Author's Notes:First off, I'd like to give a big shout-out to Valinsy and rholou following this fic, it means so much to me! Here is the new chapter, filled with lots of angst, and my set up for why Blaine would do something so seemingly out of character in season 4. I have modified some of the lyrics for the song in this chapter, and I mean it with no disrespect to the writers/band, I just felt like making it fit Blaine a little more. Also, a big fuzzy thank you to anyone else who reads this, I love you all. If you want to leave a review I would be more than honored to read it, I want to know if you have any input, or just want to give me constructive criticism on my narrative style or horrible grammar. lol Again thanks, and I hope you enjoy the story.


Chapter 2: Father of Mine

"WHO ARE YOU?" The glee club gathered into the choir room to see those words sprawled across the dry erase board. As all quieted down Mr. Schue addressed the class and said, "alright, to start this year's assignments, I want each of you to think long and hard about that question. High school is a precious time in your life, you're no longer kids, and you're deciding who you are and how that fits into the rest of the world. So this week I want each of you to think about the answer to that question and choose a song from the year you were born to describe that to the rest of us."

The bell rings and the students leave the room, Finn who had been present looks dejectedly at the floor realizing he has nowhere to go, and no idea of what he wants. Mr. Schue walks over to him and says, "Finn, I think you should do this week's assignment too. Who knows, maybe it will help you realize where you want to go, or who you want to be." Finn smiles and says, "thanks Mr. Schue. That's a great idea."


Blaine and Rina walk out of the morning's glee club meeting together, Blaine talking about who he is, and who he wants to be. "You know it's funny," he said to Rina, "but when you think about it, we all have moments when we decide who we are." Rina looked at Blaine confused and says, "what do you mean?" "Well I think there are pivotal moments in our lives when we figure it out, you know that kind of define us." Rina nodded knowingly, she got to her locker and as she opened she asked, "so what would be your moment?" "I guess it'd be the night I came out to my parents" he said to her quietly. She nodded absent mindedly, being hurled into a flashback of the night of Sadie Hawkins, the night that had defined her.


Rina was at Blaine's house, getting ready for the Sadie Hawkins dance. It was a cool November evening, the wind rustled in the leaves outside sending some dancing through the air before gently falling to the ground. They were playing their favorite radio station and trying on different outfits. Rina finally decided on a deep blue dress that looked like it belonged in the 1960's, and Blaine wore a tan suit with a matching blue bowtie. As Rina tied it for him she said, "You know Connor's your date, you should be matching him, not me." Blaine smiled and said, "that's not what my dad thinks." Rina frowned and said, "Blaine, I thought you told your parents that you're gay!" He sighed and said, "I did, but it's still complicated, my dad is still trying to convince me that I need therapy, and my mom just can't seem to pick which side she's on. When I said we were going to the dance my dad actually agreed to let me go because of you. Come on, baby steps Ri." Rina looked into Blaine's eyes and saw such profound sadness that she couldn't deny Blaine. She went back to fixing his bowtie and said, "just so you know, I'm breaking up with you after the dance. I don't do long distance relationships." She chuckled after her statement and Blaine hugged her tight, "thank you Ri. I don't know how I'm going to survive Westerville High without you." After breaking their embrace Rina looked Blaine straight in the eye and said, "I know exactly how you will. With courage."


"So who is Rina Hendrix?" Blaine asked his friend as they walked away from their lockers. She looked at Blaine and couldn't seem to come up with an answer. Many words came into her mind; fraud, failure, coward, loser. Blaine sensed her sadness and said, "is something bothering you?" She smiled and said, "it's just, when I think about the answer, I don't like it." Blaine looked her in the eye and said, "it's never too late to change the answer." She smiled back and said, "I was hoping you thought so." Blaine smiled at her and said, "but for what it's worth, I don't think you need to." Rina smiled at Blaine and thought to herself, if only you really knew me.


