The party, if you can call the five of us sitting in my living room with a few beers and the radio on a party, lasts late in to the night until Naomi falls asleep on the sofa and I eventually order a taxi for Cook and kick him out. I throw a blanket over Naomi and leave out some painkillers and a note on the bench for her. She's really put a lot away tonight and I know the first thing she'll do when she wakes up in the morning is head for the kitchen. I scribble 'Fresh orange in the fridge, K xxx' on a post it note and stick it on the bench next to the strip of pills; but then I think about Emily wandering in and finding it first and I crumple the note up, rewriting it with only one kiss on the end. That's ok right? I mean friends can put a 'x' on the end of their notes can't they? Emily's been home less than a day and I already hate this, I'm second guessing myself at every turn. I know what we're doing is wrong. If Emily finds out she's going to freak and I don't want some stupid post it note giving us away.

When I pad back in to the kitchen I find Effy and Emily still curled up on one of the sofas. They were pretty close before Emily moved away for uni. The summer we buried Freddie and Naomi ran away to London, the three of us were inseparable. Even when Emily went away for school she checked in on Effy almost daily; until last summer when she walked in on the two of us in bed and flipped. I know she was freaking out about seeing me with a girl, and I don't think the girl in question being one of her best friends helped matters in the slightest, but it wasn't just me she was mad with. She took it out on Effy too. For a while I thought she'd maybe had a crush on Effy, that maybe she'd latched on to the first girl who had offered her any sort of attention after Naomi had broken her heart. "I'm going to go to bed; I'll see you in the morning Em." We share an awkward hug; it really has been a while since we've done this whole sisterly thing. Her staying here this summer was supposed to fix that, but with everything that's going on with me and Naomi it's hard to focus on building bridges. I'll just have to make do with not destroying anymore instead. "Oh, what time is your girlfriend coming tomorrow? Sorry, I forgot her name."

"Oh, yeah…Jen." Emily's eyes are a little glazed over, and it seems to take her a moment to remember who I'm talking about. She always was a light weight when it came to drinking. Effy shifts beside her as she leans over for the glass of wine she's been nursing for an hour. She really shouldn't be drinking, but I didn't want another tantrum from her like earlier so I've let it go tonight. "The train's due about one I think."
"Ok, well goodnight. Try not to take me when you come to bed Eff." I head out of the living room, but pause just outside the door as I overhear Emily.

"Still sleeping together then? Cosy." Her tone is dry and I can almost picture the bitchy look on her face; it's the one I've perfected in the mirror for years.
"I've told you we're not…" Effy starts defending herself and I leave them to it. Emily can think I'm fucking Effy as much as she wants, it might stop her from figuring out who I'm really sleeping with. I would give anything to be climbing in to my own bed and cuddling up to Naomi tonight, but instead she's crashed out on the sofa and I'm pulling the covers back on Effy's bed. I'm too exhausted to lie awake alone in bed for long and there's still no sign of Effy before I fall asleep. I feel the bed shift sometime in the early hours, when the morning light is already peeking through the curtains. She and Emily must have stayed up all night.

The second time I'm woken up by someone climbing in to bed with me it's Naomi slipping under the covers and softly kissing my lips. I let out a content little sigh as I begin to come around and feel her kissing her way down my stomach. This is how every morning should start. She reaches the waistband of my pyjamas before I open my eyes and grumble, "Effy said we're not allowed to shag in her bed." She doesn't listen to me though and quickly slips my pyjama bottoms down to carry on trailing soft kisses down the inside of my thigh. I've been dying to have her here like this all night so I don't make a move to stop her. Even though I really should; it's a little weird to think that the last time I had sex in this bed was with Effy. It's a little off-putting so I clamp my legs shut and pull Naomi up for a good morning kiss.
"Did she say anything about the floor?" She pouts and I can't help but giggle as I contemplate whether that would be any less weird.
"Ems is next door."
"And I'm here, with you."

Right answer Campbell. I kiss her a little more forcefully than I should considering I can't let it develop in to anything more. She asks if we can meet for lunch and I say yes, needing to spend some time alone with her, but I've got to go pick Emily's girlfriend up from the train station at one. I've got the week off work to spend some time with Emily, and hopefully Naomi too, but the only thing she picks up on is that Emily's got a girlfriend and the morning goes downhill from there.

"Could you look any more jealous? For fuck's sake!" She looks like I've just slapped her and I can't be arsed with this shit at this time of the morning. I push her away from me and climb out of bed.
"Katie! It's not like that! What do I have to fucking say to you prove that I want you?" I fucking lo-" She's about to tell me she loves me. She's just been lying there mooning over my sister and now she's going to try and fob me off with the 'L' word, hoping I'll forget all about the shit between her and Emily. I stop her before she can say it, my tone of voice and the dangerous look on my face silencing her.
"Don't you dare fucking say that me" Not when you're still in love with her!"
"I'm not!"

I wish I could believe her. I really do; but she can't just shut off her feelings any more than I can. God knows I tried for long enough. I head for the door, intending to storm out as discreetly as I can with my sister sleeping next door, but she doesn't get the hint and she follows me. "Katie, wait!" Emily's standing in the hallway, just having come out of the bathroom and she looks at me curiously. I feel her cold gaze going straight through me, like she knows exactly what Naomi and I are arguing about. The blonde tries to grab my arm and I wrench away.
"Just leave it, yeah?" I glare at her before carrying on with my dramatic storming away and head to the kitchen to make sure Emily doesn't find the note I left for Naomi last night. The note and the pills are gone, and I'm not sure whether that's down to Emily or Naomi, but I can't ask Emily without making her suspicious; and I'm flat out refusing to talk to Naomi. She tries all morning to get me on my own but I stick to Emily like glue, knowing she won't try to talk to me with my twin around.

