The Dreaded Note from the Author: No real excuse for the lousy update time again... Oh well... Thanks to Rowin Wolf and Miwasaki Yuki rin for their reviews on the last chapter! Enjoy!
3/25/13 EDIT: Four is on the way, but in the meantime this chapter had some spelling issues that needed contending with.
3/27/13 EDIT: This is now three AND four in one chapter.
Chapter 3: Scruples are for Losers
"So what's our 'funfunfun' family game for tonight...?" Zexion asked with apparent disinterest, planting his head on the wooden table with a sigh. Xemnas was quick to reply to his query, always willing to show off a verbose 'and obviously superior' speech:
"I have sent trustworthy Number X to search the deep, deep, confines of the old hall closet; a trusty flashlight in hand and the good help of Number III to aid him in his mission of finding perhaps one small article worthy of the play of my colleagues and I." And then without missing a beat - or even taking a breath, he continued, "But they must have been somewhat delayed; as they have not informed of us their progress for quite a considerable amount of time... Though I'm sure that they may best any sort of rogue dust bunnies or spiders that may lay in their path - being of course, members of the elite Organization XIII."
"Well, thank you very much for their life stories, Xemnas," Zexion said sarcastically, "but I think a simple 'I don't know,' would have sufficed; don't you?"
Xemnas shrugged and answered, "Such short, boorish, and quite frankly - plain frail and boring - phrases just disgust me. They are so awful, I make it a point never to add such grotesque language to my extensive and obviously superior grand assortment of vocabularic words."
"...Vocabularic isn't a word..." Vexen whispered with an eye roll.
"QUIET, OAF!" Xemnas roared, leaping to his feet and smashing his fists against the table, "IF THE GREAT XEMNAS SAYS THAT VOCABULARIC IS A WORD, THEN VOCABULARIC IS A WORD! IS THAT CLEAR TO ALL PRESENT?!"
"Great, now you've set him off with the third-person talk again!" Zexion slapped his forehead.
"Oh, wonderful." Marluxia shook his head.
"THE GREAT XEMNAS BELIEVES HE ASKED: IS THAT CLEAR?"
"It's clear," all others stated without much enthusiasm.
"And now that that's all over and done with," Zexion turned his head to face Lexaeus beside him, inquiring of him a more understandable account of the whereabouts of Xaldin and Luxord than the one that Xemnas had given him.
"They did go into the closet some time ago..." Number V admitted after being asked. Scratching his great chin thoughtfully, he then added, "About twenty minutes I'd estimate... Though we have heard a noise from them from time to time... so I suppose they're most likely fine..."
As if on an exact cue from this statement on the part of the Silent Hero, an immediate loud crash followed by still louder clamor and a great amount of scuffling was heard down the hall from the Grey Area, obviously its source being the hall closet - or rather more the Luxord and Xaldin that it contained.
"Hey!" Saïx shouted, banging his fist on the table as terrible thoughts of his beloved ceramic pot collection being damaged went through his head. "What are you two idiots doing in there?!"
"This fool," Luxord voice echoed into the room as another crash was heard, and a cry of pain from Xaldin, "insists on molesting me! Despite my obvious objections! I implore you to remove him from my person! No! Let! Me! Go!"
There was probably about one-millionth of a second of silence - if that much - before all Organization members at the table - with the exceptions of innocent XIII and XIV - instantly jumped to their feet with horrified looks on their faces; the same, terrifying thought passing through all their minds at once - and in front of Saïx's ceramic pot collection too!
"WHAT?!" Xemnas roared.
"EWWWW!" Axel screamed, sticking out his tongue.
"Impossible!" Saïx shouted, "Xaldin has credentials!"
"AGHH! THE IMAGE! IT BURNS!" Marluxia screeched as he pulled and yanked at his long pink locks, crumpling to the floor in psychological pain and shock. "GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! GHAAAA!"
All Xigbar could do to relay he understood the severity of the situation was to gag and choke on the coffee (with looooots of cream) he was drinking; eventually falling to floor blue in the face as he tried to regurgitate the hot liquid. But that's not important right now, so we'll move on.
"Axel?" Roxas asked absently as he watched Number V attempting to scar Number II for life by performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation on him. "What's everybody getting so upset about?"
"Yeah," Xion piped in, cocking her head to the side, "what's going on?" Both children looked up at Axel with big blue eyes that could and would put Bambi to shame.