At lunch time Blaine and Rina sat with the rest of the Glee club, along with Finn who had been hanging out with Mr. Schue until then. Jake Puckerman was expressing his dissatisfaction with the assignment as Kitty was talking over him about the amazingly sexy Aaliya song she would be singing, but Marley seemed not to notice this as she was making googly eyes at Jake, all while not noticing Ryder was making them at her. Sam and Artie were trading celebrity impressions, Brittany was attempting and failing to establish a Skype chat with Lord Tubbington, and Joe was explaining the pitfalls of materialism to Sugar and Unique who ignored him while peering at the pages of Vogue. Blaine and Tina were talking about the assignment while Finn and Rina tried as best they could to be interested.

Finally Finn said to Rina, "what song will you be singing?" Once again Rina was forced to think about something that she hadn't wanted to give any thought to; who she was. She sat quietly for a moment and then said, "I don't think I can really sing about who I am." Finn looked at her with surprise and said, " why not?" Rina shrugged and said, "I came here to get away from myself. From the person I became after I . . ." her voice quivered at her last words. Finn looked at her with concern but suddenly Blaine said to Rina, "hey, do you remember that band we used to like, they had a song about this deadbeat dad, who was that?" Rina immediately put on a happy face and said, "oh, that was Everclear." "Oh yeah! That's it!" Blaine exclaimed. Rina then began talking to him and Tina, leaving Finn to wonder just what she meant by getting away from herself.


That night after dinner Mr. Anderson asked Blaine met in his study. Blaine was surprised by his father's request, they rarely talked, and it was usually in the company of his mother or brother Cooper, and about nothing even remotely personal. Naturally then Blaine had reason to worry, would this be the night his father disowned him as he had threatened to the night Blaine came out? He wasn't sure where this conversation would go, but he could only be certain that it would not be easy.

Chandler Anderson was a formidable man. He had a stern yet handsome face. After reading 'The Picture of Dorian Grey' Blaine was convinced his father was a modern day Dorian, hiding a portrait in his study that aged and disfigured while his father remained as handsome as the day he married Beverly. Mr. Anderson ushered Blaine in, closing the door and locking it behind them. The sound of the lock made Blaine jump, and his skin turned cold at his father's words, "sit down son. We need to talk." Blaine composed himself as he sat down across from his father, a cold wooden desk separating the two. "I wanted to talk to you about your future, your plans for college" said Mr. Anderson. Blaine tensed at those words, he knew his father had plenty of money to send him to whatever school he wanted, but would he support his son going to NYADA or some other performing arts school? Blaine steadied himself and said, "I want to go to NYADA. I'm going to apply to a few other schools in New York as well, but whatever I do, and where ever I am it will be in New York, with Kurt."

Mr. Anderson's eyes narrowed as he looked at his son, this was the last straw. He had allowed Blaine to chase these wild dreams, had watched his older son become a joke amongst his inner circle for chasing after an impossibility; and even if Blaine had the talent, even though he believe Blaine had what it took, the spark that Cooper lacked, he couldn't let his family name become a joke to those he knew. Mr. Anderson rubbed his temples and said to Blaine, "I made a mistake letting Cooper go off and chase those silly dreams, I can't let you do that too. You have to be sensible Blaine, you have to think about what will give you a good future, what will help you support yourself." Blaine knew what his father meant, and he wasn't talking about being financially secure.

Finally Blaine said, "a good future dad, or a straight one?" Mr. Anderson slammed his fists on the desk top, "damn it Blaine!" Blaine jumped at the loud impact but remained firm, he knew what he wanted, he knew who he wanted to be, and it was the polar opposite of the man that sat across the room from him.

