Summary: The H.E.A.T team are on assignment and this time they're dealing with two Godzilla Juniors. It's nurture vs. nature gone crazy especially when a disgruntled artist and a hyperactive ninja (guess who) become parents to giant fire breathing lizards with demon chakra powering up their pipes.


Author's Note: I don't own Naruto or Godzilla the series. This takes place in an alternate universe since I don't know how much damage bouncing baby lizards the size of football fields can make. I've been researching all over the place to make sure this story is believable. Behold . . . suspense and Sasuke runs around in a sweat shirt.

//RINGTONE//


(What happened so far)

Sai got the picture that he wanted of the group under the Northern Lights.

Yamato stood in the back with a stoic smile a little behind Sakura and her tentative approach at a cute girly grin. Naruto and I proceeded to give each other bunny ears by our grin split faces. Sasuke wobbled off balance a little, his zipper broke opening to reveal the 'HUG ME' sweatshirt underneath the jacket. Shogi and Jira were out in front of the team giving Sai a bone crushing hug. Yet the one thing to light this picture up was the glow of the northern lights. Who would trade a picture like that for the world?


Kaiju Chaos Kyuubi Style

Chapter 4: A hit in the face

(Aleutian Island Hot Springs Sasuke's Point of View)

Agh, I feel so useless! First of all I've still got burns on my butt from getting fried by a couple of baby lizards that all my old teammates called Shogi and Jira. If that weren't enough, I get beat up again when those same lizards went after a cup of Ramen geez they already take after the Dobe(1). I get caught up in the middle of the fight at first this Murray guy laughs at me like it is funny. It's not funny especiallywhen a couple girls pin you down and start snapping you back into place. Well it was Sakura who did all the bone breaking; when did she get so strong! Clarity had her hands clamped down and well her face just shut down. I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

Oh I bet everybody's wondering what Naruto did to me. He surprised me is all he did. I mean the last time I saw him I made him cry. I left him literally in tears. Now instead of oh I don't know a hug. He pulls the Naruto Uzumaki Barrage(2) on my face along with a knee to the gut and a beat down that would have made Tsunade-sama proud.

Clarity says nothing until it's just the two of us. She shoved my own hand in my face. All I hear is blah blah blah even after I beg her to cool down. I mean I've been through one of Clarity's ranting sessions. It makes her look on Smokey the bear on crack. She has this habit of blathering on and on and on and on to the point I feel like a nap.

. . . Her next words were what cut me to the core.

"If I weren't behind a camera I'd have literally throttled you for letting this happen to yourself." I remember her snarling, she was crying actually crying! "Wouldn't your brother be proud? You're already one step away from following in his footsteps and getting yourself killed."

'Ah man please don't cry, don't cry, don't cry . . . Grrr I SOUND LIKE THE DOBE!' I yell to myself inside my head. It wasn't her words that hurt me it was her tears. Clarity is one of the most idiotic adults I ever met. She drinks coffee like a well that pumps oil. She's violent, selfish, and yet she never worries about herself it's always someone else.

I can handle fan girls, I can handle the dramatic love confessions, but what I can't handle is some woman who reminds me of my Mom Mikoto Uchiha. My mom is pretty much the exact opposite of Clarity (except for the never worries over herself part) and yet it's still there; those little reactions of kindness and the sudden urge to completely embarrass me. We fight like weasels and snakes. I've never fought with my Mom but I've never had many people so open to me with their heart not including Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto.

Speaking of which, that Murray dude just made me a crutch. Yeah it's crude, kind of has that earthy feel but at least it fits. I've still got a broken arm and leg on one side. It's so embarrassing having to yell like a pregnant woman who can't get up.

I'm still wearing that stupid 'HUG ME' sweatshirt I hate but it is cold so I don't feel so tempted to use a fireball jutsu and blow it to smithereens . . . Yet. I do feel tempted to take a soak in the hot springs but these casts aren't water proof and I so don't want to ask Naruto to help me with a sponge bath. That is just so wrong on so many levels. Still a hobble around camp and everyone feels like strangers to me. I never took the time to notice how much has changed.

