"A tomato is clearly a vegetable. Has been, always will be. I don't understand why people just changed that all of a sudden!" Steve exclaimed.
"Tomatoes are fruits!" Clint rolled his eyes. "I never understood why it would be a vegetable in the first place. It has seeds, doesn't it?"
"So then, according to the logic today, peppers are fruits? Cucumbers? Eggplants?"
"I think you guys are taking this conversation too far," Natasha sighed.
"Fruit."
"Vegetable."
"FRUIT!"
"VEGETABLE!"
"SHUT UP!"
Everyone turned around and faced Loki.
"I'm trying to relax, if you don't mind." The demi-god put back on his headphones.
"You two can continue your little argument once we get back to Stark Tower," Natasha grumbled.
"Speaking of Stark Tower, why did you pull us all out in the first place?" Clint asked Tony.
"We're going to do a little team bonding exercise." Tony grinned.
"Didn't we already do so, man of iron?" Thor asked.
"Don't even remind me of that..." Bruce shuddered.
"I agree. Let's not ever speak of that again," Steve added.
"I found it quite amusing." Loki smirked.
"That's because you weren't part of it! I, on the other hand, had to spend 10 minutes washing my mouth out!" Clint yelled.
"How Tony dragged us into the cinnamon challenge, I'll never know..." Bruce shook his head.
"I happened to find the cinnamon quite delicious." Thor smiled.
Everyone looked at him in disgust before going back to their business.
"Fruit."
"Vegetable."
"FRUIT!"
"VEGETABLE!"
"PINEAPPLE!"
Clint and Steve stared at Thor. "What?"
"You are shouting out food," Thor answered, a look of deadpan on his face.
"We're here, guys!" Tony yelled, the car coming to a sudden stop.
"Finally," Loki grumbled, taking off his headphones. "How you Midgardians can live like this, I'll never know."
"Sometimes I wonder the same thing myself," muttered Natasha as she followed everyone out of the car.
Once everyone had gotten out, they stared at the giant building that stood in front of them.
Walmart.
"You call this 'team bonding'? We're at Walmart." Clint crossed his arms.
"Right you are. And today, we're going to do what no man has ever done before..." Tony grinned. "Follow me." Everyone followed him into Walmart.
"What are we doing?" Steve asked.
Tony grinned wildly as he snatched a shopping cart.
Thor looked deeply shocked. "Man of iron, are you planning a theft?"
Loki face-palmed himself.
"What? No! We're planning a...(dun dun DUN)...SHOPPING CART RACE!" Tony exclaimed. He looked at his fellow teammates, but none of them seemed too enthralled.
"People have done that before," Natasha pointed out.
"Well, no billionaire has done it before," Tony corrected her. "But now, we can't say THAT anymore! Whaddaya say?"
Everyone stared at him with the most unreadable expression. Steve and Thor, on the other hand, looked absolutely puzzled.
"So you mean to say that you dragged us all out here just for some sort of race?" Steve asked.
"Yes. Good observation, Spangles." Tony patted him on the back and glanced at the others. "Come on, guys! Pepper said so herself that we should just take a day to have some fun!"
"I don't see anything wrong with it." Clint shrugged, earning a look from Natasha. "What? I've never done a shopping cart race before!" he defended himself.
"Do you think this would be a good idea, though? I mean, the whole place is crowded..." Bruce quietly spoke up. He didn't like the idea of Tony terrorizing the poor shoppers with his childish antics.
"You got a point there. Not to mention we'd be swarmed by fans..." Clint shuddered, remembering Natasha's reaction when dozens of fan girls swooned over him.
Someone has yet to pay for their hospital bills.
"Don't worry, pal. I have an idea that's foolproof." Before everyone knew it, Tony was in his Iron Man suit and he flew up to the ceiling to get everyone's attention. He cleared his throat and loudly exclaimed, "HOLY CRAP THERE'S AN ALIEN INVASION! RUN! FIND SHELTER! PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES!"
