Greetings dear readers.
Man, this was a bear of a chapter to get written. I felt like it just wasn't working for me as I wrote it. I didn't feel it really start to get easy until I got to the party. It took me three evenings to get it all written.
The scene in the Starbucks with Mindy and Angela might seem a little...crude...But I was chuckling over that for a long time. Plus, when you write Kick-Ass. I figure crude is part of the deal. LOL
I was actually going to write a scene where Dave and Mindy, meet up with their friends at the mall, but I just couldn't find a way to work that in and give them something to do that would move the plot along. So, I found the switch over to Riker's worked a lot better.
I'm hoping for some review here. :-D
And awayyyy we go. :-)
P.S. The scene of Marcus' early fight is definitely inspired by Family Guy. I saw one where Peter fought with the Giant Chicken and I felt I just had to work that in somehow. It's a comic non-sequitor that I hope everyone gets a chuckle from.
Mindy tugged down the hem of her red Christmas sweater to be sure it smoothed out, as she stepped into the kitchen. She looked at her watch again and saw that she had about twenty minutes, or so, until it was time to leave for the Justice Forever Christmas party.
Behind her, she heard Marcus shuffling painfully into the kitchen. She turned around to see her adopted father, wearily and painfully go to the freezer to remove a fresh cold pack.
"How're you feeling?" She asked him. He looked pretty tired and sore.
"In pain" Marcus replied.
"You did go a few good rounds last night." Mindy noted sympathetically as she handed Marcus a bottle of Motrin.
"Don't remind me." Marcus grumbled.
Just then, Mindy saw something on the laptop that was set up on the kitchen table. She sighed "I think the video is playing again."
"Aw, hell no!" Marcus sighed as the video of his encounter the previous night was going viral.
"Look at the bright side. This was how Dave got his start."
"I don't want to be a superhero. I don't want to be a celebrity. I'm a cop…I'm a cop who feels he's getting too old for this type of shit that went down last night." Marcus grumbled discontentedly.
"Listen…Maybe they've put in some new sound effects." Mindy said as she turned up the laptop's sound controls…
"Last night on the Lower East Side, a gang of armed robbers were filmed by a by-stander as they were arrested by New York's Finest…But maybe they should've called animal control instead…." The amused voice of the narrator said.
On the screen was the gang who'd been holding up bodegas on the Lower East Side. What marked them as unique was the fact that they were all dressed in head-to-toe animal costumes. There was a mouse, a pig and a chicken. All were in the process of being searched by uniformed officers when Marcus –who'd been literally around the corner when the radio call went out for Major Crimes to attend the scene due to the strange Modus Operandi - arrived. He had just begun to ask the uniform officer in charge what the situation was when the six-foot tall robber in the chicken costume tried to make a break for it. Marcus though, grabbed him before he could get away. However, that apparently didn't deter the escaping chicken-suited bandit, as he then punched Marcus right in the face. Marcus instinctively punched back…and the fight was on. The sight of a grown man –and a cop at that- having a brawl in the streets with a six foot chicken was apparently enough to cause everyone –other cops included- to stop and gawk. Marcus was standing his ground and exchanging punches with the costumed felon. (The padded costume both prevented Marcus from receiving any damaging blows, but also cushioned his own punches enough that he couldn't harm his opponent either.) Finally, Marcus saw an opening and went for it…driving his foot into the chicken's groin. The costumed robber fell to his knees, clutching himself and toppled over. Marcus was then heard yelling angrily –with a few words bleeped out by censors- for someone to put handcuffs on him. This most recent video had someone dub over Marcus' voice with an imitation of Peter Griffin. Then the video replayed Marcus' fight-ending kick and a voiceover said if anyone wanted take-out, it was chicken ball night…Which caused Mindy to erupt in laughter. Marcus shot her a dirty look.
"It's not funny."
"Marcus you got into a fistfight with a giant chicken."
"This city is getting crazier every damn day. When I started out on the job, it was muggers…armed robbers…pickpockets…Now, it's nuts in chicken costumes." Marcus said with disgust –more at being the newest internet sensation of the moment than anything else.
"Don't let it ruffle your feathers." Mindy said mockingly as she kissed Marcus on the cheek and grabbed her coat and a duffle bag containing her costume. Marcus shot her an even dirtier look.
"I hope there's no patrol in addition to the party."
"No. This is a purely social night." Mindy informed him.
"Well have fun…I'm going to sit here, watch Game of Thrones, and wonder when the city went crazy." Marcus said as he slowly walked back to the den.
Mindy shut the door behind her and waited outside for Dave to pick her up. The previous night had been a most fun one. She, Angela and Jessi had gone out together for dinner and had spent a huge amount of time catching up. Jessi had apparently taken well to living in Western New York and was making an effective fresh start after her problems in the City.
That afternoon, the three had met again at Atomic Comics with Dave, Todd and Marty…Only they had brought Dillon along. Dillon had met Jessi a couple of times before she moved away. However, this time something definitely clicked when they met again. In Mindy's opinion all that was needed was some cheesy romantic background music as they looked at one another.
Soon enough, Dillon and Jessi were making some sort of plans for the evening. Mindy wasn't quite sure what they had planned. All she knew for certain was that Jessi wasn't the least bit put out that Mindy and Angela had prior plans. (To be honest, they weren't even sure she had been paying attention when they told her they would be out that night.) Mindy looked at her watch again. She and Dave had to make a stop on the way to the party, as they were picking up the food for the event.
After a few minutes, Mindy saw a black Dodge Caravan turn the corner and drive up to where she was standing. She recognized it as a vehicle belonging to John Genovese, aka Colonel Stars. She saw Dave behind the wheel and realized that John must have lent Dave his minivan in order to pick up the food. Mindy found it rather amusing that a former Mafioso turned costumed vigilante –a man who was feared by criminals and who was very wealthy to boot- drove a minivan as his personal vehicle. (He proclaimed it was to drive his grandchildren around.)