Naruto's growth spurt is hardly unnoticeable. He still wears orange and is still an obnoxious little idiot. Clarity was trying to get him to study. I'd wish her good luck but Naruto never studies. Iruka(3) even had a hard time trying to get him to learn something. Good grief, say the words written test and Naruto's knees buckle under the pressure. Dare I say believe it? Of course Naruto being Naruto just had to be unpredictable.

"Okay so the Aloe Vera is actually a desert cactus you can find out in the plains that can help treat burns, The Iris is actually perfect for desert landscaping, and the Alliums are actually edible?" Naruto asked.

"Okay to answer your questions in order is yes, yes, and yes." Clarity explained in the voice I've heard her use on me when I tried to make coffee (not touching that again), "Oh yeah don't forget about the Pansies they're edible too."

"Cool!" Naruto beamed, "I wonder how they'll taste with Miso Ramen, I can't wait to try that out with the flowers in my window box at home."

THUD

"Oy Sasuke you okay?" Murray asked and I just couldn't believe it. Naruto . . . waters flowers? He actually knew stuff and you didn't have to pull teeth to get him to just get it?

"You do owe me Clarity remember?" Naruto demanded. Clarity sagely nods and pulls out this tally sheet that has the word "Ramen" on it. Of course, Naruto would go to amazing lengths for a ramen treat.

I have no hard feelings toward Yamato. I mean I hardly know him except that one time I blew up Orochimaru's lair as soon as I woke and man was that fun! Other than that he's just fine I guess. He was actually pretty animated when Clarity got into talking about Alaskan trees and of course all three got into this debate over which tree was harder. Yamato knew his facts from practicing Mokuton no Jutsu. Clarity knew hers from research. Naruto knew his facts by getting slammed into trees all the time, he gauges them at which tree hurt the worst.

"Sakura," I ask in as manly a way I could, "Can I have a little help up please?"

I squinted my eyes shut; ready for the dreaded fawning she usually does over me but . . . It never comes. She yanks me up by the scruff of my neck. She pats me off and then goes on about her merry way. She even goes to give me a quick pat on the back before walking away. I feel so useless; she used to practically prance at my heels like a little lap dog. Now she's even laughing it up with Naruto and the rest of their team. Dare I say it, my old comrades have changed, everyone changed and I'm the one that's changed the least, power hungry, I'll admit my favorite word is power.

So where does that leave me? More time to myself I guess. Man these ninja should pay attention more. Heck I should've paid attention more when a shadow separated itself from the trees. Make that three shadows, I couldn't sense their chakra signature because I was too busy thinking. So, where did that leave me?

GLOMP

It left me being hugged by the one named . . . Sai. He had a book in one hand his "How to Cheer People Up for Dummies". His other arm suggestively wrapped around me. Was he from another planet or something? I gave him a death glare. Sai just stared and stared. A hawk keened in the distance to fill that long awkward silence since well it was too cold for the crickets to be here.

"What . . . Are . . . You doing?" I snarled.

"Your shirt said to hug you." Sai innocently stated, "You look lonely."

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE!" I screamed swinging my crutch at him. Sai ducked and poked me in the nose. I fell on flat on my can.

"eh . . . Ah . . . Arrrrgh." I growled with the effort of trying to get up but all that told me was what I had nothing and nobody. I felt really jealous, how could some orphan such as Naruto suddenly gain everything while I had nothing is what I want to say to myself. Yet I felt two pair of familiar claws at my abdomen.

"Up you go," Jira crooned. Shogi was wagging his tail and giving me a vulpine grin. It was kind of cute but really disturbing. It was as if Naruto suddenly turned into a man sized brown lizard. Jira's golden eyes glittered in a mix of mirth, concern, and that kind of unconditional love you'd expect from a child. Oh right, they're baby lizards. Who says they'll imprint on anyone else.

"Ojisan!(4)" Jira cheered.

"WHAT THE!" I yelled, before I got mauled by two lizards, "Get off me! I'm not your uncle!"

"But you smell like Okaasan and Papa," Jira purred, "Shogi even says so too."

Then it hits me, great, that blasted sweatshirt! The egg gunk that was down Clarity's back. The time she wrestled this thing onto me. Great, I'm a lizard's uncle. I still lost everything so whoop de . . .

GONG

"Where the heck were you!" Clarity huffed after throwing a skillet in my face, "You . . . You . . ."

