Part Three
and I hear him every night in every pore and every time he just makes me warm
Kurogane went straight to Shizuka's bedroom when he got home. It had taken him only a few minutes to run the distance between Fai's home and his own, but it had felt longer. He was troubled and confused and angry, and the only thing that would help right now was to be distracted.
Shizuka had gone back to sleep, though. Kurogane hovered at the door for a moment, contemplating rousing him. Tearing his clothes off, kissing every inch of him, sucking him off and making him howl and tug at Kurogane's hair. Or not even that. Just making him speak, even. Talk about his studies at school or this new girlfriend of his or the terrible novel he was reading. Just so Kurogane did not have to think.
Instead, he went to his own room and began to pace restlessly.
His father. Fai had touched his hand and suddenly seen his father. Kurogane was enraged at the idea that anyone, much less a powerful vampire, could look into his mind and take what they wanted, but even worse was Fai's own surprise that he could. Kurogane didn't want to be an unexplainable enigma, and he sure as hell didn't want the arrogant little lord to go digging around looking for the answers.
Except . . . Kurogane had nearly forgotten what his father looked like. The burst of clarity had brought him back more surely than spending hours trying to describe him. His teeth bared as he furiously defended his family against the attack, knowing it was hopeless but fighting anyway, tall and dark and everything Kurogane had wanted to be—
Kurogane whirled around and punched his closet door. Then he stood staring at the broken wood and pile of clothing on the floor at his feet. He really ought to know better than to punch anything.
So he'd go back, and he knew it. He'd let Fai try to figure out the reason for seeing things he shouldn't be able to see. If it helped him get his memories back, then he might be able to remember the vampire that had turned him and allow him to find them. He wanted answers from that bastard. He wanted retribution for his family. Fai could help him get that.
What Kurogane wanted far more than that was to remember the sound of his mother when she laughed.
Kurogane stacked up the broken pieces of the closet door and began to re-hang the clothes, his frustration finding no outlet other than to keep moving. Perhaps for some vampires, the length of their life made them take their time and consider nothing urgent. But for Kurogane it had always meant that there was no reason to wait before doing anything. He was tempted to head straight back to the other house.
He restrained himself. Fai would be busy with Yuui for at least a few days, not to mention this fiasco with the vampire they'd executed at dawn. That was another thing. Kurogane didn't want to be a part of this. He didn't want to get into politics and drama and meet powerful figures who thought they could tell him what to do. He just wanted to look after his family and be left alone.
And what if they got dragged into this, somehow? Chitose and Sayaka and their kids were all that was left of Tomoyo, his first and best friend. Could they get dragged into this just by knowing him? And Shizuka had even been present in the house when they'd done the deed. He was Kurogane's to protect, at least in the vampires' world.
It would be better if he knew exactly what the problem was. He could tell that Kusanagi and Fai were anxious about it, but he didn't really understand why. He'd picked up on the fact that Rondart seemed to think he was Fai's equal, but that begged the question of who the hell Fai really was.
And then there was Yuui. He wasn't even going to start thinking about Yuui. That was something he just didn't even want to deal with right now. He wasn't going to think about his smile or his scent or the silver in his hair . . .
He heard the sound of Shizuka's footsteps long before Shizuka thought to clear his throat, and turned around and glared at him.
"What's wrong?"
"Fucking twins," Kurogane growled.
Shizuka blinked. "What?"
"Nothing," Kurogane muttered, picking up a shirt and shaking the splinters of wood off it. "Just, Fai can read my mind, and it's fucking eerie, and I don't know what the hell even happened last night but I know it's something I should have stayed out of and definitely shouldn't have gotten you involved in."
Shizuka shrugged and ambled over to him, picking up a good-sized chunk of the door and tossing it on the heap Kurogane had made. "I was already going to be involved. Did you just say he can read your mind?"
"He says he's doing that dreaming thing, except I don't have dreams so obviously not. He doesn't know how he's doing it, so don't ask."
"Okay," Shizuka said placidly. He shook out a jacket and handed it to Kurogane. "Not to add any more stress to your life, but I think you should meet Himawari really soon."
"Who?"
"My—hmm."
"Oh, your girlfriend."
"Sort of."
"Wait, meet her? She knows about me?"
"Don't get all pissed off until I explain."
"This had better be good."
Shizuka was far from intimidated. He flopped down on Kurogane's bed—an article of furniture he kept simply because the room looked weird without one—and laced his fingers behind his head. "I already knew who she was when I met her. At school, by the way, she's in one of my classes. Because Fai showed her to me in my dreams."
"Why did you go to Fai in the first place, anyway?"
"Thought it was weird that I couldn't ever remember my dreams except to know that they were really ominous, so I started poking around trying to find somebody who could explain it. He kinda found me from there, and said he could help. So I said sure, why not. And once he looked in and realized how much of my future he couldn't see, he decided to tell me about vampires and everything. So when I ran into you, I thought you were probably somebody I needed to stick close to."
"So then what about this girl?"
"That's what I was trying to talk about; you wanted to hear why I met with Fai."
"Now you're just being a dick," Kurogane scowled.
Shizuka grinned for a moment before resuming his explanation. "The first day of class, we were heading out of the door at the same moment, and she stopped dead when she saw me. I'm sitting there trying to figure out how to approach her, and she just says, 'I had a dream about you last week. Do you want to go get a coffee?' So it was pretty simple, really. We got coffee and talked."
"Pretty simple—" Kurogane cut himself off. "So you told her about vampires."
"Yeah."
"You're an idiot."
"You've mentioned that."
"How come she didn't need to go to Fai to see her dreams or whatever?"
Shizuka frowned. "I don't know. Maybe she's just got some kind of power I don't have."
"Power?" Kurogane snorted.
"You're making fun of me for believing in that? You, the one hundred and thirty year old man who lives off my blood?"
Kurogane opened his mouth, closed it, and then just suddenly couldn't take anymore of this. He dropped the pair of pants he was holding and sank down onto the floor, drawing his legs up and resting his chin on his arms. "Point taken," he mumbled.
That had Shizuka sitting upright and staring at him. "What—"
"Nothing."
It was all crowding onto him at once. There was some kind of huge mess that he'd gotten involved in, and all he knew about it so far was that it involved a vampire with a power that scared him and a human he wanted and couldn't have. The thing he was most concerned about was his ability to protect what was his, and yet here was Shizuka not only unconcerned for himself but trying to throw his girlfriend into it.
He missed Tomoyo. He missed talking to her. She would have helped him figure all this out.
"You're not really going to be able to do much until you go back there and get Fai to explain it to you."
"I know."
"You know you're pouting like a little kid right now, right?"
Kurogane looked up to glare at him, because what the fuck did he know, but Shizuka was obliviously climbing off the bed.
"I'm starving, I'm getting something to eat."
Kurogane got up and followed him. "I'll make you something." He might not eat, but he wasn't a terrible cook after all these years. If he wasn't going to be of any use to himself, he might as well make Shizuka breakfast.
Kurogane went to answer the knock on his door wondering if it was Shizuka's little springtime girlfriend, but he should have known better. Only vampires waited until dusk to come for a visit.
He bristled at the sight of Kusanagi on his doorstep, feeling so immediately and uncontrollably territorial that his claws shot out. It was one thing to have been at Kusanagi's place—he'd been invited. He hadn't issued any similar invitation. There was something in him that wanted to tear this foreign predator apart before it could violate his home or threaten his human.
He immediately tried to restrain himself. Kusanagi had never been a threat to him and this was hardly the time to start an internal conflict in their little corner of the world.
"What's up?"
"I'm heading back to Fai's to talk. He said try to get you to come along."
"Try?" Kurogane repeated, crossing his arms.
Kusanagi shrugged. "He said it's not an order."
"That bastard ever tries to give me an order, I'll shove it up his ass," Kurogane muttered. This was his way of covering up his relief at having an excuse to go. He was capable of humility when the situation called for it, but he wasn't planning to go belly-up to Fai anytime soon. "Hang on a second." He walked halfway down the hallway and yelled, "I'm going to Fai's!"
"I'm going to Himawari's!" was yelled back at him.
"I'm pulling rank and telling you no sex! I need to drink tomorrow and she tastes like goddamn sunshine!"
"Fine! Do you have a preference for wine, though?"
"I only like red! Don't drink that sweet white crap!"
"Yes, boss!"
"And don't call me that!"
"Yes, sir!"
"Fuck you!"
Communication thus accomplished, Kurogane went back to Kusanagi and stepped outside, locking the door behind him. Kusanagi looked more amused than anything, and he'd better keep his mouth shut. Fai had already so kindly pointed out that Kurogane allowed Shizuka too much freedom.
There was a young couple walking a dog and pushing a stroller, so they had to walk normally instead of taking off fast right away. Once they had rounded a corner and were free of any witnesses, they both started running. There was nothing quite so good as the wind rushing over your face and blowing through your hair, Kurogane thought distantly. He loved to run. He loved to watch the lights flash past him and to leap over anything that got in his way. When there had been less city and more nature, he used to test himself by chasing down animals. He let them go when he caught them, of course, but it was the only real challenge he had.
He was at Fai's door quicker than he thought he'd be. He must be getting faster.
Lucia answered the door, her smile bright and welcoming, but Fai was right behind her. He peered over Kurogane's shoulder. "Where's Kusanagi?"
Kurogane looked behind him with surprise. "Uh. I think I outran him."
"Ah. Entrez, come in. Thank you for choosing to come."
So Fai felt awkward about it too. Small consolation.
Kurogane stepped into the sitting room and was surprised to see Yuui there, laying on the sofa and managing to look more indolent than invalid. But he was still pale and his eyes were heavily shadowed. There was a tray with some kind of soup and some kind of juice beside him, so at least he was trying.
"My hero comes at last," he sighed, hanging his head over the arm of the sofa to offer Kurogane a dreamy smile.
"Are you drunk?" Kurogane scoffed, moving more fully into the room but not sitting. There were a few chairs in here, but he had manners and was waiting for an invitation.
"Well, I am weak with blood loss and I may have taken several painkillers recently," Yuui said thoughtfully and worryingly slowly. "But the food should help soon. Either that or I shall faint again. It could go either way. Will you sit down?"
Kurogane supposed it was Yuui's house as much as it was Fai's, so he sat down. "You look better."
"My darling brother has taken good care of me."
That was all Kurogane really needed to hear about that. Thankfully, Kusanagi arrived just then and was ushered inside, and the bustle of the door closing and the others coming in saved him from saying anything stupid.
Kusanagi slapped Kurogane on the shoulder as he walked past him to find his own seat. "Can't believe you outstripped me like that. You're too damn fast."
Kurogane was perfectly happy with being fast and wasn't about to apologize. Maybe Kusanagi just needed to work out more.
"Dare say he could give you a run for your money, Fai," Kusanagi added.