The Caravan stopped in front of the house and Mindy got in with her costume bag.
"Hey" She greeted Dave.
"Hey" He replied back with a smile.
She sniffed the air. "Dude…Did you fall into a vat of English Leather?"
"What? You think it's too strong?"
"If we were on patrol tonight, they'd smell you coming from three blocks away."
"It can't be that bad."
"I can't put on aftershave too much because of patrols. I wanted to indulge." Dave said as he shifted the minivan into gear and maneuvered through the residential side streets. "Todd said he got a new bottle of Stetson to impress Angela with." He said with a grin.
"Shit, he'll knock Angela out cold if he puts on as much as you have." Mindy laughed. "Ok…Let's get the food. I can't wait to do this." Mindy said with a definite cackle as she began to pull her items of her costume from the bag.
Daniel Aloysius Malone walked through the kitchen of his West Village Bistro. He was supervising his kitchen staff as they went about preparing the appetizers for the beginning of the evening dinner rush. So far, there were no issues that required his attention. That was good, as he had to prepare a take-out order.
Malone went to the back counters and –grabbing an order sheet- checked off that all the items had been properly prepared and placed in large take-out trays that had been in turn placed in thermal bags. His sojourn from low-level hoodlum to chef and restaurant owner was going well thus far. He was the head chef –and partner- in a fairly successful establishment in a decent neighbourhood. They had been in operation for less than a year but had gotten good reviews from critics –thus giving them an excellent reputation in the residential West Village neighbourhood. They also provided take-out catering, which was especially busy now that the Christmas party season was in full swing.
Malone opened up a bottle of Evian –the hot kitchen and constantly tasting food tended to make one thirsty- and took a drink as the phone rang. Answering it, he found a voice that was familiar but he couldn't quite place.
"Hi…Is the take-out order ready?"
"You mean the big one for the party?"
"That's it."
"It's all set."
"Good…Someone will be at your kitchen door to pick it up."
"What? When…?" Malone said, as this was usually not how people picked up orders. Just then, there was a knocking at the kitchen door.
"Right about now, I would say." Said the voice on the line, right before the call was ended.
Malone, deciding that there were some decidedly weird customers in this line of work, sighed and went to open the kitchen door while taking a drink from his bottle of Evian. As the door swung open…Hit-Girl was standing in the doorway, hands on her hips and a devious grin on her face. Malone promptly did a classic spit-take of his water.
"Hey there, Malone; what's up?" She said cheerfully.
Malone tried to think of a good reply as his mind raced. The voice on the phone he now recognized as belonging to Kick-Ass. His knees began to tremble. After more than three and a half years since she shot him, Malone still had not gotten over the terror the sight of her provoked in him. Even though he'd had encounters with her and Kick-Ass in the ensuing time –after the Santa Claus Strangler case, they'd dropped by to let him know they were keeping their eye on him to make sure he stayed on the straight and narrow path- he still had this nagging phobia that she would finish him off some day.
"Is that our order? Cool." Hit-Girl said with a smirk.
Malone could only nod dumbly as he realized that it was Hit-Girl who was his customer. The purple-clad crimefighter strode casually into the kitchen. Luckily, the rest of the kitchen staff was sufficiently engrossed in their work that they didn't take note of who the customer was.
Hit-Girl looked at the invoice on one of the thermal bags, reached into a pocket of her costume and removed some cash. She picked up the bags and placed the cash on the counter.
"Keep the change." She said with a taunting sweetness as she walked out the door with the order "We'll have someone return the bags tomorrow…And Merry Christmas." She said as she left as swiftly as she came. Malone said down heavily on a stool, suddenly desiring a glass of Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey. As he slowly recovered his bearings, he thought that he might be able to profit from this. After all, there weren't too many establishments in New York City that could tout that they were the preferred caterer of superheroes.
Mindy swiftly stacked the food bags in the back of the minivan and hopped into the passenger seat beside Dave, pulling off her mask and wig as she did so. Dave started the Caravan up and pulled it out of the back alley as Mindy removed the net from her hair and allowed it fall down loose over her shoulders.
"How'd it go?" Dave asked with a smile. He already had a pretty good idea about that.
"Let's just say that if Malone had tendencies to imitate Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen, I don't think he'll be able to do that for a while…He still has to pull his jaw up off the floor."
"He was surprised?" Dave asked rhetorically.
"Oh hell yeah." Mindy replied. "I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his skull, or something."
"Well, the food smells good at least." Dave noted as he drove.
"It's been good whenever we've gone there." Mindy replied. Various members of Justice Forever had actually gone and eaten at Malone's establishment since it opened. In their civilian guises, Malone was blissfully unaware that various costumed crimefighters were dining on his specials.
Mindy's cell phone chimed a text then. She looked at the message. "Alice said she's picked up the cake." She informed Dave. "I still say it should be purple icing." She grumbled.
Dave shook his head with a smile and stole a loving glance over at Mindy as he maneuvered the large minivan –he was used to driving the far smaller and more agile Mistmobile, or at the very least his dad's sedan- through the evening traffic to the party.
Three hours later, the party was in full swing. It was being held –as it was the previous year- in a bar located above Justice Forever's basement headquarters. Both the bar and the entire building were owned by John Genovese. So, he simply had the bar closed for the night to host a private party and gave his regular staff the night off.
As the bar's regular staff was off, the various JF members were handling everything themselves. The Gentleman –who in his civilian guise was a grad student and fraternity member…and thus a survivor of some epic parties- was acting as bartender. The Guardian was handling the music. In addition to regular Christmas classics, the Justice Forever membership had brought in CD's to contribute to the night's entertainment. The Guardian was perusing the selection with varying degrees of disbelief at the musical tastes of his colleagues. Colonel Stars' had an apparent love of Jon Bon Jovi. And Hit-Girl…her tastes seemed to lean towards bubblegum punk. Among the music she brought in were The Dickies as well as Joan Jett.
