THE DREADED AUTHOR'S NOTE: GAHAHA! I DID IT! I DID IT! I got this thing done! Done! Done! Woot!
Erm... Anyway, it's somewhat long to compensate for the wait. Enjoy!
Always a Blockhead: Part-A-Two
In a world... filled with nothing but blocks - there lurks fourteen shadows, somewhat less ready for action than they were in the previous chapter...
And as everybody who read that last chapter knows, this translates to not very ready for action at all... Alright!
"Oh man!" Roxas moaned, clutching his stomach as he felt a tidal wave of guilt writhing about inside him, attempting to rend his conscience to pieces. "Oh man! Oh man! Oh man! Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh-"
"Man?" Xigbar finished for him.
"Yeah! Oh man Xigbar! I feel awful! Just awful! I mean, I thought he'd be home by now! I never even considered that he'd never figure out how to dismount from that pig! Where do you suppose it could have taken him?"
"Dude, I dunno," Number II admitted, "but remember that the pig dove down with Saïx into like, the water? They're probably down there!"
"If they were, Saïx would have drowned by now..."
"Oh yeah..."
Roxas and Xigbar were racing headlong across the grassy green plains that Organization XIII had built their dirty (yay, lame pun) home upon, searching here and searching there for Saïx, who still hadn't returned home after 'departing' with his porky kidnapper. The Nobody fellow seemed not to be anywhere. He wasn't up above any tree, nor down under any rock as far as Roxas and Xigbar could tell. (As can be seen, this was a very 'thorough' search.) Both of the Nobodies looking Saïx had heavy perspiration lacing their foreheads caused from an unpleasant mixture of sweat, fatigue, and worry concerning the missing Number VII.
"Where could he be?!" Roxas shouted in despair, falling dramatically to his knees. "Where could he have gone?!" Number XIII threw up his hands in a forsaken manner, bemoaning the seeming loss of his colleague.
"Dude, I really kinda dunno, but I still think we should look in the lake y'know..."
"Xigbar, I told you already, if Saïx and the pig were down in the bottom of the lake, they'd have drowned by now! There's no way that they could be down there!"
"Well, alright dude... If you're sure..."
"I'm positive; I may not be super-smart like Axel or Vexen, but I know that Saïx can't - and certainly a pig can't - live underwater!"
"Well... alright then man. Hey, how about we look on that hill over there?" Number II pointed off towards a very tall, snow-capped mountain over in the distance. "Maybe Saïx is like, up there?"
"Hmm... Uh, I guess it wouldn't hurt to look..." Roxas shrugged.
"So then...?"
"Yeah, let's go." And so Numbers XIII and II trotted off towards the new biome.
Meanwhile, quite predictably, a major contradiction to Roxas's statement about 'Saïxs (or is that Saïxi?) and pigs not being able to live underwater' was currently underway as Number VII and his rather rotund pink companion found themselves spilling down into some rather grim rock caverns that they had stumbled upon whilst flailing about in the pond that Roxas was sure that they were not even near - much less in. Fortunately, these caves were found by Saïx and the pig just a bit before Number VII was about to die by drowning - so that was all well and good.
The downside though was that they entered the caves via a waterfall. Though while the stream of down-pouring water was not very tall in of itself - being only about fifteen feet high at the point where it met the lake - the cave wall which it poured down was rather steep. In fact it was very steep; pretty much so steep that it was in no way, shape, or form, climbable at all. So there was an escape route gone.
This meant they needed to find another way.
Anyway, after the two who had been dished out into the cave had coughed and hacked the appropriate amount of water out of their respective sets of lungs, they decided (well, more like the pig decided, as Saïx's butt was still situated firmly and immovable on his back,) that they ought to explore their new surroundings, and possibly find a way out.
"Well?" Saïx demanded, slapping the side of the animal he was the hostage of, attempting to make the pig start making some progress in the department of escape. "Get a move on you stupid pig! Let's get out while we're still young enough to be glad about it!"
