Chapter five - Time

The TARDIS started with a violent lurch, making all of them stumble. As soon as he'd gained his footing, Jack turned towards Rose and Alonso, not wanting to miss a second of the drama.

"You're pregnant?" Alonso asked incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because!" Rose made a frustrated gesture. "You'd be all like 'you can't go travelling between universes if you're preggers.'" Jack snorted, not even bothering to hide it, exchanging an amused look with Gwen.

"Of course I-" Alonso began.

"It's safe, I did my research-" Rose countered.

"I just-"

"It's not that-"

Alonso closed the gap between them, picking Rose up and swinging her around in a circle. "I'm very cross with you for not telling me, but-" A grin threatened to split his face in two as he laid a hand on her stomach.

"Scans!" the Doctor demanded, bounding past them towards the console.

"Yes!" Alonso agreed, raising a finger. "Lot's of scans!" He pulled a protesting Rose towards the console. "X-rays-"

"-ultra sounds-"

"-vitamins-"

"-a baby fez!"

"-instruction manuals-"

"-matching bow ties!"

"Books with pictures in them!"

"Oh I love those!"

"Hold on now-" Rose began protesting, struggling a bit. "You can't just-" she began as Alonso planted her hand on a scanner. The two men quickly read the results.

"Congratulations! It's a baby!" the Doctor beamed.

"Brilliant!" Alonso exclaimed, hugging a laughing Rose. "I'm gonna be a dad again," he said into her hair. The Doctor pounced, making the hug into a wobbly group hug. Jack invited himself. He loved group hugs.

"I get the feeling I missed something," River said, emerging from one of the doors.

-'-'-

They had a sofa.

Ianto had tried to come up with a catchy name for it, having only come as far as The Sofa, which, in all honesty, wasn't catchy at all. It was white, because apparently a little colour in this place would simply not do, and was big enough for three people Ianto's size. Ianto sat in his corner while Peetha sat in his. Or more like edging nearer Ianto, sitting right next to him when their hour was up.

"Did any of that make sense?" Peetha asked, now halfway over to Ianto.

"I guess." Ianto shrugged, feigning disinterest. He didn't want to seem too eager, learning about time was very interesting, though he had no idea why Peetha was teaching him about it. Should I ask? Would he answer truthfully?

"So, if you create a minor paradox by seeing yourself, time will repair itself, but it will bind you to both points in time, making them fixed points," Peetha repeated, looking at him with a smile that made Ianto long to reach out and touch him.

"Okay," he said instead, folding his hands in his lap. It's not Jack it's not Jack it's not Jack.

The fucking cats had taken Ianto's safe haven and now he felt adrift. He couldn't flee into the memories of Jack because another Jack sat in front of him.

Why didn't he recognize me when I stalked him applied for the job? The answer made a lump form in his throat. Because he'd forgotten about me. Just like his future self will forget about me when I'm gone. Something must have shown because Peetha touched his knee gently.

"You okay?" Don't be so sodding nice I can't-

"Sure," Ianto sassed. "Peachy." He stared sullenly at a spot on the floor wanting to hit something, preferably something furry and nun-ish.

"You're scheduled for one of your last procedures today," Peetha said with false cheer. This Jack Peetha was easier to read than Ianto's Jack, his masks not as set and well worn. "You must be excited."

Ianto gave him The Look. His Jack would have known he was in trouble, this one just looked at him confusedly. Like an adorable over-sexed puppy.

"Oh yes," Ianto said tonelessly.

"You're not?" Peetha, and it was so much easier thinking about him that way, looked genuinely confused.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" Ianto snapped. "I- I don't even know-" The startled himself by crying. That- he hadn't even-

"Hey." Peetha laid his arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. "Want to talk about it?"

I WANT TO TALK TO JACK! MY JACK.

Ianto shook his head numbly, shoulders shaking with sobs that just wouldn't stop.

