Vulnerable - Chapter 4
As planned, Ste pops round with some dinner for Brendan who convinces him to stay.
Brendan's pov
'Brendan, it's only me. Open up!'
Steven was back, knocking at the front door.
He'd kept his word then, Brendan knew he would though. Steven always was true to his word, even if it meant sneaking behind his fiancé's back. Brendan was the one who threw around empty promises, it made his stomach clench at the amount of times he'd let Steven down, and even after everything, here he still was, the boy with bright eyes and a crooked smile, unable to stay away from Brendan.
Brendan located the crutches next to the sofa, had learnt from his earlier mistake of trying to move on his own legs unaided. He just about managed to lean towards the door to turn the handle.
'I've got enough food in ere to feed a small Irish army yeah?'
Steven breezed through as though he owned the place. If he was being honest, that suited Brendan fine.
'Now don't say I don't do anythin for ya.'
Steven was already in the kitchen now, bustling around unpacking the food that he'd already prepared. Brendan was in awe at how he could light up a room instantly.
Steven was carrying him over a tray now to where he sat on the sofa still, carefully placing it on Brendan's lap for him. Nevermind the food, Brendan could smell Steven's scent, a mix of lynx, shampoo, and fried food, and it suddenly wasn't the food he wanted to devour anymore.
'It's lasagne, hope that's alright.'
'Anything ye cook is more than alright Steven.'
Ste blushed at the sentiment.
'Well there's jam roly poly too for afters.'
Brendan licked his lips.
'Ye spoil me, ye know that.'
Ste brushed it off.
'Aren't ye gonna join me?' Brendan asked. He felt a bit awkward sitting here eating a meal that Steven had made for him if he wasn't even eating himself.
'Ermm..well I…' Ste was blushing and stuttering.
'There's enough isn't there?' It was more of a statement than a question from Brendan, cornering Ste so there was no way out.
'Ermm, alright…yeah….I mean, Doug's out with Leanne any way which were why I could come over so, ermm..I'd only be at home on me own any way.'
'See Steven, it makes perfect sense.' Brendan smiled.
Ste's pov
Ste made his way back to the kitchen to grab himself a portion as Brendan happily tucked in to the food on his lap. Ste made sure to leave a little bit left though as he knew that Brendan always liked seconds. That man's appetite was insatiable! He didn't mind being here though, even though it probably wouldn't go down too well with Doug, he was out having a good time with Leanne, and well….Ste still did enjoy Brendan's company, he couldn't deny that.
He went and sat down on the opposite sofa to Brendan, wanted to give them both some space to eat properly, however, if Ste was being really honest, he still felt awkward about what had happened earlier. Brendan was relaxed as ever, but Ste couldn't help but wonder whether it was part of an act, and whether deep down he was buzzing with the tension just as much as Ste was.
'Mmmm s'good' Brendan grunted in approval half way through a mouthful. Was never one for manners was Brendan.
'Don't eat too quick, you'll give ya self indigestion ya will.' Ste laughed.
Brendan ignored him as Ste expected and continued to shovel in the lasagne.
'Anythin decent on telly then?' Ste asked.
Brendan nodded towards the remote on the coffee table, still focused on his meal. Ste decided on a cooking programme and let the tv fill the silence while he and Brendan ate.
Enjoying his last mouthful Ste suddenly became aware that he was being watched. He subconsciously blushed and turned in Brendan's direction, meeting his eyes and suddenly swallowing his food down in a lump. He jumped up before the situation could get any more awkward.
'Ready for some roly poly then?' He suddenly cringed at the possible innuendo which didn't go amiss with Brendan who managed a feeble smirk. He still looked rather vulnerable sat there, crutches propped up against the sofa, stitches adorning his face. Ste found it strange suddenly being the one in control, the person who was holding him together. What he didn't know was that he'd always been holding Brendan together, ever since they'd first met.
After dishing up the dessert and passing Brendan his bowl, Ste sat down next to him now without thinking about what he was doing. Brendan didn't flinch, and it was only when Ste let himself sink back in to the sofa in comfort that he realised just how close to Brendan he was when his head nearly rested on his arm. He shuffled to his left awkwardly and leant forward to place his bowl on to the carpet. As he did so, he felt the warmth of Brendan's hand on his knee. Ste's head shot round to see what an earth Brendan was playing at. Ste knew he was just as much to blame for what happened earlier, but he couldn't let that happen again, he wanted to be faithful to Doug, he really did, and that had to start now.