Fai paused in the act of sitting down. "I doubt that."
"Anytime you feel like testing it out," Kurogane grinned.
"I would be delighted," Fai said smoothly.
Yuui burst out laughing. "Oh, he is so self-assured, it's enchanting," he crooned, still giving Kurogane moon-struck eyes. "You do not know enough about Fai to know how foolish your challenge is, do you?"
"Oh, knock it off," Kurogane snapped. He looked at Fai. "Are you really that fast?"
Fai shrugged, looking almost as embarrassed as Kurogane. "It is what I was made for," he said. "And this actually leads us to the point of this meeting. We are here to discuss what may happen in the next few days, but I realized it was necessary to give Kurogane something of an education before we could have a beneficial conversation about it."
"Yeah, probably," Kurogane admitted grudgingly. He'd never cared before, but now he sort of had to. Best to be prepared.
"I think it's safe to say you know nothing, but have you at least heard of Clow Reed?"
Kurogane nodded, grateful for the small amount of familiarity to ground him. "Heard other vampires swear on his name, before. I know we don't have gods or anything like that, but I figured he had to be really powerful at least."
"He was," Fai said. "He was so old and spoke so little of himself that it has never been confirmed, but the rumours say that he was the first of our kind. And he was by far the most powerful. Even the oldest would bow to him. If he spoke, a vampire obeyed."
"Okay," Kurogane said. "Vampire king. Got it."
Yuui laughed softly.
"Clow Reed is gone, now. He chose final death and asked his children to carry it out. One of his children died soon afterward under mysterious circumstances, Yue who served close at his side. I will explain later about these deaths. What is most important, currently, is that he has only two children still surviving. These two children of his are the most powerful and important of our kind. They have vast holdings and many lesser vampires at their service. They are also enemies. Do you follow so far?"
Kurogane gave Fai a glare for the patronizing question. "It's not difficult. The kingdom was split in two. You've got two rival kings now."
"Almost," Fai said, with a soft laugh. "One of these children is called Fei Wang Reed. He is of the mind that humans are cattle and slaves and worthless. Far from punishing abuses against them by vampires under his service, he tends to encourage it. The other is a woman, so technically we have a king and a queen, you see. Her name is Yuuko. She believes the very opposite of humans. She believes it is the duty of every vampire to protect and cherish them—we were, after all, human ourselves once. After all, what good is strength if it is not used to help those who do not have it?"
"I like her," Kurogane said immediately. "But if you're trying to tell me I have to go declare my allegiance to someone's kingdom, you're gonna find out I'm not that easy to order around."
Fai smiled. "You do not have to serve either of them directly, but depending on where you choose to make your home, their rules must be abided by."
"I'm guessing that I'm abiding by hers, considering what happened yesterday."
"Indeed. Now, then, you must understand how delicate the balance of power between these two can be. There are many vampires in the world, more than you think. If enough of them chose to ignore what bloodlines have always meant to us, it would be possible to overthrow them. The two of them must be good rulers and carefully not abuse the balance of power to avoid that. They agreed long ago that the two of them would each have the same number of children. Because they themselves are directly the children of Clow, their own children are also quite powerful, you understand. So it would be unfair for say, Fei Wang Reed to have only two and Yuuko to have twenty."
"I guess. So how many do they have?"
"Well, that's complicated. You see, we killed one of Reed's children last night."
"Oh, fuck," Kurogane blurted. They might have told him this beforehand.
Yuui started giggling at that. "Fuck, yes," he said, not unkindly. "Fai is being very dramatic right now and trying to make this into some sort of grand revelation. But you mustn't blame him for it; being dramatic is practically a requirement for his position. What he isn't telling you is that he's one of Yuuko's children himself."
Kurogane had to take a moment with that one. "So you're, what . . . A prince?"
"Of a sort," Fai said uncomfortably.
"Did you start a war last night? Did you just execute your cousin?"
"He's hardly a member of my family," Fai said, affronted. "We have a tie of blood from our makers, but I would never claim him as a loved one."
"No wonder you were upset."
Fai looked grieved. "There is no telling what sort of man Kyle Rondart was before Fei Wang Reed turned him. His influence is so great that it would have eclipsed some of Kyle's own personality. I do not think we saw more than a moment of who he truly was. And I think we only saw it at the moment of his death. If he had agreed to enter service with me . . . I might have been able to . . . Well, it doesn't matter now."
They were all silent a moment at that.
"In reality, what I did corrected an imbalance that already existed. As I said before, it becomes very complicated. Because Reed cheated, and made two brothers his children at once, and he technically had four children whereas my mother had only three. But we allowed it to stand because those two rebelled and escaped from him many years ago and have been in hiding ever since. Since they are not using their power to serve him, we allowed the imbalance to stand."
"Mostly so you wouldn't have to admit you helped them go into hiding," Yuui broke in to point out. He was starting to fade again, his movements becoming sluggish. "They were just boys, it was terrible," he said to Kurogane. "Yuuko was only too happy to help them get away."
"Yes," Fai agreed. "Now would you be quiet? You are going to make yourself pass out before we even start discussing anything."
"Fine," Yuui said huffily.
"Now then," Fai said, shifting in his seat. "So as things stand, Reed still has three children, although two are hidden from him. His other child is called Freya. She is beautiful, and powerful, and deeply under his control, so if you are ever approached by a vampire with long blond hair, you should run as fast as you can."
"What about Yuuko's other children? Kyle kept talking about your brother."
Fai's face crumpled at that. "Kimihiro. He went to Fei Wang Reed's court and serves him. About that, we can do nothing. He chose to go there of his own free will. It grieves my mother deeply, but he made his choice. And it is . . . hard to blame him. He had a human brother, and Reed took his brother as a thrall. Kimihiro chose his human family over his vampire kin, and there is nothing I can say about that."
Yuui had gone very still.
Kurogane glanced at Kusanagi, then, to see if the other vampire felt as ridiculously uncomfortable as he did, having to be in the same room when Fai and Yuui were having an entire conversation with their eyes. The two of them seemed to have forgotten for the moment that anyone else was there. Kusanagi looked back at him with no expression on his face save a grim set to his mouth. Yeah, he wanted to be anywhere else in the world just as bad as Kurogane did.
"Why doesn't he just grab his brother and come home, though?" Kurogane asked awkwardly.
Startled out of their eye sex or whatever they were doing, both twins turned toward him again.
"That is a good question," Fai said, "that we have all asked many times. The answer is that we don't know. Kimihiro does not contact us. And we cannot simply travel into Reed's lands and demand answers without causing offense of the sort we cannot afford."
"Right. So what about your other sibling, then? Where are they at?"
"Suu," Fai supplied, his face brightening when he said the name. "My sister. She stays close to my mother and serves at her side. She is the only one of us who has made a child of her own. She has a child called Ora. Suu and Ora stay near Mother, and they share a prey between them. It's all very scandalous," he added with a slight sparkle in his eyes. "The others do love to gossip about it."
"So you guys get along, at least."
"Oh, yes," Fai said, seeming happy. "Suu is wonderful."
"So who's Ashura, then?"
Fai seemed startled by that.
"I mean, you said you served him. Is he part of your family?"
"Ah. No, he is—was—not. He was old and powerful, extremely so. I . . . you must understand something about me. About how and why I was made. Yuuko is very careful and very smart about choosing whom she makes into her children, finding those she thinks will be uniquely suited to her needs. Suu is gifted with illusions and she can navigate intrigue and gossip and secrets and she is perfect for such games. Kimihiro . . . Mother passed on to him much of her own power and influence. When he walks into a room, every vampire will drop to their knees; I struggle not to bow to him myself and he is my own brother. When Mother made me, what she needed was a hunter."
Your quarry. A rustle in the dark. There. The scent of blood hot and thick and real, filling the air around you, the cool of the night rushing past you as you give chase, the shadows hiding danger and game alike, and your claws glinting in starlight—
Kurogane struggled for control. "Oh," he said dumbly, trying to swim out of his sudden daydream.
"And . . . I thought Yuui was dead. Yuuko had thought him dead. I believed . . . Well. I was angry. And lost. And full of bloodlust that I could not control without her help, but I did not want her help, not then. So I left. I took up with a gang of other bloodthirsty monsters and I— suffice it to say that I was more monster than any of them. I was more wild animal than anything, and I remember little of it save to know that I was a killer."
Fai was looking at his feet, and Kurogane found it hard to condemn him when the grief of it still seemed to rest so heavy on him.
"Until Ashura caught me on his land. When I was brought before him for judgment, Ashura offered me mercy. I had not expected it. But I was desperate for it, and I accepted. He was able to teach me to control myself. If we carry out this metaphor of a kingdom, then consider Ashura a nobleman. He had enough influence that he was able to convince my mother that it was for the best, and she left me with him for the twenty years I had pledged."
"And so now you're what, reformed?"
Fai spread his hands helplessly. "I hope I am. I have not killed a human since then, but sometimes the hunter in me can become hard to control. Suu is always in the back of my mind to remind me not to stray."
"So what happened after the twenty years were up?"
"Ashura chose to die after that. He felt he had lived long enough, and he asked to be killed. It was all done with ceremony, with witnesses to ensure that it was of his own free will. I was there. He said he was glad he had lived long enough to help me. Then I returned to my dame, and began to serve at her side. I did not know that she had worked in the meantime on my behalf. She had located Yuui for me."
"Where were you?" Kurogane asked the other twin, who was now laying very still and quiet on the sofa, trying to stay with them and not fall back asleep.
"Not dead," Yuui said cheekily, but quelled when he looked at Fai's grim expression. "In Africa. Hired out as a mercenary. There was always fighting in Africa then."
"There's always fighting in Africa now," Kurogane couldn't help but point out.
"Yes, and that is the truest tragedy of war." The wistful, grieved expression didn't sit right on his face. He was built for smiles.
"So," Fai said, his voice slightly too loud, "I found him, and reassured him that while I was not, strictly speaking, alive, neither was I gone from him. He had not made any attachments that were hard to break, so I was able to bring him home with me right away."
"First he was being dramatic, and now he is attempting to be kind," Yuui said, shifting uncomfortably and pressing his hand briefly to the wound on his neck. "I didn't fare much better than Fai did, once I thought he'd died. Did many things I regret. I was a laudanum addict and I was dying when he found me."
Fai hurried to the sofa and went to one knee beside Yuui, gently touching his shoulder. "If you're in pain, just say so," he said softly. "You ought to go back to bed."
"No," Yuui said stubbornly. "I'm well enough. This is important. Stop fretting."
Fai acquiesced, going back to his seat. Kurogane followed his movement. Fast, but graceful and light. Kurogane was beginning to wonder whether or not he really could challenge him for speed or strength.
"Kusanagi, you've been very quiet," Fai suddenly said.
The man in question shuffled his feet. "Not my story to tell."
