~Chapter 6~
~Maron's POV~
Two entire months had passed since Chiaki trespassed on my property. I'd tried many times to kick him out, going so far as to threaten a restraining order. He hadn't listened. It was so infuriating!
...But I didn't want to talk to anyone. Emotions were often clear through the way a person spoke. I literally didn't trust my voice. Which meant that a restraining order was out of the question.
Nevertheless, why did he stay? He did everything, from making meals to cleaning my apartment to fetching the groceries. There were still many nights he was gone, something about errands he had to run, but even if I locked my door, he used a paperclip to open it. Why? It would be so much better if he could just go away. And I didn't understand this weird look he got in his eyes whenever he looked at me. I wish he wasn't here.
Not to worsen the situation, but the bruise Sinbad had so generously bestowed upon me had swollen further, tripling in size. The bruise itself might be swollen, but thankfully the color was lightening up. A lot. Now there was no black, just a big purple blotch on my stomach surrounded by a hint of blue. then the blue was surrounded by traces of brown. The swelling would go down as my body healed. The only reason I worried about it was because of Chiaki. He might see it. He might discover the bruise. He might start asking questions.
I couldn't take anymore grillings. I'd had enough of it from Fin, who, by some miracle, found a way back inside no matter how many times I locked her out. I didn't have to worry about her as much since Chiaki couldn't see her. If it was Sinbad, that would be a different story. I realized how lucky it was that I had to deal with only Chiaki, but I still wished he would leave.
But there was a bright side, even to this. Being a girl meant bad news when facing off against a guy. With Chiaki here, I had a little extra protection should Sinbad show up. If he should find out where I lived, then Chiaki could buy some time while I got away. After all, men were supposed to protect women.
But that didn't mean they did. Ever since my encounter with my rival Kaitou, I'd acknowledged that fact. I knew too well that nobody could be fully trusted. I'd trusted Sinbad, for some unknown reason, and now look what happened. Perhaps I'd simply grown too used to having him so near me every time I went to seal a demon. Maybe I was just too naive. I should've seen it coming, though. That first kiss, and then the second one, both forced on me. It was like I was asking for trouble. Why hadn't I even considered a possibility of Sinbad, a servant of the devil, hurting me, a servant of God? Why had I allowed him to keep getting closer and closer to me? I'd avoided police, mocking them even, yet I'd let Sinbad kiss me twice! And I didn't even want to be kissed!
How could I have let that happen? Why had I trusted him this whole time, all the while knowing that he had sworn his services to the devil?
And then there was Chiaki...
"Damn uncute girl!" "Being 'uncute' is fine with me!"
"Ah, you have a nice figure."
"What color are they today?" "What are you talking about?" "Panties."
"Hey, you're cute. Want to go out with me?" 'What a skirt-chaser he is!'
Even Chiaki objectified me. Was that all I was? Just some toy? Just something for everyone to look at? Did anyone ever stop to think that I was also a human? That I also had feelings? I feigned confidence and happiness all the time. I put on a fake smile and muddled through the days. I couldn't do that now. All I could do was wait to forget this whole thing. Or at least wait for myself to get to a point where I could go back to school, put Happy Maron back on, and keep pushing through.
It was so stupid to think I was tough enough to take on anything. Whenever I was Jeanne, I honestly felt like I could take on something bigger than myself. Maybe that was why I let Sinbad get too close to me. Could be that I'd gotten a little too courageous. I never thought that there was a stopping point to courage. Well, now I knew there was, but I didn't know that before it was too late.
I sat up in my bed. I had to force myself to eat now because I was never hungry. I had to force myself to stay awake all night, every night, so I wouldn't dream. I'd passed out a few times from this already, and had dreamt. It had worried Chiaki and Fin that I wasn't getting necessary sleep, but there wasn't anything they could do to make me sleep.
Maybe tomorrow I could go to school, and hopefully Chiaki would think I was fine afterwards. I only had to wait another... I turned over and checked the time. I only had seven hours to go before I could get up and get myself ready for school. I could play my little stunt and then hole myself back up, this time making sure to excuse myself as being sick. The "sick trick" wouldn't hold up forever, but at least it would buy me a considerable amount of time to think. Right now everything that had happened seemed so unreal, like it was a blurry dream. I needed that extra alone time to grasp the concept. Might sound stupid, like I should already know and all that, but unless you went through it, you had no right to talk to me about it.
When I decided it was time to start the day, I slid out of my bed and hurried to see if Chiaki was still watching me. And yes, I said "watching". Although I'd told him I didn't want him to look at me, he still checked up on me to make sure I was doing alright. Was it sweet? Yeah, sure. Did I want it? No.
I sighed in relief when I found him conked out on the couch.
It didn't take too long for me to get ready, especially considering that I'd already showered in the night.
