Author's Notes: I'm so sorry I've been gone so long! I hope all of you are still interested! I wrote this for Cory Monteith, he may no longer be able to play Finn, but Finn can live on in fanfiction forever. Also, this chapter is quite intense, with slightly graphic descriptions of violence. However it feels real, and that's what I wanted, for it to feel real. I hope you all like Rina, and understand her. And in case you were wondering, I envision Cassie Steele (the Canadian actress) playing Rina, so that's what she looks like. Thanks again for reading. If you'd like to give criticism I am more than happy to hear it. :)
He couldn't tell you how he got home, if he was alone or if his parents were home, or even how he had ended up staring at the letter on his bed. Nonetheless, Blaine was staring at the beginning of his future, and the remnants of his past; and he was afraid of them both. He was growing afraid that he would read the letter and lose his nerve, but what if the letter held no hope of Rina ever returning? Or what if it held the key to her return? Whatever the outcome; there was only one option, to move forward. And no matter what happened, things would only get better if he did. He picked up the letter and sat down on his bed, gingerly opening the envelope and pulling out the folded note. He closed his eyes in fear of reading a single word out of context, and when he had steadied himself he opened them and hungrily read the words on the page.
Dear Blaine,
I'm sorry. I know that probably means absolutely nothing to you, but I have to say it just one more time. I have to go home, Melody needs me, and I'm not sure you do anymore. I wish I could have lived up to my promise, that I would always be there for you and that you would never have to forgive me again, but it seems I'm not good at keeping them. I hope you find better friends in life, I hope you find happiness with Kurt forever and always, and I hope you achieve all your dreams. If you ever find room in your heart to forgive me, I hope you will come and find me. I will never stop loving you or caring about you, and I hope you never forget that.
Your friend,
Rina
Blaine put down the letter and let out a sigh. He was happy to know that his friend hadn't abandoned him, that she was still looking to be connected with him. But did he deserve her friendship? She had never told him just how she had suffered to protect him, and she didn't seem to think it important enough to put it in her letter to him; but it was important. She had stood by him, suffered for him and with him, when no one else was willing to. He began to think back to his hospital room; the sights, smells and sounds coming back into a perfectly clear and painful memory.
Blaine awoke after three days of sleep in room 346 of Westerville Community Hospital. It was dark in his room, the sunlight blocked out to protect his recovering head and eyes. He looked to his left and saw a figure lying in the 'family cot' that was next to his bed. His eyes still heavy with sleep he softly called out "mom?" The figure stirred herself awake, but it wasn't his mother, it was his best friend Rina. She rushed to his side and said, "Blaine, you're awake!"
Blaine blinked up at her and he said, "where are my mom and dad?" She looked sad, or maybe she wasn't, he was having trouble reading her expression as she was rather stoic and unchanging. She looked at him and said, "they're at work, let me call the nurse."
Due to his concussion Blaine was having trouble processing all that was going on, but about an hour after waking up he was ready to ask questions about the last thing he remembered. Once his nurse had left his room he looked at Rina and noticed she had a bruise on her right eye. "How'd you get that?" he asked pointing at her face. She shrugged, "I fell, I was running in my heels when I heard that an ambulance was coming, and you know what a clutz I am in heels." Blaine could hear something strange in her voice, but he was too tired to analyze what it was or why.
"Did you see what happened?" he asked Rina. She nodded her head 'no' and said, "I was too late, the teachers were already outside and they weren't letting anyone close to you two." He suddenly realized that he hadn't been alone that night, that he wasn't the only one attacked, "Connor" was all he could mutter. Rina knew he would want an explanation so she said, "Connor is okay. Your injuries were the worst; he's already left the hospital." Blaine nodded and then realized he had no idea of where he was in relation to time, and asked, "what day is it?" "It's Wednesday, now no more questions, the police will be here soon to talk to you." He stayed silent, he didn't know what to say, and formulating thoughts and sentences seemed to hurt him anyhow. He tried to remember that night, what had happened, the face or voices of his attackers, but he couldn't remember anything. His last memory was of Connor, looking up at him and realizing he had left his scarf in the gymnasium, but thinking he was happy, because the flesh on Connor's neck looked to warm and inviting. After that, there was nothing, not a sound, not a sight, or a thought. Before he had even acknowledged the passage of more time the police came to interview him. Try as he might he couldn't provide them with any information, and pleaded with God, if there even was one, to help him remember anything.
