Authors Note:
I've been loving the feedback guys, it makes me so happy! I have the next few chapters edited and done, so if I get enough reviews I'll upload the next one in a days time.
Enjoy!
"I slapped him. Omg I slapped him. I slapped him."
I lift my head up from my knees and turn to face Alice. I've been sitting in her car for the past ten minutes repeating the fact that I slapped him.
"Calm down, it couldn't have been that bad. Maybe he thinks you were trying to spank him?"
"You don't spank people on the face Alice! OMG I slapped him, this is like slapping fucking Prince Harry! I'm gonna' get shot, his number 1 fan is going to find out and then hunt me down and kill me, omg what do I do? I slapped hi-"
My head whips towards the headrest as I feel the burn of Alices hand against my left cheek.
"What the fuck was that for?!"
"I needed you to snap out of it, you were going fucking crazy. Who gives a fuck if you slapped him? He's not God or fucking royalty at that!"
She's right. He's just a football player.
"You're right. You're right. You're totally right. Just a football player. Just a football play-"
This time it's my other cheek burning with remnants of Alices hand.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Why did you slap me again when I'm agreeing with you!"
"Well stop fucking repeating things like a mantra."
Shit.
"Ok, I'm sorry."
"Stop fucking apologising aswell!"
"Sor- I mean ok, I'll stop."
"Thank God. Now, count to ten slowly and calm yourself. What's the worst thing that can happen? You don't get your date and you never see him again, is that so bad?"
Yes.
"No, it's exactly what I wanted." Stop lying.
"Well then, there you go. Problem slapped."
"Alice!"
"I'm sorry, but you actually slapped him? Wow. Who would've thought?"
"Argh shutup, you owe me a stack of pancakes, pronto."
Seventy days.
His lips touch mine and I lose control.
I grab onto his shoulders and pull him closer, craving his touch.
He feels like my own personal drug and I'm suddenly addicted.
Addicted to Edward Masen. Well things could be worse.
I feel myself being pulled, but I don't know where to. My body is wrenched from his and I let out a groan.
"No."
He stares back at me, just smiling but it isn't a warm smile.
"You're just like everybody else."
"W-what?"
His words confuse me.
"You're not good enough for me. You're a little girl with stupid dreams you'll never fulfill."
"That's not true."
Why is he being like this?
"Your Dad was right. Do you really think you can become a writer? No-one will want to read the shit you write. You're fucked up. You didn't even cry at your own Uncles funeral, what kind of a person are you?"
Tears are streaming down my face now. It's almost as if they were being stored over the past few years and finally decided to let loose now.
"Are you fucking serious? You're crying now? Wow, you really are something Bella. You stupid little girl."
"I'm not a little girl!"
My voice is cracked, broken.
My words are a mess and it's effort for me to even put a sentence together.
"Yes you are. Always relying on other people, even Alice thinks you're a failure."
"Noo!"
I fall to the floor in a crumpled mess.
I watch as his body fades to nothing, I look around at the small room I'm in, just four walls of nothingness. Like me.
Suddenly I see my Dad in one of the corners, he's cowered over my younger sister, ready to send her face flying into the wall again.
I get a burst of energy and run towards him and pull his hand back. He turns towards me but I don't recognise his face.
It's angry, it's scary, it's evil.
His hand lands on my face and I go crashing down to the floor again.
I wake up panting, out of breath as if I've been running. My alarm clock reads 5:30am. Too late to go back to sleep but too early to do anything else.
I wipe the sweat from my neck and get out of bed to change into my running gear.
With it being summer the sun is already up so it it's bright enough to be able to go on a safe morning jog.
I tie up my trainers and head downstairs to fill up my waterbottle. I find my Dad sitting at our dining table, awake but out of it.
"Where are you going?"
His voice is slurred, his eyes are red.
"For a run."
"At this time of the day?"
"It's 6am Dad."
"Dad, Dad, Dad, that's all I fucking hear. Dad I need money, Dad I need a car, Dad I need this, I need that. Well I got news for all of you, I ain't got kids, so I don't know who the fuck you're calling Dad."
I don't even flinch at his cruel words. The truth is I've heard a lot worse. He's actually ok compared to what I've witnessed before.
I ignore him and turn to walk back out of the kitchen.
"Hey I'm talking to you, don't ignore me."
"I'm leaving."
"Yeah, well fuckoff, nobody wants you here anyway. Little miss perfect. You think you're too good for this family ey?"
My throat closes up. I actually think for a second I'm about to cry, but I refuse to let anyone see me so vulnerable, especially him.
"Seventy days." I whisper to myself.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." I whisper it so I'm not sure he even hears me but I've gone past the point of caring now.
As soon as I step outside the house I leave all my worries behind and focus on my run.
The cool winds harsh on my skin and my legs start to ache less than a mile in because I didn't bother stretching, but I don't stop. I move faster, pushing my body further.
