Author's Notes: Hello readers! Thank you so much for tuning in for another chapter and a super big thank you to Alex B Good for leaving a review! I'm sorry this one took so long to write, but it was a rather emotional chapter and also a pivotal point in the story, so I wanted to make sure I got it right. As always thanks for reading, and if you have suggestions, please drop me a line!


Don't Look Back in Anger

Blaine went to glee club that morning and saw that Rina wasn't there. By third period English class she was still nowhere to be found, and at lunch he couldn't find her in the cafeteria. He knew he had been hard on her, he knew his words must have hurt her. But that didn't justify her leaving he thought, what about the song? What about never having to forgive her again? What about not giving up? It was all a waste he thought, and I can never trust her again. He picked up his phone and dialed Kurt's number, after several rings Kurt finally answered, "Blaine, I'm working can we talk later!" Blaine was hurt by the rushed and scolding tone in Kurt's voice but he pressed on and said, "Rina left, we got in a fight last night and she left!"

Kurt let out a sigh on the other end of the line and said, "well I can't say I didn't see this coming. You know how she is Blaine, you said so yourself that she's a drifter. Did you really think that this time would be different?" Blaine began to get frustrated, he could tell Kurt's mind was elsewhere, and he was looking for sympathy, compassion, empathy, anything that could make the two of them feel connected and not hundreds of miles away.

Blaine continued his story, "it's not just her, my dad and I got in this fight last night too and then I snapped at her." As he was talking he could hear someone saying something to Kurt on the other end of the phone and then Kurt said, "Blaine I have to go, there's a crisis in the wardrobe department." Before he could even say goodbye Kurt had hung up the phone, leaving Blaine feeling as though there was absolutely no one on his side, that his worst fears had finally come true. He was alone and no one cared. As he felt himself grow more and more despondent he got a text message from an old friend, more like a ghost from his past. The text said; hey Blaine, I know we haven't seen each other since Sadie Hawkins, but I can't stop thinking about you lately. Could you meet me after school some time? - Connor

Blaine smiled at the message, but he was also afraid. He hadn't seen Connor in three years, after the night of "the beating" Connor had literally disappeared. He had left the hospital long before Blaine and never set foot in Westerville High again, after vain attempts to track him down Blaine simply gave up hope of ever finding his friend again, and with him he took a piece of Blaine, his first heartbreak.


In glee rehearsal that afternoon Mr. Schue noticed Rina was missing so he asked Blaine, "is Rina okay?" Blaine shrugged his shoulders and said, "how should I know?" Mr. Schue frowned at Blaine's uncharacteristically gristly tone and said, "is everything alright Blaine?" Blaine glowered at Mr. Schue and said, "what do you care?" When Finn heard him he stepped in and said, "dude, what's up, this isn't like you." Blaine laughed at him and said, "how would you know? What do you, or any of you know about me? I'm out of here!" Sam got out of his seat to stop Blaine grabbing his arm but Blaine shoved him forcefully aside and said, "not today Sam." Sam let Blaine go and everyone in glee club was left to wonder just what was wrong with the boy and where his best friend was. As Blaine walked out of the school he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. After three rings a young man answered, "Blaine?" Blaine smiled and said, "I need to see you, now. Can you meet me?"


Finn wasn't one to be worried about anyone, but after being away from Rachel Berry and suffering a terrible breakup he had slowly changed, he had grown more sensitive to the feelings of others; which is why it disturbed him to see Blaine so brooding and unhappy. He wasn't one to snoop, but when Mr. Schue left him alone in his office he couldn't resist the opportunity to get to the bottom of why Blaine was so moody and why Rina had been absent from school that day. He looked through the personal files and found Rina's phone number; he knew Blaine wouldn't open up to him, so Rina was his only shot. He put her number in his phone and walked out of Mr. Schue's office, waiting for an opportune moment to call her and find out what was happening to Blaine.


Connor Levitt was one year older than Blaine Anderson, he had graduated from high school with average grades, was attending college in Ohio, and had never quite lived up to the big dreams he had once entertained. Blaine agreed to meet him that afternoon at his apartment, but once there he couldn't bring himself to go up the stairs and see Connor. He had once more tried to call Kurt but only gotten his voicemail. He waited for a text from Rina, a sign from heaven, anything that would convince him not to see Connor, but nothing came. Finally, feeling more disappointed than ever before he turned off his phone and threw it in his glove box.