"Sasuke you had us worried sick!" Sakura finished eyes blazing, "First you go moping around the place, face faulting, and then-"

"Sai comes over to tell me you were thinking of suicide?" Yamato calmly responded, "What is going on here!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Naruto yelled grabbing the scruff of my borrowed 'HUG ME' shirt. Man I'm starting to hate that thing, "WE WANT YOU BACK ALIVE NOT DEAD YOU MORON!"

"Naruto," I quipped, "I'm not thinking of suicide."

"Don't get me started on how many countries I hopped to and from just to find you. You already defected once." Naruto blabbed on and on and on, good grief Clarity and the Idiot are rubbing off on each other.

"Naruto," I quipped, as his 'son' Shogi was standing right behind him mouthing everything he said.

"Rar raar rar rar roar," Shogi blathered mimicking Naruto's wild hand gestures with his forepaws. He waddled back and forth trying to copy Naruto's sloppy stomping pace. It was too funny, I just had to laugh.

"Ha ha ha . . . Ha ha . . . HA HA HA HA," I chortled.

"Sakura what's that noise is he sick or something?" Naruto asked giving that screwball confused look of his. Shogi just mirrored the expression.

"HA HA HA HA HA HAAAH," I guffawed, oh man, my ribs hurt.

"Okaasan what is that noise coming out his nose?" Jira asked.

"Hah hah hah hah . . . *snort*" I decided to stop laughing, I tried to hold it down, but the giggles would just not stop. Clarity knew what was wrong with me. She saw me laugh at the way Shogi screwed up his colossal lizard face trying to act like Naruto. An evil grin slithered across her lips, oh no please tell me she's not going to say . . .

"Sasuke . . . Breath."

My sides split, I kept laughing till I couldn't breathe; my cheeks as red as a cherry tomato. Naruto was frantically panicking. Shogi lifted his arms in the same reaction and tail slapped Shikamaru in the face. Sakura wailed on Naruto. Clarity was rolling on the ground laughing. Yamato sighed and walked away. Sai was nowhere to be seen. Jira however cocked her head as if she heard a certain noise and the next thing I know I'm flying through the air and . . . I . . . Still . . . Can't . . . Breath.

(Back where Jira threw Sasuke, Clarity's Point of View)

What I saw before me totally bogged my mind. Still the girl's only a baby and I'm not going to teach her how to throw stuff . . . yet.

"Jira," I demanded, "Next time you throw a Sasuke sized object. Make sure, you know where you're going to throw it instead of out IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN!"

"But I did, I did, I did, know where to throw him," Jira crooned, "I threw Sasuke to get help from Dr. You-are-so-busted Nick." Jira wagged her tale. I face faulted. Oh boy, now I knew how a parent feels like with an impossible child.


(Meanwhile on the H.E.A.T. Seeker 3rd Person Point of View)

Randy was humming himself a joyful tune as Mendel was up at the bow of the ship, suffering from sea sickness yet again. He grabbed his laptop, propped his feet up on Mendel's desk and proceeded to eat the fries beside Mendel's 100% germ free cheeseburger. Many ideas were running through his head at what he could get N.I.G.E.L to do for the day. He had a few ideas of making of making him speak Klenon or pig latin. He could make N.I.G.E.L sound like Mendel's mother for old times sake. He had too many bright ideas and not enough inspiration. He still had the hearing to pick up upon a sixteen year old boy screaming his lungs out while flying at Mach 2.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH

CRASH

GYAH

CRASH

Randy looked up from his, actually Mendel's, fries and asked, "Did we just install a new escape hole?"

He ran to the one hole on the left; ducktail shaped hair, funny pants check, and when he looked to the floor he found a really cool sword. It was a plain blue hilt. The blade, a long thin katana shortsword. Monique would've loved it. Still, he didn't how it got there. He unsheathed and started to swing it around. He imagined himself as a ninja.

"Cool," He grinned and sheathed the sword. He took a look to the other side and saw a flying boy flailing and screaming further and further away.

"Wow a flying ninja!" exclaimed Randy until he squinted at the big 'HUG ME' logo at the back of his sweatshirt, "Wait what in the heck is he wearing?"

Randy scratched his head but shrugged his shoulders and went about his merry way to see about screwing with NIGEL some more.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," Sasuke screamed until he skimmed across the water like a stone.