When I was done, I slipped through the door. I was decked out in my school uniform and my usual hairstyle. I really didn't look like I had been out of my normal morning routine. The only real difference was that this time I was earlier than Miyako, who always claimed we'd be late if we didn't get a move on. Or at least, that's how I remembered it. Who knows? Maybe she's changed. Or maybe not...which meant she could be out here any minute.
Seeing me would be a nice surprise for her, but bad news for me. Her excitement might wake Chiaki. I just hoped no one would notice the little lump on my stomach from where the bruise had swelled. I didn't exactly have a coverup for that yet and it would seem too suspicious to keep stalling to think of one.
I practically bounded to the elevator, taking huge, unladylike strides to reach it as fast as possible.
There were already several students, the majority of them actually, in class by the time I arrived. So then Miyako really was right about being late... When I first opened the door, nobody really thought anything of it and continued studying before class started. Not even the teacher look up from her desk to greet me after my ridiculously long absence. I heard a few pages flip as students kept reading and reviewing for tests or pop quizzes. Geez, I hadn't thought to expect a test... Next time I do this, I'll remember that.
When I closed the door, a few of the students turned from their books to look at who had just entered. Once they saw who it was, they couldn't look away, their mouths open in shock.
It was only a few minutes after I sat down at my desk that Pokkolymoayo-sensei looked up from her own book, whatever book that may be. I could see her eyes widen with the same shock the other students felt. And then I saw tears...something I really hadn't expected. I knew that she had a soft heart underneath all that tough-love personality, but the way she was fighting to hold her tears back didn't escape my attention.
Next thing I knew, I was being brutally crushed by what felt like the arms of some unrealistically strong gorilla. Looks like she had the strength to match her personality... I felt like I was going to explode if she squeezed me any tighter.
"Th-Thanks...sensei..." I managed.
She released me from her death grip and I immediately sucked in precious oxygen. "What happened, Maron?"
I felt kind of guilty for having her worry so much about me, but the last thing I wanted was that kind of concern, that genuine pity that everyone inflicts upon you. Those words that everyone always asks about major things like this. And most importantly, those awful questions everyone throws at you. They wanted you to talk, they wanted to know all the details. I just couldn't do that right now. It was a low probability, but maybe at some point further on the timeline, they would know about half of it.
I had to make something up. "Nothing much, I just got caught up in some stuff."
"What kind of stuff? What happened?"
"It's alright, sensei. Life just kind of got in the way, you know? I got really sick and I had to get surgery for it. It took me some time to heal, and it took longer for me to feel better again. Also, my cousin got married recently. I had to travel to an entirely different country to attend the wedding. When I got back, I got sick again. I've been locked up in my apartment ever since then, and I'm finally better, so I decided to go back to school." Geez... I would regret these lies later on, I just knew it.
"Oh, I'm sorry you got so sick," she breathed, as if a truck carrying thirty elephants had been lifted off her shoulders.
"I'm fine now, Pokkolymoayo-sensei," I assured her. I tried to smile, tried to put Happy Maron back on, at least for today, but I couldn't do it. My heart was too heavy. I thought there was a weight on top of it. Wish that weight would squish my heart, do me a favor.
I sighed as she returned to her desk. She left wordlessly. I wasn't sure if she was too relieved for words, or if she didn't know what else to say. Maybe she didn't want to burden me with any questions. Maybe this was her way of restraining herself from asking them. If that was the case, then I was more than grateful.
I sat in my chair and scooted up to my desk, pulling a textbook out and starting another chapter in History. I could already tell it was going to be a long day...
~Chiaki's POV~
I was shocked to find Maron missing when I woke up. I looked everywhere, from the living room to the bedroom to the kitchen to Miyako's apartment. She wasn't anywhere. Miyako was just as concerned when she learned Maron was gone. We both decided to skip school so we could look for her.
I refused Miyako's request to split up and broaden our search. Miyako's father wasn't home. Miyako's mother had been told about Maron's disappearance, and decided to wait at home in case Maron came back. With news of a recent kidnapper on the loose, I didn't want to take chances of another disappearance.
Luckily, there was no way the kidnapper had gotten hold of Maron. I had been staying with her this whole time, so she had left of her own accord.
Miyako and I looked and looked. We even talked to people who might have had contact with Maron. No one knew where she was. The people we talked to all said the same thing. They hadn't seen or heard from her.
We decided to talk to random strangers, describing a high school girl with brown hair, brown eyes, and fair skin. And also somewhat short in height. There were a few people who thought they had seen her, but when we checked it out, it wasn't Maron; it was just some other girl that happened to look a little bit like her.
Miyako suggested the police, but I wanted to wait for a bit. If she didn't come back by tonight, then we would tell Miyako's father about it, and he would likely launch an investigation. I wanted to wait, though, because I knew how distressed she was. I didn't blame her for wanting to separate herself from society. If even a tenth of my dream was true, then she had gone through a lot, too much for even the strong Maron to handle.