She's as stubborn as me though and eventually she follows me to the bathroom and corners me, pushing me back inside as I try to push past her at the door. "What are you-" I'm cut off as her lips cover mine and her fingers tangle through my hair. I kiss her back. I can't help it. She's like a drug and I'm nowhere near ready to detox yet. I do manage to be the one who pulls away first though; life is all about little victories. "I'm in love with you." The words are out of her lips before I can stop her. Her big blue eyes are wide and pleading as they bore in to mine, urging me to believe her. "I'll prove it. Right here, right now. I'll tell her. I'll tell Emily and Effy and any fucker else who will listen that I'm in love with you-" I stop her rambling with a kiss; partly because I'm already craving her lips against mine and partly because I absolutely cannot have her telling Emily what's going on between us.

Emily and I didn't just stop speaking for almost a year because she caught me in bed with Effy. We stopped speaking because she caught me in bed with Effy, realised I was in to girls and put two and two together about why I was such a bitch to her and Naomi when we were kids. She isn't stupid. She knows I was jealous. She knows I wanted Naomi like she was a prized toy that Emily had claimed first; if she finds out Naomi wants me back she'll flip, and I can guarantee she'll hold a grudge for a lot longer than a year. I wrap my arms around her neck, leaning my head on her shoulder as her arms wrap protectively around me. "Shut the fuck up Campbell." I sigh with no real venom in my voice. I can't pretend to hate her. I love her. I love Naomi Campbell and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I can't say it back. Not now that Emily's back and I could lose Naomi at any moment. "You should go home; I'll try and come over to see you later." I give her another quick kiss before I slip out of the bathroom and hope no one's noticed our absence.

Naomi follows me back in after a few minutes and makes her excuses to leave. I want more than anything to just follow her out the door, but I can't. I say goodbye stiffly as she heads for the front door and Effy sees her out, leaving me and Ems staring silently at one another from across the living room. I hate how awkward things are between us. She's my sister; we should be able to be left alone in a room together without it going so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. The longer we're left alone, and I'm left stewing in silence, the more I just want to open my mouth and admit everything to her. Luckily Effy walks back in the room just as I'm about to say something and I come to my senses, clamping my mouth shut.

We've still got a couple of hours before we have to pick Jen, or whatever her name is, up from the train station so I suggest going for an early lunch in town. "Actually I've got some stuff to do. I'll meet you guys back here about half twelve, yeah?" She pulls on her jacket and heads for the door. Effy and I share a look before she rolls her eyes at me.
"I wonder where she's going?"
"Leave it Eff." I snap at her and scoop up my car keys from the coffee table. I need to get out of the flat and take my mind off Ems and Naomi. It's Lara's day off so I think I'll go see her and Albert.
"I'll just stay here myself then." Effy remarks dryly, but I'm not really paying attention to her as I tie back my hair and shrug on my leather jacket.
"I'll be back soon!"

"So now I'm stuck with Ems and her girlfriend all week! Naomi's clearly fucking mooing over Emily and Effy's being a stroppy bitch again-"
"Breathe!" Lara scorns as she placed a cup of tea down in front of me with a plate of custard creams. "Look, I know I don't really know much about Emily and Naomi, but Ems had moved on and Naomi seems nuts about you. You have to trust her…you have to trust both of them."
"Trust them? Naomi's been in love with Emily since she was twelve! Not to mention her track record, she fucked Sophia when she was supposed to be head over heels for my sister…how the fuck am I supposed to trust her?" I snap, taking out my frustration on my best friend who definitely doesn't deserve it. Luckily Lara knows what I'm like and she just shakes her head at me, like she's telling Albert off for drawing on the walls with his crayons.

"She was a kid back then Katie! When I first met Liam I was so in to him that I never thought I'd ever love someone else like I loved him; but things change." Lara barely mentions Liam, Albert's dad. He's been dead a while now and Albert doesn't really remember him. He calls JJ daddy; it's just easier that way. "You have to trust that Naomi's with you because she wants to be, not because she's still in to Emily."
"She told me she loved me." I admit, sulking in to my tea as I remember how happy we were the other night. "I couldn't say it back. I mean, what was I meant to say? 'I've been in love with you since middle school, you know, when you were getting off with my sister!'"
"Maybe you should just be honest with her?"
"And what about Emily? She's only just started speaking to me after she found out I fancied Naomi. If she finds out we've slept together…she'll never speak to me again! Naomi will go back to uni at the end of the summer and I'll be left here with no sister and no family, because my mum would fucking disown me if she find out about me and Campbell!"

"First things first, let's get you through this week! We'll worry about everything else later." Lara takes charge, helping me to put things back in to perspective. "How about we have you all over for dinner tonight? That way you've got an excuse to see Naomi and you two could maybe sneak off early?" She smirks at me and I feel my spirits lifting at the thought of having some time alone with Naomi.
"You are amazing you know that?"
"I try." She laughs as she opens her fridge. She frowns as she picks out one of Albert's toys. There isn't much else in there. "You may have to take me shopping though."
"Done. I've got an hour until I've got to pick Emily up to go to the station and I'll call Naomi about dinner later…you're right. We just need to get through Emily's visit. I can freak out about everything else later." Of course it's easier said than done and even as I scoop Albert up so we can head to the supermarket, I can't help but wonder if Emily's with Naomi right now. I want to trust Naomi, I really do, but it's pretty hard; considering her history.