SPLASH

SPLASH

KER-SMASH

Poor Sasuke got his head stuck into the side of a glacier. He put both his hands and feet on the icy wall. He charged chakra into all four limbs and budged. The wall wouldn't budge. Sasuke's head was still stuck in the side of the glacier.

'Great just great,' Sasuke snarled in his head but if he had the nerve to grin like a complete idiot he would have, 'tossed by a baby lizard into a chunk of ice. Man if my brother were ever like her I'd be dead already. Actually, wait if my brother were actually like Jira, then maybe I wouldn't have had to always ask Mom how to deal with him? Jira's easier to understand since she does take after a spitball and a dobe.'

He felt his own temperature rise at the memories. Clarity's often affectionately ruffling his hair before berating him for not watching his health. His eyes stun at the constant yet, hindsight wise, amusing squabbles with Naruto. That Murray guy's simple gestures of friendship and excited look of awe the last time he heated a B.L.T. with a phoenix flower jutsu that blew nearly two thirds of Clarity's wall where the linseed oil was placed. He remembered the changes he'd seen in his friends at the land of wave. Something caught in his throat.

"How long was I gone . . . Four, five years?" Sasuke wondered to himself as he got to his feet, "Now I know how someone feels when he or she suddenly turns up at those high school reunions Clarity is always designing posters for."

"Hey did you see that?" yelled a voice. Sasuke's mutation enhanced ears perked at the sound of a very big very smooth running motorboat nearly a mile away.

"Oh no . . . not again," Another voice whined (Mendel), "Well . . . actually . . . I've never heard Randy act frantic before."

"But I saw it I swear," The voice Sasuke guessed was Randy hit a note that made his ears ring, "I saw a flying ninja scream like a little girl."

The rest of the people aboard the ship looked at Randy like he was clueless. Sasuke couldn't make out what the side of the ship said. It was rusty, and you could probably scrape off plenty of the paint with a fingernail. He took a step slipped and did the splits.

SMACK

Sasuke landed right on his hinny.

(Meanwhile on an ice burg, Sasuke's point of view)

'How could I forget my casts?' I whined those infernal contraptions cost me my dignity, to heck with my pride, "Grrrrr when I get my hands on Naruto I'm so gonna . . . RRARRRGH"

//HIYA KIDS THIS IS ELMO!!! PICK UP THE PHONE THIS IS ELMO CALLING. ELMO WANTS TO SAY HE LOOOOOOVES YOU!//

My phone goes off. Great and just when I get into the middle of a good rant too. I stole this phone off of one of Orochimaru's henchmen and I still can't work the damn thing. Who in their right mind likes that silly fur ball Elmo for a ringtone?

SPLOOSH

GRROWWWLLL

An ominous huge reptilian head cast its ever present shadow across me blotting out the sun. I turned around as much as my casts would let me, man my nether regions hurt. Somehow I don't think Shogi could suddenly just get extra huge and gain thousand pounds! Something tells me this is the daddy.

". . . uh . . . Hi," I greet the lizard not sure he can understand human, Jira's quite the loudmouth and she speaks well, "WAIT WHAT'RE YOU DOING!"

The big black lizard sniffed me. He hooked a huge black into my shirt and dangled me in front of his nose.

"Chidori!" I scream pushing Raiton Chakra into my fist and aiming the technique at his face. Man, that hide is thick. I felt like I was hitting a thick rubber wall. The flash of light did nothing to deter the boat. In fact the boat just went rattling over. That's the last thing I saw before the beast opened his mouth and swallowed me whole. I could only hear the swish of water as he descended into the Pacific Ocean below.


Entertaining Footnotes: This is just a refresher or just a few clues and hints for those that may be unfamiliar with either Naruto or Godzilla: the Series. I also included a few hints on how Clarity ended becoming familiar with the Ninja World.

(1) Dobe- Idiot/deadlast- Sasuke's favorite nickname for Naruto.

(2) Naruto Uzumaki Barrage- It's one of Naruto's own moves that he used in the chuunin exams to defeat Kiba.

(3) Iruka- An chuunin and teacher at the ninja academy.

(4) Ojisan-basically Jira just called Sasuke her uncle.