A/N: Sorry it's been ages since I last updated this, I'm behind on most of my Skins fics at the moment. This chapter isn't terribly long, but it does cover chapters 19 & 20 of TDL. The next chapter should be a lot longer and I should have it up a lot sooner seeing as I'm getting pretty close to the end.
Spending the night at Naomi's was a risk, but it was definitely worth it. I'm a lot less stressed than I was last night after the dinner party. I linger in my car outside of the flat for as long as I can, trying to preserve the tranquillity before I venture back in to the madhouse. I'm supposed to be driving Emily up to our Gran's house to meet up with mum, dad and James; but a family holiday is the last thing I need right now. I wish I was still in Milan, only this time with Naomi. I just feel like I need to get away, but it's not like anywhere I go will be far enough for me to forget about my problems. I'm in love with my sister's ex; with the girl who broke my sister's heart and could easily do the same to me.
I'm still sitting in the car, contemplating just what the hell I'm doing with my life, when someone raps on my window. I look up, startled by the sudden noise. Emily nods at me as I bring my window down. "Have a good night?" She asks, in the bitchiest voice she can manage. It's not really in Emily's nature to be a bitch. That was always my speciality. Sometimes it's funny to watch her try and be me; but other times it's just plain annoying and I call her out on it. We're going to be stuck in a car together all morning so I don't want to start an argument with her.
"It was alright." I shrug, biting back what I really want to say to her. I want to tell her everything. I want her to know about me and Naomi, but not to hurt her. I just hate hiding so much from my twin. We weren't always like this; we weren't always at each other's throats. We used to be close. I miss those days. I miss my sister. "I'm just going to shower and change, and then we can get going."
"Ok." She seems surprised that I don't start something. "I just need to pop out for ten minutes. I won't be long."
True to her word, she's back by the time I get out of the shower. I hear her come in as I'm getting changed in my room and I spend a little longer on my hair than I need to. Jen and Effy are in the living room having some sort of silent staring contest and I'm quite happy to leave Emily to deal with them. I don't know what it is about Effy. Sometimes she acts more protective over Emily than I do; like some sort of big sister.
I pull on some jogging pants and a loose hoodie. They're hardly the height of fashion, but they'll be comfortable to drive in. Have I mentioned how much I'm really not looking forward to going to my gran's? It's not just me and Em that are on shaky terms. Mum and Dad always seem about one argument away from a divorce and James is still weird as fuck. He's a teenager now, which brings problems of its own. You couldn't pay me enough to be a teen again. It's just six long and painful years of hormones and rage; or at least my teenage years were.
Once I've packed an overnight bag I head out in to the living room to fetch Emily. She's sitting next to Effy, reading a magazine over her shoulder while Jen sits on the single recliner playing on her phone. Something about my sister's new girlfriend bugs me. She just doesn't seem like Emily's type. "Ready to go?"
"Sure." Emily gets up and picks up her own bag. She goes to walk out of the living room with little more than a 'see you tomorrow' tossed at Jen.
"Babe!" Jen gives her the same look I do and Emily seems to realise her mistake as she laughs nervously.
"Sorry babe." She leans over the other girl and gives her an awkward peck on the lips. She might as well be kissing Lara or Panda for all the effort she puts in to it.
I pull her about it in the car. "She's not your girlfriend is she?"
"No." She doesn't even bother to lie as she stares off out of the window. I know her too well for her to flat out lie to my face and she knows it. I don't need to ask her to elaborate. I'm pretty sure I know what her reasoning is.
"So who is she?"
"A friend. We slept together once." She shrugs at me. Jen must be a damn good friend to spend two weeks of her summer pretending to be Emily's girlfriend.
"Just don't tell anyone, ok?" Translation: Don't tell Naomi. I shrug back at her, committing to my silence. After that we manage a bit of small talk for the rest of the drive. It's not as bad as I was expecting. I think it's actually the most me and Em have spoken in months.
Of course when we actually get to my gran's house it all goes downhill from there. Mum and Dad are already at each other's throats because dad took a wrong turn on the way up or something. Gran keeps pinching my cheeks and telling me I've lost too much weight; at least that's when she's not calling me Emily. We're twenty fucking years old and the daft old cow still can't tell us apart.
I promised Naomi I'd call when we got to my gran's, but with all of the family drama I don't get a chance. It's a little hard to get some time to myself when we're supposed to be having a family gathering. I feel bad for leaving her babysitting Effy and Jen to start with. She really twisted her face when I asked her to spend the day with them, but she eventually agreed to it for me. Thinking about that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach and I can't help the small smile that slips on to my face.