Throughout the room, the assembled Justice Forever members enjoyed the food, beverages and music as they relaxed and allowed themselves to forget the dangerous work that to a person they were all hopelessly addicted to.
Dave saw a couple canoodling in a booth. The girl had rather impressively big hair. The guy's hair was nicely gelled into a blowback style. He was wearing a leather jacket over a turtleneck sweater and had a gold necklace with a New York Yankees logo on it. The girl had a matching necklace. Dave shook his head with a grin. In his opinion, the Bronx Bomber and Babe Ruthless could stand to be a little more subtle about concealing their identities. Of course, they lived in The Bronx, so they really didn't look that different from anyone else.
"Hey Vinnie…Lisa..." Dave said in a greeting. The pair looked up and acknowledged him.
"Hey Dave…How's it going?" Vinnie asked.
"Same old…Glad to be done with classes until January."
"Yeah…We're busy ourselves…Everyone who's driving out of town are bringing their cars in for tune-ups before they leave." Lisa said. The two of them owned and operated a garage for their civilian jobs.
"You two aren't going away for the holidays?" Dave asked.
"Nah, we always go down to Florida in March." Vinnie said.
"Tampa?" Dave asked knowingly.
"We've already got tickets for Steinbrenner Field." Lisa said proudly. The two had an annual tradition of going down to Florida to watch their beloved New York Yankees play during spring training in the Grapefruit League.
"Did you see the Yankees' website?" Vinnie asked. "They've got a fan page up for the two of us. I heard they're even putting up posters of us at Yankee Stadium on Opening Day next year."
"I'm gonna donate a bat I used so they can put it in a case. It's one I used to bust open the head of a mook selling weed by John Randolph Elementary School in Soundview. The douche was even trying to recruit the kids to sell to their friends. Well, at least until I laid his head open with my Louisville Slugger." Lisa said nostalgically.
"Ah Dave, you should've seen it. It was a work of art." Vinnie said. "The bastard didn't see her coming until she was already just ready to swing the bat at him. He turned around and saw her…and he pissed himself right before she connected."
"The look on his face right before I connected wood to skin…I just wish I'd had a hand free to take a picture of it." Lisa said with a contented sigh. "His blood is still in that bat. It was so beautiful, I never cleaned it off."
"Ah babe, you were awesome. It was like watching Don Mattingly knock one over The Façade at the Old Stadium."
"Babe…You thought I was like Mattingly?" Lisa asked, with her eyes lighting up.
"Oh yeah, babe…It was like Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Reggie Jackson, Don Mattingly and Josh Hamilton all rolled into one." Vinnie said as Lisa began to breathe heavily.
"Oh babe…You're making me hot." Lisa panted
"Hey babe…Let's go somewhere private." Vinnie said breathlessly.
As the two got up and looked around, they saw Alice emerge from the Ladies' Room. The two made a beeline for there and audibly locked the door behind them.
Alice walked over to Dave with a raised eyebrow.
"What were they talking about this time?" She asked him.
"About how she split open a drug dealer's head with a baseball bat and how she looked like one of the Yankee greats."
"Ah. Last time that happened, it was after they were telling me about when they hospitalized some gun runners from out of town who turned out to be Baltimore Orioles' fans." Alice said as she looked at the shut door to the Ladies Room.
"That must have been awkward."
"Yeah it was; especially as I was at their place and left sitting in the kitchen with Lisa's niece when they went off together to reminisce." Alice said. "I was hoping that I wouldn't be asked by a seven year old what those noises coming from the bathroom were."
"At least they didn't rag on me for liking the Mets." Dave said with a bemused look.
"At least they don't look at you like you're from another planet when you tell them that your team is the Rangers." Alice said with a smile. She'd long preferred hockey over baseball.
"Imagine if I told them my dad likes the Islanders." Dave responded. Casimir Lizewski harboured nostalgic memories of the New Yoirk Islanders' Stanley Cup dynasty of the early 1980's.
"He needs an intervention." Alice said with a laugh as she headed back to the table she and Sting were eating at.
Dave strolled over to the buffet table, where Mindy was talking with Todd and Angela as she loaded up her plate.
"Where did Vinnie and Lisa go?" Mindy asked as she spotted the now empty booth.
"They got to telling me about how she split open a drug dealers' head with a bat….So, I hope you and Angela don't have to use the Ladies' Room for the next five to ten minutes, or so."
"Ew" Angela declared as she looked over at the Ladies Room door. "Last summer they were doing that on a stakeout and left their mics to my console open…" She shook her head as if to rid herself of the memory. "All I heard was moaning and they weren't answering my calls. I was about to send out an emergency call to everyone to go help when I realized what they were doing."
"I'm so glad you didn't send the call." Mindy said as she imagined doing an emergency run –an emergency call was a high priority alert indicating a Justice Forever member was in serious trouble and anyone available was to go help immediately. It was a rare event, but one that was taken seriously by all members- to the Bronx for a false alarm.
"It's better than behind the dumpster at Atomic Comics." Todd said as he refilled his plate, not noticing the innocent look Dave tried to project. "Marty and I used to find condom wrappers out there, but we never figured out who it was."
"Ok…Everyone shut the fuck up about that. We're eating." Mindy declared with an incredulous shake of her head. "Whoever would do it by a dumpster in public has to be a total loser of a dickhead and the chick would have to be a complete skankoid." Mindy declared. "Am I right, Dave?" She asked her partner.
"Oh totally." Dave said with what he hoped was his most condemning yet innocent voice.
