I gripped the phone tightly, choking on air. A long silence was drawn out, accented by the fizzing of static. 'W-what?" I rasped out finally. I heard a scoff over the phone. A girl, obviously Jade, was saying something in the background that I couldn't make out.
"I think you know what," John said. His voice was low and cracked. "U-unless there are two Dave Striders. And the other one is just like you. If not, then you've been cheating on me." There was a pause. "No. You've been cheating on Jade. With me." I sputtered, looking for an answer. I couldn't think of anything. "What the hell Dave?"
"I... I'm sorry," my mouth said before my mind.
"Sorry? So you did? So there's no excuse?"
"No...," I whispered. "There's not. I was just...,"
"A douche? A fucking liar? Yeah, Dave. Yeah, you were. You know what, Jade's crying," his voice broke again, "And I doubt you have anything pr-prolific to say."
"John, I'm so sorry. I was-" Click. I sat stupidly, staring off as the dial tone humming in my ear. God, I'd messed up so bad.
Monday came all to fast. I was up before dawn. I spent one hour, then two, staring up at the ceiling. My mind wandered. I practically felt like crying. But I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. I just couldn't bring tears out of my eyes. I sighed for the hundredth time and threw my blankets off, faced by the cold air of the morning.
I considered staying home. But that would be worse. I needed to see John. Like an idiot, I figured I might still have a chance. Like he'd be willing to take me back. I stared at my phone, which was dead. Last night I'd broken up with Karkat. So I was now officially alone. Karkat was mad at me. Jade hated me. Terezi hated me. Tavros hated.
John hated me.
I dragged myself to school, arriving late from taking too long meandering there. When I got to math class, John was hidden in the back corner. His head was down, and he stared at the paper in front of him, hardly moving. I looked down at my feet, wandering in. He never bothered look up. I watched him most of class. He busied himself sharpening his pencil over and over or scribbling on his paper. The teacher came over and put a hand on his shoulder, whispering something. He shook his head, then worked on his paper until she turned away. I looked down at my own paper, which had nothing more than my name hastily scrawled across the top.
The next few classes I didn't see him. Terezi was in gym. I looked over at her, and she seemed to be "looking" over at me or whatever it was she did. She turned on her heel and went back to dribbling a basketball in place.
Lunch, I knew, was going to be the worst. And it was. I sat alone in the hallway, staring at my biology homework that was due next class. It was supposed to be done over vacation, and I left it completely empty. I read it for the hundredth time, not understanding it any more. I looked up to see Terezi hovering over me. I blinked. She slumped down next to me without a word, facing the wrong way.
"I screwed up," I choked. She turned her head, then shifted at the sound of my voice so she was facing me.
"You really did," she said. "You wanna talk about it?"
I shook my head. "I just feel pretty fucking stupid."
She shrugged. "I could've told you this was going to happen. But at least you came to your senses, huh?" I hesitated.
"Look, Terezi, I'm sorry abo-"
"Don't be," she said. "We both kinda screwed that relationship over. But we're still best friends all the same." I nodded.
"Is John okay?"
"Is he here today? He's not in the lunch room." I stood up.
"I have to find him." Terezi reluctantly followed me as I jogged down the hallways. I looked into classrooms and checked in the office window. I opened the door to the second story bathroom, Terezi lingering outside, leaning against the water fountain as it ran. I looked around and found John sitting, with his knees tucked up against his chest, sitting in the corner.
"John." John looked up at me, his eyes bloodshot.
"Leave me alone," he hissed, scooting backwards." I knelt down next to him.
"John, I'm so sorry. I... I had this whole mess going on for a long time an I...," I swallowed. "I should've gotten it straightened out."
"Oh, you think so?" He spat. "I... all that shit about loving me and caring about me. It was bullshit. And you know what?" He laughed weakly. "The sooner I can put this whole shit relationship behind me, the better. So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone."
"John."
"Because I'm done dealing with you. And I don't want you to tell some bullshit lies, alright? It's all done. You screwed up, and I screwed up for trusting you. And this," he spat. "This stupid god damned relationship isn't going to mean crap to me when I'm older, and I'm sure it meant nothing to you already. So let's keep this concise."
"John, please listen to me-"
"No," he snapped. "Just leave."
So I did. And I'd never felt more worthless than I did then, with John's words spinning around in my mind.