"Uhh..." Axel began awkwardly, beginning to twiddle his thumbs as a bead of sweat ran down the side of his face. He racked his brain for a reply that wouldn't lead to more questions he did not want to answer. "W-Well... Um-"
"Hey! Xaldin! Off of Luxord!" Saïx was heard commanding off in the distance.
"But it was he who started it!" Xaldin declared, pointing angrily to Luxord.
"I started it?!" Luxord gasped, looking flabbergasted. "How dare you insinuate such a deplorable explanation!"
"Well, if you would have simply handed over the box like a civilized being-"
"You're calling me uncivilized, Monkey Man?"
"MONKEY MAN?! WHY I OUGHT TO-"
"OUGHT TO WHAT?"
"HEY!" Saïx interrupted, stamping his foot, "knock it off!" He then breathed deeply once before continuing, "I think you both - particularly Xaldin - have some explaining to do."
"Hey! Why single me out?" Xaldin questioned.
"W-Well... because Luxord stated that you... you..." Saïx began to look a bit uncomfortable, "that you... er..."
"Oh!" Luxord broke in. "No! Not that kind of molesting you merry old fool! Hahaha!" Luxord slapped Saïx on the back with a hearty laugh. "What I meant was that he was aggressively impeding me! I wanted you to get in here and get the brute off of me! What a silly ninny you are!"
"Ah... I-I see..."
"Brute? Me?" Xaldin scoffed. "Only a snake would call an innocent man such as I a brute!"
"I am not a snake! You're simply a toad!"
"You are too a snake you pig!"
"I am not you cow!"
"You are too you-"
"HEY!" Xemnas' voice boomed through the castle above their racket, they could feel his face becoming red with rage. "YOU AND ALL THOSE BARNYARD ANIMALS IN THERE WITH YOU HAD BEST COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW WITH YOUR OH-SO SORRY TAILS BETWEEN YOUR PITIFUL LEGS OR YOU SHALL FACE PAINFUL AND VERY SLOW ERADICATION AT THE HANDS OF ALL OTHER PRESENT MEMBERS OF THE GREAT ORGANIZATION XIII WHO ARE LED AS YOU KNOW BY THE POWERFUL AND AWE-INSPIRING GREAT XEMNAS!"
Immediately - well, immediately after the earsplitting echo faded anyway - there was a quiet pause as silence took over the former noise of Luxord and Xaldin's brawl. Back at the table glances were exchanged by the parties present as they anxiously awaited the coming of their colleagues. Then slowly, but quite surely, Luxord and Xaldin padded into the Grey Area with large frowns on each of their faces; they were being prodded along by Saïx.
After Number VII had again taken his seat, Xemnas turned toward Numbers III and X. He leered menacingly at the both of them and looked them up and down individually - as if to size them up. He then tapped his finger to his chin repeatedly as he contemplated how he would address the situation. He mouthed a few words here and there as he attempted to come up with a powerful and compelling speech to suit the occasion. After a bit of scribbling on a napkin and rehearsing in the bathroom, he said to the two offenders:
"Four score and seven years ago-"
"Xemnas, get on with it!" Axel urged.
"Oh, all right... Please explain quite clearly and with proper mannerisms and grammar both to the parties assembled here today the exact events that occurred within the grey storage closet in question; so that the edict deciding your fate may be more fairly and justly issued by the judge before you."
"Aren't judges elected officials...?" Demyx questioned, cocking his head to the side.
"SILENCE!" Xemnas shouted, the room echoing his booming cry yet again.
"EEP!" Demyx did a tiny, mouse-like shriek before retreating to a safe haven under the table.
"This might explain why he never learns anything..." Axel muttered.
"DID THE GREAT XEMNAS GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK?!" Xemnas demanded as he turned to face Number VIII.
"Freedom of speech is one of the first rights listed in the constitution Xemnas," Axel replied, "you should know that." He shook his head and clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
"...This isn't America..." Zexion reminded him.
Axel looked at Zexion a moment. "...Oh... yeah... How 'bout that..." he said as he scratched his head.
"And that means: THE GREAT XEMNAS DECLARES THIS A COMMUNIST COUNTRY! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK!" Xemnas yelled.
"Whatever you say, Mr. Stalin!" Axel said with a smile and a quick salute.