It was later still in the evening. The party –which all had declared to be a major success- was starting to wind down. Sting and Alice were slow dancing to an easy listening CD on the dance floor, as were Todd and Angela. Seated at the bar, sipping her Diet Coke, Mindy watched her friends carefully. It looked like their first date was going very well. Angela was practically beaming with excitement…even by her standards. Mindy was happy for Angela…as well as a little jealous. She and Dave had danced together a few times during the party –or, had tried to, at least. Neither one of them was a very skilled dancer –a result of Dave simply not having a knack for it and Mindy never having taken the time to learn or the desire to practice it…as she had about a hundred more pressing things to practice in her chosen career. But still, it had been really nice when they'd danced to a slow song. Mindy figured they must have looked the sight –their poor dance moves…the great disparity in their height…etc. But to her, it was about the best part of the evening.
Behind the bar, John Genovese saddled over to her and adopted the sympathetic poise of bartenders the world over.
"Have another?" He asked solicitously, indicating her almost empty glass.
"Please" Mindy replied.
John reached under the counter and produced a new can of Diet Coke along with a fresh glass with a slice of lime on the rim. "Can you handle it?" He teased affectionately.
"I'm not driving." Mindy retorted back with a smirk as she poured the beverage into her glass. Genovese chuckled and went back to loading up the dishwasher.
Mindy heard footsteps behind her and saw Alice coming over to her. From the doorway, Sting was pulling on his coat and waved a farewell to the remaining partygoers before removing some car keys from his pocket and exiting the premises.
"You're leaving?" She asked Alice.
"Yeah, he's just gone to warm up the car. I wanted to say goodnight to you."
"Thanks" Mindy said as she took another sip of her drink.
"No problem….So, have you gotten anywhere with him?" Alice said with an amazingly casual air.
"What?" Mindy asked as she nearly choked on her soda.
"Dave…Come on, it's painfully obvious that you like him."
"I don't…You can tell?" Mindy asked in a small voice, for once coming across as young as she actually was.
"Well, I'm not deaf, blind or an idiot; so yes I can." Alice said with a sisterly smile as she put her scarf around her neck and pulled her coat on.
"Ah…" Mindy started to say as she fought to come up with something to preserve her dignity. She was eternally thankful that Dave was putting some stuff away for John in the other room.
"Don't be embarrassed. You two are great together."
"We are?" Mindy said, as her eyes lit up.
"Totally"
"But he doesn't see me like that…" Mindy began to say.
"Excuse me? You two are supposed to be the best detectives in the group and you say something that dense?" Alice said with a disbelieving laugh. "First off, he checks you out all the time when you don't see him. Second of all, he's incredibly cute and single but you said he hasn't had any sort of real relationship since that girlfriend of his moved away? Instead, he spends about all his free time with you. Do you think that's a coincidence? Thirdly, I just see how much you too click together. Trust me…He's totally into you." Alice declared brightly.
"Are you sure?" Mindy asked in a quiet voice. Beneath her calm exterior, she was wild with emotion as she pondered the possibility that Dave could actually want her like that.
"Oh, I am." Alice chirped brightly. She looked out the window and saw Sting pull his BMW up in front of the bar. "Well, that's my ride. We're going back to his place for some playtime."
"Playing doctor?" Mindy asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Nope…Horny nurse meets a shipwrecked pirate." Alice said without missing a beat as she buttoned her coat. "See you later." She said to Mindy as she exited, with a wave to Todd and Angela.
Just then Todd and Angela came over to Mindy and announced they were leaving too.
"I'd better get home. Jessi will probably want to tell me all about her big date with Dillon." Angela said with a smile as she leaned into Todd contentedly.
"What're you going to tell her about your evening?" Todd asked as he put his arm around her.
"I don't know…It's not over yet." Angela said in a flirtatious tone.
"How am I doing?"
"So far, you're doing great." Angela said with a broad smile.
"Does that mean you might want to go see a movie tomorrow?" Todd asked, scarcely able to contain his pleasure.
"I think it guarantees it." Angela replied.
"Hey…I'm sitting right here, you know." Mindy spoke up sarcastically from the bar stool. Todd and Angela suddenly looked a shade guilty as they recalled they had not been alone for their flirtatious banter.
"Oh…sorry." Angela said sheepishly. Mindy sighed and shook her head.
"You'd better get home. I'll meet you and Jessi for lunch tomorrow?"
"I'll call you in the morning." Angela said as she gave Mindy a quick hug. Dave emerged from the back room just then in time to say his farewells to Todd and Angela.
"So, it looks like their first date went well." Dave said as he sat down on the barstool next to Mindy and poured himself a Coke Zero.
"Looks like" Mindy said in agreement as she began to ponder what Alice had told her.
The bar was almost deserted. Dave and Mindy were helping John clean up and set the bar back to its normal configuration for its return to normal traffic the next day.
"Another successful Christmas Party for Justice Forever." Dave declared as he deposited the tin foil catering trays in a large garbage bag.
"Yeah…I never know Biker Knight was such a fan of disco." Mindy said as she recalled the most reserved member of the group clearing the dance floor when the BeeGees were played.
"As the saying goes, still waters run deep." Dave said sagely. In actuality, he'd never seen anyone do disco like that outside of John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. "You're meeting Angela and Jessi tomorrow for lunch?"
"Yeah, we want to get in some time together before Jessi heads back the day after tomorrow."
"It's a good thing we take time off now."
"It feels weird to do that."
