Her fist makes contact with the wall and Diana curses harshly. It's not like her but she long felt herself slipping away. The truth – the very one she refuses to believe, even as it stares in her face – is that she's lost. She lost herself somewhere along the line – probably after Wally was lost to them all. Too much lost, she thinks. The word features in her mind too frequently. "Hades take it," she mutters. Unfocused eyes snap with clarity. She glares at Batman. "What can I do to make you listen?" Absolutely nothing; she knows that. His mind's made up and nothing can change it now.
Serious reflection brings her to the conclusion that she is lost – not because she doesn't want to be found – because she can't seem to let go of the past. She can't let go of Wally and she can't let go of what they were a few short years ago. It's startling to realise she is not that strong.
"We've chosen our path." This time it's Bruce that speaks to her. "You can't back out just because it's not a bed of roses. Have you been labouring under the misconception that it'd be easy?"
Fury explodes on her face and for one terrifying moment, she's ready to crush his skull. Instead she takes three deep breaths. "I'm not an idiot," she replies, deceptively calm. Between walking away and breaking every bone in his body, she chooses the former. Quiet steps guide her to the door.
"Where are you going?" The venom in his voice is chilling to her ears. "We're not done talking," he says hurrying after her. Her wrist is snatched with a firm grip – it's not enough to stop her though.
"I'm done with this." It's an angry retort and she deliberately uses the singular form. How can there be a 'we' when lately all they do is fight? Nothing big – but she can't help thinking it would be better if it were. It's the small things that set them off. Of course underneath it all lies the crux of the matter. Diana wants to go back to what once was and Bruce pulls her forward. And Hades take it all, she's trying but it's not working.
What started with Wally's death, with just one villain obliterated had been growing and growing, and eating away at her. The others found the transition easier. Even Bruce, to her surprise – and horror – can stomach it. But for some reasons Diana can't. It's not that she herself hasn't taken lives before, but she feels like they are loosing themselves. Slowly, but surely.
Spinning her around, Bruce drags her back to the room and the settee. "Princess, I don't know what brought this on, but I'm tired."
"So am I," she submits moments later. The cushion dips under the additional weight as he joins her. "It's exhausting." She would never think to admit this to anyone else.
Bruce slips an arm around her shoulders. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to. It's a tender moment when he brushes his lips to her temple. It's soothing, but the fear inside of her subsides for just an instant. Then it's back with a vengeance.
Maybe it's time to face the truth – that horrible truth which won't let her sleep at night; not that she sleeps much anymore. Her courage leaves her at this challenge and she sags against Bruce.
And that's that I suppose.