Emily looks at me funny, which is understandable seeing as we're all crammed in to the living room and watching some boring antiques show. There is most definitely nothing for me to be smiling about. I can't take it anymore. I need to get out of here and I need to speak to Naomi. "I'm going to the shops. Anybody want anything?"
"I'm coming!" James jumps to his feet, as desperate to escape as I am. I try to object, but mum makes me take him. I swear it's like I'm still sixteen sometimes.
At least Emily doesn't want to come. I'll just give James a fiver for some sweets or something so I can get five minutes to myself to call Naomi. There's a Tesco a few streets away. We don't really need to take the car, but I do anyway. I don't want to have to wait for James as he dawdles along. Honestly, the boy moves like he's got nowhere to be and nothing to do. It must be nice.
When we get to the Tesco I slip James a ten pound note from my purse and give him strict orders not to tell mum and dad and to hide any crap he buys. A tenner should at least buy me enough time to call Naomi; or it would if she would actually answer her phone. I'm wandering around the shop, with an empty basket in one hand and my phone pressed to my ear with the other, for a good ten minutes before she eventually picks up. If it were anybody else I wouldn't have even tried to call a second time.
"About fucking time!" I snap as she finally picks up. All I can hear on the other end of the phone is loud pulsating music. She's obviously in a club, and even though I know she's only doing what I asked it pissed me off that she's out enjoying herself and I'm stuck watching Bargain Hunt with my Gran. She grumbles something back at me, clearly in the same mood as I am. I guess neither of us are really having fun tonight.
"I thought you were calling as soon as Emily wasn't with you?" There's a hint of accusation in her voice, like I've actually been avoiding her or something; because obviously I'm having way too much fun with my psychotic family to call her. The conversation does get any better after that as we carry on bickering.
"You're fucking lucky I could call you!" I snap at her, regretting even bothering to call in the first place.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just…I miss you." Her tone softens and the music fades behind her. She must have stepped out of the club so she can talk properly. Her admission lifts my mood a little bit as I perch against a freezer.
"I miss you too baby." I sigh, keeping a watchful eye out for James. The last thing I need is for him to overhear me talking to Naomi on the phone. I don't have enough money in my purse to buy his silence. She tries to convince me to drive back to Bristol and it's pretty tempting. If I didn't have the little perv with me I'd already be in my car and driving down the M5. We both know I can't get out of staying the night at my Gran's though. Even if I could, I'd have to bring Emily back with me and I doubt I'd get away with spending another night with Naomi without Em getting suspicious.
"I can't wait till you get back. Can we maybe go out tomorrow? Just the two of us?" That sounds like absolute heaven right now and I hastily agree. I'll think of a way to get rid of Emily and her fake girlfriend later. I tease her about finally taking me on that date she's been promising for weeks and she laughs. God, I love her laugh. "…Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do."
"You." I growl in to the phone, already missing her and it hasn't even been a full day. It's going to fucking kill me when she has to go back to uni. "I just want to do you, right now- Fuck, James is coming!" I quickly apologise and say a hasty goodbye before pocketing my phone and turning my attention to the assortment of ice cream in the freezer I've been leaning against.
"Who were you talking to? Your boyfriend?" He teases in a sing song voice, earning himself a slap around the ear.
"No one! I snap at him, annoyed at not getting to talk to my girlfriend for longer.
"So you were on the phone to no one?" James isn't going to let it drop, so I roll my eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh.
"I was talking to a bloke, ok? He's not my boyfriend…he's just a friend." I lied. Hoping it will throw him off the scent.
"Is he fit?" James asks out of the blue. He's always been weird, but he's getting worse as he gets older.
"Yeah, I guess." I shrug at him. "What's it got to do with you?"
"I think I like boys." And just like that my little brother has just come out to me in the frozen aisle of a Tesco supermarket. I'm left a little speechless and he shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other, obviously taking my silence as condemnation. "I like girls. I just…like boys too."
"Me too." I've never had any intentions of telling any of my family that I'm bi; even Emily only found out by accident when she walked in on me and Effy. My own confession takes us both by surprise.
He just stands there staring at me with an open mouth and I feel panic begin to well up inside of me. What if he tells my parents? Dad's ok, but mum will have a fit! I scramble to cover myself, but before I can think of a way to dig myself out of the whole I just put myself in, he steps forward and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. At some point over the last two years he had his growth spurt, so he's already taller than me. I rest my head on his shoulder and hug him back. I feel tears building up in my eyes and have to blink them away as I choke out, "Let's not tell mum." James laughs as he nods his head.
"Agreed."