"I know, but we can use the break and we'd be into the law of diminished returns if we didn't." Dave said. He was referring to a very simple fact about costumed crimefighters and the Christmas season. The fact was, what he and Mindy brought to the streets wasn't truly needed at that time of the year, as a rule. Aside from simply grabbing thugs, what he and Mindy did was they spread fear amongst the criminal underworld. They invoked a simple, animal fear that a criminal might turn around in the dark of the night and find Kick-Ass or Hit-Girl emerging out of the shadows about to launch him into a world of pain. The fear that they spread multiplied their effectiveness at least twenty times over. However, the sad truth was that –aside from the professional criminals and predators that they still dealt with- most of the lowlife element that would commit criminal acts at Christmastime were already scared. So, there was little that Dave and Mindy could do that would further deter them and allowed the police to handle those criminals.
As a result, Dave and Mindy –along with the rest of the Justice Forever personnel- scaled back their activities a great deal over Christmas. It allowed them to get a bit of a rest and have some social activities of their own. Mindy occasionally wondered what her father would think of them doing that. However, she had to admit that her father had never expressed an interest in using their heroic guises to protect the public at large and fight a general war on crime. He didn't seem to be able to see beyond his own personal revenge against Frank D'Amico.
"What's left?"
"We just have to take out the recycling and that's it." Dave said. He picked up two bags of empty cans and bottles, while Mindy picked up two bags of her own and they carried it out the back door the recycling bins.
As they came back in, Dave called downstairs to John that they were done and would be leaving soon. The owner –who was taking an inventory of his liquor stocks called back his thanks. Dave turned around and bumped into Mindy. She was staring up at the ceiling.
"What's the matter?"
Mindy just pointed up to the ceiling. Hanging there was a spring of mistletoe. Dave's breath caught in his throat as he felt Mindy's small hand brush against his.
Todd and Angela broke apart from their kiss at her front door. Both of them were having a hard time speaking as they were both smiling so much.
"So, does this mean we can go see a movie tomorrow?" Todd asked.
"Oh, you'd better believe it." Angela giggled as she gave him another quick kiss.
"Thanks"
"What're you thanking me for?"
"For wanting to go out with me."
"You make it amazingly easy." Angela said. "Now, you'd better get going before I drag you inside or something." Todd's eyes lit up at that. Angela laughed again. "Don't worry…I think I'll want to do that before too long." She gave him a final peck on the lips. "Drive home safe and call me tomorrow." She instructed with a smile as Todd waved and walked down the drive –nearly tripping over the flagstones as he was looking back at Angela on her front stoop- at her door- to his car.
Angela giggled her herself and opened her front door. She was on such a high from the fun evening and her first kiss with Todd that she didn't take note that she hadn't needed to use her key and her front door was already unlocked.
"Mistletoe?" Dave noted as he looked up to the ceiling.
"Yeah" Mindy replied, not taking her eyes off of it as she turned so that she was facing Dave.
"I wonder who put it up there?"
"To paraphrase Lisa Loeb, I don't know and I don't care." Mindy said quietly as she took Dave's hand in her own and leaned in very close against him.
"Funny how we didn't see it earlier tonight." Dave said.
"Yeah…But someone had to have taken the time and effort to have put it up."
"Looks like a lot of work." Dave said, even though it clearly wasn't.
"It's a shame to let it go to waste…don't you think?" Mindy said with a plaintive desire in her voice.
"It would be a sinful shame." Dave murmured as he was aware of how close Mindy was to him.
"We can't have that, can we?" Mindy said as she reached up and put her hand around Dave's face, drawing him down to her.
"No…We can't." Dave said as he bent down towards her as he reached around to the small of her back and pulled her close to him.
Angela trotted happily upstairs to her room. The house downstairs was unoccupied. (Her mother had driven to Boston to pick her brother up from M.I.T. for the Christmas break, and was spending the night in Boston.) She'd have expected Jessi to be sitting in front of the television set, ready to tell her about how her first date with Dillon had gone. However, there was nobody there. That suited Angela fine. It would let her take a shower and get ready to tell Jessi all about her own evening. As she came to the door of her room, Angela's senses were telling her something was amiss…elements of the norm were out of place. However, she was sufficiently distracted by memories of her evening that she ignored them. It was only when she was opening the door to her room that she began to pay attention to the warning signals. By that time though, the door had opened and it was far too late.
Dave brought his head down low as Mindy stood up on her tiptoes. Hesitantly, their lips came together….
Angela's scream of shock pierced the silence of the Sullivan home.
Dave and Mindy's lips came together with desire mixed with anxiety. For a brief second, they both had to remind themselves that this was real and not a dream. They began to deepen the kiss…
Then, a shrill noise split the air and the two jumped apart as is they'd been sleepwalking. They stared at each other for a second, just then Mindy thought to look for the source of the noise. It was her cell phone. She recognized the tone. It was Angela calling. She looked at Dave, trying to think of something good to say as she answered the call.
Before she could say anything, a scream met her ears forcing her to move it away from her head.
"Angela…what?" She tried to say into the receiver. "What…? I'm on my way!" Mindy said with a worried tone as she ended the call. She looked again at Dave.
"What's wrong?" Dave asked in a sort of shell-shocked tone. He was blown away by what just happened, and was now worried about what Angela could be calling about.
"I don't know, but she's freaking out about something. She said something about she had to run from her house!" A text message came through just then. Mindy read it. "She's going to meet me at the Starbucks at the end of her street."
"Do you need me to come?" Dave asked. He was not certain if that would be a good or a bad thing if he were to accompany her.
Mindy looked as equally perplexed; it was a rare event indeed that Mindy Macready was at a loss for either words or action. "I, uh, don't think so." Mindy said as she pulled on her coat and grabbed the bag that held her Hit-Girl costume. "You don't have your costume or anything, and I think I can handle it alone."
"Are you sure?" Dave asked as he took a step towards her.
"Yeah…Thanks though. I'll call you as soon as I know anything. OK?"
"Ok" Dave said as Mindy reached up awkwardly to give him a hug. Impulsively, she went to kiss him on the cheek. But Dave turned his head just then and she caught him on the lips. Mindy stepped down, now totally at a loss. She was about to say something, then decided to just smile and wave as she bolted out the door.
