A/N: Okay folks, here is the re-write for the episode Many Happy Returns. I apologize if I make anybody angry by making Allison's character a bit more shifty but after all, the entire story is about Nathan and Allison switching roles. So...enjoy.


Nathan stood in an immaculate black suit with the newly promoted Sheriff Carter standing next to him. In front of him stood Brian Perkins and Nathan held the crying boy's shoulders as he stared into the holographic projection of his parents. Today was the funeral for Walter and Susan Perkins. He listened as Henry talked about Walter and Susan – how their legacy and their son were now in Eureka's hands. It was a short speech, but it made it's point as Brian walked forward and placed a rose on one of the coffins before rushing back to Nathan's side. Yes, Nathan Stark might be a complete and utter bastard at work but not even he could deny a mourning child comfort.

"I still don't get it," Nathan said as he walked beside Carter.

"What's that?" Carter asked, watching as Henry knelt down to talk to Brian.

"Susan committing suicide. I don't care how bad things are. Once you have a kid, you don't get to just check out," he stated hotly.

"Well, my daughter, Zoe, said pretty much the same thing to me when I told her I was being transferred to Eureka," Jack confessed.

"Taking a life and taking a job are hardly the same thing, Carter." Nathan stated.

"In this town? Not so sure," Carter answered before walking away. Nathan could do nothing but watch him leave.

~Sheriff's Office~

"I'm not sure this will all get worked out, Mrs. Perkins," Carter stated, staring at the woman in the chair. Nathan stood beside him and thought he was doing a pretty good job at not gawking. After all, they had just buried this woman earlier that same morning.

"I need to see Walter now," she demanded. "Walter was obviously trying to hurt me. And when I..." she broke off as she realized she was being stared at. "What? What are you all staring at?" She looked at the three people. Jo looked away and Carter broke the news.

"Sorry if we seem a little unnerved but...we just buried you this morning."

"You're unnerved? My parents called me in hysterics, because they got an invitation to my funeral, and a message saying that they had a grandson who needs a home. Which was all a big surprise to me seeing as how I'm not dead and I've never had a child." Nathan had to give this woman a hand – whether or not she really was Susan Perkins, she was taking the news of her death pretty well. Carter sent Nathan a look but Nathan remained as he was, arms crossed, staring at the woman sitting in front of them.

"Yeah, you win." Carter told her.

"We're just trying to figure out what's going on." Nathan told her.

"Then get Walter in here and ask him," she ordered. Nathan glanced at the Sheriff.

"You didn't tell her?" he asked. Carter sighed and hung his head.

"I was getting to it."

"Tell her what?" Susan asked.

"Walter's dead," Nathan told her, deciding a straightforward approach was best.

"...Walter's dead?" she repeated.

"Yeah...he sort of...blew himself up." Jack told her. Susan stared at the Sheriff before realizing he was serious.

"Oh my god. What? You're not joking?" Jack shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Susan," Nathan told her, attempting to sound sincere.

"Hold on," Jo interrupted. "If she's Susan Perkins, then who did we..." she trailed off, pointing in the direction of the cemetery. Well, crap. They all stared at the woman.

"You're staring again," she stated irritably.

"Yeah, do you mind if I ask you how you and Walter met?" Jack asked. Susan sighed but started talking.

"I was a grad student at MIT. He was a post-doc." She stood and began pacing with her arms crossed in front of her. "We got married right after graduation, and he wanted to start a family, but I wasn't ready." She stood still as she reached Jo's desk and began wringing her fingers. "One morning this...guy... came to the door and wanted to talk to Walter about some top-secret job. He wanted to go, I wanted to stay. So we separated."

"You do realize that we are gonna have to verify that so we can sort this thing out." Jack stated as Susan crossed back toward the chair she had been sitting in.

"How long is that gonna take?" she demanded, her emotions finally getting the better of her.

"I'm not really sure." Carter told her honestly. "It's not like we have a standard form to undead you," he told her. Nathan bit back a grin as Jo cleared her throat. "Tell me you're kidding!"

"924/B. In triplicate." She told him.

"We'll still need to confirm your identity," Nathan told Susan, cutting off a heated discussion between the Sheriff and Deputy.

"How are you going to do that?" she asked.

"We're gonna do a DNA test," Carter told her. Oh, Nathan loved his job.

"Oh, we can do better than that," he said with a grin. "But we're still going to need to do some digging." He waited for it.

"Oh, you mean I'm going to have to go back to the – "

"Ye-es," Nathan told him, smirk in place.

"Well, someone's gotta get me a coroner." Jack argued.

"That's right." Nathan agreed, pointedly refusing to offer.

"Just do what you have to do." Susan stated, interrupting the pseudo-argument. "I just want to get back to my normal life."

"Yeah, I can relate," Jack stated, keeping his eyes on Nathan as he said it. He turned around and left before Nathan could reply and the scientist was beginning to think that he might just be a little in love with Jack Carter.

