My night of babysitting was pretty uneventful, Albert fell asleep before Lara and JJ had even left, so I spent the evening curled up on the sofa watching crap television and eating all of Lara's ice-cream. She won't hold it against me; god knows I needed some comfort food. My head's a mess right now and I just don't know what the fuck to think about Naomi. I shouldn't even be thinking about her. I should just forget what's happened between us and go back to being a bitch to her. Being bitchy is easy, it's practically second nature. Katie Fitch, grade A bitch.
So when I walk in to the living room of my flat and find a certain blonde sprawled across my sofa my tone is dry and dismissive. "You're still here then?" I go straight in to the kitchen and yank open the fridge door to help myself to a beer, anything to divert my eyes away from her. She's lying on the sofa, her hair tied back and her t-shirt riding up her stomach and it would be so easy to go and climb on top of her right now, but I don't. I grip my beer so hard my knuckles are turning white and bring it to my lips; hoping alcohol will take the edge off.
"No, I went home hours ago." She replies off hand, her attention still glued to the idiot box as she watches some low budget horror film. She doesn't even have the decency to look at me.
"You should have." I slam the fridge door shut, finally getting her attention as I make my feelings clear.
"Fine, I'll go. I just thought you'd appreciate me keeping Eff company tonight." Now I definitely feel like a bitch. She's only here because I asked her to talk Effy in to letting her stay the weekend.
She stands up and I almost open my mouth to stop her leaving, but she doesn't head for the door. Instead she comes over to me and leans against the fridge. Her head rests against the door as she looks down at me with those deep blue eyes of hers. I think one day I might actually drown in them. "What's wrong?" She actually sounds like she cares.
"Nothing-" I grumble at her, trying to push past her, but she tries to grab my wrist to stop me. Her hand slips lower though and we end up holding hands. I stare at our joined hands, like they belong to some other people; but then Naomi's thumb brushes against my palm and I can't deny it's my hand she's holding. It's too much, too intimate. I pull away and try to dismiss her again. "Leave it Naomi. I'm tired yeah?" I pick up my beer and storm past her to take her place on my sofa. "Yeah, me too." I hear her muttering under her breath as she opens the fridge and takes out a beer for herself; looks like she's not leaving anytime soon. She comes over and sits beside me. "So, I asked Effy about staying over here. She's fine with. She knows you're going away though." Of course she does. Effy knows fucking everything.
"Figures." I grumble as I spread out on the sofa, throwing my legs over the blonde's lap. "Fuck are you watching?" I scowl at the shit horror film she's watching. I take the remote and begin flicking through the channels, looking for something decent to watch. "I was watching that!"
"My house, my clicker." I dangle the remote in front of her face; I can see it's pissing her off but she's cute when she's mad so I carry on doing it all the more when she tries to snatch it from me.I raise it above my head and giggle as she tries in vain to grab it.
Never one to give up she ends up climbing on to my lap to try and reach it. Her body is warm and flush against me and her face is inches away. I lean in and press my lips to hers, catching her off guard. She forgets all about the remote and starts kissing me back. I push her down so that she's lying on her back and straddle her waist. She doesn't stop me. We kiss for a while, neither of us tries to take things any further and it's nice. For once it's not about sex and we're not rushing to tear each other's clothes off. For a while I can pretend that this actually means something to her too. Eventually we stop kissing and just lie together, my head resting on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. Her arms wrap around me as her eyes settle on the screen. I feel utterly exhausted and I'm far too comfy for my own good. My eyes begin to close over. I drift off after a while and I only wake up when I feel Naomi moving underneath me. She settles again and we both fall asleep together.
The next time I wake up it's early and I'm aching all over from spending half the night on the sofa. Naomi's still fast asleep and I carefully climb over her to make my way to bed; putting the blanket from the back of the sofa across her before I go. When I reach my door Effy's opens. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares down at me with a smirk. "You two looked cosy."
"Just don't Eff, please?" I sigh, not in the mood for her usual mind games. I've got to be up early to get to Heathrow to catch my flight. She shrugs and for a moment I think I might actually be able to crawl in to bed without any more melodrama; it's wishful thinking.
"It's one thing to fuck your sister's ex Katie; it's another to fall in love with her."