Twenty minutes later, Mindy burst through the door of the Starbucks at the end of Angela's street. Her friend's appearance caused her to stop short. Angela's face was pale and she was clutching her mug –of what Mindy desperately hoped was some sort of soothing tea- so hard her knuckles were white. As Angela saw her, she waved her over to the table desperately. The barrista behind the counter, who clearly was deriving some amusement at Angela's frazzled state, grinned at her partner as Mindy entered and joined the redhead.
"Mindy…Thank God you're here!"
"What the fuck is wrong Angela?" Mindy asked with concern. When she and Todd had left the party, Angela had been calm and happy. Now, she was at about an eight out of ten on the freak-out scale. What had happened in the meantime?
"Todd drove me home…It was so nice…We kissed and he said he'd take me out tomorrow night…"
"And…" Mindy asked.
"The door was unlocked. I should've noticed that right away. I should've been on my guard. But I wasn't…"
"Someone was in your house?" Mindy asked. She was trying to figure this out. Angela routinely handled all sort of emergencies calmly and efficiently. What's more, if she'd found her own house had been broken into, Mindy knew Angela would be holding it together better than this. She was a crimefighter, after all. She was the nerve center for Justice Forever. If she'd come home to find intruders in her home, she well knew all she'd have to do is call 9-1-1...or just call a few friends from the team over, who'd be more than happy to help her deal with the soon-to-be really sorry prowlers.
Angela nodded with her green eyes wide. "It was Jessi."
"Jessi? But Jessi's staying with you. What's the big deal?"
"Dillon was there."
"So he brought her home? That was nice of him."
"NO! You don't understand! I saw the two of them…"
"You saw the two of them…?"
"I walked into my room and I saw the two of them…" Angela said as her voice trailed off.
"Huh?"
"I WALKED IN ON THEM FUCKING ON MY BED!" Angela practically screamed. Both pairs of barristas eyes shot over to them. Mindy shot them back an icy glare.
"Would you care to run that by me again, if you please?" Mindy sighed as she pinched her fingers over the bridge of her nose.
"I was going up to my room. I was going to shower and put my pajamas on. I thought that Jessi wasn't home yet from her date. I thought I'd wait up for her and then we could talk about what we each did."
"But instead of being told, you got a picture that was worth a thousand words?" Mindy asked with a chuckle.
"How about a billion words, and 'fuck' is about every third word." Angela said with a tone that indicated she had a hard time believing what she'd seen. "I mean, I just walked in and there they were…The two of them. They were totally naked…and all sweaty…and smiling. Holy shit Mindy, I've seen them naked!"
"Angela, I think you should lower your voice, or they'll ask us to leave." Mindy advised.
"No we won't." Said one of the barristas casually, as the pair was listening intently, clearly enjoying the free and unexpected entertainment they were being provided. Mindy just shot them another glare that could melt steel but that didn't seem to faze them in the slightest. She sighed and turned her attention back to Angela.
"Ok…That's not a big deal. We used to take phys-ed class with Jessi. We used the showers together. We've both seen her naked before."
"We saw her soaping up and rinsing! You didn't see her flat on her back…on MY sheets…all sweaty and touching herself, waiting for Dillon to stick his dick back into her!" Angela hissed. Before Mindy could respond, one of the barristas brought two mugs over. One he put in front of Angela and took her now empty mug. The other he put in front of Mindy, informing them it was on the house. Mindy sighed and decided they had to leave as soon as possible, if for no other reason than she didn't want to provide jerk-off material to the java jerks behind the counter. "Oh my fucking God…Mindy…I've seen Dillon's dick!"
Mindy idly thought to herself that was a sentence she never in her life thought would be said in any conversation she had with Angela. She palmed her forehead and motioned for Angela to continue. As far as she was concerned, their humiliation could not increase, so she might as well get it over with…It was like ripping off a band-aid…It was best to do it really fast.
"Look, I'm sure Dillon is freaked out about this as much as you are."
"Oh no, he's not. I walked in on them…And they were right in the middle of it. Dillon pulled out of her and they just both looked over at me…and smiled."
"They smiled?" Mindy asked. She wouldn't have expected that.
"They smiled. Dillon just turned towards me…and I saw everything. And it was like he was proud of it!"
"Say what now?"
"I think they were both even more turned on that I saw them. They just smiled…and they started doing it again. I mean, he put his dick right back into Jessi and started pumping…WHILE I WAS WATCHING!"
"Wow…" Mindy said as this was a shocker even for her. "It turned them on?"
"Yeah…I don't know how long they'd been going at it. It HAD to have been for hours. Oh my God…My room….My quilt was on the floor…It was stained with…I don't even want to imagine, but it looked like it was hardened into some sort of modern art sculpture. And my sheets…Holy shit, that was gross…I'm pretty sure it was Jessi's first time!"
"Whoa" Mindy said. There really wasn't anything else to say. Of all the things that she was expecting to find when she rushed over from the bar…This was definitely at the bottom of the list.
"Whoa is right! It was like I was caught in between a heartbeat. I wanted to run, but I couldn't turn my eyes away. It was like watching a car crash happen in front of me…a pornographic car crash! I couldn't even shut my eyes. I just watched Dillon have sex with Jessi right on my bed. I finally was able to turn and run when they looked at me, smiled and kind of whispered to each other after Dillon finished that time…I think they were about to ask me to join them!"
"Are you fucking serious?" Mindy asked, then after a pause added "Uh, pardon the expression." She said awkwardly.
"Yes, I'm serious. It was like the Dillon and Jessi we know were abducted by aliens and replaced by lookalikes from the Planet Porno."
"But Dillon's so sweet; so shy." Mindy said incredulously.