"I can't be who you want me to be," Blaine pleaded to his father, "I will work as hard as I can, I'll take out student loans if I have to, but I am not going to give up on my dreams to please you. I have tried as best I can to make you see that I'm not like Cooper, I'm not going to just strike out on my own thinking I already know everything. I want to get an education and be the best I can be. I know I have it in me dad. But you won't see that, because I'm gay. And you know what, I don't need you, or your money. I am going to leave this house and I am going to be the best man I can be, I am going to love Kurt with everything I have and treat him better than you ever treated mom, do you know why? Because I had the worst example set before me. And I hope to never be like you!"

At those words something inside of Chandler Anderson broke, his entire life had been shattered at the words of his son. He had always known that he and Blaine hadn't gotten along, his unwillingness to support his son's love had worn Blaine thin, but he never foresaw it coming to this. He would never be able to show Blaine the immense hurt he felt, he had too much pride for that. So after a few seconds Mr. Anderson said, "if that's how you feel son, I guess we have nothing further to discuss." Blaine got up and walked out of the study, slamming the door behind him.

After Blaine left Mr. Anderson opened a small drawer to his desk and pulled out a key to a locked file cabinet. In the cabinet was a file with a date on it, November 28, 2009. In the file was the police report filed on the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance, along with photos of the wounds inflicted upon Blaine, Connor, and Rina. Blaine's wounds were the worst; he had suffered a broken leg, five broken ribs, two black eyes, a concussion, and a collapsed lung. It would take three days for Blaine to wake from his coma, the worst three days of Mr. Anderson's life. It was during that time that he vowed he would never let this happen to his son again, and the only way he knew would be to convince Blaine he wasn't gay. Ultimately Mr. Anderson, although initially shocked by his son's revelation, was growing accustomed to the idea his son was gay. He had been planning to tell him so after the Sadie Hawkins dance. He knew with his son's understanding and patience, he could come to accept the person Blaine knew he was. But seeing him so helpless, so broken, so lifeless in that hospital room had left Mr. Anderson with no choice. He only knew one way to make the world stop hurting his son, and that was to make his son like the rest of the world. But by doing so, he would only be hurting Blaine in a way he had never anticipated.


Blaine ran up the stairs to the guest room Rina was staying in, his eyes filled with tears and he ran in, not caring to knock or make sure she was ready to receive him. Rina was lying on her bed talking to her sister Melody when she saw Blaine suddenly enter the room. Blaine stood looking at her with tears in her eyes and he heard her say, "Mel, I gotta go, but I'll be home when you tell mom and dad. Love you." Rina hung up her phone and ran to Blaine who collapsed to the floor in his best friends arms saying, "I can't do this anymore. Why won't he just love me?" Rina didn't have to ask who Blaine was referring to, she already knew he must have had a rough conversation with his father. She picked him up and brought him to her bed, he lied down with his head on her lap crying out his frustration and sadness. She gently stroked his hair and said, "Blaine, I'm so sorry." He cried for a while, letting his worries fall from his face, but finally he registered the irony of the moment and sat up to face her.

"You know, I should be mad at you too, in fact I am mad at you," he said to her angrily. Rina knew he was justified, she knew Blaine had a lot of reasons to be angry with her, so she decided to let him go, she wanted to finally take the punishment she so rightly deserved. "You're just like me father, you haven't been there for me when I needed you most. I thought you would stay with me after Sadie Hawkins, I asked you to. What kind of a best friend just leaves you behind after something like that? And Connor too, he was such a good friend to you too! I mean he always knew you were jealous of him but he didn't let it bother him, he was always so nice to you."

Rina felt herself well with rage now. She had known that when Blaine finally let himself go, when he told her how he really felt that it would hurt like nothing else, but she soon realized that this was more than she bargained for. However she tried as best as she could to remain calm and asked, "what do you mean Connor knew I was jealous?"

Blaine sniggered under his breath at her words and said, "Connor knew you were in love with me, but he let that go. It was pretty funny actually, he called you my hag." With Blaine's words she felt her own eyes well with tears. It was true, she had secretly loved him despite knowing he was gay, but she had never known that even back then he would be that cruel, seemingly using her feelings for him against her.