-'-'-

"How long is this going to take, doc?" Jack asked. The Doctor scratched his head, watching Alonso and Rose dance, both of them laughing. It had been hours since they'd left Martha. At this point Jack was ready to chance it with his vortex manipulator. Just waiting threatened to drive him mad, he needed Ianto to be safe. He needed to feel like he was actually doing something, working towards that goal. Not just sitting here beingcompletely useless.

"Awhile," he finally said. "A few days or a few more hours, it's hard to tell. Like I said, we'll be travelling next to time. It's tricky." The Doctor squeezed his knee briefly. This version was more touchy-feely than the previous ones. If I'd travelled with him now... He shook his head, saving the thought for later. Taking a deep breath to dispel the choking feeling of worry, he looked around for another distraction. River seemed deeply engrossed in a conversation with Tosh and Amy, the three of them looking very secretively.

"So, what's the story about you and River?" Jack asked, both curious and desperate to keep his mind occupied. "She's not your typical companion-type?" he added, making it a question.

"I don't have a 'companion-type'," the Doctor spluttered, flailing his hands.

"Uh-huh. Not human girls in awe of the wonders of the universe and impressed by-"

"I don't have a type!" the Doctor insisted. Jack raised his eyebrows. "Don't give me that look!" the Doctor sulked. "Fine! You know what? Let's say, tohumour you, let's say I 'have a type', which I don't, because that's preposterous! But if I had a type I'd say I have more of a I-accidentally-invited-you-along-to-see-the-univer se-hope-you-like-it-and-brought-your-running-shoes type." He looked a bit sheepish as Jack laughed. He liked this Doctor too. He was different, but not that different.

"River is not like that, though?" he asked.

"God no and help me. Usually she just appears with a 'hello sweetie, I bring trouble, but I look fantastic. Oh, by the way, I'm driving your TARDIS!'" He made a frustrated gesture. "Always one step ahead, knowing stuff I don't." The Doctor made a face, frowning, making Jack crack up again. "She's a mystery."

"Sounds like your kind of girl," Jack grinned, nudging him. The Doctor shrugged, then grinned.

"You know, when I want to know entirely reasonable things, she just smiles this fabulously sneaky smile, saying 'spoilers'." He looked over at her, River most likely sensing it as she looked up with a smile and a wink.

Envy hit him unexpectedly, a nasty, clawing feeling. He did his best to suppress it, knowing the Doctor was as lonely as Jack himself. "Must be wonderful," he said gently, meaning it. "Every time she does, you know you'll get to see her again in your future," Jack explained. You'll never get lonely. You know you'll see a familiar face somewhere along the line. You won't lose everyone.

"Yeah..." the Doctor smiled happily. "Don't tell her I said so, but yes, it is. It is quite wonderful."

-'-'-

Today the world was a bit unfocused. The world outside of Ianto's head that was. It was like he was stuck in his own head, examining his own brain. His thoughts whirled around, sometimes impossible to grasp, sometimes so intense he didn't know if he'd said them out loud. It had started after his latest procedure, where he'd been forced into a machine that was all bright lights and crippling headache on the inside. When he'd gotten out his thoughts patterns had... changed. He couldn't put his finger on it. He'd always been very logical, but now he was aware of what made sense, thegravity of all decisions on a whole new level. It was unsettling. He needed time. He needed quiet.

He did not need a past version of Jack babbling in his ear. He tried to focus because he wanted knowledge. His love of knowing things was as strong as his love for coffee and Jack. Jack bringing him coffee with a knowing smile. Knowing stuff about Jack and coffee.

"Did you know 7 ounces of brewed coffee contains between 80-135 milligrams caffeine?" Ianto interrupted Peetha in the middle of explaining something, Ianto had no idea what. "2 ounces of espresso contains 100 milligrams though. That's a lot. I never give that to Jack. I mean, he doesn't sleep much as it is. And I kinda like having him in bed, sleeping. I watch him sleep sometimes. In an un-creepy kind of way. It's nice. His face that is." Ianto smiled fondly, closing his eyes, suddenly very tired. Leaning back against the The Sofa he willed his body to relax, sleep or unconsciousness were the only escapes at this point.