"BE SILENT!" Xemnas screamed as he had Saïx quickly stick a piece of Mr. Sticky's Super Sticky Ducky Duct Tape over Number VIII's mouth.
"...What kind of guy walks around with his own duct tape...?" Marluxia asked.
"A guy who's prepared!" Saïx replied, tucking his tape into his pocket and patting it triumphantly.
"Prepared? For what? For his world to "fall apart"? AHAHAHAHA! That was funny!"
"...No it wasn't..." Zexion murmured.
"Shut up."
"Please excuse The Great Xemnas, but if the Campfire Girls don't mind stopping their meeting for just a moment: HE'D LIKE TO FINISH BERATING AND EVEN PERHAPS INJURING THESE TWO INGRATES FOR CAUSING RUCKUS IN AND POSSIBLY DAMAGE TO HIS GREAT AND GLORIOUS CASTLE! SO SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!"
Once again, silence reigned supreme as Xemnas let his blood-pressure return to the its normal, though still well-above human levels. Then, he slowly opened his mouth, and addressed Numbers III and X:
"Once again, please tell those assembled the exact order of events that took place. The exact events please."
Luxord and Xaldin looked at Xemnas, then looked at each other, then looked at Xemnas, and then looked at each other. Then each took a brief breath, and:
"This idiot-"
"This madman-"
"When I was simply minding my own business-"
"There I was, not harming a soul with my-"
"And then he suddenly just assaulted me-"
"And from behind came a wicked laugh before I was set upon by-"
"Alright! Alright!" Saïx interjected, attempting to soothe Numbers III and X into having a rational, one-at-a-time debate. But his efforts were in vain, as they did absolutely nothing in the way of halting the argument.
"So taking a step back for good measure, I-"
"Then after gaining a good distance from my new opponent, I-"
"HEY! HE SAID 'ALRIGHT'!" Xemnas shouted above the clamor as he stamped his foot to silence the arguing members.
"..."
"..."
All was quiet.
Again.
Xemnas narrowed his eyes, glaring most intensely at Axel, Luxord, and Xaldin. "...The Great Xemnas really does hope that the lot of you are quite pleased with yourselves and your insane acts of sheer ludicrously; as you have succeeded in providing him with a splitting headache." Xemnas held his head and turned to those seated at the table. "He will take for granted that at least some of you are somewhat capable of finding a game suitable for someone of his high social and economic caliber to play: So please do so. He will now go and take some high-quality, expensive and obviously superior brand of aspirin, while you decide on this evening's pass-time. Numbers III and X will be temporarily forgiven for their transgression, as The Great Xemnas hasn't the energy to deal with further shenanigans. He will see you in a few minutes." Number I lumbered out of the room sullenly.
Luxord and Xaldin stood awkwardly for a moment after Xemnas had gone, as if wondering whether they were allowed to sit or not. Which was more or less true - though probably more so. But soon after being nudged by Roxas and Xion, the pair slowly took their places among the group. Following this, a bit of explaining their individual sides of the story how the fighting had started happened, and inevitably, each gained their own set of sympathizers. This caused a quick unanimous agreement that it would be best to simply drop the whole thing and never bring it up again; lest they start warring among themselves. None wanted the Banana Affair to repeat itself. So that's what they did. Now we move on to where the actual build-up to the game happens, as that has been alluding us long enough:
"So what's our 'funfunfun' family game for tonight...?" Zexion asked with apparent disinterest, planting his head on the wooden table with a sigh. He then looked about him curiously, getting the strangest sense of déjà vu.
"Well, I'm actually glad that you asked Zexion," Luxord stated with a smile, plopping a dusty red game box none noticed he had been holding on the table before his assembled colleagues. "I found this little gem collecting grime in the back of the closet-"
"You mean I found it..." Xaldin muttered.
"What happened to forgetting about it...?" Zexion asked. Xaldin just scoffed.
"Anyway," Luxord broke in, "I thought it looked quite an interesting concept upon reading the back of the box."
"Scruples..." Larxene read, standing up and taking the withered box in her hands to study the writing on the cover. "...Sounds like a disease... Lame!" she tossed it over her shoulder dismissively. Of course it hit Demyx.
"Hey!" Number IX yelled as the box collided with his face, making him splutter from all the dust. "Cough! Cough! ...What was that for?!" he demanded with a whiney flair.