~Global Dynamics~

"So you met the new director yet?" Jack asked as he followed Nathan through the hallways.

"Not yet. They just arrived. Global Dynamics is under DARPA jurisdiction and they get a little crazy about sharing information," Nathan stated, clearly miffed that he hadn't been told who the new director was. "Hence our visit."

"What's DARPA?" Jack asked.

"The Defense Advanced Research Project Agency. It's the central research arm of the D.O.D. That stands for – "

"Yeah, I know what it stands for," Jack snapped and Nathan smirked. Sometimes the Sheriff made it too easy. "Okay, so why am I here?"

"Well, you want to use the new molecular bio-scanner on Susan Perkins' body and this new woman, right?"

"May...be..."

"Yeah. Well, all requests to use laboratory resources for police applications must be submitted to the Director of Research."

"Who we haven't met yet," Jack stated, catching up.

"Exactly," he stated as they entered the room. "Allison?" he asked. A petite brunette in a pant-suit with a blue top turned around.

"Nathan," she stated, smiling. "I swear I was just about to call you."

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked as he crossed his arms. "You're not...?"

"No. You are. I'm the new liaison." She told him.

"You're moving back to Eureka?"

"Moved actually," she corrected, walking forwards. "Yesterday. Surprise!" She smiled. Nathan looked away, clearly unhappy. Awkward silence ensued and Jack looked at Nathan, waiting to follow his lead. "I probably should have called sooner," Allison stated.

"Probably," Nathan agreed.

"You must be the new sheriff I've heard so much about. Allison Blake," she greeted.

"Jack Carter," he replied, shaking her hand. "So, you two used to work together?" Jack asked, trying to regain his footing. Nathan clearly wasn't going to be much help seeing as how he was doing his best to avoid even looking at the woman in front of them.

"I mainly worked with his son, Kevin, but Nate and I had our moments." Allison said. Jack tried not to grin at the nickname. Nathan didn't look like a 'Nate' kind of guy.

"Anyway," Jack stated, turning to the man standing next to him. "Since you're the director, can I use your bio scanner-molecule-thingy?" he asked.

"Do you even think before you open your mouth?" Nathan asked. "It's called a – "

"Molecular bio-scanner. Can I use it?" Jack asked, grinning impishly.

"...did you mangle it just to annoy me?" Nathan asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Did it work?" Jack shot back.

"Nathan, with you taking over over as the Director, you've got a lot of work to catch up on," Allison interrupted. Nathan shot her an irritated look before Fargo cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, Ms. Blake, but Maggie's taking care of your parking space and the new furniture should be delivered tomorrow."

"Seems like you've got a lot to catch up on yourself, Allison," he told her.

"Sheriff, it was a pleasure to meet you," she told him succinctly. "Nathan..." she gave him a long once over. "It's good to see you." She smiled before turning around and following the other man. After an awkward silence Jack stated,

"Well you two have a history."

"You could say that," Nathan agreed. "She's my wife." He spit the word out like it was poison before turning and walking down the hallway.

~The Next Morning~

"Okay Ms. Perkins, we're ready for your bio scan. Now just hold still, this won't take long." Fargo told her.

"I'm over here, jackass," she stated and Fargo whirled away from the dead body to address the live one. Jack bit back a laugh.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Here we go." He began punching buttons on his hand-held device and both tables slid into the scanner.

"So this'll tell us if the new Susan is identical to the one that we buried?" Jack asked Henry.

"Even more accurate than a DNA test," Henry told him. Silence fell as the specs began scrolling along the screen and Henry turned away, going to talk to Fargo. "Nathan," he greeted as the scientist entered the room.

"Hi," he said tiredly, sighing as he stood next to Jack.

"You okay?" the Sheriff asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Allison and I just got into it last night, and Kevin had a nightmare, he did all these terrifying ghost drawings and... You know, forget it, it's nothing." Nathan told him, realizing that he was pouring everything out to Jack. He'd never done that before in his life.

"Okay," Jack said easily, watching the figures roll on the screen. "So...Kevin isn't Allison's son?"

"No." Nathan told him.

"But you are still married," he stated, nodding his head. Nathan chuckled.

"You're awfully curious," he teased.

"I'm a cop; it's my nature." Jack told him.

"Allison and I separated last year. We just haven't gotten down to the final paperwork." Jack nodded. "What's with the look?" The scientist demanded.

"There was no look!" Jack denied.

"There was a look."

"None of my business!"

"...that's right." They both looked at each other from the corner of their eyes and grinned.

"You're not going to believe this!" Henry called.

"Oh, they're both Susan Perkins," Jack replied.

"Down to the last protein chain," Henry confirmed. "Chromosomes, cell differentiation – I mean all the markers are identical." He paused. "How did you know?" he asked Jack.