It wasn't too long before the whole supermarket erupted into complete chaos. Shoppers frantically ran about and screamed, piling out the nearest exits. In as little as two minutes, the entire supermarket was completely empty.
Tony flew down and brushed his hands together with satisfactory. "Problem solved." He headed back to his comrades, who looked absolutely stunned. Loki, on the other hand, looked amused.
"I had the idea of giving them free autographs if they left, but this idea was much better!" Clint exclaimed, stifling a laugh.
"I don't believe that was necessary, but at least everyone is gone." Natasha shrugged.
"Exactly. Now we can begin!" Tony stated proudly. "Bruce, you're on my team."
Bruce sighed, shaking his head. "Tony—"
"Say 'no' and I'll ram you with this cart. You need to loosen up; have some fun every now and then!" Tony playfully whacked him on the arm.
"I have fun in the lab," Bruce rubbed his arm, sounding offended.
"Well, you can have more fun here." Tony crossed his arms.
"But—"
"No buts. I need a teammate, darn it!"
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. There was no use in arguing with Tony Stark simply because he was...well...Tony Stark.
"Since Capsicle and Goldilocks here probably have no clue how to do this, Clint will be with Thor and Natasha will be with Steve," Tony explained as he faced everyone else.
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Tony, this is ridiculous," she scowled.
"You're ridiculous!" Tony exclaimed. "I've always wanted to do this! You dare mock my childhood dream?"
Natasha shot him a deadly glare, but the billionaire ignored her and turned to face Clint. "You in for a challenge?"
Clint smirked. "Right on!" He was always ready for action.
Thor seemed intrigued as well. "Indeed, man of iron! Do you wish to join, brother?" He happily faced Loki, who leaned against a shelf wearing a bored expression.
"Do I look in the mood to play Midgardian games?" Loki scoffed.
"Killjoy," Tony muttered.
Poor Steve, who had no clue what the heck was going on, looked at Natasha. "People really do this kind of stuff nowadays?" he asked, more confused than ever.
"According to Stark," Natasha answered, rolling her eyes. "Come on; we'll just make it look like we're joining, then ditch everyone."
"What about Clint?" Steve pointed at the archer, who was explaining to Thor how a shopping cart race worked.
Natasha shook her head and watched as Clint and Thor high-fived and whooped. "Clint can get pretty competitive, so dragging him out of this would be difficult."
"What about you, Loki?" Steve faced the demi-god, who still looked bored out of his mind.
Loki shrugged. "I'll just hang here." Besides, he was interested to see how this race would turn out.
"Suit yourself." Natasha and Steve left the building.
"Hey, Reindeer Games!"
Unamused by his nickname, Loki faced Tony.
"You'll be referee. Got it?"
"Whatever you say." Loki rolled his eyes.
"Alright, there will be 3 laps around the whole store, and whoever finishes at the exit wins!" Tony announced.
"What is it that we win?" Thor asks eagerly.
"You win...uh...the opportunity to rub it in everyone's face!" Tony shrugged.
"Got it." Clint looked ready to go, and he turned to face his teammate. "You ready, Thor?"
"Certainly, hawk-man!"
Clint smirked and shook his head. He told Thor dozens of times that wasn't his name, but Thor never seemed to understand.
"Ready, Bruce?" Tony faced his science bro.
"Do I have to be?" Bruce muttered.
"Stop whining; you'll have fun before you know it!" Tony practically shoved him toward the cart. Knowing that there was no use in arguing with him, Bruce climbed in.
Tony pushed the cart towards the exit, where he met up with Clint, Thor, and Loki. "Hey, where's Steve and Natasha?" He looked around, but only to see that they both had somehow vanished.
"Perhaps they did not want to race the carts of shopping?" Thor suggested, equally confused.
Tony pouted. "Party poopers. Oh well; I guess it's just us then!"
As everyone got ready, Tony and Thor stood with their teammates, patiently waiting for Loki to begin the race. "Loki?" Thor looked at his brother strangely.