"You think I'm not surprised? Maybe his sweet and shy thing is just an act…Maybe he's suppressed that side of him for years and just was waiting for someone to unleash it." Angela said as her pupils seem to finally revert to their normal size. "What am I going to do tonight? They're not going to be finished anytime before morning, I don't think. And even if they were, I'm not touching a thing in there until I've steam cleaned everything."
Mindy had to laugh at that. "Come on" She said as she helped Angela to her feet. "You can stay over at my place tonight." As she guided Angela out the door.
Sometime later, a much calmer Angela was sitting on the edge of Mindy's bed, clad only in her panties and a t-shirt. A shower and a late night snack had done wonders at calming her nerves. Just then Mindy came back into her room, dressed in her own t-shirt and sleep shorts, with her blonde hair wet from showering.
"Feeling better?" She asked Angela.
"A lot" Angela replied. "Thanks for letting me stay over."
"What's a friend if not someone who offers you a night of sleeping on jizz-free sheets?"
"So, did anything happen after Todd and I left to deliver me to my borrowed den of iniquity?"
"Oh…Nothing much…" Mindy said with sudden and uncharacteristic hesitation. "Dave and I helped John straighten up…took out the recycling…kissed." Mindy said the last word in as small a voice as she could manage.
"Say what?" Angela squeed, her green eyes going wide.
"There was some mistletoe on the ceiling and we kind of, sort of, briefly….kissed." Mindy said.
"What happened then?" Angela asked breathlessly.
"I got a call from my other best friend who was in middle of a freak-out." Mindy replied in a deadpan tone of voice.
"Oh…I'm really sorry." Angela said, feeling terribly guilty. She'd been hoping that Dave and Mindy would finally do something about the fact they were so right for each other. They'd taken the first step…and then she'd inadvertently ruined it.
"You didn't know, and I've got to admit that it was pretty exceptional circumstances." Mindy said as the two slid into the bed.
"Yeah…Oh, Jessi sent me a text while you were in the shower."
"She found the time? Was Dillon taking a break to rehydrate or something?"
"Please don't repaint that picture…She said that she and Dillon would replace my quilt and sheets."
"They're that bad?"
"The sheets I was going to burn. The quilt could be cleaned, but I wouldn't be able to look at it again without thinking of them doing it. I don't think I could cover myself up to sleep with the quilt knowing that."
"I can understand that. So, I guess that means you'll have nice fresh sheets and and a quilt for when you and Todd can render them amazingly gross."
"Mindy!" Angela gasped as she giggled. What was ticking her off about this as much as anything else was the fact that it was her bed, and someone else was able to have sex in it before she could. Dammit, the girl who owned the bed should be first to be deflowered in it.
"So, we'll meet with Jessi and Dillon at the mall to do that before the three of us go to lunch."
"Do you think Jessi will be able to tear herself away from her new paramour?" Mindy asked facetiously.
"I don't know. I just hope they don't have pictures."
"Pictures?"
"This is Dillon we're talking about, and after that grin he had when I saw him and Jessi…I wouldn't discount it." Angela said as Mindy turned off the light.
"Was it good?" Angela asked after a minute.
"Was what good?"
"You and Dave…"
"Yeah…It was good." Mindy said with a dreamy sort of smile on her face. She was determined that her first kiss with Dave would not be their only kiss.
"Ok. I'm not going to be able to sleep for a while -or even shut my eyes without seeing Dillon grinning back at me..."
"You sure you won't be visualizing something else looking back at you?" Mindy interjected.
"Please stop reminding me." Angela laughed. "As I was saying...I won't be able to sleep for a while...So I want all the details of you and Dave tonight."
Mindy rolled over in the bed and faced her friend. She hadn't been planning on spilling all these details, but then she figured that if Angela could keep her being Hit-Girl a secret...This would be no big thing. "Ok...I was looking up and I saw the mistletoe..." She began. Mindy didn't take too long a time to reflect on how normal an event it was for two teenage girls to talk about boys they liked. She hoped her father would forgive her for her lapse into normalcy.
That same evening, Jacob Jeremiah was on his way back to his cell from the evening meal at the Otis Bantum Correctional Centre on Riker's Island . Ever since his arrest that terrifying night where he'd encountered Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl, and subsequently surrendered himself to the police, he'd adjusted relatively well to being returned to custody.
He had no idea how much longer he'd be here. He was surprised he was still at the city jail, to be honest. He would have thought that he would have been sent back upstate for having violated his parole –back to Wall Kill, or maybe to Sing Sing or Attica. Yet, he was still here in the city jail. Not that it made much difference to him: being in stir was being in stir. It was all pretty much the same. It was curious though.
"Jeremiah" A guard's yell interrupted his thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"Go and report to yard door, you're on a detail."
"Now?"
"No shithead, next Tuesday! Yes, fucking now." The guard blustered at him. As he'd confessed to selling drugs to school kids, Jacob B. Jeremiah tended to be rated very low on the jail's pecking order in terms of respect accorded him by other inmates. In fact, the only people who got less respect tended to be kept segregated in protective custody, for their own well being. The guards, not surprisingly, accorded him even less respect.
"Hey fine by me." Jeremiah mumbled to himself as he left the line of prisoners filing back to their cells and dormitories.
At the yard door, a guard was waiting for him. He unlocked the door and pointed to several empty dumpsters standing nearby.
"Jeremiah, move those dumpsters over to the loading dock."
Jeremiah wanted to ask why, as this was an utterly strange assignment. The yard was dark and deserted. The screws usually didn't let the cons out of the building at this time of night for that very reason. And this guard giving him the orders carried a reputation among the inmates as being pliable to any high bidder. But, there was no way he could refuse a relatively easy and safe work order…unless he wanted to go to the hole or something.