"No, but I suppose we are ready to begin discussing the situation at hand. And since you are of course the eldest . . ."
Kusanagi groaned when Fai offered a sly smile. "Don't start that again."
"He is?" Kurogane asked in complete surprise.
"He's past two hundred."
"Yeah, but . . . Then how old are you?"
"I have a mere one hundred and thirty seven years," Fai grinned.
"We're practically the same age!" Kurogane couldn't help feeling cheated. He'd expected a powerful prince to be at least three times his age. "You could influence me or Kusanagi without even trying!"
"Such is the benefit of being the child of Yuuko, queen among vampires," Fai laughed. But the smile fell away again quickly. "Kimihiro is also quite young. My mother had other children before us, whom she lost in a conflict." He waved a hand. "That is quite beside the point. Kusanagi, did you have anything to say?"
Kusanagi just shrugged. "I wouldn't have given witness if I didn't think it was the right thing to do. He was guilty, and he goaded you into hunting him. He knew what he was doing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was using you."
"Using me?" Fai repeated, but he didn't sound all that surprised. Kurogane had already begun to wonder about that, himself, and was glad to know he was getting the hang of this enough to make reasonable guesses.
"Not just to die, although he probably wanted that," Kurogane spoke up. "He probably knew he was going to upset the power balance."
"Yes, I think so," Fai agreed. "The only question is why? Why choose me? Why now?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Kurogane ignored the fact that he was disrespecting a prince by saying it that way. "You're the hunter, right? And you're out here on your own, away from the court. He probably couldn't be sure that it would work if he broke the rules where your mother or sister would catch him. But it had to be one of you, right?"
"Mmmm, I think you are right," Fai said, thoughtfully tapping at his lower lip with his index finger. "As for why now, at this moment . . . I do not think we can know that until I have spoken to my mother and found out what she knows of Reed's court right now."
"You don't know?"
"I removed myself from the game as far as I could," Fai said. "I don't know enough to even begin to guess."
Out here on his own, no court or retainers or lesser vampires other than Kusanagi, and his only servant a sweet little housekeeper? Yeah, that was pretty far removed. And now his misery made even more sense—he really had hated to kill Rondart, but he also hated that by doing so, he was going to get dragged back in. Kurogane felt more sympathy for him, now. He hadn't wanted to get involved in anything either. But it was no good crying about it now.
"So we're all in deep shit, right? This Reed guy is going to want restitution or something because we killed his child, and we need your mother in on this to help us figure out how to not fuck everything completely up."
Yuui giggled weakly. "So eloquent," he said dreamily.
"Accurate enough," Fai added in a grumpy tone. Then a look passed between him and Kusanagi, and there was some kind of understanding they were coming to, looking at each other and nodding, and Kurogane wasn't pleased about being left out of it. "Kurogane . . . I do not feel right about involving you in this. Your name will not be mentioned, and you hold no responsibility here. You had no idea—"
"No responsibility? Are you even listening to yourself?" Kurogane barked out, angry enough that he jumped to his feet. "I pronounced him guilty, I stood witness to his execution! It doesn't matter what I had an idea about, if I didn't want to get involved then I wouldn't have gotten involved. No, I'm part of this now. What would you do, anyway, tell them you'd judged and executed him without a third witness? How stupid are you?"
Fai also jumped to his feet. "Know your place!" he hissed.
Kurogane felt power slam into his brain like a breaking wave, and he fell back into his chair with a solid thump. Unwilling, and struggling, and scowling, he murmured, "Yes, sir."
"Fai!" Yuui suddenly snapped.
Kusanagi had also stood up, hands ready at his sides in case he needed to jump into the fray, but Yuui was laying back against the arm of the sofa, a sheen of sweat on his face and a frown on his lips.
He issued a rapid stream of foreign words that Kurogane had no hope of following, but it was like watching a father chastising his child. Fai tried to argue but quickly wilted under the barrage, and Kurogane took a moment to think, incredibly stupidly, that even when they were speaking in anger it sounded like poetry.
Fai eventually sat back down. He looked at Kurogane from beneath a tumble of blond hair, as though the innocent youthful thing was somehow going to help.
"Yuui has reminded me that I came here because I was tired of people bowing and scraping to me. He is entirely correct that my desire to protect you has caused me to lose my temper unforgivably. It was wrong of me to imply that you are incapable of making your own decisions. Please accept my apology."
Kurogane cleared his throat. "Yeah, well, so that's settled. So what do we think's gonna happen, then?"
While Fai and Yuui were both looking at him like he was a completely new breed of vampire, Kusanagi answered.
"Formal hearing type of thing. We'll all have to travel to the Old World, to Yuuko's court, to meet with the elders of our kin—you know, the nobles—and they will decide how it gets handled. Since Reed's overdue a punishment for making two children at once, it'll probably only be a slap on the wrist. Land or money given to Fei Wang Reed as recompense. It'd be different if Fai had killed him in cold blood, but he was clearly within his rights, so it won't be bad. There's a few of the older ones who would still require that Yuuko give Reed some human thralls as part of the payment, but I don't think they'll get much support. Yuuko's stance has changed a lot of minds over the years."
Kurogane chewed on that for a moment. "I can't believe you still call it the Old World," he said at last.
Kusanagi chuckled. "I didn't say we changed quickly."
"That doesn't sound that bad. I'm just going to have to go to tell them what I witnessed, right? Or am I supposed to make part of the payment?"
"Normally you would be required to make payment," Fai said, "but I will be doing that for all three of us. And before you argue," he said, when Kurogane opened his mouth, "I would do the same for anyone who had borne witness for me. I have the right to fulfill the obligations of any vampire who lives under my protection."
Kurogane found himself relaxing quite a bit, now that he had a firmer grasp of the situation. "The way you were stressing out, I was expecting us to get thrown into a pit of bloodthirsty newborns or something."
Fai laughed weakly. "No, I am a selfish creature entirely, Kurogane. I am only concerned that once I am back in my mother's court, I will never be able to have a quiet life again."
Something didn't add up right about him. The way he spoke and carried himself, the ease with which he accepted responsibility and issued orders . . . He was a natural at being a prince. And he seemed to have plenty of affection for his maker and his siblings (still not thinking about his twin) so it made no sense that he was trying to avoid them.
"You mean you'll have to stop punishing yourself," Kurogane said.
The silence was deafening.
"Isn't that what you're doing? Living in exile to punish yourself for what you did when you were younger?"
Fai stood up and stalked out of the room. Kusanagi leveled Kurogane with a look that implied Kurogane was a complete idiot. He'd been standing ever since Fai and Kurogane had gotten in each other's faces a few minutes ago, and now he dipped his head to Yuui.
"Tell Fai I've gone out to patrol, and to call me when he has need of me."
"Mmm."
"Goodnight."
As soon as he was gone, Kurogane focused on Yuui, who hadn't lifted his head and probably couldn't, at this point.
"Dizzy?"
"Very."
"You want me to warm up this soup so you can finish it?"
"I think I would vomit," Yuui whispered.
"Um. Are you going to vomit?"
"Only if I am required to move at all or breathe."
"Do you want to go back to bed? I can probably convince Fai to come back in to help you get up."
Yuui offered him a watered-down version of his cheeky smile. "And miss the opportunity to be carried by you?"
"No," Kurogane said immediately. "No, I'm a vampire, moron, and you're another vampire's—"
"If you are about to tell me that I am Fai's property, then you are not the sort of person I had started to believe you were," Yuui said, managing to make it sound sharp.
"No, I just meant . . . Ah, dammit, fine, I'll carry you."
Kurogane set the blanket aside and lifted Yuui into his arms, and was surprised by how easy he was to carry. He glanced down at Yuui's face several times as they went down the hall, watching for signs that he really would throw up, but he had his face pressed in to Kurogane's shirt. Kurogane tried to slide him onto the bed without jostling him too much.
"Water?"
"Mmm, no."
Yuui had his eyes closed, and Kurogane's hand found its way to his forehead on its own, dabbing at his clammy skin.
"You really should have eaten that soup. You gotta try to eat more when you wake up."
"You're very sweet," Yuui murmured. "I will endeavour to be ill more often if it leads to being waited on by you."
"Look, stop that," Kurogane snapped, stung in spite of himself.
"What do you mean?"
"Stop flirting with me," Kurogane clarified, too frustrated to be much embarrassed. "Look, it's none of my business what you and your brother want to do, but it's still a fact that you are doing—well, things. With him. And you know how good you smell to me, so just stop."
"Merde. You're right. I'm sorry. I can hardly get swept off my feet when I know very well I do not want to ever be parted from Fai."
"Swept off your feet," Kurogane repeated flatly.
"Well, you're very heroic," Yuui murmured with a soft smile. "And brave and handsome and all the rest."
"All that blood loss is getting to you," Kurogane snorted.
"Perhaps you will not look quite so good to me in the morning, then?"
Kurogane felt prickly all over, like his body wanted to blush. He'd thought it was all just a joke, that it was just the way Yuui was or something. Was he seriously interested?
"Well, you should get some rest," Kurogane muttered.
"Yes. Kuro . . . Kmphhh-handsome," he mumbled, fading fast and turning stupid. "Talk to . . ."
"Fai?"
"Oui. Dreams . . ."
That was all Yuui managed to say, but it was enough to remind Kurogane of what he really wanted when he came over tonight. He wanted to see how much Fai could draw out of his memory. And that meant trying to cool down both of their tempers and stop posturing around each other so much.
He heard voices, and followed them into the kitchen, where Fai was conversing with Lucia. She looked perfectly alert, despite the late hour. She must be used to keeping odd hours. Lucia was making a grocery list, and they appeared to be discussing what the best things would be to feed Yuui for the next few days. Kurogane didn't want to interrupt, and turned back around to go wait in the sitting room, but Fai looked up at him and beckoned him in.
"We can finish in the morning, Lucia. It's getting late, you may retire."
Surprisingly enough, she got up on her tiptoes and they kissed each other on the cheek before she slipped out past Kurogane.
"So what's her story?"
"Lucia? Her family served Ashura's household for generations. She was a companion of mine during the time I served him, and she asked to remain with me when Ashura chose to end his existence."
"She's that old? You feed from her?"
Fai nodded. "Just often enough to ensure that she is given the protection of being my prey. It's valuable to me to have someone to whom I do not need to explain anything."
"What does she get out of it?"
Fai shrugged, smiling wistfully. "She's a dear friend. She says she likes simply having a purpose. I will let her go and allow her to grow old and pass away whenever she asks me, but she hasn't yet." He tipped his head slightly. "I need to apologize to you."
"Yeah, me too," Kurogane mumbled.
"The truth of the matter is that I do feel very protective about you, Kurogane. You should never have been left alone as a youth, and I worry that your inexperience will harm you when we travel back to my family. I'm afraid I let my pride get in the way. In my arrogance, I was disrespectful. It was not my intention."