The pig seemed to get the message, and slowly began a mild meander across the stony floor to an intersection of four passages down a distance from the waterfall which they had entered through. Then the animal stopped short, and began to sniff around a rather large mushroom poking out of the ground beneath it.
"Food can wait you stupid idiot! Let's move it!" Saïx banged his heels into the side of the pig to try and urge it to get a move on.
The pig, consenting to its rider's wishes, went down a cavern that veered to the right - strangely enough it was the darkest of all the choices. (Stupid animal.) Saïx got the strangest sense of foreboding as a low, splashing noise began resounding from each step the pig took; it was stepping in puddles of water. It seemed that this passage that the creature had picked was going to lead up to some body of water.
"This may not be all bad..." Saïx muttered to himself, "perhaps the water's source is above ground..." So he urged the pig on, and sauntered off into the darkness.
Meanwhile, a few dozen blocks above Saïx and the pig (that sounds kind of like a band name...) a single British gentleman walked along a field of ice with his friend the Elephant-Man.
"That is NOT funny..." Xaldin stated sternly with his arms folded across his chest.
"Xaldin," Luxord began, scratching his head as he looked about him, trying to discern some recognizable landmark somewhere among all the ice. "Are you positive you saw a herd of sheep walking about HERE?"
"Of course I am!" Number III replied a bit indignantly, "I'm not in the habit of experiencing delusions!"
"I didn't say you were," Luxord assured him, "I'm just saying that it's really a bit odd for sheep to gather in a place where they can't feed..." Number X twirled the shears he had brought absently in his hands.
"Well I ASSURE you that they're here; just stick with me, and I guarantee that we will find them."
"Xaldin, how big was the herd?" Luxord asked.
Number III thought a moment. "Um... fairly large... Why?"
"Would you think it could be considered a landmark of any sort?"
"I suppose so..."
"Well then, if that does turn out to be the case, I think we ought to ask directions!"
Xaldin scoffed. "Ask directions? I don't need directions!"
"I beg to differ," Luxord replied curtly, gesturing toward the seemingly endless amounts of ice that encircled them.
"Oh please! I've seen bigger ice fields than this! Have you ever been to Atlantica in the winter time? I tell you the ice goes on and on for-"
"Xaldin," Luxord interrupted, "you're not changing my mind..."
"Alright, fine: let's say hypothetically we did need directions, just where do plan on getting them from?"
"I saw a village awhile back, I think we should go and ask around where this elusive herd of sheep is located."
"I doubt the village characters have such capabilities as to understand speech..."
"Well it's worth a try..."
"Look, I said it earlier, and I'll say it again: I don't NEED directions! I can find those sheep in my lonesome easily!"
"I think it's time you let the swelling out of your head Xaldin! Let's ask for directions!"
"We DON'T need it!"
"YES we do!"
"NO we don't!"
"YES we do!"
"NO we don't!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"HAHA!" Luxord jumped triumphantly into the air. "I win!"
"We don't need directions!" Xaldin stamped his foot in irritation.
"Xaldin, I'm really growing quite aggravated with you and your stupid prideful bravad- hm...?" suddenly, something caught the eye of Number X; a man whom he hadn't noticed before, standing a few yards away with his back to the two squabbling Nobodies.
He was a rather tall fellow, nearly two times taller than either Xaldin or Luxord. He was also perfectly still; moving not a muscle as he stood over the chilling ice, seemingly staring off into space. It was actually quite unnerving.
Regardless of this, Luxord quickly declared that he would go and ask the man if he knew of any herds of sheep anywhere about.
"I don't think that's wise Number X..." Xaldin warned. "He doesn't look very personable..."
"Rubbish!" Luxord scoffed. "He looks perfectly fine!"
"He's ten feet tall!"
"Don't discriminate against the fellow for his physical appearance! That's horrible!"
"ALL YOU PEOPLE DO TO ME IS DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ME FOR MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE?!"
Luxord ignored him. "Will you accompany me, Xaldin?" he asked cooly.
Number III sighed. "I sincerely doubt that he'll be any sort of help to us at all, but it seems clear you won't listen to me until your ridiculous theory fails you."
"So in other words..."