Larxene snorted and whispered to Axel beside her, "Watch this," she then turned and leered at Number IX menacingly, "Problem Demy-dear?" she asked with an evil smile only she could properly pull off.
"Uh... No...?" Demyx said uncertainly with no short amount of fear and chattering teeth.
"That's what I thought." Larxene dropped back into her chair triumphantly.
"Hey, when did Demyx crawl out from under the table?" Axel wondered.
"Shhhh!" Xaldin chided, smacking Axel on the back of the head. "Remember the 'Ignorance of the plot holes' rule!"
"Hey! But you just broke the 'Don't break the fourth wall' rule!"
"But now you just broke the 'Don't mention to a person that they have recently broke the fourth wall due to you would therefore be breaking the don't break the fourth wall rule yourself' rule!"
"There isn't a rule for that!"
"Umm... May we please get back on subject people?" Luxord asked with a twinge of annoyance in his voice. "As I said, I-"
"Nobodies..." Vexen muttered.
"...Excuse me?" Luxord asked, turning to face Number IV.
"Nobodies..." Vexen repeated, "not people... Nobodies..."
Luxord stared at Vexen for a moment with a somewhat murderous glint in his eyes, his entire being shaking with an inner rage. But then he accessed that great white cabinet within his heart full of inner peace, love and all that rot. After the hippie junk, he just took a deep breath before saying, "So I believe we'll play this tonight, all in agreement?" a few shrugs and a couple of raised hands were seen all along the table.
"Very good then." Luxord plucked off the lid of his box. This, of course, caused a spray of dust to shoot up into the air, causing a second choking fit in addition to the first on the part of Xigbar. And as Number II was quite barely recovered from his initial wrestle with ol' Death, this put him and those little stars dancing about his vision very close to the bright lights. Though as you've probably guessed, not important. Moving on:
"Hmm..." Luxord mused as looked over a very wrinkled piece of paper he he had pulled from the box, studying the rules of the game. "So it seems that the gist of the game is this: I'm to pass out five yellow cards, each with a moral dilemma," he passed out randomly from a yellow deck of cards the aforementioned cards; making sure to pass out the proper amount also to Xemnas' empty spot, knowing that Number I would throw a certain fit if he had been overlooked even in absence. "And then, pass out to each player a single red card, with either 'yes', 'no', or 'depends' written on it." Luxord passed out red cards as well. "Then, taking a question written on one of their yellow cards, a player must ask the question to the person whom they most think will reply with the answer on the red card. If the answer matches the red card, the player asking the question gets rid of their yellow card and red card, and picks up a new red card. In this way, the game tests how well players know the other players. The game is over when someone gets rid of all five cards. Clear enough?"
"Wait..." Saïx suddenly said, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated something, "this 'game', as you call it, sounds a lot more like an invasion of privacy and a personal affront rather than a simple tool created for the purpose of mild amusement..."
"'Tool created for the purpose of mild amusement?" Axel snorted, rolling his eyes. "Who taught you that line?"
"It is of my own creation - thank you," Saïx replied curtly.
"Look," Luxord broke in, annoyed, "are we playing or not?"
"...Fine..." Saïx slumped into his chair, sulking while Luxord began to prep the game.
"So... Who's going to go first?" Xaldin asked curiously after they had all sorted themselves out.
"I shall," Xemnas declared, by this time he had returned to the group - his first person speech restored to him. "As I am, of course, the obviously superior Number I of the great, elite group that is Organization XIII. As such I will go first. So..." he squinted at the yellow cards in his hand intently. "I believe my question shall be for... you: Number IV."
"Me?" Vexen questioned.
"Yes, you! Last time I checked you were Number IV! Haven't you any ears, infidel?"
"...The context was completely wrong for that word you know..."
"Shut up."
"It was a rhetorical 'me' anyway you know..."
"Must you put 'you know' at the end of every sentence?!" Xemnas asked angrily.
"Maybe you know."
"I despise you..." Xemnas frowned before reading the question off of his card:
You're strolling in the park, when you see a hurt dog limping along the road a few yards off. Do you attempt to help the animal?
"Does it count if I use it as a guinea pig afterward?" Vexen asked.
"No!" Everyone shouted at the same time. Well, except Larxene - but that's a given of course.
"Well then, no! I don't! Let the beast die for all I care!"