What a funny name he thought, I've never put gloves in there, it should be called a map box, or the owner's manual compartment. As he thought this he heard a knock on the window to his car and there was Connor. He looked different from how Blaine remembered him; his green eyes were dull and sad. His jet black hair contrasted with his pale skin, it didn't glisten in the sunlight like Kurt's it was flat and limp on his skinny frame. Blaine smiled nonetheless at his friend and opened his car door. Connor smiled back at him and said, "I was beginning to think you weren't going to get out of the car." Blaine got out and slammed his car door shut; he locked the car, put his keys in his pocket and said, "it's so good to see you Connor."


Finn wasn't sure that calling Rina was a good idea but he had run out of options. He had tried calling Blaine but his phone was off. When he called Kurt he got an angry voice that said, "I can't talk now Finn and Rachel's fine bye." It had been a long time since Finn had felt awkward calling a girl, but this wasn't just any girl. She was different, which is why he wanted to get to know her, but also why she scared him. When he had finally worked up enough courage to call her he dialed the number, shaking slightly as the phone rang. After only two rings a worried voice answered, "hello, Blaine?" Finn stammered, "uh no, this is Finn. Finn Hudson, Blaine's friend." Just as he finished speaking she quickly said, "is he alright?" Finn exhaled deeply and said, "that's what I want to know." Rina held back her tears and said, "how do I explain?"


It had been six hours since Mr. Anderson had gotten Rina's text message, and he didn't know what to do. He could see just how broken his son was, he could sense Rina's profound concern for her friend, but he couldn't seem to fit himself into the puzzle. Even if he tried to apologize to Blaine, even if he explained his irrational reasoning behind his behavior, would it be enough to mend the broken bond with his son? There was only one way to find out, and Chandler Anderson resolved that he would try; somehow, he would make it right.


Blaine and Connor talked mostly of insignificant things at first, both afraid of what talking about Sadie Hawkins would do. Finally it was Connor that broke the ice, "so how is Rina?" he asked. Blaine chuckled slightly and said, "she's not really in my life anymore." Connor shook his head, "that's too bad, I guess Sadie Hawkins messed us all up." Blaine looked at Connor quizzically, "what do you mean by that?" Connor shrugged and said, "oh you know, she didn't get beat up as badly as we did, but she must still have traumatic memories. I mean it couldn't have been easy for her to find us lying there." Blaine's eyes widened at Connor's words and he said, "what do you mean she found us?"

Connor looked at Blaine with worry, he had always known that Blaine wasn't strong, that of all of them he would pay the highest price, but he had never known that he might not know all of the details of that night. "She came looking for us," he said, "she came outside to give me my scarf that I had left at the table. When she came outside she saw those guys beating the living crap out of us. She screamed for help but not before they got a hold of her and gave her a black eye and some bruised ribs." Blaine began to feel even more regret at his actions towards her; he suddenly realized that there must have been a lot that he didn't know about that night. Feeling weary he looked at Connor and said, "tell me all you know about that night."


For some inexplicable reason Rina Hendrix felt safe with Finn Hudson, even if he was hundreds of miles away on the other end of a telephone. There was something charming and warm about his voice, and his concern for Blaine endeared him to her. Rina's head was swimming wildly with worry for Blaine and concern for her own family. She had gone back to Chicago to support her sister Melody who was pregnant and divorcing her cheating husband. But all of this paled in comparison to the gigantic mess she had made with Blaine. She began to tell Finn what had happened with Blaine and his father, between the two of them, and the growing concern that she had truly pushed him to the limit of their friendship. Finn listened to the girl intently, several times she had stopped to sob, only to bring herself back into composure and carry on with her story. Finally when she was finished Finn asked her, "does Blaine know about that night? What you went through?" Rina let her head fall and said to Finn, "if I told him, he'd know that I didn't do everything I could to protect him." Finn didn't know how to comfort her beyond that point. She was truly in a territory he had never been in, one that he wasn't sure how to come back from.


Connor obliged Blaine's request but not before saying, "if you want me to tell you, we're both going to need a drink." After pouring two glasses of whiskey Connor took a sip and said, "when you and I left the dance she realized I had left my scarf behind. What a funny girl she was, running after me for a scarf; but I've often wondered what would have happened if she hadn't. She saved us Blaine." Blaine's heart began to grow heavier and heavier, he had no idea that she had been the one to save them. He knew she had run outside, but the version she had told him had conveniently left that detail out. He drank down the whiskey Connor had poured and then stuck it out for more. Connor obliged and then continued.