Jeremiah stepped out into the yard, positioned himself behind the empty dumpster and began to push it across the yard. It wasn't heavy or anything, so the task was easy. He was still wondering about why he was being given this assignment after the evening meal. As a rule, after the evening meal the only inmates not sent back to their cells or dormitories were the ones who worked in the kitchen and thus were engaged in clean-up.
After he had pushed the last dumpster into position, Jeremiah turned around, to head back to the door that would let him back into the main building. It was then that he heard footsteps. He assumed it was one of the hacks who patrolled the yard. That was all he needed –a turnkey who didn't get the word he was on a detail, thinking he was trying to bust out.
"I'm just moving the dumpsters. I was told to do it…" Jeremiah said as he turned around and realized that this person was not any guard.
Standing before him, pretty much looming over him, was a truly massive specimen of a man. He had to be at least 6'5 and a weight of upwards of 300 pounds. He was dressed in non-descript grey and brown clothing, rather than a correctional officer's uniform or the orange uniform of the inmates. His hair was closely trimmed, with the rest of his face clean-shaven. And he had perhaps the coldest eyes Jeremiah had ever seen, inside or outside of stir.
"Of course you were told to do it." The giant rumbled to him in a very deep voice. He's spoken in excellent English but had a definite accent. "Who told you to do it?" He asked, taking a step forward.
Jeremiah took a step backwards to compensate. This guy was scaring him. How the hell did he get into the yard? While built to keep people in, they were also supposed to keep people out as a rule. "A guard." He said with false bravado.
"Ah yes, a guard; you do what the guards tell you. Do you not?"
"What the fuck is it to you?"
"You think that this…place…is difficult. Perhaps to a weak American, such as yourself, it is. But I can tell you that there are far worse places than here. In the gulags, this would have been considered a place of luxury that the Tsars would have lived in, when compared to how we lived…and how many died."
"That so?" Jeremiah said, all bravado gone now. He was looking desperately around for a correctional officer.
"That is indeed so. I believe you've been told other things, by other people, have you not?"
"What're you talking about?"
"The person who supplied you with the drugs you were distributing. Did he not tell you that you were not to reveal who that person was?"
Jeremiah felt his legs go weak. He suddenly realized what was going on here. "But it was Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl. They…"
"They will not be of any accord in the fullness of time, comrade." The giant said with a shake of his huge head. As he did so, Jeremiah could see some sort of tube running into the back of his neck. What the fuck was up with this guy?
"Those two, and their colleagues, will soon be no more. That is why I have been brought to your country." The huge man said as casually as if he were reading a grocery list.
"Well hey, if you're looking to take out Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl, I know tons of people who'll help you. They've put half of the cons in here. Hey, I'll help you out if you'll get me out of here…"
"You?" The huge stranger broke into a deep laugh. "Your time on this planet is miniscule compared to that which they have. That is why I am here."
Jeremiah tried to scream for help, but the huge hand clamped over his mouth. At the same time, the man's other hand took a hold of his head…and twisted. Jacob Jeremiah's neck broke with a sickening crack. With casual aplomb, the large man tossed Jeremiah's dead body into one of the dumpsters and casually strolled back to the loading dock door that had been conveniently left open for him. As he exited, he heard the guard –the same one who'd admitted Jeremiah to the yard, locking it behind him.
Captain Victor Gigante sat in his unmarked Ford, sweating profusely despite the winter chill. Beside him was the creepiest man he'd ever met. He was tall and thin. There was wasn't a hair on his pale head and his eyes were hidden by thick pair of glasses that acted almost like mirrors.
"You are…nervous…Comrade Gigante?" The man spoke in a tone that sounded almost like a snake's hiss. Like his friend, this gaunt creepshow spoke excellent English, but with enough of an accent that one could tell it was his second language.
"What makes you say that…?"
"Nyet…You are scared."
"Oh yeah, what am I scared of?"
"Of us."
"No, I'm not."
"Oh yes…Oh yes, you are." The cadaverous man said in almost giggling way. "You are scared of us. You are a policeman, but your bourgeois greed makes you take money from the man who pays us. Yet, you do not have the courage to follow through on what you've taken his money to do. Perhaps you are thinking that we've been sent to kill you too?"
"No…" Gigante said, in an attempt to hide his fear. This creepy zombie would do it too, he suspected. And his friend…His friend could rip him in half like a telephone book. As if summoned, the huge form emerged from the shadows and opened the back door to fold himself into the back seat. The car sank on its springs as he did so.
"Is it…"
"It is done." The huge man replied.
"Comrade Gigante, you will drive us back to the city now." The cadaverous man said. It wasn't a question or a request. It was an order. Gigante was sweating. There was only one way on or off Riker's Island: The Francis Buono Bridge that led into Queens. All cars, he was sure, were watched on cameras…and he had been ordered to haul these two foreign psychopathic refugees from some horror movie to and from the jail. He should've said no…But he couldn't. Chris D'Amico was proving to be scarier than his father had ever been. Frank D'Amico had been utterly ruthless. But Chris D'Amico was revealing himself to be an insane sociopath. A perfect case in point was his importing these two madmen into the city.
"Perhaps we have made Comrade Gigante nervous, tovarich." The giant in the back seat said to his companion.
"Perhaps indeed; let me make amends, by properly introducing ourselves." He pointed a bony finger to himself. "You man address me as The Sickle. And he…is The Hammer."
Ten minutes after Gigante's car had exited off the Francis Buono Bridge –his badge had expedited his journey- Jacob Jeremiah was reported as overdue back at his cell for the evening count. The facility went into lockdown and the procedures for a possible escape went into place. It was two hours later that his dead body was discovered in the dumpster.
Although neither the police nor the heroes of Justice Forever had realized it yet; but The Hammer and The Sickle had claimed their first victim in New York City.