"So that's what I am to you then?" she shouted. "I'm just the pathetic hag you allowed to be in your presence. No wonder you expected me to stay, you were counting on the fact that I was just this lovesick puppy dog who would stay with you no matter what. But you should have known better, I had the chance to leave this stupid town behind, to leave all you losers behind and become something great. Well now I am someone great, and I'm going to be famous, and I am more talented that you'll ever be. I'm not the jealous one Blaine. YOU ARE!" As soon as she released the words from her mouth Rina wanted to take them all back, but she couldn't. They were out, and their damage was done.

"Get the hell out of my house," Blaine said to her. "By the end of the week I want you gone, and I never want to see you again. Ever." He turned to walk out of her room and she said to him, "I hope you don't plan on working on Broadway then, because you'll never be in a show of mine." He ran from her room and into his, throwing himself on his bed, crying out of shame and regret. He knew he hadn't meant what he said to Rina and he wanted Kurt back. He called his boyfriend, but he didn't pick up. Instead of leaving a voicemail he hung up and cried himself to sleep, wondering who he was, because the person he had been just now, the one who yelled at his best friend and father, that wasn't who he wanted to be at all.


The next morning Blaine awoke early and left for school before Rina was finished getting ready. Whenever he needed to clear his head he would go to the auditorium and think. Something about the emptiness of a blank stage helped him to picture his own mind bare, open, and ready to be filled with new thoughts. But when he got there his words to his father and best friend haunted him, and he needed to do the only thing he could to exercise the demons, sing.

When Rina realized Blaine had left her behind the next morning she felt as though she had really damaged their relationship irreparably. She went to McKinley going on a hunch and get feeling, silently hoping that she would be right about one thing, about where Blaine would be that morning.


Rina walked into the auditorium to see Blaine standing on the stage alone except for the glee club band. They started playing and immediately she knew what song he would be singing. She pulled out her iPhone to record his performance. If there was one thing she could do right, she knew it was this.

Blaine stood on the stage, tears in his eyes, ready to give it all away, ready to leave it all behind in that room, wishing his father could hear the words meant for him.

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me back to the day
Yeah when I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away

I remember blue skies
Walking the block
I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk
You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach
You would take me to a place inside
That's so hard to reach

Oh

Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
Yeah you had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know
Father of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life
And you don't see me

I was ten years old
Doing all that I could
It wasn't easy for me
To be a scared gay boy
In a straight neighborhood
Sometimes you would send me a birthday card
With a five dollar bill
I never understood you then
And I guess I never will

Daddy gave me a name
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Oh yeah
Oh yeah

Daddy gave me a name
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Yeah
Yeah
Oh yeah

Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
Yea I just closed my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
With the son that you've forgotten
And the scars I saw you leave

I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now that I'm a grown man
With a life of my own
And I swear I'll never let it show
All the pain I have known

Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My daddy gave me a name

Then he walked away (yeah)
Then he walked away (yeah)
Then he walked away (oh yeah)

As Blaine finished the song he sat on the floor sobbing, wishing his father would know and understand his pain, wishing his best friend was there to hold him, wishing that his boyfriend was there to love him. But no one was, he was alone, and he suddenly realized that's what defined him and made him who he was; his abject fear of being alone.


Rina walked out of the auditorium crying, she knew her friend needed her, but so did her family, and she had to leave, at least for a little while, after all that's what Blaine had said he wanted. But she would be back, she would return, and she hoped that in the meantime she could set right something that had gone wrong. She sent a text message to Mr. Anderson with the video of Blaine's performance and wrote the words, I want you to see your son Mr. Anderson, I want you to know how he really feels, that he loves you more than you know. –Rina

After she sent the text message she walked out to the parking lot where a taxi was waiting for her. She got in a said to the driver, "airport please". On her way there she silently prayed, help me make this right, hoping that the letter she left for Blaine and the video she sent to his father would give her a way to come back.