You can do it. You are not a failure.
My vision blurs but I refuse to give up. Faster. Go faster. I can feel my thigh cramping up but I carry on running knowing that if I stop I'll end up welcoming the pain.
Faster. Faster. Faster.
I've ended up at a local park and the areas quiet with no-one about. I wonder what it would feel like to just fall to the ground right here and let it all in.
The worry, the pain, the emotion. All of it.
But then I remember I can't afford to be that girl. I can't afford to be the girl who wallows in her depression constantly. I can't be weak.
I head back home and shower before wasting the day away watching repeats of The Vampire Diaries.
I wonder what it would be like to be immortal. To live an eternity being able to experience the world and more.
I watch a scene between two of the leads. The words are still as powerful as they were the first time I watched the episode.
'You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... '
I wonder what a love like that would feel like? For someone to consume your mind, heart and body. It'd definitely be considered dangerous.
I fall asleep telling myself I've wondered about far too many things today.
Sixty-eight days.
I've spent the last few days as a recluse. I'm now upto date with Glee and American Horror Story. Ryan, Brad I thank you for creating two of my favourite shows and offering me a worthy escapism.
I turn my phone on expecting a few text messages off Alice but instead I find myself bombarded with literally hundreds of texts and miscalls.
'Answer ur god damn fne woman!'
'I'm going 2 kill u Bella, remember me? Ur bestfriend!'
'Ur being a recluse aren't u?!'
'Txt me bk!'
'Hve u died on me?'
'I'm coming 2 hell 2 get u bk dw bby! I'll b the sam 2 ur dean, oh wait or is it dean 2 sam?'
I laugh at Alices texts, she can't half be a drama queen at times, but as I scroll down further I come across random texts from school friends asking to meet up, friends I didn't ever expect to hear from again. Hell I wouldn't even class them as friends, more like acquaintances.
I ring her straight away wondering what the hell is going on.
"Alice?"
"OH MY GOD BELLA! Are you ok? I've been going out of my mind! I tried coming to your house yesterday but Amelia said you were out, that liar!"
"Okaaaay, I'm really confused. I've spent the past few days in my bedroom wishing I had Evan Peters as a boyfriend, why wouldn't I be ok? What have I missed? Wait, has a zombie apocalypse finally hit us? God I've been awaiting this day for yea-"
"What?! No! Have you not watched the news or read a fucking magazine? You're all over the tabloids Bella!"
I open my mouth but no words come out.
"Bella? Are you ok? Omg."
"What do you mean 'all over the tabloids' Alice!?"
"Calm down, it's not that bad."
Even through the phone I can tell Alice is lying which means it must be pretty bad.
"Calm down?!"
"Yeah, just don't go outside your house for a few days. It'll die down soon."
"Go outside my house? What wou- no, oh no!"
I rush out of my room and run down the stairs towards one of the front rooms that over see my front garden from the second floor. I'm hesitant in pulling back the curtain but I have to check. My heart drops as I see about six men with cameras scattered around my garden, poised ready for any kind of movement.
"No, no, no this can't be happening. FUCK. That bastard! It's him isn't it? It's because of him."
"I guess people put two and two together and came up with five babe. According to the tabloids you're Edwards new girl."
I run back to my room and pull up a new tab on my already running laptop.
What the fuck do I even type in?!
"Just put in Edward Masen."
Oh. I must've voiced my question out loud.
I click search and hundreds of articles come up. My fucking face has been plastered over the internet. I'm on the verge of smashing my laptop screen but it will do me no good.
I scan through articles, some state I'm Edwards girlfriend, others say I'm his flavour of the month, some even say Alice and I are both in a relationship with him. God, there's even polls about who he should be with out of the two of us.
I read through comments even though I know I really shouldn't.
'I'm so jealous.'
'Wow, what I'd do to be her.'
'Team Edwella!'
'I'd fuck em both.'
'Edward is a lucky bastard.'
'Alice looks edible.'
'Bellas a fucking cocksucking slut.'
"I'm so sorry Alice, they've fucking brought your name into it. Omg Connor, shit! Alice, please tell me you guys are ok!?"
"It's alright, don't feel bad. If he can't stick with me through a time like this then he is so not worth it. Fuck him. Are you okay?"
"I don't know. According to one person I'm a 'cocksucking slut' wow."
"Oh you fucking wish! You're way too good to be a slut, especially a cocksucking one."
I can't help but laugh. Alice knows just what to say to make me feel better.
"What am I gonna do? I can't have reporters digging into my background, I don't want my business out for the world to see."
"It's not going to come to that, don't worry. I won't let it."
"Thanks Alice, I'll speak to you later."
"Okay, but remember to stay calm, Ciao!"
Authors Note:
The next chapter blows up, a lot happens so look forward to that, and remember to review! :)