'Brendan, what are ya….?'
'Thank you Steven'
Ste gave him a confused look.
'I wanted to say thank you, for err….for lookin after me I guess. Ye didn't have to.'
Ste relaxed a bit now and gave Brendan a smile.
'Well I were hardly gonna leave ya were I? I mean, Cheryl's not speakin to ya, ya legs aren't exactly workin.'
'Steven!'
Oops, that came out a bit harsh. Ste laughed at his own bluntness.
'I'm sorreh' he smirked. Brendan didn't look amused however, was clearly trying to have a heart to heart here which didn't come easy for someone like Brendan.
'Well I guess I should be the one saying sorry Steven…..sorry you felt the need to lie to Douglas because of me.'
'Look..it's fine Brendan alright?' Ste sighed, he didn't want to drag all of this up again.
'No one made me lie to Doug, I decided on me own that it were for the best, but I know now that it's probably stupid….all of this sneakin around.'
Brendan remained silent, but he couldn't look Ste in the eye.
'Look…' Ste knew he had to broach the subject at some point, it was just screaming out in the silence.
'What happened earlier right, well….it shouldn't happen again.'
Brendan made a sarcastic grunt, still not meeting Ste's eye.
'Look at me Brendan!' Ste was getting irritated now. He cupped Brendan's chin and forced his face around to look at his own.
'I still care about ya, course I do, you're me mate. But that's all it can be ok? I'm gonna marry Doug.' Ste had to swallow then, for some reason bile had formed in his throat and he had to force it back down to continue his speech. It's just nerves he thought, nerves because he didn't like hurting Brendan, but this had to be said…..it had to.
Brendan's pov
Steven was still cupping his chin, forcing him to look him in the eye, something he was struggling to do right now. Brendan knew where this conversation was going, and it wasn't in a direction that he liked. Staring at Steven now made it even more obvious however just how nervous he looked. Steven's adam's apple was jutting out as he swallowed down hard, forcing himself to finish his sentence. He looked flustered, but to Brendan, this made him all the more beautiful.
'I know ya goin through a tough time and that, so I'll be ere as much as I can to help ya….but obviously I do need to put Doug first as well….'
Brendan could hear his voice, but wasn't paying attention to what he was actually saying. 'Damn! When did Steven's eyelashes get so long?' he thought.
'I'll try and talk to Cheryl for ya…I dunno what's gone on between you two but it can't be nothin ya can't fix right?…..Brendan? Are ya listenin to me?'
'Huh?' Brendan blinked himself out of a daydream, however he soon felt like he was still in one when Steven's face was now leant in even closer to his in an attempt to get him to concentrate.
'I said…..'
But before Steven could even continue, Brendan was leaning in for the kiss that he'd been craving all night.
Steven shot back like he'd been electrocuted and Brendan instantly cursed himself for being a fool, fucking it all up yet again.
Steven had already jumped to his feet and was frantically looking around for his jacket.
'I'm here as a mate right? That wasn't fair!'
Brendan shook his head in disbelief then. This wasn't fair? THIS wasn't fair? He found himself voicing his frustrations out loud:
'This isn't fair Steven? THIS isn't FAIR? So it's ok to go and watch ye be with someone else is it? Let ye MARRY someone else? And then…and then ye turn up here, act all concerned….try and have SEX with me….and now THIS isn't fair?' He was losing his temper now.
Ste looked taken aback for a second but was now making his way towards the door, as feisty as he was, there were certain types of confrontation that Steven couldn't handle, mainly when he was in the wrong, therefore yet again he was taking the easy option and walking out the door leaving Brendan to stew in the mess they'd just created.
'You know what Brendan..I don't need this right now.'
He turned the door handle.
'You don't need this right now? YOU don't need this?'
'This were a bad idea.'
And before Brendan could protest, Steven was out of that door just as quickly as he'd come in.
Brendan threw his crutches across the floor in anger and squeezed his eyes shut to block everything out.
'BASTARD! You complete and utter bastard Steven!'
So I totally nicked a couple of lines from other episodes ;)
Sorry if this wasn't the way you expected this chapter to go but it just isn't Stendan without some angst and sassy arguments.
Have already started writing the next chapter though, and I'm hoping it's going to be a cracker :D But first things first…..let me know what you think of this one ;)
