Hi everybody! I was re-watching "Dig for Fire" last night and I told myself What if Joan and Seth had gone to dinner? What would have happened? I couldn't help myself, I had to write it.
"Seth's having dinner with Joan" Annie informed Arthur
He called his wife, a sudden need to protect what belonged to him overcame him, it was impulsive, it was the only thing he could do.
"Arthur hold on. We just found out Seth's the mole, not a killer, he has been alone with Joan on plenty of occasions without causing her harm."
"It's not what I'm worried about" Arthur sighed
"What are you think she's gonna do? Sleeping with him for payback?"
"I didn't say that" but part of him could only think the worst
"It's only dinner," Annie interfered "Trust me, Joan's not thinking about payback right now"
When Annie and Auggie arrived to his hotel room the last thing he imagined was the news of Seth Newman being the mole and even less that he was having dinner with his wife.
Seth-Bastard-Newman, he never got it over, he never accepted the fact that Joan choose and married him.
You stole Joan from him, didn't you? Annie's question echoed in his mind.From Seth's point of view it was what happened but it was too easy, wasn't it? Just believing that he stole her from him as if she was a kind of object, a trophy or a stupid piece of meat without a brain. Arthur respected his wife's judgment and her ability to make her own decisions too much to think that he could interfere in some way; they fell in love with each other and he'd have never regret it, they were not proud they made other people suffer for sure but it happened and they couldn't change that.
Auggie was right, Seth would have never hurt Joan, no he still loved her and that was even worse: she was a well-trained agent capable of defending herself from an attack but from love? How could she do that? He used her vulnerability against them with the excuse of being her sponsor, the good friend always there to help her, to listen to her, to make her feel comfortable and that was he was doing now: playing the part of the good man covertly comparing himself to her fucking cheater husband. Arthur could picture his pathetic face and his displeased words while he was gloating inside, not for her pain of course, but for the chance he saw in front of him, the chance to get her back. And it was exactly that horrible thought that pushed Arthur to leave his hotel room that night, he had to do something.
From his position, parked in front of their house, he could clearly see Joan greeting and smiling to Seth. She was wearing a black dress, nothing too fancy, but pretty enough to make Arthur think she changed for him, she got better looking for him and that made his blood boiling.
Seth opened the passenger door for her, he was always so falsely chivalric, Arthur shook his head disgusted and when the car started moving, he followed them. Like all the respectable followings, he stayed two cars away trying to go unnoticed in the middle of Washington's traffic, it was a dark night, one of those without moon when even the stars seemed to be disappeared from the view.
They stopped to a Mexican restaurant "Casa nosotros" and for the quickly way they found them a table, they must have a reservation: Newman did plan everything.
The restaurant had large glass walls, he could see them from the parking lot without needing to step in it.
Seth pushed the chair aside to make her sit and she thanked him with one of her sweet smile. Arthur knew Joan was just being kind but the simple fact she was there with him… what the hell?! He squeezed the steering wheel to contain his rage.
What could he expect? He confessed his wife and the whole agency he was having an affair with a woman he refused to say the name and resigned on one's feet, whatever person would have told him the less he could "suffer" was watching his wife having dinner with another man, underlining the less. The only detail missing was he was not having any affair but Joan didn't know it, all her past accuses of infidelity found a reason to exist in her mind, her handsome, charming and powerful husband who couldn't keep his pants on screwing some young woman, Arthur never cheated on her instead. Joan was all he needed and marrying her was the best decision he had made in his life, she was his half and he was no interested in flings or one night stands, there was only a woman for him, her.
Seth was pouring the wine but Joan thanked him preferring water. If he could look himself in the mirror he'd have found the same confused look on Seth's face: they both knew Joan well to be aware that she'd have never refused wine without a valid reason. The question was why?
The waiter came to take their orders and came back to the kitchen leaving them alone. Seth was talking, he could almost hear him whispering with that grave expression of his, while Joan was playing with the hem of her napkin avoiding the eye contact: they were talking about him, he was the matter, his cheating. Joan looked at her friend, her sorrow revealed in her blue eyes like a meal on a silver plated dish, but maintained her composure, that sweet smile of her that seemed clouded by the storm of their situation.
God how much he must have hurt her! Lying to her was the hardest thing he had to do but he did to protect her, because she didn't deserve to go down with him, to pay for his mistakes.
Seth placed his hand on hers in a reassuring way and Joan simply glanced at it but didn't take it away; she let him touch her, reassured her, take care of her and Arthur saw red, he was about to go out of the car and storm in the restaurant when their orders arrived and their touch was broken.
What hell was he doing? For being known as a controlled man who always kept his feelings at bay, he was really freaking out that evening. It was because of Joan, he had never thought straight when it was about her, jealousy was messing his head. Arthur flopped on the passenger seat watching his gorgeous wife –
who should have been home with him – eating something like burritos or whatever. He hated mexican food!