"Yes, I'm coming."
And so the two Nobodies stumbled over the ice toward the strange man. When they had approached him, Luxord cleared his throat and began, "Excuse me sir, but I was wondering if-" Just then, the man turned around at the sound of Number X's voice.
Though as probably is typical with the luck of Organization XIII, it turned out not to be a man at all.
"What the?!" Xaldin looked disgustedly and actually somewhat fearfully at the creature they had just asked to direct them. It was coal-black and dreadfully skinny, with arms that were nearly as long as its slender, bony body. It's face was square-shaped (go figure), and displayed a large mouth that contained razor sharp, glistening white teeth.
But none - not one - of these aspects are what made the monster so grotesque and creepy. (After all, the depiction of the creature just given a paragraph above could also easily apply to Axel - barring the black skin.) What was the real driving force behind the unnerving effect the thing had came from its eyes; its angry, glowing purple eyes. They were terrifying eyes to be sure, the eyes of a monster.
"Um... well, hello there... Mr... Thing... sir..." Luxord said somewhat nervously.
Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that it stood leering down at them, there was no motion on the part of the creature that Numbers III and X had disturbed to try and murder them, so Luxord and Xaldin let out a sigh of relief, feeling quite certain now that things would be just dandy now.
And that's when Xaldin made a REALLY stupid mistake.
Again holding his head up in the proud manner he was accustomed to, Xaldin looked the creature straight in the eye and said- well, he tried to say something... but let's just say things didn't go exactly as planned.
"RARRRRGHHHH!" The creature roared in fury as soon as Number had looked at him. It ripped two blocks of ice out of the ground beside it and began spinning them in the air, possibly getting them ready to throw at its new enemies.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?! Luxord screamed in horror.
"I didn't do a thing!" Xaldin screeched back, "he just went berserk all of a sudden!"
"RARRRRGH!" The creature tossed the ice it had been had holding at the two Nobodies, missing their persons only by a fraction.
"Luxord's teeth chattered as he and Number III both began to back away from the monster. "What do we do Xaldin?!"
"Fight it?"
"With what?! We can't summon our weapons!"
"Oh yes... I forgot..."
"RRRRGHHH!" the creature started stalking after them.
"Xaldin! Think of something!"
"Why do I have to be the one to brainstorm?! It was YOUR brilliant idea to ask for directions!"
"So it's your turn!"
"..."
"RAAARRRGH!"
"XALDIN!"
"ALRIGHT!" Number III began racking his brain for an idea on how to get out this very dangerous situation - then a thought struck him. "Luxord... has it occurred to you that we're two individuals?"
"Is this really the time for philosophy Xaldin?!"
"No no! I mean, against this miserable thing, it'd be two against one, right? I'm thinking that even without weapons, we might just be able to beat this creature working in tandem!"
"Are you sure about that Xaldin? It doesn't sound very likely..."
"Well, he's going to rush us anyway any moment now! Let's take the initiative!"
"Well... alright then... On three, okay? One... two..."
"THREE!" Both Nobodies yelled at once and charged at the monster. Both began smacking at the creature as hard as he could.
Well, until it disappeared that is.
"Where did it go?! Did we win?!" Xaldin asked bewilderedly as he looked rapidly from side to side, searching for the monster.
"Xaldin! Over there!" Luxord pointed a few blocks away where the creature reappeared. "I think it's angry! Look, it's shaking and writhing and- oh dear..."
"Hm?" Xaldin turned to where his colleague gestured. A few seconds later he found himself with his eye twitching as he watched two extra arms sprout out the sides of the monster.
"...M-Mother..." Number III whimpered.
"Aw darn it! I just realized I forgot to uninstall the Mutant Enderman Mod I put in my game!" Axel slapped his forehead, cursing himself for his forgetfulness. "I hope that doesn't start causing us any lag while we're playing here!"
"Nah," Zexion waved him off. "If it hasn't done anything to us yet, I really doubt it will - so don't worry about it. Besides, the only harm it's doing is making a few powerful versions of the Enderman. And everybody but idiots know that Endermen only become enraged if you make eye contact; and who's going to that without being prepared?"