"...okay."

"I miss him." Ianto blinked his eyes open, not looking at Peetha, not able to stand that face without it being Jack's. "I love him, and I never said. We weren't like that. But I do. I wish I'd told him." He lulled his head to the side, not able to help himself, just wanting to see the familiar features.

"You can tell him whe-" Peetha began, silenced by Ianto's bitter laugh.

"Please. Like they'd ever let me go home." Saying the words out loud was almost physically painful.

"Well," Peetha began. "Your new species doesn't have a home planet, so I don't see why you wouldn't be able to return to yours."

"I do have a home planet- did you say new species?" Ianto asked faintly, air suddenly gone from his lungs.

"Yes," Peetha said, frowning. Ianto was going to throw up. He wasn't aware he was hyperventilating until Peetha grabbed him, instructing him to breathe with him.

Oh my god that's what they're doing oh god oh god please don't Jack Tosh anyone please save me please please please take me home please take me home I'm scared I miss you don't let them do this-

Then there was the now familiar sting of a needle in his arm and the panic gave way for blessed darkness.

-'-'-

Peetha watched the nurses carry Ianto back to his room, sitting back down on the couch.

Something about the other man bothered him. The way he'd looked at him the first times he'd seen him. Like he'd recognized him. He'd looked chocked and hopeful at the same time.

Someone from my future? That was... unsettling. But nice, because the man was gorgeous, in an awkward, sassy sort of way. I better be tapping that. He probably was.

Peetha sighed, laying down, a bit too tall to be entirely comfortable. Drumming his fingers against his arm, he tried to get a hold of himself. What had just occurred had made him very uncomfortable. There were supposed to be volunteers only, but it was more than obvious Ianto had had no idea what the nurses had been doing to him. Peetha didn't really have any prejudices, he'd sleep with any race but he wanted to remain who he was. Changing someone species was a huge fucking deal. He let out a slow breath.

What do I do? He frowned at the thought. Look out for number one. He couldn't afford to get sappy. But... Wouldn't I want someone to help Gray?That thought always got him in trouble. He rarely helped strangers, first rule as a Time Agent, don't empathize. Peetha had forced himself to grow cold, first as a soldier, later as an agent.

Except.

Except these last years had been too much. He'd begun noticing too much. At first he'd gotten stuck in a time loop with John, let himself hit rock bottom, not caring. Finally escaping, he took a good look at himself. That had been... difficult.

What would Gray say if he saw you now?

He sat up, restless. It had seemed easy enough, like a vacation almost. Teach him about time. Just four words. Then other four words had snuck up on him, taken the first words place.

He is so scared.

He did not know.

He is so beautiful.

He might be yours.

Peetha rubbed his eyes tiredly. What a mess. He heard footsteps down the hall and quickly sat himself up, running his fingers through his hair, probably making it look worse. Then again, he looked good in anything. Or nothing.

"Agent Smythe." The abbess folded her hands in front of her.

"Ma'am." He shot her a dazzling smile, saluting.

She rolled her eyes. "Any progress?"

"He's unfocused. Confused." Caffeine-deprived. He should try getting him some coffee.

"I see." She looked displeased. "Unfortunate... Things aren't going as well as we'd hoped."

Peetha swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling sick. "Ma'am?"

"We've never gotten this far with a subject before-" she stopped herself, changing her mind. "Same time tomorrow, agent."

"I-" Peetha cleared his throat, projecting an aura of self confidence. "He seems more at ease with me. Maybe I could be present for tomorrow's procedure? It'll make things run smoother." The abbess studied him for a few moments before nodding shortly.

"Tomorrow, 8am."

"Yes ma'am." Now all he had to do was come up with a plan. He would just offer comfort, he couldn't afford to do something reckless. He turned the nurse's words over in his head, we've never gotten this far with a subject before-, as he strolled down the corridor. He had research to do.