"I was reading Walter's personnel file last night. Guess what the subject of his first dissertation was? Stem cell replication." Sometimes, Nathan really just wanted to kiss the Sheriff. The man was utterly brilliant in his own right.

"Are you saying Walter cloned his own wife?" Nathan asked.

"Not exactly. Walter went way beyond cloning," Henry told her. "He recreated Susan cell by cell as a full-grown adult. I mean, she may look thirty, but chronologically those tissues can't be more than seven years old. Tops." Henry told them.

"A year older than her son, that's creepy." Nathan stated.

"Susan was right," Jack muttered. "Walter wanted a family, with her...or with her," he finished, pointing to the dead body still laying in the scanner.

~The Next Morning~

"That's why you collapsed? An electrolyte imbalance?" Jack asked incredulously, trying to ignore the fact that Nathan's shirt was still open.

"I'm just telling you what the doctors told me," Nathan told him.

"And they have no idea what caused it," Jack stated flatly.

"Ye-es. My electrolytes are out of balance." Nathan replied, grinning. Sometimes the Sheriff just made it too easy.

"Oh, Nathan," Jack sighed, grinning and shaking his head.

"Don't worry," Nathan assured, "I'm fine."

"Who said I was worried?" Jack teased.

"Wishful thinking," Nathan said, staring straight at the other man. A throat being cleared called their attention to Allison as she walked into the room.

"Oh, Susan Perkins is asking for you," Jack told her. "Henry told her about the whole... uber-clone thing." She sighed, glaring at the Sheriff before turning to Nathan.

"I have to go deal with this," she told him. Nathan paused before shaking his head.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere." She sighed in irritation before turning to Jack.

"Come on." She ordered.

"Sheriff," Nathan called "Talk to you for a sec?" Jack was beginning to think he was in the middle of some sort of weird power struggle between the married couple. If that was the case, he knew which side he was staying on.

"Sure," he agreed, ignoring the dark look Allison aimed in his direction. "I'll catch up." he told her. Nathan sighed as he forced his body out of bed as soon as Allison left. "Shouldn't you be staying in bed?"

"No, I should be getting back to work. I didn't want to say anything with Allison in the room but I saw something. Something I'd like to keep between us?" he asked.

"Okay, shoot."

"There was an electrical problem with the computers," Nathan informed him as he tugged down his shirt sleeves and buttoned the cuffs. "And then I saw...something. A figure."

"Are you saying someone was in your office?"

"Not someone, something," Nathan clarified. "It wasn't entirely corporeal." he told Jack as he finished buttoning his shirt.

"Corporeal?" he asked.

"Physical," Nathan sighed. "There and not there at the same time?" he asked as he began tucking in his shirt.

"Are you saying you saw a ghost?" Jack asked, trying not to grin.

"Sheriff, Director of Research at the most advanced scientific facility in the world doesn't see ghosts." Jack said nothing for a moment, merely grinned widely at the other man.

"I'll check it out," he finally stated.

"Thanks. She'll try to get you to sleep with her," Nathan informed the Sheriff as he turned to walk out of the room.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, turning around.

"Allison. She'll try to get you to sleep with her to make me mad."

"Mm, good thing she reminds me of my ex-wife then. I'll let you know where I get with the ghost," Carter shouted as he turned down the hallway. It took a good five minutes before Nathan was able to wipe the grin off his face.

~Later That Day~

"He doesn't seem to remember much from before the accident. We may never know exactly what happened," Beverly told Stark.

"How convenient for him," Stark responded, his tone clearly indicating that he didn't believe a single thing Beverly told him. She made no reply before leaving.

"You idiot," Jack told him as he stood next to him, a note of fondness in his voice. "You're supposed to be walking off that electrical surge," he told him. "I heard what the doctor said," Jack told him when Nathan tried to argue. Nathan sighed but began walking around. "So what happens now?"

"Temporal rehabilitation," Nathan told him.

"Quit using big words on purpose," Jack groused.

"Think physical therapy but a whole lot more expensive." Nathan told him, chuckling.

"I was talking about Susan," Jack told him, fighting back a grin. "You think she's going to stay?"

"For Brian's sake, I hope so."

"Aw, there is a human side to you," Jack teased. "But wow, I thought my family was dysfunctional."

"Nathan, can I have a word with you," Allison called. The two men quit walking and Jack dropped his arm from where he'd been supporting Nathan.

"I guess I better go," Nathan told him, not moving.

"Yeah, I got to fill out a report on this anyway and I still don't know how to spell corporeal, so..." Carter joked and Nathan's grin turned into a laugh as Henry walked by and spelled it out loud for him. "Get some rest," Jack told Nathan. "And tell your wife I'm glad she's feeling better."

"Yeah..." Nathan trailed off before moving to talk to Allison. He decided then and there that it was time to finally finish the paperwork for the divorce. It'd be one less obstacle between himself and Sheriff Carter.

~Review~