"When she came out she found us. The police never told me what exactly happened when the guys who were beating us got to her, and all I can remember is hearing her scream before I blacked out. The next morning I asked my mom to call her, I wanted to make sure she was alright. When she came to see me she had makeup on, but that didn't hide the shiner they left on her pretty face." Blaine could only imagine what she must have looked like, by the time he had woken up her bruise had faded, and she explained it away by saying she had fallen and hit her head on the curb trying to get to them. He never thought that she was lying, that there was much more to her story than she had let on. Blaine had been so focused on his own worries, his own need for comfort in the absence of his father and mother that he never stopped to think that the events of that night had changed her as deeply as him.

Connor took another drink and continued, "she told me that once the guys got her they stopped hurting us and ganged up on her, when she wouldn't stop screaming they smacked her around a bit, but then the teachers came and the guys ran. Someone dialed 911, I remember coming to for just a second, Mr. Abrams was standing over me, and she was with you, just pleading with you to wake up. I blacked out again, and she wouldn't tell me anything more."

Blaine finally couldn't stand it anymore, he began to sob uncontrollably, and Connor wrapped him up in a hug. As Blaine's tears finally started to dry Connor turned to him and said, "I'm sorry that I abandoned you, I shouldn't have just disappeared on you, I was older, I should have known better. I knew that Rina was leaving and that your parents were jerks, but I just ran. I'm so sorry Blaine." Blaine looked at Connor and said, "just shut up." Suddenly Blaine's body was thrown onto Connor's and the next few moments were a blur. Blaine's conscience had been wiped away with alcohol, and with only his emotions to guide him he started down a path he had never before imagined he would go.


Saturday morning Mr. Anderson contemplated calling the police. His son hadn't come home on Friday night and he wasn't answering his phone. Although he didn't really think Blaine would stay out all night, he was beginning to realize that his son was far more unpredictable since Rina had stayed with them. He felt as though something must have happened between them as well as his conversation with Blaine, so instead of calling the police he called Rina. Before he realized it was six am Rina answered her phone presumably from a dead sleep, "hello" she grumbled sleepily. "Rina, I'm sorry I woke you, this is Mr. Anderson." Rina sat up with a start in her bed and said, "oh no, is Blaine alright? Please tell me he's okay," she pleaded. Mr. Anderson felt for the girl but he said, "Blaine didn't come home last night, I don't know what to do." Rina sighed heavily and said, "if he's not home by this afternoon, call the police. He might have needed time to clear his head. I wouldn't worry just yet Mr. Anderson, Blaine is trying to process a lot right now." Chandler Anderson felt relieved at Rina's words, if she thought Blaine would need time, surely it wasn't out of character for him to do this. Then he asked, "did you two get in a fight before you left?" Rina couldn't lie to Mr. Anderson, and if she were more alert she would have been startled at the sudden interest he was showing in his son, finally she said, "yes, and I'm not sure I can come back." Mr. Anderson cleared his throat, making sure his voice was strong and clear for his next words, "you have to come back Rina. I need your help, Blaine needs your help. I'm afraid for my son, and I think he needs to know the truth about that night, the whole truth. Your truth." Rina felt her energy sapped at his words and said, "I don't think he'll forgive me Mr. Anderson." Chandler was pained at her words but said, "if we work together, I think he'll forgive both of us."


Blaine woke up to a surprisingly sunny Saturday morning, it was late September, and usually it was grey and cloudy by then. At first he felt a little foggy about where he was and what had happened the night before, but as he sat up on the edge of the bed he suddenly realized where he was and his stomach felt like it had crashed to the floor. Connor was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and then her heard a loud thud come from his bedroom. He ran over and saw Blaine sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, as if he had just murdered someone. Connor tried to soothe him saying, "Blaine was that your first time last night? I'm so sorry! I didn't even think to check and make sure you wanted this, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Blaine looked up at Connor, his face red with tears staining his cheeks, "I have a boyfriend Connor. He lives in New York. I just cheated on my boyfriend!" Connor backed away from Blaine as if somehow that would absolve him of the guilt he shared in that sin, but even he couldn't run away from it. "Why didn't you tell me that!" Connor shouted at Blaine. "I am not the kind of guy to do something like that, what were you thinking?" Blaine looked at him with deep regret and said, "I was mad at Kurt because he kept pushing me aside, he kept making me feel as if I wasn't important. And Rina left me, and my father's disowning me, i came here and you were here and I needed someone, and it just felt right, and I don't know. I've screwed up Connor, I want Rina back, how can I get her back? And Kurt, he's never going to forgive me, and . . . I . . . I just want my dad!" with his last words Blaine broke into another fit of uncontrollable sobbing, and Connor sat beside him saying, "we'll figure this out kid. One step at a time."


