Chapter 3
Tim opened his eyes in the predawn light and sat up. He felt almost normal...except for that continuing undercurrent of...something unpleasant that he just couldn't quite touch. He didn't like the feeling.
He sat up and looked around the room. He really didn't feel like he'd slept for an entire night.
"Good morning, Tim."
Tim turned and smiled at Kate.
"You haven't changed," he said.
Kate smiled. "That's because I'm dead. Hard to be different."
"But is this real?" Tim asked.
Kate laughed.
"That's a silly question, Tim."
"Why?"
"Because, think about it, if it's real, then, of course, I'm going to say it's real. If it's just a dream you're having, then, I wouldn't know it was and I'd react as if it were real. So the question...it's moot."
"I'm okay with that."
"Good. You feel like getting up?"
"Yeah." Tim stood up.
"Feeling all right?" Kate asked.
"Yeah...mostly. Something is just...off."
"I'm sure it is."
Tim looked over at Kate. She wasn't happy, and that was too bad. He wished that she had the sparkle in her eye that he remembered. Kate led him out of the town to a cliff overlooking a heavily-forested valley.
"This is beautiful. Where is it?"
Kate smiled. "Shenandoah."
"But...that..."
"Isn't possible?"
"Not in my experience."
"Tim, this isn't the real world."
"Right. You said. ...but why are you here?"
"Because I'm not ready to leave."
"But...Kate...it's been seven years!"
Kate shook her head.
"Not to me, it hasn't. Tim...there's no time here. Or at least not real time. It was dark because you were tired. It got lighter because you woke up...but the sun hasn't risen because I wasn't ready for it to rise."
"But...there are other people...spirits...whatever... here, not just us. I saw them."
"It's true. There are."
Tim gave up trying to understand and focused on Kate instead.
"Kate, it's not right for you to still be here. You know there's more out there. You know that...that there's something bigger. Why would you be stuck in a place like this?"
"Because I can't accept the way I died. Tim, it was so pointless...and I was used to cause pain for others. That's what my death was. A man I let deceive me...he used me to hurt other people, people I care about. What kind of a death is that?"
"Is any death really worth it?"
"Yes," Kate said fervently. "Yes, there are deaths that mean something. I was Secret Service. If I had given my life to protect the President, that would have meant something." She looked at Tim. "If I had died in the line of duty, protecting any one of you, that would have meant something. But I didn't. I died standing on a rooftop, a bullet through my brain and all that was left of that...was pain. I saw you all trying to deal with my death because it was meaningless!"
"No," Tim said. "It was because we cared about you. We didn't want you to die, but we would have felt that way if you had died saving Gibbs...or Tony...or me. We would have felt that way."
He reached out his hand and cupped it around her face, surprised, for a moment, that he could touch her at all.
"We would have missed you, Kate. ...and I'll bet Tony would back me up if he were here, you don't deserve to be here. You should go on and stop hanging out in limbo like this."
Kate covered Tim's hand with her own. She felt alive. She felt warm and real and...and...alive.
"Tony would be making jokes and you know it."
"But he'd say what he meant, too."
"Maybe." Kate turned away from him and looked out over the valley. "I didn't want my life taken from me like this."
"I didn't want your life taken from you, either, Kate. It took me a long time to...to accept it."
Tim felt himself blush as he remembered the ways he had imagined her. Kate noticed.
"What, Tim?"
"Uh...nothing."
Kate laughed.
"What."
"You can't...read my mind or...or anything, right?"
"No. Being dead doesn't give me ESP."
"Good."
"Why?"
"Well...there may have been...a couple of...times that...that I imagined you...after you died."
"Imagined me? What do you mean?"
Tim looked at her. "You were my superhero...and at first, I thought of you...and you were like...Trinity. You know...from The Matrix."
Kate laughed. "I know that's a compliment coming from you, Tim."
"But then...I swear that Tony must have been infecting my brain...and I won't tell you what that means."
"If you're mentioning Tony and imagination...I don't think I want to know what that means."
"And then...I opened a file cabinet and it was like I saw you there, looking up at me. Asking me to come down to Autopsy and see you because you were lonely." Tim looked at Kate and said the same words he had said to her. "I really did like you, Kate. A lot."
Before he could say anything else, there was a splitting of reality. He wasn't looking at Kate anymore. He was lying on the ground, in the dark. He could hear a child crying. There was noise and chaos, people running and shouting. He tried to move, tried to do something. He tried to get to the crying child. He needed to be safe, but he couldn't move. He couldn't do anything. He was helpless.
"McGee! Where are you? Come on, man. This isn't funny anymore."
Tim tried to say something, but instead, the darkness began to fade and he heard another voice.
"Go back, Tim. Go. That's where you need to be!"
"Kate."
He opened his eyes and there was the cliff. Kate was holding his hand tightly and she looked simultaneously relieved and saddened when he sat up.
"What just happened?"
"You were on your way back. Why did you stay here where you shouldn't be?" Kate asked.
"I...I can't leave you alone here," Tim said.
Kate sighed with exasperation.
"Tim, I'm not alone. And I'm dead, remember?"
Tim felt more distressed than he could explain when he looked at her and knew that she wasn't moving on. He turned toward her and took hold of her hands.
"Kate...your body is dead, but not who you really are. If you were just dead, then, I wouldn't be seeing you here. This place...whatever it is...it's real because you are real. Your spirit, whatever you want to call it, is you...and I don't want to leave you here...miserable because you wanted to go out in a blaze of glory! There is no way that we could have lost you that would have been okay. No way at all, Kate. But it would be easier if we knew that you were happy where you are...and you're not, here. Kate, you're not and you, of all people, should be happy."