Everyone now faced Loki, who was staring off into space with a creepy grin plastered on his face.
Tony cleared his throat. "Anytime now, Creeper."
Loki snapped out of it, rolling his eyes as he turned to everyone. "As you mortals would say: On your mark, get set, go." There was no enthusiasm in his voice whatsoever, but that didn't stop Tony and Thor from bolting away, leaving him behind in the dust. Wearing his creepy grin once more, Loki sneaked off to who knows where.
"Tony, I really don't believe this is necessary," Bruce spoke up.
Tony wore a wild grin. "It's not, but it sure is fun!"
"But don't you think throwing produce is a little too much?"
"What?" Tony suddenly flinched as an apple hit him in the head.
"Brilliant shot, hawk-man!" Thor exclaimed as Clint grabbed multiple produce from the shelves and shot them at Tony with his bow and arrow.
"Why, thank you. There's more where that came from!" Clint shot a pineapple at Tony, but Tony shot a laser out of his hand, causing it to explode. (Keep in mind Tony was still wearing his Iron Man suit.)
"They wanna play that way, huh? Time to fight fire with fire! Bruce, grab some produce!" Tony commanded.
Bruce opened his mouth to object, but decided not to even bother. When they passed by aisles with all sorts of fruit, he started grabbing some. "What now?" he asked Tony.
"Hand them over."
Bruce handed the fruit to Tony, who then shot them out of his hands as if they were cannonballs.
"Incoming produce!" Thor declared.
Clint ducked to avoid some fruit as Thor hit the fruit with Mjolnir (his hammer), causing them to splatter.
"That's one way to make fruit juice," said Clint, smirking.
"Indeed, hawk-man. Perhaps we should make delicious fruit juices after we win!" Thor grinned.
Clint laughed, shooting more fruit at Tony.
Loki peered out from behind an aisle, watching the two shopping carts battle it out. His creepy grin returned and his skin turned blue. He held out his hand and turned the ground near him into ice before he ran off.
As Clint and Thor approached the ice, Clint was the first to see it, of course. "Watch out for the ice, Thor!" he shouted.
"But why would there be ice in a grocery store, hawk-man?" Thor was confused.
"Just look out!"
Thor looked ahead and noticed the ice. With a mighty leap, he lifted the cart as he flew over it.
Clint opened his eyes and peeked out of the cart in amazement. "Nice!"
"Thank you." Thor smiled proudly.
Deciding not to run anymore, Tony was using the jets on his feet to push the cart faster.
"You know, Tony, I think I underestimated this. This is actually kind of fun!" Bruce smiled.
"See? I just KNEW that you'd have a great time! Sure beats working in the lab, right?" Tony grinned.
"Well, I wouldn't say that, but—"
Bruce was interrupted when the cart suddenly slid out of control. Tony lost grip of the cart and Bruce was literally tossed out of it. Tony screamed like a woman in a horror movie as he crashed into an aisle full of dairy products, slamming face first into a block of cheese.
Stunned, Tony slowly lifted up his faceplate. "What...happened?"
Bruce was on the ground, trying to calm his heartbeat. He clenched his fists as he tried to push the Hulk aside, and once he managed to do so, he sighed with relief.
That is, before he saw the cart flying towards him. He didn't think much after that.
"You alright, Bruce?" Tony faced his science bro, but instead he saw the Hulk. Tony grinned, coming up with the perfect plan to win the race. "Hey, buddy! Wanna join a shopping cart race?"
"Hulk join Tony," Hulk replied.
"Great! You can push me while I'm in the cart and I'll tell you where to go. Got it, big guy?" Tony asked, climbing into the cart. Hulk nodded his head as Tony pointed forward. "Onward, Hulk! We got a shopping cart race to win!"
"Hulk win race!" Hulk shouted, pushing the shopping cart as fast as he could. Tony laughed insanely as they dashed down the aisle faster and faster.
"Thor, do you hear something?" Clint asked Thor.