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Luxord and Xaldin screamed like little young girls as they ran as fast as their leg could carry them over the ice fields; the Mutant Enderman was in hot pursuit of them.
"'Hey, let's take the initiative'!" Luxord mimicked mockingly as he ran, imitating Xaldin's little idea from before. "'He's going to rush us anyway!'"
"Alright alright! So it wasn't the greatest plan!" Xaldin admitted. "But as of now, we need to hide - and hide fast! My hunger meter is almost down to three, and then I won't be able to sprint any longer! So keep your eyes peeled for some sort of shelter against this beast!
"Don't worry I'm searching! But there seems to be nothing but ice for miles and miles and- aha!" Number X had found a series of stone pits among the ice - they would be perfect! "Xaldin! Over there!
"What is it?!" Xaldin looked over.
"In that pit right here! Hurry! He's right behind us! We'll cover it with this stone I have in my inventory!"
"I'm not jumping in that horrid pit! Look how deep it is! And there's probably snakes! And rats! And- AHHHH!"
"Right behind you, Xaldin!"
Luxord, tired of Xaldin's annoying garble, had pushed him down in the stone pit and jumped in after him. He set to work and quickly sealed the top with all the stone he had. Then finally, lighting up the makeshift bunker with a torch, he said: "There! That ought to do it!"
"I'm in pain..." Xaldin mumbled from the floor.
"That's good; pain builds character!"
"Oh yeah? Then come here, I'd like to build you some character!"
In a somewhat less hostile area, quite nearby spawn point, Marluxia was still baking bread; 'still' implying that he had already made twenty-seven loaves that morning, and didn't seem intent on stopping any time soon.
"My, what calm and happy sort of hobby baking bread is! I just love it! Sigh..." Number XI, with a dreamy smile, inhaled the warm, tasty scent of fresh baked bread as he pulled his twenty-eighth loaf out of the oven. "I should do this more often!"
A thoughtful look suddenly came over his face.
"And maybe in real life..."
Marluxia's serene, gentle, peaceful world of daisies and bread baking was suddenly greatly disturbed as the front door swung suddenly open. Following the door came a very ragged-looking Vexen, who stumbled miserably in to the house, tracking a perfectly horrid little path of filth behind him. He was obviously quite tired and irritable, that was easy for Marluxia to discern as Number IV limped along with a sack practically overflowing with... precious metals! slung over his dirt-stained back.
"I'm home..." Vexen growled as he tossed the sack containing the rare objects across the room, where the contents spilled out in a pile near the back wall. He then added in a malicious manner, "if you can call this stupid little mud hut you've carved a 'home'..."
Marluxia was too stunned at the huge amount of finery that had just poured over the wood floor of his house to form a retort to Vexen's belittling statement. He just sort of:
"Duuhhh... V-Vexen?"
"What...?" Number IV snapped as he slumped into a chair, and buried his face in his filthy hands.
"W-Where did you get all this... all this... stuff?!"
"What stuff?" Vexen asked, turning to face Number XI.
Marluxia gestured bewilderedly to the pile of emeralds, gold and diamond his colleague had brought back.
"Oh, that trash? I found it while in those vile caves." Number IV's face turned even more sour. "Well, that's only if you want to call those horrific, hellish mazes below the surface 'caves'! I spent hours trying down there trying to find my way back up! I tell you Number XI, if any one of these idiots whom the Superior refers to as my 'colleagues' ever asks me to mine anything ever again, I'm killing them right then and there!" Number IV made a stabbing motion with hand. He then turned his back to Marluxia, rose from his seat, grabbed one of the many loaves of bread lying on the windowsill cooling, and stormed out of the house.
Marluxia looked horrified at what Vexen had said about the precious metals he'd uncovered while below the surface. He was about to start gushing about what a horrible man Number IV was, when a rather ironic thought suddenly occurred to him:
"Wait, he's a scientist and he doesn't realize the value of these things?!"