Kurogane didn't know how to respond to that but with the truth. "Well, it was mine, I guess. And that was pride talking on my part, too. Obviously you've got more experience than I do with this stuff, and I ought to be giving you more credit."
"You really ought," Fai said with a sudden, bright smile, and Kurogane blinked because it made him and Yuui look even more alike. "But then I should probably give you more, as well. You don't know how impossibly strong you are, to be the person Kusanagi has told me you are. I am utterly shocked that you have never killed a prey before."
And Kurogane was similarly surprised that Fai had once been a ruthless killer. He had a bit of a temper on him, but there was not even a hint that he took pleasure in violence.
"Well, I've killed a few times. There was this rapist . . . Eh, it's not important," he muttered. "I've never killed anyone that I took as prey. It helps if your only friend is an eleven-year-old girl. You try explaining why you killed someone to a little kid."
Fai gaped at him.
"What?"
Fai wasn't laughing, but then he wasn't breathing at all. His lips twitched suspiciously.
"What."
"You must tell me more about this girl," Fai finally managed.
"You're making fun of me, but she was terrifying, okay."
"I see."
"See for yourself," Kurogane snapped, and held out his hand. It was the nicest invitation Fai was going to get, so he'd better take it. Kurogane wasn't going to offer again.
He mostly wondered if this would even work. He hadn't really been thinking about his father, last time, not on purpose. He'd just been thinking about how he'd gotten into this whole mess, and the real answer there was that he'd gotten made into a vampire instead of getting killed. So now, he consciously brought up a memory of Tomoyo and wondered whether or not Fai would be able to see it.
Fai was so surprised that he just stared at Kurogane's hand for a minute, but then he pressed their palms together tightly and closed his eyes.
No spark this time. Just a strange warmth.
The dress is the same plain shapeless thing worn by all the girls at Wicklow's, but Tomoyo has managed, through a frightening level of resourcefulness, to turn it into something pretty. Where she got the materials is a mystery, but she's managed to craft a new neckline and add fancy buttons and a fall of lace at the wrists.
When a girl is twelve, Tomoyo says, she just wants to feel pretty. She always had such nice dresses as a little girl, before they lost everything, so it's not hard to sense that the modifications to the ugly garment are a desperate effort to regroup. Talking about it won't help, so you don't. You light the lantern instead, to draw her close. You don't need it anymore, you can see in the dark, but she moves close to the light and therefore close to you. It's an excuse to pat her clumsily on the arm, which is all the comfort you can offer. Useless.
"Are you ready?" she asks.
"Yeah." You bring out the book hidden under the bench. It's meant for small children, which is why you'd rather not carry it around. "I've been practicing with flyers in shop windows."
Her smile is the only sweet thing you know. You live the rest of your life in the dark, now. In hiding. The glow of this lantern and the glow of her fond smile is all you have. And so even though she could get caught, and punished by the staff of Wicklow's Home for Girls, you still come here at night and wait for her to sneak out and come spend an hour teaching you to read when she ought to be sleeping.
"You look so pale," she murmurs.
"Don't go out in the sun much now. And I haven't . . . you know. Much."
"You're thirsty?"
It's still more than you can bear, to talk about your craving for human blood with her. You turn your face away, and try as always to ignore your rough throat and pinched chest.
"I have to be careful. I can't have a rumour going around about the mad blood drinking monster who hunts the streets at night."
She giggles, the sound of water droplets tinkling on glass. "It's a strange monster indeed that would steal blood but leave the victim alive to tell the tale. I can imagine how the rumour would spread." Her face suddenly goes shrewd and serious. "You do, don't you?"
How would you ever manage to kill someone, knowing you'd come back here for a reading lesson and look into her face and have to say that you don't leave them alive after all? She'd know if you were lying. Your own principles won't let you, but the bloodthirst is sometimes so overwhelming . . . No, it's the terrifying thought of her reaction that keeps your victims safe.
"Good." She leans against you comfortably and holds the book out so you can both see it. "Where were we?"
Fai was smiling when Kurogane looked up, and he was silenced by what a shatteringly lovely thing it was when Fai offered up a smile that looked like it was borne of hearbreak. Fai still had their hands pressed together.
"I think it will take me years to understand who you are."
"Nobody asked you to," Kurogane muttered.
"How did you befriend her?"
"She was my neighbour growing up. She's the only actual survivor of the attack on our town, cause I don't really count."
"And you remained friends?"
"All her life," Kurogane confirmed, wanting nothing more than to have this over and done with. He'd proved that Fai could access his memories and that was all he'd been hoping to accomplish. He didn't want to share all the intimate little details of his friendship with Tomoyo. It wasn't exactly the sort of thing you talked about with someone you wanted to take you seriously.
Their hands were still touching, and Fai gave no warning.
"—my particular friend, Sakura!" Tomoyo's voice is so warm and fond that you immediately look away from the girl she's pointing at to look at her. There's a light in her eyes that isn't friendship, you don't think, but you're not going to question her.
You're not officially meeting Sakura, just having her pointed out to you so you'll have a face to go with the name Tomoyo hasn't stopped saying in months. You can't do things like get introduced to her friends. Tomoyo is an orphaned teenager and her precarious reputation can't afford you. A disreputable older guy hanging around all the time? They'd probably toss her out of Wicklow's on her ear.
"You know her from school?"
"Yes. She works so hard at her studies, I truly admire her!"
Tomoyo's practically swooning. She might want to start making it less obvious if she doesn't want anybody to know exactly how particular her friendship with Sakura is.
"And that is her charming fiance, Syaoran. Their engagement is still a secret, because they're still too young and Sakura's brother would never approve, but I just know it will work out! They love each other so."
You abruptly wish you could kill the guy and leave Sakura free for her, as if it worked like that. There's never much you can give her to make up for everything she lost, and you wish you could give her happiness with this girl.
"And that is Sakura's older brother, a true gentleman, Touya. His bosom companion is named Yukito, oh, there he is—"
Fai flung his hand away like it burned, and Kurogane realized that Fai had actually been trying to break the connection for a good minute or so. Was it that hard to break, or had Kurogane been somehow keeping hold of him without knowing it?
"Is this some kind of joke?" Fai asked, eyes wide.
"What?"
"His bosom companion Yukito? Do you have any idea who that was?"
"If you mean did I know he was a vampire, then yeah. I knew right away; I smelled it on him. I never went near him or spoke to him. But later Touya told me all about it. He was Yukito's prey. The guy just vanished one day without saying a word. Broke everybody's hearts. I always figured he just got bored or something. Why—you know him?"
Fai was shaking his head in disbelief and unleashed a string of nonsense that sounded to Kurogane's experienced ears like profanity. "I find this very hard to believe, but I suppose I must. That vampire's true name is Yue. And he did vanish one day. He was killed. No one knows how. We knew he was gone because the connection he shared with my mother was destroyed."
"Connection?"
"He was her brother. Another child of Clow Reed. Your friend Touya was feeding one of the most powerful vampires in the world. How in hell did you manage to be one of the last people to see him alive?!" Fai cried out, throwing his hands into the air dramatically.
"It's not like I did it on purpose," Kurogane snorted.
Fai abruptly abandoned his little fit and began to laugh. "You are the most impossible . . . I have never . . ." He shook his head and laughed like a lunatic. Kurogane just stood there with no clue how he'd caused it or how he was supposed to stop it. Fai was clearly insane.
"Come," he said finally, gesturing for Kurogane's hand with his own outstretched. "Let us look in there again and see what we can find. I need to see what you might know without even being aware of it."
Kurogane took a step back. "No. I mean. Not right now. You can't just walk around in my fucking head whenever you want. It's my head. It's not a jungle gym. And I don't know if I really like you enough to share all my fucking memories with you anyway. In case you hadn't noticed, they're personal."
Fai's face softened. "I understand. But—"
"I don't get what you're doing or how you do it or anything," Kurogane interrupted. "Pardon me if I'm not that happy about it. I mean, aren't you supposed to see people's dreams and futures? How are you getting my past?"
Fai nodded slowly, and Kurogane could see for just a second that he, too, was deeply troubled by all this. "You'd be surprised at how often your past is part of your future," he murmured, his index finger pressed to his lip. "But I will admit that I don't know how I am able to do this with you. It shouldn't be possible. The closest thing I have for comparison is my bond with Suu, and that took practice and doesn't run as deep."
Kurogane glowered at him. "And you're surprised that I don't want you experimenting with it on me?"
Fai shrugged. "I cannot blame you for that. But the fact remains that Yue's death is a mystery we had begun to despair of solving, and you have knowledge that we do not. If you are willing to tell me what you know, in as much detail as possible, then I will try to content myself with that. But I hope I can convince you to trust me, so that I can see it for myself."
Kurogane crossed his arms and was silent. Fai was going to have to do better than hope.
"Would it make you feel any more at ease, if you saw what my power looks like being used on someone else? When I dream with a human?"
Kurogane was reminded that he already knew someone who could tell him what it was like. "That sounds like a pretty private thing for some human to be letting me watch."
Fai's hopeful little smile slipped.
"So it's a good thing he's a total exhibitionist. Let me watch you do it to Shizuka."
She smelled exactly like she tasted. Sunlight and blooming flowers and a subtle hint of vanilla, the whole thing. It was horrible.
And her hair. Kurogane was going to have actual, serious words with Shizuka about her hair.
"You must be Kurogane," she said, tipping her head to the side and offering him what had to be the sweetest smile he'd seen since Tomoyo died. "It's so nice to meet you!"
"Yeah."
"He's told me all about you, and I was hoping we'd get to meet each other sometime."
"You did?" Kurogane was taken aback by that. Wasn't it kind of weird to be interested in meeting somebody's other lover? Kurogane himself was well-used to the idea that Shizuka was dating and having sex with other people, but it seemed like the sort of thing you were supposed to get jealous and upset about.
"Of course!" she said, undeterred. "Since Shizuka likes you so much, I knew I would, too."
"It doesn't bother you at all that I'm undead and drink his blood."
"Don't be silly! You can't help what you are, of course, and Shizuka's told me how nice you are."
"I am not nice."
"Told you that'd just embarrass him," Shizuka smirked, the first words out of him since he and Himawari had walked through the front door.
"I suppose the idea of vampires scared me when I was little, but after I started dreaming, I figured out that I'm meant to be with a vampire myself," Himawari said, leaning toward him like she was taking him into her confidence. "I've done my best to learn anything I can, so I'm ready for it. I've realized there's nothing to be afraid of. And you just seem so trustworthy, Kurogane!"
Simple. The girl had to be simple-minded, it was the only explanation. How could anyone be so irrationally cheerful in this situation? Kurogane cast a suspicious look at Shizuka and was flabbergasted by the fond, almost proud look on his face. This was not the type of girl Kurogane had expected.