After a while they left, and as they walked out of his room one of the officers saw Rina sitting in the waiting room. The officer walked over to her and said, "if he remembers anything, or you do, please call us. Nothing is too insignificant; we want to catch the boys responsible, for your sake and his. " Rina nodded in acknowledgement and walked back into Blaine's room. When she saw him she felt an incomprehensible sense of grief. He was lying in his bed, looking blankly at the wall, his eyes bruised and bloodshot, his ribs wrapped to keep them in place, his leg in a cast, a heart monitor beeping quietly in the background. She asked him if he wanted water but got no reply, so she said, "why don't you get some rest?"
Blaine registered her words, but her voice didn't match the words she was saying. He could hear fear in her voice, sadness, he could tell she was hurting too, but he couldn't seem to care. More than anything he wanted his father, the man who had once been in his life and made everything alright. But his father's absence spoke louder than words, and he knew the day had come, the day when he was no longer loved. As the stinging realization set in he began to sob, and Rina did something he never knew she could. Rina climbed into his bed and pulled him close, letting him cry on her chest. The more he cried the tighter he clutched on to her arms and waist. He had never felt this kind of love or protection from her, but somehow she had risen to the occasion, not even crying herself. She rocked him gently and said, "I'm here now Blaine. You're safe now."
Blaine decided it was time to move forward, time to take the first step in a long line of steps he would have to in order to make things right, one person at a time. He pulled out his phone and texted Rina, he knew if he heard her voice it would no doubt cause another fit of tears; he typed please come home, I need you. I'm sorry about what I said, but I need my best friend right now. He hesitated sending the message off, he was worried about what she would say back, but he found the courage within and let his heart go to Chicago with his text. Not a few moments later he got a text back, she replied, I'll be home Sunday, I love you Blaine.
He smiled, although it was bittersweet to know that she was the only one who would say that to him for a while, at least she still was, and it seemed she would never stop.
Finn thought about his conversation with Rina the night before. He had heard Kurt talk about Blaine's 'horrible past' in rather vague terms, not really knowing any of the details attached; but now with Rina's words he couldn't help but feel for Blaine, and regret over his own past actions. Fear was an ugly thing, it caused ignorance, violence, and pain; he could see now that he needed to stop being afraid. His whole life he had been driven by fear, fear of losing the memory of his father, fear of losing popularity, fear of losing the girl he loved. After hearing Rina's story he realized that her fear had caused her to make the biggest mistake of all, and he never wanted to have to come back from something that heavy, but he would do everything to help her come back from that place; starting with giving her a ride home from the airport on Sunday.
Mr. Anderson was relieved to have his son home. He could sense Blaine was hurting, he could feel the pain radiating off of his son, and he couldn't deny the role he played in his son's sorrow. But he had to try and make things right. Even if it was too late, even if things could never be the same, he would try. He wasn't sure where to start, but he had to start sometime, otherwise things would just get worse.
Mr. Anderson walked up the stairs to his son's room. He stared at the closed door as if it was the gateway to hell, but it was his own doing. If behind that door held all the wrath of his son, it was only because he wasn't a good father; it was only because he had failed. Now was not the time for fear, it was the time to try to make amends, no matter what it cost him. He knocked on Blaine's door, and asked, "son, can I come in?" Blaine answered his father coldly, "I'd rather be alone." Mr. Anderson sighed, he knew this would be an uphill battle, he knew he would have many failures before he began to win, but he couldn't let go until he knew he had done everything possible. He cleared this throat then said, "I'm just glad you're home, and I want you to know, where ever you want to go to school is great with me. Just don't go to Yale, okay?"
Blaine shot up from his bed and to the door, he swung it open wildly and said, "wait, what?" Mr. Anderson felt himself give an inward sigh of relief and said, "just not Yale, you know how I feel about Yale." He walked away from his son's room feeling as if he had triumphed. In the grand scheme of things this meant nothing, it did nothing to resolve the years of pain and heartache he had inflicted upon his son, but it was a start. Blaine's coming to the door and opening it meant he was open to reconciliation, and in that moment, that was all Mr. Anderson could ask for. But it was more than enough.