In a somewhat darker location, that of the caves located far below the surface, a faint splashing noise echoed outside a long dark tunnel. If one were to pursue this noise and head down the aforementioned dark tunnel, they would eventually, after much walking, come out into a enormous cavern with a large, murky gray lake taking up nearly the whole of it. And if one were to scan the bank of this large, murky gray lake, they would find in the distance the figure of a man upon a steed, desperately fighting for his very Minecraft life against an onslaught of evil monsters. Doing battle against the villainous creatures known as...
"VILE SQUIDS! BACK! ...BACK! BACK I SAY!" Saïx's voice was filled with rage as he beat away his squishy blue assailants with a rock he held in hand. "I SAID, BACK!" Number VII smacked away one squid who particularly close to him. "HAH! YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME! STUPID CREATURES OF DARKNESS! HAVE AT THEE! DO YOU HAVE A BONE TO PICK?! THEN COME! I AM READY FOR YOU!" Number VII laughed haughtily and decided to mock his other opponents by daring them to approach.
Though this was undoubtedly a stupid thing for a handicapped fighter to do against a large party of enemies, Saïx had (dare I say it) valid reason to be somewhat proud of himself, as he was doing surprisingly well for someone who was so vastly outnumbered. Because to tell the truth, it was about thirty to two - squids favor. And the pig that Saïx was (coughunwillinglycough) riding into battle wasn't helping very much at all - he just sort of sat there and... oinked...
"DIE, EVIL SEA MONSTERS! GO BACK TO THE HELLHOLE OF WATER WHENCE YOU CAME!" Saïx mercilessly smacked and whacked and hacked at any squid that dared approach his steed and he, knocking it several feet back into the pools of water surrounding them. "HA! YOU THINK YOU CAN MATCH ME?!" Number VII kicked his heels into the sides of the pig he rode, and urged it into the midst of his foes. "ONWARD, PIG! FOR NARNIA, AND THE NORTH!"
"Aw darn it! I just realized I forgot to uninstall the Derpy Squids Mod I put in my game!" Axel slapped his forehead, cursing himself for his forgetfulness. "I hope that doesn't start causing us any lag while we're playing here!"
"Nah," Zexion waved him off. "If it hasn't done anything to us yet, I really doubt it will - so don't worry about it. Besides, the only harm it's doing is making squids hostile. And, come on, who's going to have a hard time fighting a squid?"
"GAH!" Saïx howled in pain as he and pig both were sent careening across the rocky caverns, tossed aside like rag dolls in the force an explosion caused by an enemy squid. "How could a mere squid... have so much power...?"
"Sqee!" Saïx's pig squealed in fear as a group of squids slithered up onto the shore of the cavern, intent on eating the poor fatty animal for their lunch.
It only just occurred to Saïx now that the explosion must have separated the pig and he from each other on impact - because there was his pig over there, not standing underfoot and dragging him about.
Now, contrary to popular belief, Saïx is not so completely black-hearted (that's a figure of speech, before you get all "He doesn't HAVE a heart!" on me,) that he would abandon a comrade who needed him, even in the heat of battle. So he nobly (well, as nobly as a Saïx could,) went to the aid of his pig.
"I'm coming, pig!" Number VII shouted as he jumped over the steeps cliffs and and slippery rocks of the cave to assist his companion. "Keep fighting! I'll be right there!"
"Sqee!" Saïx's pig was fully backed up against the cavern wall by this time, cornered by seven of the most evil-looking, slimy, terrible squids you've ever seen in your whole entire life.
The monsters were horrifying in every aspect of their being, down to even the simple way they maneuvered over to seize the life of Saix's pig. Their slimy tentacles, as they were dragged behind the filthy, blue-green bodies of the squids, bounced and flopped about in an unwieldy manner, their teeth were bared in frightening walls of yellow before their wide mouths, and the whole cavern itself, seemed to be filled with the horrendous breathing of the beasts.
"STOP!" Saïx jumped in front his pig just as the squids were about to stick out their hideous arms to grab it. Though instead of withdrawing their appendages, the monsters instead allowed their tentacles to grapple around the legs of Saïx. "AGH!" Number VII screamed as he was yanked forcibly to the ground and dragged across the rocks towards the menacing black water at the cavern's bottom. "PIG! HELP!"