"Hah!" Xemnas hurrahed triumphantly. "I was correct in my prediction!" He tossed his red card in a discard pile along with his yellow, and picked up a new one. "I am off to quite a good start it appears..." he said with a wicked grin.
"I guess like I'll go next since I'm like, Number II dudes," Xigbar said as he studied his own cards. "Hmm... Oh! Alright, this one is for the Axel!" He read off the card:
Visa
1027846701347561
Expiration date: 11/15
Saïx Saïx
"Er... depends...?" Axel said uncertainly.
"Hey! That's my credit card!" Saïx shouted. He snatched the card from Xigbar's grasp. "Why you little-"
"Accident, bro!" Xigbar cried, holding up his hands. "I don't know how that got there! Honest!"
Saïx ignored Xigbar, looking somewhat confused as turned his recovered credit card in his hands. "I don't get it... This was safely tucked into my wallet! How did... oh, who even cares anymore?" He crumpled into his seat and buried his head in his hands. "I should have listened to Mother and went to medical school..."
"Dude... I-I made him cry..." Xigbar whispered sorrowfully. He got up and walked over to Saïx. He patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry man... I didn't-"
"I'M NOT CRYING!"
"But dude-"
"DON'T. TOUCH. ME."
"While they settle their marital dispute," Xaldin interrupted, "I'll go. Normally I'd probably ask Saïx this question, but as he is currently 'out of action' I guess, I'll turn to Demyx instead."
"Great." Demyx deadpanned, slumping in his chair. "I just love being the second choice."
"Whatever," Xaldin waved him off.
You're on an airplane, and a lone child sitting behind you begins to constantly push the assistance button. Do you berate the child despite his not being your own?
"Well," Demyx mused, "since I'd probably be sleeping-"
"Let's just say you're awake." Xaldin told him.
"Well, if I was awake, I'd probably be playing my sitar..."
"You wouldn't be allowed."
"Well, if I wasn't playing my sitar, I'd probably be eating-"
"You've just finished."
"Well, if I wasn't eating, I'd probably-"
"Good heavens above, Demyx!" Xemnas exclaimed. "Just answer him, would you?! Yes or no?!"
"Uh... No I guess..." Demyx shrugged.
"...Very well." Xaldin glared at his 'Yes' card as he threw it down. "Go ahead, Vexen."
"My question is for the... puppet..." Vexen said.
You are given an opportunity to receive a lifetime supply of riches and fame alike, but you must murder your own best friend to obtain it. Do you go through with it?
"No," Xion stated plainly, shaking her head.
"Hah! Just as I thought!" Vexen discarded his card with a smirk. "That's that!" He crossed his arms triumphantly, and sat back to wait.
...Wait for what, you ask? Well that was quite obvious, silly one; for somebody to stir up some kind of trouble of course!
So he waited. ...But... nobody did stir up trouble. Silence filled the room as everyone else waited too... They waited... and waited... and waited... and waited...
They waited... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited...
They waited... and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited... and-
"AGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Zexion screamed shrilly and crumpled into a heap. His skinny, limp body fell to the floor dramatically.
Silence reigned as everyone stared at Number VI's body a moment.
"Phew, finally I can go," Lexaeus let out the breath he had been holding and studied his cards, chewing his lower lip a few times before saying, "this question is for Larxene:"
You see a hippopotamus get harpooned just a few feet from you. Hunters come out from the bushes with... marshmallow swords... Do you attempt to stop the hunters from... jumping on the creature...?
"Wait, what?" Lexaeus stared at card a moment.
"...Excuse me?" Larxene asked.
"Um... that's what the card says..." Lexaeus shrugged as he laid the card down to show it to all those at the table.
"Well who made up that ridiculous question?" Saïx asked.
"I think I might know why this game was in the back of the closet now..." Luxord mumbled.
"Hey, guys; look!" Roxas pointed at the card. "On that on the back of that card it says 'Special Insanity Edition'!" Number XIII's eyes widened at this revelation.
"Oh, so it does..." Lexaeus noted as he saw the writing too. "But strangely, it doesn't say that on the back my others..." He looked carefully over his others cards only to find that they were missing the logo.
"I guess we had two sets at one point, and then somebody mixed them," Axel attempted to explain the reason behind the strange logo. "That's probably what happened."
"Number VIII is most likely correct in his not-so-far-fetched projection." Xemnas nodded, pleased with his subordinate.