Sunday finally came and Rina stepped on the plane back to Lima. She wasn't certain what Blaine had meant when he asked her to come back, saying "I need my best friend", but she wouldn't let that bother her; she was happy enough knowing that she was being allowed to come back at all. The plane ride was short, as there wasn't much distance between Illinois and Ohio. Rina collected her belongings and walked out of the plane, through the terminal, and out to baggage claim. Finn was waiting for her, his back turned to her, and she approached slowly and quietly. As she finally got to him she tapped his shoulder lightly and he turned around to face her. As they stood face to face she realized how small she was in relation to him; he was nearly a foot taller than her. "Thank you," she said to Finn.
Finn smiled at Rina, there was something so fragile about her, he wanted to protect her, for some reason he felt it was up to him to do so. Finn pulled her into a hug and said, "I'm glad you came back, I'm glad you're going to work things out with Blaine." Rina smiled at his words and when she pulled away she said, "I'm just glad his father is coming to his senses, Blaine has needed him so much, if they can patch things up before he leaves for college, I know it will change his life for the better."
Finn nodded his head and took her suitcase from her then said, "are you hungry?" She smiled and said, "Finn Hudson, are you asking me on a date?" He laughed at her and said, "maybe, or maybe I'm just trying to be your friend." Rina looked down ashamed and he said, "in all seriousness, I do like you. But more importantly I want us to be friends. I'm not even sure I'm ready to date someone yet, I really do just want to help you. We can figure it out later, if there is anything to figure out." Rina felt relieved and said, "thanks Finn, I could use a friend, and a good meal." He took her hand and said, "well then let's go to get some food."
Finn sat across from Rina with no clue as to what to say. However for some inexplicable reason he wasn't alarmed by this. She sat looking at her menu, but he could tell she wasn't looking at it. She was somewhere else, lost in thought about something horrible. So instead of trying to talk to her he did the only thing he could think of. Finn gently placed his hand on top of hers. She didn't look back at him, but she squeezed his hand ever so lightly, as if to say thank you.
Rina had been here before, mostly because it was one of the very few restaurants in Ohio that could accommodate her gluten, dairy and soy free diet. The last time she was here it was November 28, 2009, just before the Sadie Hawkins dance.
She could remember the conversation they had, and even what she ate, but that was mostly because the trauma of the subsequent events that night had caused her to throw up the dinner she had eaten. Suddenly she wasn't at the restaurant anymore; she was outside of Westerville High, running towards the boys who were beating her friends senseless. Somehow she didn't seem to realize she was outnumbered and outmatched in strength, she just knew she had to stop them. She used Connor's scarf to wrap around the neck of one of the guys, choking him while jumping onto his back. The jock fell to the ground, but he didn't stay down long because two other boys left beating Blaine to pull Rina off of him and slam her into a chain link fence. The boys held her hands while the one beating Connor moved slowly towards her and said, "oh, look, it's the faggot's guardian angel." As he stepped closer to her he pulled off the ski mask he had been wearing, and she looked into his cold dead hazel eyes. It was her ex-boyfriend Zack, and presumably the two holding her down were his best friends, Dean and Logan. "How could you!" she shouted angrily at him. "He's my best friend, why are you doing this?" Zack moved in till he was just inches away from her face and said, "because I hate these guys. They're disgusting, vile, they need to be eliminated. And you've been poisoned by them. That's really why I broke up with you Rina, I couldn't have a girlfriend who was friends with a fag." Rina began to cry when she saw how much hate he had inside, how little was left of the boy she used to know, it scared her. "Just please, stop, stop hurting them," she pleaded quietly.
Zack let out a cold heartless laugh, "why should I? Or will you give me something in return?" As he said those words she felt her blood turn cold. She knew what he wanted. She knew what he meant, and it wasn't something he could get from someone else.
"You always held out on me, well now you won't. You can either give me what I want or you can watch your friend die, it's your choice." Rina steadied herself, for some inexplicable reason she felt an inner calm and firmly said, "no Zack, you can't hurt me and you can't hurt Blaine and Connor. It's over now." He grew angry, rage welled within him and he punched Rina as hard as he could in her left lung, knowing she would lose the air in her lungs and possibly consciousness.