My grip tightens on my bedroom door handle as I stare straight ahead, fighting the urge to fly off the handle. As much as I'd like to think I've grown up in the last two years I know that I could quite easily slip back in to the screaming teenager I've tried so hard to leave behind. Effy and I settled our differences a long time ago. She bashed my head in with a rock; but she was ill, even back then, we just didn't know it at the time. She stole Freddie from me; but I didn't want him, not really. I wanted something I couldn't have. I wanted Naomi Campbell. I wanted to be as strong as Emily, to admit that I had feelings for a girl; but when Emily came out to the world I felt like everyone was suddenly looking at me. I heard the whispers at college, the rumours about whether I was straight or not, and I just couldn't deal with it. I couldn't be loud and proud like Emily. I couldn't be as brave as my little sister.
"What if she wants me back?" I bite my lip as I finally turn to face Effy. I know it's stupid to think that any of this means anything to Naomi, that when she asks how I'm feeling she's actually interested and not just being polite because we're occasionally shagging; but sometimes, like tonight, it feels like she might just want me back a tiny little bit. When Effy answers it's without hesitation as she presses her lips to my forehead and wraps her arms around me. The scars on her wrist are a distinct contrast the rest of her smooth skin and I feel them rub against my bare arms as she squeezes me tight.
"She does Kay, she does."
She kisses my cheek before she slips back in to her room as silently as she emerged from it. I swear sometimes it's like living with a ghost. I go in to my own room and slip under the covers of my bed. I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling as I wrestle over whether or not to go back in to the living room and wake Naomi up. I huff as I turn over, slam my fist in to my pillow in an attempt to make it less lumpy and then roll the other way, kicking the covers off me in frustration. I'm going to be in Italy tomorrow, sleeping in an expensive hotel and working on the biggest shoot of my career; but it's not the impending photo shoot that's keeping me wide awake, it's Naomi. I just don't know what I'm going to do with her. Even if she does want me back, then what are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to be together when she's my sister's ex? How am I supposed to do that to Emily? Fuck! This was never meant to happen. She was never supposed to look at me as more than just Emily's bitchy twin sister. I did everything I could to make her hate me, to keep us all safe, but then she had to come back to Bristol and give me her stupid shoes and her stupid coat and just be so fucking nice to me!
I lie awake for most of the night, watching the numbers on my alarm clock inch ever closer to my five a.m. wake up call. I drift in and out sometimes, slipping in to a light fitful sleep that makes me feel worse when the alarm clock finally begins screaming at me. I knock it off and drag myself out of bed. My suitcase is packed already so I just need to shower and get ready before I leave for London to catch my flight. Before long I'm sneaking around the living room, trying to figure out where I left my passport. I pause as I catch sight of Naomi curled up on the sofa, her head tucked under her arm and a peaceful expression on her face. She stirs and her eyes slowly open, focusing on me in the darkness. She fluffs at the platinum blonde hair that's stuck to the side of her face and yawns.
"What time is it?" She asks as I check my suitcase again for my passport. Her big blue eyes are soft and hazy and she looks adorable as she stretches, letting off a little groan.
"Early, go back to sleep." She ignores me as usual and asks what time my flight is as she sits up. "Ten. I'm leaving from Heathrow though so I've got to get to London before the traffic starts. I've left the number of the hotel on the fridge, there's some emergency cash in a jar in the cupboard if Effy needs it-"
"How old are you?" She laughs at me and I try to be pissed at her but I can't help smiling as I roll my eyes. I know I'm slowly turning in to Effy's mother, or worse mine, and it terrifies me.
"Just look after her Campbell or I'll kick your arse!" I smirk as I zip up my suitcase and spot my passport on the coffee table.
"Bring it Fitch." She challenges and I saunter over to her, bending down to kiss her as I pick up my passport. The kiss is slow and easy and Naomi's eyes flutter shut. She's still half asleep.
"Why don't you climb in to my bed and get some more sleep?" I suggest as I pull away, my motherly instincts kicking in again.
"Why don't you come with me?" I giggle at her as she leans forward to steal another kiss from me, trying to coax me back to bed with her. I really wish I had time, but I can't afford to miss this flight.
"I'll be back Monday night." Which gives me the weekend to try and clear my head and think things through properly. I need to figure out where we're going with this.
