcome escape; the fact that I make money out of it now is just a bonus.I'm not as stupid as people think. Just because I'm in to fashion and makeup that doesn't mean I can't be interested in art and knowwho people like Douglas Kirkland and Dorothea Lange are.
"There's a photography exhibit on at the Gallery next week…I don't know if it's any good-" Naomi starts but I interrupt her, panic welling up in me at the thought of her going to the first exhibition that I'll be showing my private work.
"Not my kind of thing." I dismiss her with a flick of my hair, playing up to the bimbo Barbie role she expects from me. "I need to be at my shoot in ten minutes…you can come if you want. Just don't fucking perv."
"When do I perv?" She snaps back, looking offended by the very suggestion; even though we both know where her eyes have been for the last half an hour.
"You've been staring down my top since we sat down Campbell." I role my eyes at her, but in all honesty it's not like I haven't been deliberately sitting forward to give her a better view.
I take her with me to the warehouse down by the docks that we're shooting in and by the time we get there it's full of models, makeup artists and crew rigging lighting. I love this world, I really do. I shrug off my coat and start shouting for people to do as I say and I'm in my absolute element as I oversee everything, bringing the shoot together. The real fun starts when I finally get to start taking pictures, swapping lenses and playing with angles; constantly searching for that perfect shot. Of course it's a bit hard to take the perfect picture when I'm missing models. I have a feeling I know where Gia's got to though and sure enough when I look over to the crate Naomi's been sitting on I find her hovering over the blonde. I hear her inviting her to dinner and my fiery Fitch temper flares. "Gia! Do you want paid today?" She waves me off and promises she'll just be a second, but it's not her I'm really bothered about. I glare at Naomi, even though I know it's Gia doing all the blonde shoots me a frustrated look in return before she goes back to playing with her phone. I go back to my shoot and pretty much ignore her until I ask her to go fetch me a coffee. I'm not really sure why I asked her to come, I knew I'd be too busy to really spend any time with her, but it's just nice having her around; and maybe part of me just wanted to show off to her. "Would you mind getting me a coffee babes? Everything's going tits up and I'm going to be stuck here another hour at least."
"Sure no problem." She pockets her phone and gets to her feet, her hand finding my arm as she passes me.
She takes ages getting me the coffee and I almost think she's ran off when she finally shows up with an extra strong coffee and a Danish pastry that looks delicious. She really can be sweet sometimes. "Thanks." I take the bag with the pastry in it from her, my fingers brushing against hers and she manages a small smile in return. After that all hell breaks loose again as one of the models snaps the heel of a thousand pound pair of shoes and once again my attention is taken away from the blonde. After a while she gets up and starts wandering around the warehouse, exploring it like a little kid. Hours after we first got to the warehouse the shoot is finally finished and I have some shots that are useable. They're not great but I can't take another three hours in this dank old my equipment is safely packed up I try to track Naomi down and look through some of the shots as I go.
It takes a while but I eventually find her perched up on some scaffolding by a small window. The late afternoon sun streams through the murky glass, highlighting her form and I can't help myself as I bring my camera up and take a picture of her. The flash of light catches her attention and she looks straight at me as I take a few more shots. I let the camera hang from my neck as I tackle the scaffolding, wishing I hadn't worn such ridiculous heals. I let off a yawn as I take a seat beside her. It's been a really long day and it's not over yet.
I don't say anything to her as I flick through the pictures I've taken. There are a few good shots, but the best one by far is the first one I took; the one where she's lost in thought and doesn't know she's being watched. I love natural shots like that. The light from the window frames her like a halo and I make sure to save the picture to the memory card. "Best picture I've taken all day." Sometimes I get a bit tired of all of this fakery. Of all the makeup and spray tans, the designer shoes and the tedious tantrums. I love my job, I really do, but sometimes I wish I could make as much money working on my exhibition pieces as I do on these magazine shoots.
"Gia wanted me to give you this." I pull out one of my own business cards from my jacket pocket. Gia's scrawled her number on it for the other girl and I begrudgingly hand it over. I feel my gut twisting as she takes it and puts it in her pocket. I'd feel a lot happier if she'd ripped it up in front of me.
"She asked me out." She admits and I'm not sure whether she's trying to make conversation or just wants to see my reaction. I try to brush it off, even though I'm pissed off at her for keeping the number.
"She asks everyone out." I shrug like it's no big deal; which it isn't really. Gia does ask everyone out. "Even had a pop at Effy once."
"Effy shags anyone." I know she's trying to rile me, and maybe once I would have fallen for it, started kicking off and acting like a bitch; but I'm not seventeen anymore and Naomi Campbell can't play me that easily. "Maybe I'll give her a call…"
"Maybe you should." I snap at her, finally letting my jealoust get the better of me; of course she calls me on it straight away.
"Jealous?" She smirks at me as I glare back at her, like this is some kind of game that she's trying to win. She doesn't get it. She doesn't see just how pissed off I am. She doesn't see how much I care.
"Fuck you Naomi!" I growl at her and turn to climb down the scaffolding. I don't get very far though as she grabs hold of my wrist.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Her words are as cold as her stare and I can't stop my hand from slapping her across the face.
"It'll be the last."
I'm done. I'm done fucking chasing her. I'm Katie Fucking Fitch for Christ's sake! People are supposed towant me. Naomi is supposed to want me!Emily was never right for her, too quiet, too much of a push over. Naomi needs someone to put her in her place.
"Katie-" She calls out to me and follows me back down the scaffolding. "For fuck's sake! Katie!" She snaps like she's the only one who's upset about everything that's happened. Like she's the only one who's hurting right now.
"What?" I turn to face her, directing all of my anger at her. "Go ask Gia out, fuck her for all I care!"
"Yeah, cause you obviously don't care in the slightest!" She shouts back and it's like a red flag to a raging bull.
Except I can't bring myself to carry on shouting. We both know that whatever happened between us was a onetime thing. It would never work between us, there's too much water under the bridge and Naomi's still hung up on Emily. I need to be the one who backs down first, while we still have some sort of friendship left between us, or else this is all going to blow up in our faces and we're going to end up going back to pretending to hate each other.I deflate like a burst balloon. I'm too tired to keep fighting for something that's never going to work. "Can we just not?" I sigh at her. "I don't want to talk. I don't want to fight…I just…I don't know what I want, ok?" Except I do. I want her. I've always wanted her.
I want her to want me back for once. To make a stand and to fight for me the way she fought for Emily; but she doesn't. She just gives up. "Maybe we should just keep away from each other?"
"Maybe." I reply, my voice quiet and strained. "I'll give you a ride home. My flight's Friday morning, so why don't you come over tonight and tell Effy you want to stay? I'm babysitting Albert tonight, so you know…"
"Ok. I'll call round later…to see Eff."
I make sure I'm out of the flat before she comes over and end up at Lara's an hour earlier than I'm supposed to be. Being the amazing best friend she is she instantly pops the kettle on, tells JJ to go bath Albert and sits me down at the kitchen table with a stern expression. "What's going on, Katie?"
"I fucked up, like usual." I try to laugh and end up choking as a sob escapes my lips. My eyes well up with tears and before I know it Lara has her arm around me and my face is buried in her shoulder. "I love her Lara…I'm fucking in love with her and I hate it!" Because she'll never love me back. She'll never want me and we both know it.