That was why I stayed. I wanted her to give me her burden. I wanted her to feel relieved. I wanted her to talk to me, to let me know what had upset her so much. I wanted to know why she had broken.
"Chiaki..." Miyako mumbled. "Do you have any idea why she's so depressed and angry?"
So it wasn't just me. Everyone around Maron had picked up on her sadness. I myself wasn't entirely sure. A dream alone wasn't enough to prove what was bothering her. Besides, there were many unrealistic dreams that seemed as real as mine had been. It didn't make it any less painful, but it was just a dream, just a vision of my subconscious mind.
"Sorry, she hasn't been very open with me. She's still trying to kick me out, even after all this time," I told her.
She sighed and we discussed where we should look next. Neither of us could come up with anything but to wait by our phones in case she called or came back.
It was afternoon by the time she came home, dressed in her school uniform.
~Maron's POV~
I opened my door and slipped inside. Hopefully Chiaki was gone and I could get back to the routine I had been in. But what kind of routine was that? All I ever did anymore, aside from today, was mope around lazily. Normally when I was sad I would work extra hard at rythmatic gymnastics, practicing with my ribbon the most. I jumped as high as I could, I flexed myself, I stretched regularly, I pushed myself like crazy. But I was in such a deep tench right now that I could redirect my emotions on school.
As soon as I got inside, Chiaki ran up to me. I immediately prepared myself for the lecture sure to come. He opened his mouth as if he was about to scream at me for leaving. But the lecture I was so sure about never came. His mouth seemed to sag as his eyebrows slowly returned to a normal position.
I waited, unsure of what he was going to do next, or even of what he was thinking right now.
"Chiaki," I began, snatching the opportunity to get a few words in before he lashed out, "I'm not as fragile as you think. I'm strong, strong enough to live on my own. I don't need you to take care of me."
He blinked, as if I had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
The surprise quickly wore off. "Maron, all I want to do is help you, not take care of you."
"I don't need help!"
"Yes, you do," he said calmly. "Something is torturing you, isn't it? That's why you lash out. That's why you get so angry. That's why you won't trust anybody."
"Yeah, well the last guy I trusted rap-!" I halted immediately, stuttering as I tried to grasp the reality of what I'd nearly said. I might as well have finished the word; it was pretty obvious what I was about to say.
"Raped?" he finished for me.
"...Someone I knew. He raped someone really close to me," I lied. I sniffled as tears gathered at the rims of my eyes.
Then Chiaki did the most unexpected thing. The one thing I would never have imagined he would do at a time like this. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into an unwanted embrace, refusing to let me go even as I struggled. He knew what he was doing. He knew I didn't want this. He knew that I needed this.
"That someone is you, isn't it?" he whispered in my ear.
I stiffened. The tears that had been so close to falling finally fell without my consent. I knew it was an unbelievable excuse, but I really didn't want anyone to know. Yet at the same time, I was glad someone had figured it out. After all this time spent hiding myself from the world, hiding my secret from everyone I thought I could trust, I had accidentally slipped on my own ice barrier. I had entrusted my secret to Chiaki, the one person who I never wanted to find out. I always thought Miyako would be the first. But Chiaki... Why did it have to be him?
I found myself burying my head into his shirt and nodding. I had officially sealed my fate. Now it was too late to go back. Even if I tried to play it off as a joke, it wouldn't work. Chiaki would never believe this was a joke. It was way too powerful to be a joke or a prank, or something done just for fun.
I noticed that I was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't help it. I had kept this to myself this whole time. For months I had to bear my secret alone, but now there was someone that shared my knowledge. It was a sweet moment for me. It was probably a bitter moment for Chiaki.
~Chiaki's POV~
She cried into me for at least two full hours. No wonder she didn't want to talk about it.
I made a single swift, involuntary movement. She stiffened. There wasn't a word to describe her voice. Even suppressed by my hand, her voice shrieked and seemed to shake my very heart. It was the loudest, most agonizing thing I'd ever heard in my entire life.
I uncovered her mouth. "How did that feel?"
She hiccuped as new tears came to replace the old ones. Her voice quivered. Her words were just barely below a whisper. "It...hurts..."
I blinked and almost jerked away from her. The "involuntary movement"... Could that have been...? No, that couldn't have been me.
She yelped. "Sinbad! Your name is Sinbad!" The poor girl's chest shook as she struggled to breathe through her fear.
No, I had simply put myself in place of whatever was going on. Couldn't really blame me for having doubts though. That entire dream had revolved around her and Sinbad. But I could never have done such a malicious act. It simply wasn't me.
Author's Note
Well, this may not be as long as you want it to be, but I forgot where I was going with Chiaki's stuff. So I decided to post this chapter anyway. Hope you enjoyed reading it!