"Sqee?" Saïx's pig oinked, cocking its head to the side confusedly, completely oblivious to the impending demise of his former master.
"PIG! SAVE ME PIG!" Saïx was halfway down the cave now, unable to break free of the steely grip the squids had on his two legs. "PIIGGGG!"
Saïx's pig, still unable to grasp with its oh-so-limited AI, the danger Number VII was in, snorted, turned, and walked off in a carefree manner into a branching cavern.
"NOOOO! YOU TRAITOR!" Saïx screamed after the animal as he was dragged into the black, murky depths by the squids.
In a somewhat stranger place, befitting the somewhat stranger person it contained, their was a much higher amount of evil laughter going on than in the previous location we studied. (Guess.)
"GAHAHAHA!" Xemnas (bingo) cackled maniacally as he threw himself onto his comfy bed of fruit, safely snuggled into the back of the tiny, mountain-side cave he'd taken refuge in, feeling good and ready for his regular night time practice of singing his own praises (nobody else would do it after all) in the loudest manner possible. "ALL THE APPLES ARE MINE! I, THE GREAT XEMNAS, NOW RULE THE WHOLE WORLD'S FRUIT MARKET! AHAHAHAHA! I AM THE ALL-POWERFUL RULER OF APPLES! NO FRUIT EXISTS THAT DOES NOT BEND TO MY GREAT WILL! I AM INVINCIBLE! I AM INEXORABLE! I AM AWESOME! GREAT! BRILLIANT! BEAUTIFUL! INTELLECTUALLY GIFTED! GRATIFIED! WONDERFUL-" The leader of Organization XIII continued on in this wind-bagged way of creating virtues he didn't actually have for about fifteen minutes before he was forced to pause in order to yawn. It was at this point that Xemnas realized he was feeling actually rather tired from his full day of shaving trees and gathering apples. He decided a snooze was in order.
After all, master villains need their beauty sleep too.
"Well... I did have quite the full day today... so I guess a small amount of sleep wouldn't hurt that much... Sigh..." Xemnas yawned again, and rubbed his eyes. "Good night, my fruitacious kingdom."
And so, Number I snuggled into his bed of fruit, and drifted off into dream land.
Little did he know, the horrors to befall him just a little later.
But since we're apparently so into switching points of view this time around, let us shift our gazes back to our initial protagonists of Roxas and Xigbar, who were currently searching and searching and searching the mountain biome they had scaled for their missing colleague Saïx. One had to admire the dedication of the two, getting so up in arms about the missing status of a man who was such a... such a... what's the word for it again...? Oh, yes:
A jerkwad.
"SAAAAAAAÏÏÏÏÏÏÏÏXXXX!" Roxas called over the hills, his voice echoed a long way off, about for what would have nearly a mile had it been 'real life'.
"YO! SAÏX DUDE! IT'S LIKE, TIME TO COME HOME NOW MAN!" Xigbar's voice also ricocheted over the canyons and mountains.
The two Nobodies stood sadly atop the precipice of the mountain they had climbed, watching the sun set over the hills with despair as they inwardly grieved over the missing status and possible death of their friend. (Well, 'friend' in their minds, not so much in Saïx's - but that's beside the point.)
"Sniff... Oh Xigbar!" Roxas cried, bursting into tears. "Xigbar! Why did we let him go?! Why did we let that pig snatch him away from us?! Why?! WHY?!" Number XIII threw himself on the ground, at first simply tearing up and whimpering. But then his whining and weeping began to intensify at quite a rapid pace, until he was screaming and bawling like he was a deranged monkey who had lost his banana.
"WAAHHHHH! SAÏX! SAÏX! SAÏÏÏÏÏÏÏXXXXX! WHY SAÏX?! WHY?! WHHHHHYYYYY?! GAHHHHHH!" Roxas cried miserably.