The rest of the dinner skimmed through, they must have changed subject chatting of something lighter because he was making her laugh, genuinely laughing, so much she put her hand on her mouth as always did to cover what her brain registered like an exaggerating reaction to have in public… Arthur knew her so well, he dedicated the past ten years studying every single expressions of hers, she never ceased of amazing him.
When an eternity seemed to pass, they paid the bill and came back to the car. He followed them only to supervise that Seth didn't play any trickery just a minute before to conclude the evening: if he still wanted to keep living, he would have better not to. Once they parked in front of the house, Treacherous-Seth walked Joan to the door and she thanked him for the dinner, then, his gaze and some seconds of silence made Joan predict what would have happened next: when he was about to raise his hand and touch her she quickly greeted him and closed the door behind her. He stayed like that, watching the closed door, then sighed, came back to his car and left.
When Joan emerged from the bathroom she almost had an heart attack: Arthur was seated on their bed in his casual clothes, legs overlapped, waiting for her. He looked tired as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, an image she found funny considering she was the damaged one.
"Arthur oh God! You scared me to death! What are you doing here?"
"This is still my house, you know"
"Did you hit your head and forgot the last few days by chance?"
"If that means I saw my wife flirting and having dinner with another man, then yes"
"You followed us?" she yelled shocked
"Oh there's a us now…"
"How dare you! You're the one screwing another woman, not me!"
"We'll talk about that later. Why did you go out with Seth Newman?"
"He's my friend! He invited me to offer his support"
"Yeah I saw how much he was ready to support you…"
"You know what Arthur? You've no right to play the jealous man!"
"You bet I have! I'm still your husband"
She laughed bitterly
"Don't you see?" he continued "He does that every time! He takes advantage of our problems to get closer to you, to get you back!"
"Problems YOU caused! And he can't get me back, I'm married, I still am and I never missed my promise"
"That's the only reason why he can't? Because you signed a contract?"
"No because I made a promise to be loyal and faithful and all the bullshits of till the death do us apart in which I believed! And maybe you should have remembered that before screwing your mistress! You didn't even tell me her name!"
"There's NO MISTRESS!"
"Wait, what?"
"The affair was a cover story"
Joan looked at him, her stomach twisted, she inhaled "To cover what?"
Arthur passed a hand through his hair "I've a son, his name is Teo, he's 32 years old and lives in Columbia"
"Wow, that wasn't even in the top ten of things I thought it might be"
"I can figure out"
"You didn't tell me because of the polygraph, did you? You wanted to give me plausible deniability"
"Yeah"
She kept her cold gaze on him to show him all her rage and disappointment "This doesn't change anything, I'm still mad at you"
"I know. I'm still mad at Seth Newman… you let him touch you!"
"It was nothing"
"It was something!" he hissed "He loves you, he's still in love with you good Lord! And he nursed revenge for all those years"
"What do you mean?"
"He's the mole"
"Are you serious?"
"Annie overheard him conspiring with Henry Wilcox"
"Ah" she nodded sorry "Well I've a big news for you too… I'm pregnant"
She watched expressions changed on her husband's face: confusion, surprise, happiness.
"I think it's better if you go"
"I don't want to. You're pregnant Joan, we wished that for years" he took her hands
"Yeah and it happened when my husband decided to make me appear like the new Langley's cuckold! Perfect timing" she jerked away
"Please Joan let some weeks pass, the press will stop being interested on my resignation, hopefully the investigation will be over too and we'll be able to go back to our life"
"I don't know Arthur, I don't know what I want anymore. I'm tired of secrets" He was about to argue when she hushed him "There're things you can't tell me and things you decide not to tell me like Teo. This isn't about our job anymore, this is about us, about family"
"Honey listen"
"I don't want to listen, it's always the same story! You hide me things to protect me but it's just an excuse because you can't be honest, you simply can't!"
"It's not true"
"Prove me I'm wrong Arthur, do it!"
He didn't reply.
"You can't, can you? Look, it has been a long day, I need to sleep so please go away"
"Joan I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. You know I can't promise I'll tell you everything but I'll try to be more open. I want this to work between us, for the baby too"
Joan stayed quiet, she simply slipped under the sheets and looked at him one last time.
"I love you" he whispered before going away
"Goodnight Arthur" and she turned off the light
Arthur left their house defeated. He knew it wouldn't have been any easy conversation, Joan was tough and hard-shell sometimes but the baby news changed everything, it wasn't only about them anymore.
He was aware of making her suffer and not just once but he loved her and would have done everything to win her back, to gain her trust again and come back to be a family, the one their baby deserved to have. Yes, she was worth the try, she would ever have.