After much more convincing Rina agreed to go back to Ohio, and Mr. Anderson bought her a plane ticket. After getting off the phone with him she was surprised to see her mother standing in her doorway with mail. "This just came," her mother said. Her mom gave her an envelope with a return address to Julliard, and inside was an invitation to audition for whichever program she chose. Although it was simply an audition it felt like a bright spot in a rather dark period in her life, and she was sad that she couldn't share it with the one person she wanted to, Blaine. She smiled slightly and said to her mother, "this moment should feel better you know. I should be more excited, I should be sharing this with . . ." somehow she couldn't finish. Her mother smiled at her and said, "call him, you two can work it out. After all you saved his life." Her mother kissed her forehead and then walked out of the room. As her mother left she thought to herself, if only he knew the truth.


Finally Blaine stopped crying enough to talk with Connor, he told him all about his broken relationship with his father, his life at Dalton, his love for Kurt, and now his intense regret at his words to Rina. Finally when Blaine had no words left to say Connor spoke, "there's a lot for you to deal with, and you have to tackle each issue one at a time. Right now, more than anything you need a friend to stand by you. You need her, and she needs you. I could see it from the moment we met Blaine, if you were ever going to love girls, she would be the only one. That's why it hurt you when she left, because deep down inside you love her, and even deeper down, you wish you could love her."

Blaine looked at Connor and knew he was right, he knew that no matter what happened between them he was always going to need Rina. That's why he had asked her to stay, and why he was so broken when she left. His facade had finally given way, and now he was that same bleeding pathetic figure that he had fought so hard to leave behind in the Westerville High School parking lot. But now he had hope, now he knew that someone was there, someone had been there to protect him, and she had possibly sacrificed more than he would have ever guessed. But would she come back this time? Would she be true to her word and make up for her past mistakes? Or was it time for him to atone for all the ones he had made, starting with her? Whatever move he made, whatever steps he took he knew it had to start with her; and hope that together they could correct all he had done wrong.

Blaine looked at Connor and said, "I need to go home." He got up, put on his coat, and said, "Goodbye Connor." The boy looked back at Blaine, this time glowing, no doubt from a feeling of closure and said, "Goodbye Blaine."

Blaine got into his car and opened the glove box getting his phone out. He turned it on and noticed three rather remarkable things, (1) Kurt hadn't called him back, (2) Rina texted him three words, read the letter, and (3) there were 15 missed calls from his father's cell phone. He noticed there was a voicemail and so he listened to it.

Blaine, son, I don't know where you are tonight, and I don't know if you're alright. I know we fought, and I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I still care about you. I still worry, I love you very much. Please come home.

Blaine's emotions were worn thin, but for some reason he couldn't react to his father's message, was that really true? Does he really worry? Did he really care that I hadn't come home? Although he desperately wanted to know the answers he knew he couldn't deal with trying to find out. But he had to go home, whatever happened next, that was the only place it could happen. He turned on his engine and backed out of the parking space. He turned the radio on hoping music would distract him, but he didn't bargain for finding a song that would only remind him of his current situation.

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you've never been
But all the things that you've seen
They slowly fade away
So I'll start a revolution from my bed
'cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

Blaine started to cry once more, he thought of Kurt and how much it had hurt him to know that his boyfriend's life was speeding forward, while his own life came crashing to a halt. However, it would seem that soon Kurt's would too, as soon as Blaine found a way to tell him what he'd done.

And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say
Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
Who'll throw it all away

Now he thought of Rina, all she had done to keep him safe, and all the struggles she had faced since, presumably on her own, as never once had Blaine heard her speak of the night that changed his life. Despite everything, she wasn't angry; sad, broken and confused maybe, but she didn't seem angry, and suddenly Blaine wanted to learn to do the same. To not look back in anger.

I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed
cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, cause summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out
So, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say

Through the tears Blaine sings along with song, realizing he had just found the real song that defined him, the song he would sing in glee club that week. That is, if he was still in it.

So, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say
So, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
Don't look back in anger
I heard you say
At least not today.