"But what shall we do about it?" Saïx asked. "I don't want to play if we have to use these stupid questions!"
"You sound like you're six!" Marluxia laughed.
"When are we having a meeting about that raise you requested again?"
"I'm sorry."
"Good."
"My fair Nobodies," Xemnas broke in, "please stop this argumentation and act like mature men! Let us-"
"Xion's a girl though!" Roxas objected. "She can't act like a man!"
"Well, maybe I could Roxas," Xion looked thoughtful. "Though I never tried to burp and scratch at the same time before..."
Pretty much all the others at the table glared dirtily at Xion; except for Larxene - who started guffawing merrily.
"Peace, XII!" Xemnas silenced her. "Now then, if Number XIV is done making those oh-so-funny wise-cracks, I believe we can move on to the-"
"Hey, now that I think about it, what about me?!" Larxene demanded. "I'm a girl too, you know Roxas!"
Roxas' eyes widened. "WHAT?!" He looked at Larxene bewilderedly.
Number XII's eyes narrowed. "Why you little punk-"
"HEY! SHUT UP!" Xemnas screeched at the top of his lungs. "THE GREAT XEMNAS WAS SPEAKING!"
"Oh, great!" Axel banged his head against the table. "Can we ever get through a game without setting him off on the third-person speak?!"
"What'd I miss...?" Zexion asked weakly as he crawled back into his chair.
Xemnas did a brief deep breathing exercise his Yoga instructor had taught him in order to calm his demeanor. He then began again, "If everyone could be so kind as to be but deathly quiet for a very short, short, thirty seconds, The Great Xemnas shall explain that he wants them to vote on wether or not he and his colleagues shall allow these 'Insanity Edition' cards should be counted as valid in the game. ALRIGHT?!"
"Alright, fine." Luxord raised his hand. "I vote that we should; it'll make this game all the more heart-stopping and blood-boiling!"
"...It's Scruples..." Saïx scoffed. "You make it sound as if we're the mafia; playing Russian Roulette."
"SHUT UP AND VOTE!" Xemnas yelled.
Demyx looked at Xemnas confusedly. "Wait, how can we vote if we have to shut-"
"You don't want to finish that sentence."
"Okay..."
"Look," Saïx attempted to get everyone's attention. "We should all just do as the Superior says and vote. Personally, I vote 'No.'
"I vote 'Yes'!" Axel nodded his and raised his hand.
"I vote 'No'." Larxene rolled her eyes. "And those of you who are voting yes are just proving how immature you really are!"
"...So you really are a girl...?" Roxas asked, leaning over in his chair and staring up at his colleague.
"I'M GONNA-"
"Larxene!" It did take Lexaeus, Xaldin, and Luxord to restrain her, but eventually Number XII was convinced that she could not conveniently murder Roxas.
At least not then, anyway...
"Look, may The Great Xemnas and his team of elite individuals just please vote on wether or not they should utilize the STINKING STUPID CARDS?!"
Just when everyone was about to start talking and arguing once again, the dessert bell rang out of the blue; calling them to come and consume the Marshmallow Choco Fudge Cake that during the afternoon, they had fawned over so lovingly. Obviously after hearing about this vulnerable little gift from Heaven, the entire subject of the vote was dropped, the group immediately made friends, and then racked their brains trying to remember where the kitchen was in their huge castle as they began seeking it. Their game, was all but forgotten; as after all, scruples are for losers anyway.
Not much happened after this, good reader, except that when the good group that was Organization XIII began to fumble through their castle, searching for the kitchen the held their much-sought Marshmallow Choco Fudge Cake, they stumbled into the castle basement. There they met a pink penguin name Choodo who told them that if they took the Magic Hula-Hoop and Cucumber of Darkness from the sleeping whale Tingle-Bub who lay at the edge of the world's biggest hot-tub, that they would be able to harness the power of the Martians of Tomato; thus gaining the ability to eat hamburger seeds without need for regurgitation. After doing this they used their power defeated the Wicked Lamp of Talldressa and freed the hillbillies of Dudea by singing The Impossible Dream with a barbershop cortequet. But this was all boring, boring, boring. No idea why you wanted to hear about this mundane adventure (if you could even call it an adventure,) anyway. Now, shoo! Off with you!
Author Note: Anyway, good? Bad? Rather hit yourself with a brick than read it again? Tell me your thoughts in a REVIEW!