"It's funny. His heart doesn't even beat, yet somehow he still gives you the impression that he's about to have a heart attack."
Kurogane made a swipe for Shizuka's head, but he ducked and Kurogane lost interest in the blow halfway through. His arm ended up settling over Shizuka's shoulder and he leaned close to his ear.
"Is she insane?" he muttered.
"If you act jealous I'm going to ruin your chances with Yuui," Shizuka muttered back.
Kurogane ground his teeth. He was going to enthrall this guy and his principles be damned. Nobody should have this much sass in them. It couldn't be healthy.
Himawari was smiling at them like she'd never seen anything more wonderful than her boyfriend in the arms of his homosexual lover. She was insane at the very least, and probably simple on top of it. But still, she was kind of cute and she apparently made Shizuka happy, so he should probably just get over it.
"I'm really looking forward to meeting Fai, too. Shizuka says he might be able to help me understand my dreams better. He said you'll be coming along, too?"
"Yeah," Kurogane said. "I really want to know how this dreaming thing works, and it's starting to look like what you guys are dreaming about might be important anyway. I mean, as long as it's okay with you. I don't know what he told you, but Fai's gonna be messing around in your head, and you don't really know me, either."
"I'm fine with it as long as Shizuka's there," she said, her smile finally fading to something merely polite. "I don't really have anything to hide."
"She's a little nervous," Shizuka said, and ducked away from Kurogane to go over to her and take her hand and twine their fingers together. "But there's nothing to worry about. Fai's abilities aren't harmful, and there's nobody involved I don't trust."
"And I trust you," she said softly.
"Well, we might as well head over there," Kurogane said, averting his eyes before they started making out or something. "Best to just get it over with."
"We're driving."
Kurogane bared his teeth unhappily before thinking that maybe it would scare Himawari. He'd rather just run, and he'd probably get there faster. Himawari's eyes were wide and fixed on his fangs, and Kurogane clamped his mouth shut quickly.
"Uh, sorry."
"I should probably get used to that kind of thing!" she said with a nervous laugh. "I'm ready to go whenever you are, boys."
So they piled into the car and drove to Fai's. Kurogane knocked perfunctorily but let them all in without waiting for Lucia to answer the door. They were already expected, and he'd been coming in and out of this house non-stop for the past three days already.
"Ah, there you are," Fai said, coming to meet them from the direction of the kitchen. "Kurogane, I hear I missed your last visit."
Kurogane heard the hard note in his voice and tried to think of something to say about that. He'd come by this morning because he had a couple of questions about lineage, like wondering whether or not Yue had any surviving children, but Fai hadn't been here. He'd been out hunting to let off some steam. Somehow Yuui had talked Kurogane into staying. They hadn't been doing anything, just watching television (Kurogane still didn't see the appeal, no matter how Yuui insisted it was fun), but Yuui had draped himself onto Kurogane like he wanted Kurogane to lose control over his scent and drink from him. Yuui had told him a few stories about the places he'd been to in Africa, and Kurogane had mostly just let him talk.
Yuui must have told Fai about it. Kurogane felt absurdly guilty about it, like he had gone behind Fai's back. Yuui was a grown man and was obviously capable of deciding who he wanted to spend time with. And they'd just been watching television, with Kurogane's hands very carefully at his sides and nowhere else. But it still felt like he was having an affair or something. Which was ridiculous because technically it was Shizuka he was cheating on, and Shizuka didn't care at all.
"Ah, yeah, I'd actually wanted to talk to you. But it wasn't anything urgent, so we can deal with it later."
"Indeed," Fai said. And that was all he said to Kurogane. He turned instead to the humans. "Welcome. Thank you for coming, Shizuka. This must be Himawari!"
"Yeah. Himawari, this is Fai, the one who's going to guide our dreams."
Fai crossed the room to pick up her hand and kiss it. "Enchante, ma belle, et bienvenue."
She giggled and dipped into a little curtsy. "Ah, je suis très heurese de vous recontrer!"
"Parlez vous français?" Fai looked completely delighted and was still holding her hand. Well, at least he wasn't getting all pissy with Kurogane anymore. Kurogane let the two of them chatter away like monkeys for a minute before he looked at Shizuka pointedly. Shizuka rolled his eyes in return, but he obediently cleared his throat.
"Ah, we are being rude to these two gentlemen," Fai said, giving her hand a squeeze before letting her go. "Let us stick with a language we all know."
"Sorry," Himawari laughed, returning to Shizuka's side and slipping her arm into his. "I don't get much opportunity to speak French since I did my semester abroad."
"Sounds pretty," Shizuka assured her in his usual extremely brief way. "So, how are we going to do this, anyway? I'm not going to be tired enough to sleep for hours yet."
"The old fashioned way, of course!" came another voice from the kitchen, and Yuui poked his head out. "Give you heavy food and good wine until you cannot keep your eyes open anymore!"
"You are not in there cooking," Kurogane said, immediately striding into the kitchen and finding that Yuui was doing exactly that, an apron protecting his clothes. He was making some kind of potato pie, and there was a bottle of red wine already decanting on the table. "Are you stupid? You nearly died of blood loss two days ago!"
Yuui waved his hand dismissively. "You sound just like my brother. Two days is a long time."
"You're about to try to convince me you don't have a massive headache and shaking knees, and I am not going to believe you," Kurogane said, giving Yuui's knees a pointed look.
"Calm down," he said, still dismissive. "I'm nearly finished with preparations, and then I just pop this in the oven and wait. My head doesn't hurt that—"
Kurogane was able to literally watch the blood recede from his face, and the dizzy spell hit him so abruptly that he looked more comically surprised than anything. Kurogane caught him before he fell.
"You. Are. So. Stupid."
Fai was hovering in the doorway, mouth locked in a frown.
"My head does rather hurt," he admitted. "You really must stop rescuing me so dramatically or I will begin to get ideas, Kurogane."
"You keep saving all your swooning for him, and it will be me getting ideas," Fai said darkly.
"Let's save any unpleasantness for when I do not feel quite so much like someone is hammering on my skull. While underwater."
Kurogane put Yuui down in a chair at the table, where he immediately put his head on his forearms. "Can someone please get me a glass of water?"
Fai rushed to do so. "There's more of the beef broth in the refrigerator, if you'd be good enough to warm it up," he said to Kurogane.
Kurogane quickly located it and got it heating in a pan on the stove. Fai had Yuui leaning back against him as he drank his water.
Himawari and Shizuka had wandered in by this point, and Himawari immediately started looking at Yuui's abandoned meal preparations.
"Is this potatoes au gratin? You're making it with ham?"
Yuui had his eyes screwed shut, but he turned his face in Himawari's direction and spoke with a note of hope. "You know how to make it? You could finish it for me."
"Um. I'd love to, but. Well."
"She can't boil a pan of water without burning it," Shizuka said flatly.
Kurogane rolled his eyes. "I'll finish it if you tell me how."
Fai and Yuui were both giving him doubtful looks.
"He's not that bad of a cook," Shizuka said.
"By which you mean 'better than you' which isn't exactly hard."
Since Fai did not technically need to breathe, his long-suffering sigh was purely for dramatic effect. "I will finish the cooking. Yuui, you are . . . You salaud."
Kurogane poured the warm broth into a mug and brought it to the table so Fai could take over at the stove. "I don't know what a salaud is, but if you don't drink this I'm gonna shove it down your throat. And you're eating some of whatever you're cooking."
Yuui opened his mouth.
"No, shut up."
Yuui sheepishly lifted the mug of broth to his lips and kept quiet. Shizuka and Himawari joined them at the table and Kurogane took over the responsibility of pouring them some of the wine that was waiting.
"Himawari," Fai said over his shoulder. "Please do tell me more about yourself. Do you study French at the university?"
"Only for fun," she answered. "I'm actually studying business management. Although Shizuka and I met in a class on the philosophy of death and dying."
"There's a class on that?" Kurogane asked in disbelief.
"Mmm," Himawari confirmed, her mouth occupied with sloshing her first sip of wine around her mouth. "Oooo, that's lovely, I can taste the blackberries."
"You three should come in and give a guest lecture," Shizuka said, taking a long drink of his own wine after sniffing it carefully. "I think that would be enlightening."
Yuui chuckled, holding his mug close to face and wrapping his hands around it to soak in the warmth. He was far from being fully recovered, and Kurogane would bet his hands were freezing. At least he had the good sense to be wearing a warm shirt.
"I can't even imagine the uproar that would cause among our kind," Fai snickered, and slid the casserole dish into the oven. "There. Himawari, how long ago did you study abroad?"
They chatted about inconsequentials while waiting for the food to cook, mostly about Shizuka and Himawari's schooling. After Fai had retrieved the food and ensured a dish was in front of Yuui as well as the two guests, he moved the topic to slightly more urgent matters.
"Now, then, tell me a bit about the dreams you've had."
"I've been having them since I was a teenager," she said, setting her fork down after only a few bites. She'd better watch it, Shizuka would move in on her plate once he got done with his, which didn't seem like it would take him long. "I've had a few dreams of things I shouldn't know . . . I knew my mother would die for nearly two years before she actually passed away. I knew what university I would go to before I started filling out applications. But the dreams I think you're interested in . . . they're harder to explain. It's mostly darkness, and it's more impressions I get than images or anything. It's . . . there's a lot of blackness, and I just know that somewhere out there, someone is drowning. That's what it feels like. Like I'm seeing someone drown and I'm reaching out to help them but they're facing away from me and they can't see me at all. I can hear . . . It's not like really hearing. But I know how lonely and scared they feel, like they're crying somehow."
"You also dreamed of Doumeki, did you not?"
"In a way. I kept dreaming of a hand reaching up out of the darkness, the drowning one reaching up for help, and I'd see another hand reaching down. I always see their fingers brushing together, and then I wake up. And when your whole dream is just someone's hand, you get to know the hand pretty well."
Shizuka actually paused eating long enough to splay one of his hands out on top of the table. Himawari placed her own over his and smiled at him.
"I knew it was him as soon as I saw him taking notes a few seats away."
"And so you thought you'd just go up to him and tell him you'd been having crazy dreams about his hand?" Kurogane asked her. Well, it was Shizuka, it would hardly phase him, but she wouldn't have known that at the time.
"He'd been watching me the whole period. I just assumed he'd dreamed of me, too. And he had! So we compared notes, and we decided we're both dreaming and aiming toward the same person—the same vampire, to be more precise. And we decided we're happier waiting for him together."
It was disturbingly cute. Kurogane didn't really like the smell of food or anything, but he almost wished he had some, just so he'd have a plate to focus on and not have to look at the two of them being all soft-eyed at one another.
"You haven't thus far seen or heard anything that would give you an idea of the identity of this vampire, have you?" Fai asked.