"No," Thor answered. "What is it you hear?"
Clint listened closely to the sound of thundering footsteps and, slowly, he began to realize what he and Thor were up against. "Thor...pick up the speed." His voice took on a commanding tone.
"But hawk-man, we are already most ahead," Thor told him.
"We won't be for long!" Clint yelled, pointing behind him.
Thor looked behind himself and almost screamed when he saw how close the Hulk was behind them.
"HULK WIN RACE!" Hulk shouted.
"Tony! You cheater!" Clint glared at Tony.
Tony raised his hands defensively. "It wasn't my idea! A certain god of mischief decided to step things up a bit!"
"Loki..." Clint scowled, remembering the ice. He looked at Thor, who began slowing down. "What are you doing? RUN!"
"But wouldn't it be best to let the rage monster win?" Thor asked.
Clint looked behind himself and began to go insane. "NO! RUN, YOU MORON!" he screamed. "RUN OR HE'LL TRAMPLE US!"
"Very well." Thor started spinning Mjolnir so the wind would pick up and make them go faster.
Hulk was still determined to win the race, though. "HULK BEAT HAMMER MAN AND ARROW MAN!"
"Any chance you can go faster?" Clint asked Thor, a look of horror on his face.
"There is not enough wind," Thor replied, still spinning Mjolnir.
"Then we'll just have to let some in," Clint muttered, targeting his bow and arrows. He shot at some windows, letting in more wind.
"How many laps left, Jarvis?" Tony asked his artificial intelligence program.
"You are currently on the last lap, sir," Jarvis replied.
"Shoot." Tony turned around. "Hulk, mind picking up the pace?"
Hulk nodded his head and ran faster.
When Clint saw how close they were getting, he quickly faced forward and repeated, "We are so dead. We are going to die."
"Have faith, hawk-man!" Thor reassured him. "Mjolnir has never failed me before—"
Hulk whacked a shelf full of food, which tumbled right on top of Clint and Thor. Tony cackled as he sped past them, waving goodbye.
Clint popped his head out of a bunch of cereal boxes and glared at Thor. "You were saying?"
Thor only gave a nervous smile in return, summoning Mjolnir once more.
Tony turned around, grinning at the two unfortunate teammates. "Great job, big guy. We're sure to win the race now!"
"Hulk and Tony win race!" Hulk exclaimed.
"That's right. Just one more corner and we're done," Tony told him.
"So you think." Loki peeked out from behind the corner and created another ice puddle in the middle of the floor. He chuckled to himself, running away.
Tony was so focused on winning the race that he still had no clue about the ice. Hulk, on the other hand, ran right into it and slipped, crashing to the ground.
"NOT AGAIN!" Tony screeched, crashing into an aisle. Luckily, it didn't tip over and fall on top of him. He got up dizzily and asked, "What happened now?"
Hulk shook his head and stood up, seeing something at the corner of his eye. He glared straight at a figure that was peeking at him from behind a shelf, but it took off in an instant.
"Puny god," Hulk grumbled.
"Loki? Where?" Tony looked around.
"Puny god make Hulk slip on ice," Hulk spat, jabbing a finger at the ice puddle.
"Oh, that must explain the whole incident that happened earlier," Tony muttered.
"Hulk SMASH puny god!" Hulk growled.
"Sure, why not? I can pay for the damage, anyway. Go ahead." Tony shrugged like it was nothing.
Hulk roared as he ran off, smashing through aisles.
When Loki heard a roar behind himself, he immediately knew he was screwed. "Shoot shoot shoot shoot SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT!" He sprinted down the aisle with the Hulk just inches away from him.
Pretty soon, they both passed by a giant pile of cereal boxes. Clint and Thor were still in the pile and they looked up at the commotion.
Clint couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like Hulk found out who caused the chaos."
"Shouldn't we help my brother?" Thor looked concerned.
"Nah...he deserves this."