Kate looked at him, her eyes shining with tears. For a moment, she didn't move and then, she leaned forward and hugged him tightly.
"Tim, when did you get to be so eloquent?" she asked in a muffled voice.
Tim smiled. "I've had seven years to stop stammering."
Kate pulled back.
"Just like the song. Seven years since last I saw you."
Tim chuckled. "I just heard that song before...whatever happened. There was a woman singing it on the street."
"What?"
"Yeah. It's a beautiful song. I almost wanted to go off to Shenandoah myself when I heard her singing."
"Did she seem to disappear?"
"Yeah. Why?"
Kate seemed extremely worried by that. Much more so than Tim would have expected from a coincidental song. She seemed to have forgotten what they were talking about before.
"Tim, do you remember what she looked like?"
"Uh...she was young." He thought some more and then shook his head. "No. I don't remember. I was mostly paying attention to the song. Why? What's so important about this?"
Kate got up and put out her hand. Tim took it and let her pull him to his feet. Then, they started away from the cliff. Tim looked back once as they left. The cliff was gone. Just trees were in its place.
They walked together to Jude's house in the center of the town. Tim looked around and noticed that there were different buildings again.
"Jude! There's something else going on!" Kate said as they walked inside.
Jude was there and he looked at Kate with some surprise.
"What is it?"
"Tim heard a woman singing, just like the others before. He heard her just before he went to Shenandoah."
Jude's expression was also concerned. He looked at Tim.
"You're sure that was the song you heard?"
"Yeah. What's so special about that? It's a folk song about this area. I've heard it before. What's going on?"
"Sometimes...people don't come here," Jude said. "They don't want to leave, but it's more than that. They refuse and their spirits get trapped in the real world. The problem is that there's nowhere for them to go from there. It becomes a prison for them. This place is a stopping point. It's not supposed to be permanent." He looked at Kate. "But it is a place to stop. It's a place to get one's bearings before going on. It's here for a reason. Some people only pass through on their way, but they do pass through."
Tim looked at Kate and then at Jude.
"So...what does that mean?"
"It means that you saw one of those spirits. They can hear and see more than you can. She probably could see something coming. She was hoping to follow you here. Did you see her in the forest?"
"No. There was no one except Tony...and the guy we were tracking down."
There was another trembling, and Tim felt someone shaking him.
"Please, mister. Please...don't be dead. I don't know what to do!"
"Tim, you can go back."
Tim opened his eyes and the trembling vanished. He took a breath.
"I don't like that," he said. "It's...weird."
Kate laughed briefly at the description but became solemn once more.
"Did she cause this, you think?" she asked Jude.
"I doubt it. She's a spirit. She wants a ride. She doesn't have any power over people's lives...and she's not evil, Kate."
"So...why is this so important?" Tim asked.
"Because she's a lost soul," Jude said. "Lost souls, like lost causes, fall under my purview. I'm naturally concerned about helping her."
"But can't you just go and bring her here?"
Jude shook his head.
"I'm bound by rules just like everyone else, Tim. When someone breaks the rules, I can't break them myself to make things better. ...but there is a way."
"What?"
"You can lead her here."
"How? I can't even go back myself," Tim said. "And I don't know how I got here...and I thought I was supposed to be going back, not traveling there and back here again."
"I'll give you the key, and you can pass it on."
"How? She's not in the forest."
"She will be. If she tracked in on you, she'll be there."
"But...how will I go back?"
Jude smiled and withdrew from the room, leaving Tim and Kate alone.
"Did I miss something?" Tim asked.
"Tim, you'll go back when you let me go."
"But, Kate..."
"No, Tim. I'm dead. That's not going to change...and I'll work things out."
"But, Kate...I can't just...leave you here. I..." Tim flushed at what he almost said. It seemed wrong.
"What, Tim?"
"I never said it, and it might have been a good thing because...because I'm sure it would have been inappropriate, but I...I kind of...fell in love...with you."
Kate's eyes widened in surprise.
"What?"
"I know. It's ridiculous but...I really liked you, Kate. I almost felt like...like I missed an opportunity, like I'd squandered something by not...not telling you before. I wasn't going to tell you now, but here it is...and seeing you again... I can't just leave you here so miserable."
Kate stepped close to him and then, to Tim's surprise, she kissed him. ...on the cheek. She felt real. When she stepped back, there was a different expression on her face, something more complete, more accepting.
...more whole.
"Thank you, Tim."
"For what?"
"For telling me what I needed to hear."
"That is what you needed to hear?" Tim asked, incredulously.
Kate smiled. "I can't explain it, but thank you."
Then, Jude was there. He walked over.
"Tim, are you ready?"
"I don't know what to do," he said and then, he looked at Kate again. "If I go back, I'll never see you again, will I."
"No, but it's all right, Tim," Kate said. "It'll be all right, and you have a lot of life to live. Don't let me keep you here."
"Will you move on?" he asked.
"Yes. I will."
"You're not just saying that?"
Kate smiled. "No. It won't be right away, but I will, Tim. For you, I will."
Jude stepped close to Tim. Tim looked at him and then, Jude reached out and gently closed Tim's eyes. He touched Tim's eyelids firmly. The substance around him seemed to fade away into black, and then, he heard a whisper.
"Reach out to her. Tell her that Shenandoah is waiting. She'll come. Tell her."
Something was in his hand. He clenched it tightly.
There was a shock and the town, the building, Jude, Kate...they all disappeared.