"Fai might know who it is already, if you have any idea what they look like or sound like," Yuui said through a mouthful of potatoes.
"No," Himawari said reluctantly, after a moment of thought. "I always get the impression of dark hair, but that's all so far. We really did think it might be Kurogane at first, but it isn't."
"No, it isn't," Fai agreed.
Good
Kurogane jerked in surprise. He wasn't entirely certain that had been his thought in his head. He and Himawari were not exactly destined to be together for all eternity, and he was pretty thankful she wasn't dreaming of him, but the dry edge of the passing thought seemed foreign. He cast a wide-eyed look at Fai, but Fai was looking at Himawari and didn't notice.
"Well, it's something to go on, anyway," Yuui said encouragingly. He was actually attempting to eat, although his forehead was furrowed up with pain. "Fai, you ought to be able to get pretty far since you at least know what you're looking for."
"I hope so."
"We brought sleeping pills in case we needed them, but I don't think we'll have to take them," Shizuka said. "This wine is incredible."
"Lush," Kurogane said, an old joke between them.
"You drink way more than I do," Shizuka answered easily.
Himawari giggled, and Fai was looking at them like a proud grandfather or something. It looked completely ridiculous on his unlined, youthful face. Kurogane really hoped he got the chance to drink from Shizuka a bit before the wine faded from his system. Whatever he'd been drinking with Himawari last night had been decent enough, but the smell of this one was promising.
"Yuui, did you want some, before we end up finishing the whole bottle?"
Yuui perked up.
"He doesn't need alcohol right now," Fai said repressively, before Kurogane could.
But Yuui's pout was so outrageous that Fai caved in and let him. He toasted the other two humans and the three of them quickly polished off what remained of the wine. Then Fai led them down the hall and into an unused bedroom that Kurogane hadn't seen before. He knew Lucia was in the bedroom closest to the kitchen, and he hadn't even know there was another room behind the door across from hers.
"Hey, where's the housekeeper?" he asked when he realized he hadn't seen Lucia yet.
"She went to Kusanagi's home, actually. She is spending some time with Yuzuriha and helping her feel as though she has a friend here. And probably also cleaning their house from floor to ceiling, knowing her."
Fai then turned his attention to ensuring that Shizuka and Himawari were situated on the bed, which was just barely big enough for the both of them. Fai was gentle and full of humour as he directed them to lie down and get comfortable, well-practiced in his role as their dream guide. Some vampire was a lucky guy, Kurogane couldn't help but think, seeing them together with Himawari's hair spilling over the pillow. They were a beautiful pair.
Yuui was a warm weight leaning against Kurogane's back, watching his twin work. He was acting like the wine had gotten to him, but Kurogane suspected he was using it as an excuse to drape himself like a living accessory on Kurogane's shoulder. At least he was quiet.
Fai's lilting voice soothed the two humans, speaking in a hypnotic rhythm and driving them down into sleep. Once he was sure they were under, he stood up.
"Come, we have a while to wait before they begin to dream. Let's retire to the other room where we won't chance rousing them."
They obediently trailed him back out to the sitting room, and the twins sat together on the sofa while Kurogane took a chair.
"Now then," Fai said, voice forcedly pleasant. "Shall we take this opportunity to discuss the rather enormous elephant in the room?"
None of them were going to play the fool enough to pretend they didn't know what he meant. Kurogane looked at Yuui and so did Fai. Yuui grimaced at them.
"Must we do this before I am recovered?"
"It's probably the only chance we're going to get before the consequences of executing Kyle begin to take effect."
"True."
"So, here is my question: are you doing this simply because it amuses you to get Kurogane flustered, or are you trying to punish me for hurting you?"
Yuui's face when he turned to look at Kurogane was miserable. "Neither."
"I was afraid of that," Fai murmured.
"So what the hell does that mean?"
Yuui was very quiet.
"Look, do we even need to talk about this?" Kurogane asked. "The two of you have—whatever it is you have, and it's fine if that's the way you are, so that's the end of it."
Silence.
"Isn't it?"
"Yuui?" Fai asked in a tight, harsh voice.
"Fucking hell," Kurogane muttered.
"Does it mean I love you any less, Fai?" Yuui asked in a soft, small voice. "If I were to say 'yes, I am falling madly for him' does that have to mean I no longer want to be with you?"
"You can't be with both of us," Kurogane pointed out when Fai didn't answer the question.
"Why not?" Yuui asked.
"Why not," Kurogane choked.
"Well?" Yuui demanded, sounding angry. "Are we not meeting tonight to help that couple in the spare bedroom find the vampire they're going to join together? And suddenly we are squeamish about the idea that three people can be together simply because we are talking about ourselves instead of someone else? Fai, you've never had the slightest problem with Suu and Ora and Kazuhiko—"
"It's different because it's you!" Fai snapped. "Because— because you are my—"
"I am not asking to leave your side," Yuui said, taking Fai's hand and caressing it. "I don't want that."
"Then what do you want?" Kurogane asked.
"For you to join me there," Yuui said plainly. "Please, we've all lived long enough that we don't need to play games about this. I want both of you. That's all."
Fai and Kurogane had been trying to avoid making eye contact, but suddenly it seemed inevitable and they stared each other down.
I want him to be happy
Kurogane wasn't sure which of them thought it, but it didn't seem important just then to try to sort it out. Could they actually share Yuui, without killing him or each other in the process? Did Yuui even understand he was asking Fai, a prince, to grant the most incredible favour he possessed to someone who was essentially a bastard? Well, he wasn't stupid, so of course he knew.
"Kurogane, come here," Fai said.
Instead of bristling at being ordered, Kurogane did, and Yuui shifted over so that he could sit between his old lover and the one he hoped to gain. He held both of them by the hand.
"My brother has remained at my side for over a hundred years," Fai said slowly. "He lets me drink his blood and tie him to my eternal life, simply because he knows I couldn't do this without him. He could have chosen to let his life end a long time ago, but he stays with me. He puts up with the politics of my kind and my strange whims and the midnight visitors whom I lie down and dream with. He does not ever ask me for anything."
"Fai, you know I—"
"Let me say what I wish to say," Fai said, squeezing Yuui's hand.
Kurogane was staring down at Yuui's hand clasped over his own like it was completely foreign in concept. He could not get his mind to wrap around this conversation, and never mind that he'd technically been participating in a ménage a trois already for a couple of weeks now. This was more than just an accident of who he was feeding from. This was a request to step into their world and become embroiled in Fai's family drama. To involve himself. The thing he had always tried so hard to never do.
Was this hand worth it?
"Kurogane, if you can make Yuui happy that I will not object to this. I know you and I are not— ready to trust each other yet. But I will try. For Yuui, I will try."
Yuui's hand squeezed around his more and more desperately as the silence stretched. Kurogane had to remind himself how to inflate his lungs.
"I don't know why I'd even want this," he said. "I think you're an idiot and you drive me crazy and you don't stop talking even when you're in the middle of passing out."
Yuui's face drew tight with surprise and hurt.
"So I guess that means I'm an idiot too," he muttered, and brushed his thumb over the back of Yuui's hand.
Yuui gasped, and pressed both of their hands to his mouth to kiss them, and while they were all three joined in touch for a moment, a warm current of affection flooded through Kurogane. He didn't know where it originated. For that moment, all three of them loved each other desperately. It lasted one of Yuui's heartbeats and then he lowered their hands and it was over. Kurogane felt hollowed out when it was gone.
Fai kept acting like he was going to say something but not doing it. Just when Kurogane was about to snap at him and tell him to just spit it out already, he finally spoke.
"We will have to explore what this will mean for us another time. I have work to do with our guests."
Fai stood up and headed for the bedroom. That left Yuui and Kurogane still sitting there together on the sofa for a moment. Doubtless that was Fai's intention.
"This is crazy. You know that, right?"
Yuui turned and kissed him.
Kurogane wasted a good couple of seconds being in total shock before he could make his mouth respond. It was a terrible kiss, honestly. The angle was awkward and Kurogane was still faintly disbelieving of the whole thing and they had no familiarity with each other's bodies. But Kurogane put his hand on Yuui's jaw and turned him to make the angle better, and they kept at it until he was certain it was really happening.
"It doesn't have to be like that if you're not interested," Yuui said, pulling his head back suddenly. "I of all people do know that vampires do not strictly—"
"You think that's how I kiss when I'm not interested?"
"I only meant—"
"You're totally a salaud, whatever the hell that is." Kurogane dragged him back in to resume the kiss. Just because he wasn't aroused didn't mean he wasn't enjoying it. He dug his fingers into Yuui's shoulders and scented along his neck, his nose and mouth dragging over the sensitive skin. He caught his mouth again and kissed Yuui long enough to make his point, then pushed him away with a hand to his chest. "Now come on, I want to see about this dreaming stuff. We can save this for when you're a little less of a walking disaster."
Yuui laughed delightedly. "You will be waiting an awfully long time for that."
"I'm beginning to realize," Kurogane muttered, and hauled Yuui to his feet.
Fai was sitting on the bed when they came in. He had Shizuka's head in his lap and his palms pressed to his temples. His eyes were closed, but he opened them long enough to look at Kurogane.
"Come put your hands over mine," he said calmly. "After what we've already been able to do with each other, I feel that you might be able to see what I am seeing."
The bed was rather full. Kurogane had to sit behind Fai to do it, wrapping his arms around him in an intimate embrace. It was a terribly awkward thing, but after only a moment, Kurogane's stiffness melted away. This didn't feel strange at all, it felt good. It wasn't the craving that he had for Yuui, the desire to open him up and to taste him, but it wasn't indifference either. Their minds seemed meant to work in tandem. Kurogane felt Fai relax with his back against Kurogane's chest. He felt it, too. They were good like this.
Maybe this whole thing with the three of them could work, he thought, and then he went under.
Silent static
Not darkness nor whiteness nor anything
Drifting in a nothingness
Someone else is here
Find them
Find them and help them
Nobody should be so afraid and so alone
Push at static with your bare hands
Where is he?
Save him before he drowns
Who will get us out?
Where is. . . There
Himawari
So blindingly bright against the nothing
She's looking at him
Can't see him
Can't see what she sees
Fai broke the link and lifted their hands away from Shizuka's head. "It's not quite what I saw before," he said. "It's gaining shape. It didn't have a form before at all, but now it's like . . . Like . . ."
"Like he's looking in a certain direction," Kurogane supplied.
"Yes, that exactly. But which direction?" Fai asked in frustration.
"Maybe she knows," Kurogane said. Fai was so fully in his arms that he didn't even have to gesture, Fai could simply feel his attention focus on Himawari.
Fai slid his hands over Himawari's temples, and Kurogane didn't even bother adding his own hands. He just rested his chin on Fai's shoulder and waited.
Nothingness like a stormy sky
Nothingness like ocean waves
Choppy dark nothing
He's so sad
Where is he?