"Have fun."My weekend is far from fun. My flight from Heathrow is delayed, and when I do finally get on the plane I'm sat beside an old lady who spends most of the flight asleep on my shoulder and a teenage boy who keeps looking at my tits. Milan is too hot and humid and my clothes are sticking to me by the time I get to the hotel. The receptionist doesn't speak a word of English so I have to call Effy and get her to check me in. The room is nice enough though and I don't have to meet my clients until later so I take a shower and have a nap to catch up on the sleep I missed last night.
When I meet the model I'm supposed to be working with she's pretty much the same as every other fucking model I've met, a stroppy cow who thinks she's god's gift because she has legs a mile long. The shoot goes well though and lost in my work I don't have time to worry about everything that's going on back home. In fact, apart from a few calls to Effy for some much needed translation help I've not really been in touch with anyone. I've thought about calling Naomi, but I'm still not sure what to say to her so I don't bother; and before I know it it's Sunday evening and I'm checking in to the airport for an earlier flight home. I was supposed to have another day in Milan but the heat was killing me and the thought of going home to my own bed is too tempting; well ok, so maybe it's more the temptation of just who is in my bed.
I let Effy know I'm coming back early so she doesn't worry about hearing someone sneaking around the flat in the middle of the night; she's a pretty light sleeper and I wouldn't like her to come at me with the bat she keeps under her bed. The flight on the way home isn't as full as it was on the way out so I don't have anyone sitting beside me and I can recline my chair back to get some sleep. I make it back to the flat in the early hours of the morning and find the others are already in bed. I slip in to my room and try to be quiet as possible as I put my suitcase down by the bottom of the bed and strip out of my clothes. I change for bed and climb in beside the blonde who is thankfully sleeping on her side and not mine. I press myself right up against her back and press my lips to her neck as my arm wraps around her stomach. She smells like my shampoo and I can't help but smile as I mumble, "Took an earlier flight." I've missed this; missed her. She grunts in acknowledgement, puts her hands over mine and buries her face in her pillow. It doesn't take her long to fall back to sleep and I soon join her, exhausted from my long weekend away.
When I wake up in the morning when I feel Naomi's lips press against my forehead. I'm cuddled in to her side with me head on her chest and it doesn't take much effort for me to tilt my head up and catch her lips. I keep my eyes closed but I feel her lips curl up against mine and I know she's smiling as her arm slips under my top and her fingers begin tracing patterns on my stomach. She does that all the time, when we're curled up on the sofa watching TV and her hand absently finds its way to my side or my back, or when we're lying in bed and she thinks I'm asleep and she runs her fingers in slow swirling patterns over my skin. It's nice. I let her carry on as I drop my head back on to her chest and my own hand slides down her stomach and dips under the waistband of her knickers. She never wears much to bed. I let my hand rest where it is and begin to drift off with the steady rise and fall of her chest. "Do you intend on doing anything with that hand?" She chuckles impatiently and I smile against her skin as I keep my hand exactly where it is. Her fingers wrap around my hand, trying to move it down. She should know by know just how much I like my sleep, so to remind her I dig my nails in to her stomach, dragging them down and leaving marks as she hisses and lets go of my hand. "Kaaatieeee!" She whines in my ear as she kisses it, trying to persuade me to wake up. When I don't respond she slips out from under me and crawls down the bed. I roll on to my back and part my legs and feel her hair brush against my thighs as she shakes her head. "Bitch." She mutters as her lips trail up the inside of my thigh and I bite back a grin.
"Tired." I protest, but make no attempt to stop her from sliding my shorts down my legs. My whole body tenses as her lips slowly make their way to where I want them. For once we're not frantically fucking each other's brains out and I could definitely get used to more mornings like this. It doesn't take long for a satisfied moan to rip its way past my lips and I'm so chilled out that I'm practically out of it by the time Naomi crawls up beside me.
"Katie." She whines again as she kisses my jaw and my lips, looking for something in return. I giggle in to her open mouth as I press my knees between her legs. She hisses as I hit the right spot, winding her up all the more.
"Tired." I repeat a little more sternly as my hands slips between our bodies to take my knee's place, rubbing against her core. I close my eyes and try not to smirk as I keep my hand between her legs and kiss her cheek, knowing just how wound up she is right now. "'Night babes."