Rina screamed from the pain, but her scream was cut short from the lack of oxygen in her lungs. She gasped hard for breath but said again, looking straight into his eyes, "I will not sleep with you Zack." Again he punched her, this time a right hook connecting with her face, and she knew a black eye was coming, that is if it wasn't already there. When she managed to straighten herself out she saw him walk back over to a barely conscious Blaine. She heard him very weakly call out "Rina?" But no sooner had he uttered the words than a swift kick to the head knocked him out for good. "Stop!" she yelled, however the boys used Connor's scarf to gag her and she could no longer speak. She was defenseless now, and she was the only hope for Blaine and Connor. Zack came back over to Rina who was wriggling and writhing trying to get away from the two boys. He held her face and said, "now you can cooperate, and your friends won't die. Or you can save yourself. It's your choice. But tonight someone will pay." Rina was shaking out of fear, tears streaming down her face, what would she do? She took several deep breaths and then tried as best as she could to relax beneath the boy's grasp. Zack said to her, "good girl. Now here's a little incentive for you to stay quiet." As he spoke Zack pulled a knife out of his pocket and held it to Rina's neck, then took off her gag only to shove his tongue down her throat as his free hand found its way up her dress. Soon she heard him unzipping his pants, and then she closed her eyes as tight as she could hoping it would all be over soon.
It had been a while since Rina had such an intense flashback, but when she realized she wasn't in the Westerville High parking lot, she suddenly breathed a heavy sigh; only to realize that she had scared the living crap out of Finn and was squeezing the life out of his hand.
"Finn, I'm so incredibly sorry!" she exclaimed. Finn moved across the table and sat next to her, letting her fall into his open arms and rest her head on his chest. "It's alright Rina, I'm here for you," he said to her. She looked up at him and said, "I didn't just let them go Finn. I let them do something else, something vile. And I'm disgusting too Finn. I'm not worthy of your friendship!" She started to cry and Finn said to her, "whatever it was, they are the villains, not you. Whatever happened, it's not your fault, and even though you don't need to make anything right, you've come back to do the only thing you can. That makes you the hero Rina, you're a hero." Rina looked up at him and said, "no Finn, I'm not. It's time you hear the part I left out." Finn's head started reeling at the thought of there being even more to the story than she had already told him, but he steadied himself and listened to her finish the story of Sadie Hawkins.
It didn't take Zack long to get what he wanted, and just as Rina thought it might be over he uttered the words that would send her to hell and back. "Well now, it's your turn Dean." Rina opened her eyes and screamed, "no!" But she was silenced while the other boy had his way with her, and soon after the third followed suit. Finally they had finished with their sadistic game. Rina was let go, falling weakly to the ground, numb and broken. As the boys walked away she threw up, her body violently rejecting the events that had just taken place. She mustered all her courage and screamed for help as loud as she could, slowly crawling toward Blaine. When she got to him she pleaded with him, "wake up Blaine! Please wake up! Don't leave me, you can't die!" Through sobs she continued to cry for help, and the next thing she knew she was riding in an ambulance to Westerville Community Hospital, unable to speak any more.
For some reason Rina couldn't seem to feel anything as she told Finn the final piece of the puzzle. She looked into his eyes and she saw him begin to cry, here was Finn Hudson six foot tall Finn Hudson crying over the plight of a girl her barely knew. Finn hugged her tight and said to her, "whatever happens from here on out, for however long we spend in each others lives; you are my hero. I hope I can live up to the stunning example of courage and strength you set before me. I am so glad to know you. I am honored to know you." Rina smiled while wrapped in his embrace and said, "the honor is all mine."
Rina smiled that night for a lot of reasons, but first and foremost, because she had finally let go. Finn Hudson was now the only person in the world who knew the whole truth. But with his help she would find the strength and courage to tell the people that needed to know, the people who mattered most. They sat in silence for a while and Rina heard a song playing in the restaurant, one she knew and loved. What she didn't know was at the same time Blaine was listening to the same song, wishing she was with him. Feeling lost without her.
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
Finn and Rina ate dinner as if nothing had happened that night, and as he drove her to Blaine's house they talked and laughed as though she wasn't going to have an incredibly difficult few months ahead of her. They finally arrived and Finn parked his truck, helping her with her things. Finally they said goodnight and as she turned to walk up the driveway Finn called after her, "you're never alone Rina. Don't forget that." She smiled and looked back at him then said, "and neither are you."