Can't stand how lonely he is
Both of them
So alone
Go to them
They need each other
Need all three of us
Their hands always reach out but never catch
Wonderful hands
Kurogane felt Fai leading them onward, further than Himawari knew how to go. He was following the feeling of loss. He was tracking and hunting and honing in on that keening emptiness. The hand rising above choppy waves of absolute zero.
There
Oh there you are
We came for you
We promised
Take my hand
Turn around
We're here
Blue eyes
So beautiful such blue eyes so beautiful there you are my love
Come home to us
Take his hand he loves you
Fai pulled away his hands. He flung them out of Himawari's mind with violence. His hand found Kurogane's arm and gripped it tight. He did not speak. He did not even breathe. He was silent and rigid until Yuui came and laid his hand gently on top of Fai's and tried to loosen his grip on Kurogane.
"Fai. Did you see him? Do you recognize him?"
Fai pressed Yuui's hand to his cheek and made no movement to escape the cage of Kurogane's arms. "Oh," he whispered.
"Did you see him?" Yuui asked Kurogane desperately.
"Yeah. I think . . . I mean I don't know, but it seemed like I should know him . . ."
"It's Kimihiro," Fai finally said. "These two have been dreaming for years of my brother Kimihiro." His hand touched Shizuka's hair softly. "They're going to save him."
They deposited Yuui into bed, but Fai didn't seem intent on joining him. He was restless and troubled, and so was Kurogane. They both needed to relax and regroup. They were just standing over the bed staring down at Yuui as he slept and wishing they could join him.
"Hey. Let's go hunting," Kurogane said abruptly.
Fai looked up, and in the dark Kurogane saw his pupils growing. "Oh, let's do,' he nearly purred.
They were out the back door and tearing over the silent streets in an instant. Fai was leaping over cars just for the pure hell of it, but Kurogane was leading, taking him toward the edge of the city where they could find his favourite hunting ground. They weren't running flat-out, not as fast as they could. They would save that for the hunt.
Kurogane led them to a thin patch of forest outside of town. Their running and their predator scent disturbed the wildlife and they gave chase. The night air was cool and the moon was high. There was a buzzing in their veins. Fai laughed in pleasure, and Kurogane followed suit.
They were made for this.
They hunted quick, bright shadows through the trees. They moved too fast to be seen. They did not tire. They moved together like they were one being. They were gods.
They let go everything they caught, not needing to kill when they were so flush with pride at their success. And when the sky greyed and then pinked at the edges and everything drew a coating of dew over itself like a sparkling shawl, they withdrew. They returned to the house just at dawn.
Kurogane collapsed into a kitchen chair and felt heavy with satisfaction. He was relaxed and easy for the first time in days, and he watched Fai land beside him and knew the other vampire felt the same. They were both damp and dirty and entirely too happy to care. Fai had moss stuck in his hair, though, so Kurogane reached out and started untangling the mess.
Fai sat still until he was done, but when Kurogane got up to find a garbage bin, Fai got up and pressed close to him the second he turned around.
"I think we just went on a date," he said.
Kurogane was very still as he tried to work out why Fai was three inches away from him. Kurogane had just wanted to get them both out of the house and help them wind down while the humans slept, and he'd guessed that Fai would enjoy hunting as much as he would.
So maybe it was sort of a date. If you squinted at it. And had suddenly gone mad. Perhaps Fai had suddenly gone mad.
"You've been a surprise at every turn from the moment I met you," Fai said, voice hushed. His hair took on a strange gleam in the hint of light coming through the kitchen curtains. "And the worst part of it is that I don't even mind it. You and I have a bond I've never had before. Yuui has never looked at anyone else twice in all this time, but suddenly he wants you and I find myself agreeing to it. It's like you were supposed to be here all along."
Kurogane had slowly backed up against the kitchen counter, and felt it press against his back. He hadn't liked any of this from the beginning. He didn't like how good Yuui smelled and how funny his dumb jokes somehow were. He didn't like how easy it was to link his mind to Fai's and how natural it felt when they connected. He didn't like how seamlessly he fit in here. Except that he did.
Fai pressed a kiss to his lips. "If Yuui hadn't asked you to stay I think I would have," he murmured, and remained there, laying against Kurogane's chest and pressing their cheeks and jaws together.
The hunt had helped, but he was frightened and worried. Kurogane could feel it. He put his arms around Fai. He'd never been kissed by another vampire before. It wasn't desire, it was more like seeking or maybe granting comfort. Kurogane didn't mind which.
They stayed in their embrace for quite some time. Kurogane hadn't done this before. Just stood in someone's arms, held them in his like this. He didn't have this kind of bond with his prey. He didn't have anyone to do this with. He would never have allowed this kind of intimacy with his family. It made his skin ache to have it, longing for more of it even as it was given to him.
Fai seemed to feel it. He murmured something unintelligible and brushed his lips along Kurogane's jaw, seeking his mouth and kissing him again. He shifted as if hoping to somehow make their intertwining even more intimate. Kurogane already had his arms around Fai, and now he let his head fall onto his shoulder. Fai's fingers crept through his hair.
"I want your help," he said. Enough time had passed that the light around them was golden and sharp.
"With what?"
"Trying to remember who made me."
"Oh."
"We're about to go meet with a bunch of them, and one of them might be my maker and I'd never even know."
"Wouldn't that be embarrassing?" Fai murmured. "All right, I'll help you. We might as well. The others won't wake for some time yet."
"Let's just do it here," Kurogane mumbled, unwilling to end their embrace, and dragged up the memory of his father again.
He is screaming a wordless battle cry. He is turning his head toward the door. He is shouting at the youth. He is wielding that broken chair with surprising skill.
Kurogane drew away from the memory. "Huh. Something's weird."
"What is?"
"Nothing."
The youth runs through the door. He is outside, in the yard. He is standing over the other youth who lies dead there, tossed aside like a blood-soaked rag doll, a pair of glasses cracked and hanging off his face and reflecting the blazing fire of the burning homes.
"Eriol, no."
Kurogane pulled away again, grimacing. "That's Tomoyo's brother. He was an ass and lorded it over me because I didn't know how to read, but he did a good job of taking care of his mother and sister so I didn't kick his ass. Something's weird about this. I keep seeing myself. Why am I in my own memory?"
Fai was frowning. "I don't know. I don't see you. I just see the other boy. Eriol. Do you want to stop?"
"No."
Coming out of the house. The youth kicks down the burning door, the girl's arms and legs wrapped around him tight. They are coughing from smoke. His eyes are looking at the desolate inferno that was a small community before tonight. He is grim and running for the horse paddock.
"Hey, hush, there's my boy, come on, shh shh shh."
The soothing words spoken to the horse with rolling eyes and stamping feet are surprising. Murmured comfort rolls off his tongue as though the horse's terror is more important than his own. The youth has an iron will and impossible courage. He soothes the frightened animal with one hand while the other holds up the girl he carries. Her long dark hair is spilling over the shoulders of her nightdress when he shoves her onto the horse's back.
"Go. You know how fast Ginryuu is. He'll get you out of here."
"Mama," the girl is crying. "Eriol, oh Eriol. Kurogane, I'm afraid. Please come with me. I can't."
His hands force hers closed over the bridle. No reins, no saddle. She'll tumble off the animal in the dark.
"I'm right behind you, okay? I'm going to make sure none of them are following you, and then I'll come find you."
"Kurogane, please."
"I'll be right behind you, I swear it. I'll find you. Now go!"
The gate in the fence is open. He slaps the horse's gleaming silver flank, and it bolts. The girl screams once, high and desperate, then she leans forward and focuses on the ride. They are gone. And the youth turns around.
Fai choked, and backpedaled, both hands on Kurogane's chest to shove himself away. He crashed over his own abandoned chair and instead of gracefully righting himself, he fell against the table.
"What?" Kurogane rasped. He saw himself turning around, but what? Had Fai jumped ahead and seen more?
Fai's hands clutched into the table so fiercely that the wood groaned and cracked and splintered. "I don't think we're seeing the same thing."
"What do you mean?"
"You said you see yourself, from a distance. I'm not seeing it. I only see what you were seeing. I'm in your memory, Kurogane, but I think you're in a different one."
"That doesn't make any sense," he objected.
Fai drove himself up off the table and back to Kurogane in a blur, grabbing his face in his hands and snarling, "Look, you fool. Look."
He picks up a pitchfork that leaned against the fence. "If you even try to follow her, I'll fucking kill you."
Pity this poor creature, this tiny youth. He is so brave. "You think you can kill me, child?"
"Man enough to kill you if you try to hurt her. She's a little girl! She's just a kid! Leave her alone! Take me, come on!"
Just children, both of them. Hurting children is sad, somehow, isn't it?
"You have some kind of conscience in there? Do you? You're really such a monster that you'd go kill a little girl?"
"No."
How long since last you spoke to a human? Since last you looked at a human and saw more than their scent and their impending death? Brave youth, he is making you think and you do not like it. It hurts.
"Why are you doing this, then?"
His eyes are on the burning house next door. His family. They are dead, by now.
"Have I taken your family?"
His hands are trembling on his makeshift weapon. There is hay in his hair and it breaks your heart. If only you had one to break.
"You took everything," he says harshly.
"I could give you a new family." Why would you do that? Why does it hurt to think that you took from him and give nothing in return? Why does it hurt to think of him as a bleeding doll in the yard like the other boy? Is it his fierce courage or the hay in his hair? "I could make you strong enough to protect her. I could . . ."
His answer is to run screaming at you. You side-step his rush, but let your hand be caught by the tine of the pitchfork, tearing open your flesh. You grab his wrist with your other hand. You tear open his palm with your teeth. You press your bleeding hands together and drink in the scent of him. It mixes with the smoke and the blood, but you smell him like cool water and hot summer sun. It is the last time he will smell this good. You will take from him even this.
And then the others come, and you are afraid of what they will do, and you let him crumple at your feet and then you run. Take them the other way, so they won't know about the girl. The brave youth tried so hard to protect her, and he is yours now. You will protect her, too.
Fai slid bonelessly to the floor at Kurogane's feet. "You're seeing yourself, aren't you?" he muttered, and buried his face in his hands. "We're sharing memories, Kurogane. Both of us. Don't you understand yet? I'm looking at yours and you're looking at mine."
Kurogane almost remembered the sensation of nausea. He honestly wondered for a moment if he was going to be sick. Fai knelt on the floor with his face covered by shaking hands, and Kurogane stepped deliberately away from him. He didn't breathe or blink or do anything. He stood in numb disbelief. Fai's memories. Fai's memories of that night. Because Fai was there. Fai, following him and watching him.