"Now come on Roxas dude, don't cry man!" Xigbar attempted to comfort his cohort, patting him on the head and trying his best to say encouraging things. "I'll bet however he died, I'm sure it wasn't THAT painful!"
Roxas paused a moment, thought about this, and then began weeping at an even louder volume.
Xigbar covered his ears to try and blot out the noise Number XIII was making. "I guess I'm not so good at this... Um..." Number II tried to think of some way he could ease Roxas's (and his own,) suffering without words, because he had pretty much proven just now that he was quite bad at that. "Uh..." A thought popped into his mind: what would he like for comfort when upset?
"Most definitely food, man!" he said aloud to himself. But then mused, "Well, one of those really fancy cigars that come in those boxes that are so gnarly to open actually... But then Disney hasn't let me smoke on one of those in a lonnngggg time! ...But I think since Roxas is like... a minor dude, food'd be better."
Well, that was it then! He'd bring Roxas something tasty to eat!
"After all, Roxas dude would hafta to shut up in order to eat!" Xigbar brightened up. He turned and called to his friend. "Alright, don't go anywhere Roxas dude - be right back!"
Roxas answered with another air-slicing screech.
"Uh... okay dude... Whatever you say..." Xigbar rushed off.
And unfortunately, did not look where he was going, slipped on a loose rock, and toppled over the side of the cliff.
"Woah! Woah! DUUUUDDDDDEEEE!" Number II screamed as he fell to his premature death.
Doodman150 fell from a high place
"I don't believe it!" Lexaeus sighed as he read the message informing him of the death of his colleague.
"Are you serious?" Axel shook his head in disappointment as he read the blurb also. "'Fell from a high place' probably means he was playing on the mountains without any armor! How stupid can Xigbar get?!"
"Quite a question..." Lexaeus muttered.
"'Doodman150'?" Zexion snorted as he studied the name he hadn't noticed earlier. "I'm thinking how lame can Xigbar get is quite the question! Talk about uninventive!" Both Axel and Lexaeus gave him a funny look.
"What...?" Zexion asked.
"XIGBAR'S uninventive?" Lexaeus asked, gesturing to Zexion's own nameplate of 'axelsux101'.
"Well he does..." Zexion stated weakly in his defense.
"He does not..." Axel disagreed, crossing his arms in an annoyed fashion. "And I think the name HE came up with of 'Fiablast' is just a bit better than 'axelsux101'."
"Regardless," Zexion retorted, pointing to Lexaeus name tag, "I believe that 'DeadEarth' is hands-down the lamest username a person could think of! I mean, using the word 'dead' in a username is so overused it's disgusting!"
Lexaeus was about to dispute when the group was approached by Number XIV, who was wearing a very strange black veil over her face.
"Speaking of the dead," Xion began in a sad and grave monotone, "would any of you like to attend the cow funeral being hosted yonder and pay your respects to the fallen creatures? I'm sure their spirits would appreciate it."
Lexaeus, Axel, and Zexion just stared at Number XIV a moment.
"You interrupted our argument for that?!" Zexion demanded bewilderedly. "Seriously?! You think we CARE about your stupid cow funeral?! I mean, are you so dumb and dense as to think that-"
Lexaeus and Axel suddenly brushed past Zexion, and graciously accepted the invitation Xion had offered them.
"Yes... of course we'll go and pay our respects to those poor cows!" Lexaeus dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief. "Won't we Axel?"
Axel had begun to tear up himself, so touched at the idea of a funeral.
...For computer-generated cows...
"Of course I will Xion! I wouldn't miss it!"
And so the three walked off together, leaving Zexion by himself in the fields with all the wood he and Axel had been collecting before their argument had started up.
"...As soon as we're done here, I am committing ALL of you..."
THE SECOND DREADED AUTHOR'S NOTE: As you can possibly see, I've thrown a handful of Minecraft memes in for kicks (more on that next chapter). But don't worry, I'm not gonna bore you with this for too long; next chapter is the last Minecraft survival - then we move on to new stuffs!
Wow... I just realized that this is the first chapter in this series to not have an overwhelming plethora of Xemnas antics... I'll make up for that next time!