Meanwhile, Natasha and Steve had finally returned to Walmart. After Steve asked if ice cream still existed, they both had gone to the nearest ice cream shop. Steve got vanilla ice cream and Natasha got strawberry.
Still licking on their ice cream cones, they stepped through the entrance and came to a complete halt. Steve dropped his ice cream and Natasha's mouth came wide open.
As Hulk was smashing Loki, Tony and Clint were arguing over who won the race (although no one actually passed the finish line yet), and Thor had found the pop tart aisle and was now stuffing his face. Not to mention the whole supermarket was completely demolished and not a single aisle was standing.
"What...did you guys...DO?" Natasha nearly shouted.
Tony and Clint stopped arguing and faced her. "Tasha, tell your boyfriend that I was the one who won the race! I got farther than him!" Tony yelled, ignoring her question.
"I think that should be the least of your worries right now! You do realize you'll have to pay for all this, right?" Natasha asked.
"Hey; I'm Tony Stark." Tony turned back to Clint and resumed arguing with him as if nothing had happened.
Natasha face-palmed herself. "How does Pepper deal with him...?" she growled to herself.
"Um, Hulk?" Steve stepped up to Hulk, who stopped smashing Loki at the moment. "I think you smashed him enough. He's knocked out pretty badly."
Hulk glanced at him, then at Loki. He shrugged and dropped him, making him slam onto the ground.
"What are we going to do?" Steve asked, facing Natasha.
"Here's what we're gonna do." Natasha sighed, grabbing his arm and walking over to the exit. She stopped there and faced Tony and Clint, who were still arguing. "HEY!"
Tony and Clint faced her.
"Looks like we won the race." Natasha smirked, crossing her arms. Steve stifled a laugh.
Tony was speechless. "What—WHAT—THAT'S NOT FAIR!" he shouted.
Clint shrugged. "Looks fair to me," he smirked. "No one passed the finish line yet."
"But—BUT—" Tony face-palmed himself, knowing he was right. "Forget it. This whole thing was a stupid idea."
"Hey, no it wasn't! I had a great time!" Clint patted him on the back.
"Absolutely, man of iron!" Thor shouted, his mouth full of pop tarts. "We should try to race the carts of shopping another time, perhaps!"
"I don't think there will even be another time..." Steve said seriously, crossing his arms.
"We don't want to end up destroying every other supermarket around here, do we?" Natasha added.
"She has a good point," Clint admitted. He patted Thor on the back. "Sorry pal; this was only a one time thing."
"Oh well," Tony sighed. "At least we bonded as a team. Right, guys?"
"Of course!" Clint replied.
"Certainly!" Thor added.
"What about you, big guy? Did you have fun?" Tony asked Hulk.
"Hulk have fun with Tony!" Hulk shouted, picking up Tony and giving him a bone crushing hug.
"ACK! Okay, you can put me down now..." Tony gagged.
"Hey, where did you get ice cream?" Clint noticed Natasha's ice cream cone.
"Oh, there's a Dairy Queen down the road. Wanna go?" asked Natasha.
"Sure!"
"I shall gladly try this cream of ice!" Thor smiled.
"Why not? We could use some relaxation after a thrilling experience such as this," Tony replied.
"ICE CREAM!" Hulk exclaimed.
So the six friends happily left the destroyed Walmart, over to the ice cream shop down the road. They were completely unaware, however, that they had left someone behind...
Loki weakly rose from the ground and groaned. He looked up and saw a worker walk into the building, gaping at the total destruction.
When the worker happened to look in Loki's direction, Loki instantly raised his hands in surrender. "I didn't do it! I swear!"
"I found the one who was behind all this!" The worker shouted, looking behind himself. Soon, cops burst into the room and glared at Loki.
"You are under arrest for the destruction of Walmart," a cop stated, pointing his gun at him.
"Wha—? I didn't do it! I may have tried taking over the world, but that was only one time! I'm fine now; don't arrest me!" Loki screamed, frantically running around the store as the cops chased him. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, STARK!"