He remembered. He remembered the eerie glow of blue eyes and the way the fire shone off the flaxen hair, the splashes of blood on the vampire's clothes. He remembered seeing Eriol flung into the yard like a broken toy. He remembered his father screaming at him to go find Tomoyo. He remembered thinking his father would somehow get himself and Mother out of the house. He remembered turning around in the horse paddock and seeing the monster staring at him, and feeling so terribly angry that he would have to break his promise to follow Tomoyo.
He remembered burning. The skyline on fire and the flesh of his hand burning so hot, and the vampire leaving him there and running.
He remembered.
"You—" he croaked. "You were— you made me."
"I'm sorry," Fai said.
"You—"
Kurogane snatched Fai up by his shirt and hauled him to his feet and shook him. "Why?"
Fai's hands and face were streaked with blood. There was blood everywhere. He was weeping. Kurogane had thought it was impossible for vampires to cry, but there was blood oozing from his eyes and he was shaking with the force of his tears.
"No no no no no," Fai whispered desperately, seeming incapable of anything else.
"Fai," came a strangled voice in the doorway. Yuui. Yuui was running in, dragging Fai out of Kurogane's hands, holding him tight. "Fai, no, ma chere, what is it, what's wrong?"
Fai hunched away, trying to keep all the blood from smearing onto his twin. Pointless, wasn't it? Half of that was Yuui's blood to begin with.
"We were trying to find the memory of the vampire who made me," Kurogane said.
"It seems you found it," Yuui said helplessly, his hands flicking over Fai and trying to decide on a place to land. "And it seems you know who it is."
"You're looking at him," Kurogane said.
Yuui froze.
"Your fucking brother made me. He and his friends slaughtered everyone I knew and burned down our homes, and then he turned me and just left me there."
Fai made a desperate, keening noise of despair. "I'm— Kurogane, I'm sorry, I—"
"I don't give a fuck," Kurogane spat out.
He stalked out the front door and started to run. And he didn't stop. He just ran and ran and he didn't pay attention to where he went. He ran until somehow, he found himself outside of the house where Chitose and the girls lived. Fresh blue paint, and the girls had decorated their room with purple and lace. It was so impossibly human, so impossibly normal, and he leaned his weight against the front door and tried to gather his thoughts there.
He'd always looked after them. Always felt like it was his purpose. He didn't know why he'd been made but he'd promised he'd be right behind Tomoyo and he'd protect her, and so he always had, and her children and her grandchildren after that. They were all he had of being human.
They wouldn't be home, now. The girls would be at school and Chitose at work. Kurogane went around to the side of the house where he couldn't be seen from the street and rested a while in the shade. Family. He'd always felt as though he'd lost one and gained a different one that night. He had forgotten that was the intention all along. Some kind of sick and twisted remorse that crawled up out of Fai's blood-soaked madness had made Kurogane what he was. He'd taken Kurogane's mother and father but had given him Tomoyo's family . . . And his own.
Kurogane didn't want to go back but eventually he did. He was no coward.
He didn't travel as fast on the return journey, but he didn't dawdle, either. He didn't know what he was going to say or do, and he was no closer to making a decision when he returned to the house than he was when he'd left it.
As soon as he put a hand on the door, he smelled it. Felt it. Felt power crest over him like a wave. He shook his head to clear it and pushed the door open with trepidation.
Fai was in the middle of the sitting room, and there was a woman kissing him. Long tresses of black hair snaked over her back and shoulders. She was tall and composed of beautiful angles, and she had her mouth fast over Fai's, holding him in place with long fingers on his shoulders that ended in red-painted nails.
When she drew away, blood coated both their lips. She'd bitten him.
"You are blood of my blood, always," she said, laying a hand to his cheek. "Do not fear, my child, we will weather this storm together."
There was a strange thrumming in Kurogane's head, and he honestly didn't know if she was speaking any language he understood or not. She was just so powerful that her voice must be heard and obeyed.
She turned, and cut-ruby eyes looked him up and down frankly. Then she stepped forward and took his face in her hands. He would have retreated, but he couldn't move. She bit his lip and her own and kissed him to mingle their blood together.
"You are also blood of my blood," she said. "I am Yuuko, child. I am your mistress, and I welcome you to my family."
"Was that necessary? I don't like being kissed by strange women."
She looked taken aback, but then she laughed. "Fai, my sweet, you have chosen as your child the most uncommonly stubborn creature I have ever seen. He would resist even me simply for the sake of his own stubborn nature." Her nails dug into the flesh of his cheeks. "I am Yuuko, and when I say jump, child, you say 'into which inferno, mistress?' Do you understand?"
Her influence slammed into him and he fell to his knees. "Yes, mistress. Hey!" He shot right back to his feet. "I'm not calling you that."
She laughed again, but she also dragged a long, lacquered nail through the blood she'd drawn on his cheek. "How precious he is. And so handsome."
Kurogane glowered at her as she minced her way over toward the sofa, fully aware that she wasn't hitting him with a fraction of what she could. He'd be in a frilly dress singing arias to entertain her friends if she ever wanted to force him to, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it. It pissed him off entirely. Nobody should be that powerful.
The sofa was occupied, he noticed for the first time. Yuuko's presence had been so overwhelming that he hadn't seen them before. Another woman of beauty and sensuality, her hair a riot of black curls, was reclining with a bare leg outstretched on the cushions, while her other leg was occupied with supporting the weight of the smaller, bird-like girl who sat in her lap and played absently with those curls. The older-looking woman had a hand curled around the girl's waist.
"He is handsome," the curly-haired one purred.
Maybe it was the way the girl perched on her leg that made her seem so bird-like, or maybe the way she tilted her silvery head when she inspected him.
"I suppose."
"Ah. This is my sister Suu, and her child Ora," Fai spoke up.
"I think it's lovely that you've made a child of your own," the little one said. That one must be Suu, then. "Kurogane, I hope it's not too forward of me to welcome you to the family."
"Uh, thanks. Fai, you didn't tell me your whole family was coming here. And why didn't we just go to them in the first place, anyway?"
They'd been rather busy with all the other questions they were trying to answer to focus on this side of things. They probably should have talked about this already.
"I didn't know Suu would come," Fai replied, although he turned and smiled warmly at her. "Not that I'm not pleased to see you."
"We wanted to have a chance to talk away from the rest of our court," Suu answered. "And I do so wish it was the whole family."
They were thinking about Kimihiro, then. The one who'd joined up with Fei Wang Reed's court. The one Shizuka and Himawari were meant to help somehow.
"Did Fai tell you about Shizuka and Himawari?"
Yuuko had gone to stand behind Ora and Suu, and she was the one who answered. "He did. I do not know how you, Kurogane, manage to find what I have spent one hundred years looking for, but I am grateful for it. And I am quite eager to look inside you and see what you know of my brother's death. The time of you coming to us is quite remarkable, but I do not believe in coincidence."
Kurogane opened his mouth to object, then closed it without saying anything. If she wanted to look, she would, and he couldn't stop her. He'd put up the best fight he could of keeping her out, just on principle, but he knew better than to think he'd win.
"Where's Yuui?" he asked instead.
"In the kitchen!" called out Yuui himself, his voice echoing through the doorway.
Kurogane headed for the kitchen, acting as though he had something to say to Yuui when in reality he just wanted to buy himself a minute. Fai's family was overwhelming. He lifted his hand and swiped at the blood still on his chin and cheek, the wounds already healed beneath the smear. His. His family.
Fuck.
Yuui was eating a plateful of eggs and bread with some kind of sauce poured over it.
"You're finally eating without anybody forcing you to, huh?" Kurogane asked dryly.
Yuui leaned forward and lifted his eyebrows teasingly. "I am mostly doing this to hide from the others for a bit. They are my family now, but that does not mean that they are not terrifying."
Kurogane chuckled, glad he wasn't the only one thinking it. "Yeah."
Yuui dragged a chair around so it was beside him, and patted it invitingly, a grin on his face.
"Why?" Kurogane muttered, but was already moving to sit. Yuui pressed himself close to Kurogane's side and tangled their feet together and continued eating. "What are you doing?"
"Cementing your place in the family before you begin to wonder," Yuui said, then smiled and nuzzled his head against Kurogane's shoulder. "But mostly I just wanted to snuggle."
"I don't. Snuggle."
"You are doing it right now," Yuui laughed, and kissed his cheek. Kurogane wanted to suddenly blur up out of the chair and dump Yuui on the floor. But that would probably set back his recovery or something. So put his arm around Yuui instead.
Fai's voice suddenly rang out from the other room. "You don't hear it?"
"What do you mean, Fai? Hear what?" Suu asked.
"I don't— Kurogane!" he cried out.
Kurogane shot to Fai's side immediately, and Fai grabbed at his hand.
"I can't quite make out, I need—"
Kurogane was trying to pinpoint inside of Fai's mind what it was he needed, and in doing so accomplished it. He found a voice speaking and brought it into sharp focus.
Fai please Fai can you hear me please
"Kimihiro," Fai gasped, squeezing his hand. Suu and Yuuko immediately rushed to them as if being closer would help. "Kimihiro."
I think I killed him what if I killed him no what have I done Syaoran no please
Kimihiro. I hear you.They were one and the same now, "I" taking on a strange new meaning.
Fai please did Kyle find you Kyle had the notebook do you have the notebook
I have it. What is it?
Evidence it's evidence we know Fei Wang Reed killed Yue, Sakura saw it she knows and we found Yue's clothes and there was a note in his clothes that Reed sent asking him to meet and Sakura saw Yue meet with Reed and saw him killed and I took notes on what I knew and I put the note I found in the notebook it's in the notebook and we have to get Sakura out of here before Reed knows what I've done
Kimihiro, please try to stay calm. What have you done?
I sent Kyle to you I sent him with the notebook and we have what we need to condemn Reed for killing Yue he could be executed for this but Sakura is the only witness and I need to get her to safety before Reed realizes oh Fai please no I'm so deep I came here to find evidence but he's too strong and I can't resist him and he'll know everything the minute he looks deep enough into me and I can't get away I just can't fight him but I had to contact you I had to know if Kyle did it I had to tell you oh no Syaoran my brother my Syaoran I fed from him to get power to resist Reed and I think I've killed him I drained him Fai and I'm slipping already I have to try to save him but it's Sakura that's important now
I hear you. I understand. Kimihiro, stay calm. Be brave. We're coming. Mother, and Suu, and I. We will come. We're coming for you. Don't let him see. Stay safe. We're coming for all three of you. Kimihiro, we love you, we—
The connection snapped, and then it was just Fai holding Kurogane's hand too tightly.
"He's gone," Fai said hollowly. "Merde, I thought I could—" He leaned on Kurogane for a moment, but then Yuuko ripped him away and looked into his eyes and read it all there.
"Oh, we shall come," Yuuko said, her eyes blazing up like a bonfire in the night. "Give me the notebook, Fai. We will gather whomever we can, and then we will go raze that fool's kingdom to the ground."
