Carl Stevens Unierse

Chapter 2: Symbiotic Plan

Beginning AN:

I believe everything I can say about this story in general without spoiling this chapter has been covered in the first's beginning and closing ANs. I don't have anything to say for now without giving much away (pretty much everything that happens here is a spoiler by this fic's standards), aside from how this is planned to be the last opening AN I make without any real commentary! After this, I'm just gonna skip from the chapter title straight to the content!

...It would probably be a bit more... "lonely?" like this I guess?


Armed with no less than five paint guns at a time each, the mighty four went through the same routine they did every third day before.

"Carl!" Steven shouted into the forest. "The sun's almost down! Where are you?"

All four members sped into their usual position at the opening to the woods, guns in tow.

"Let's get this over with! Let the game of your new dumb paintball begin!"

"Woah woah woah," Carl said, waving out his hands. "First of all, I call the match. Second of all this isn't even any paintball, kid. It's something called Ed Paintball. Haven't you heard of this brilliant new game scheme? The Ed- brand means you can do practically anything. No needless rules bogging me down."

"And do these rules include what geographical limits the game is played?" Pearl asked with a smirk. Carl started ahead.

"Uh..."

Rip bumped his shoulder. "She means the place where we have the match."

"Oh, right! Yeah sure, if you're getting tired of the woods-"

"Well that's convenient. We thought you were getting tired of that same old forest, practicing three times a day every day after you won."

"Yeah that's right," Carl tried to force a smirk on his own, but apparantly his dislike towards Garnet's move at the end of the previous round canceled out the emotion that would be added to his ego. "We're even stronger than we were before. Once you step into these woods, we become killing machines. Oh, and PS, we started after we lost the first match."

"Good. Then we'll stay out of the woods."

"I- oh... clever. Well then, let's not stall any more," He did his signature clap again, "Let the games begin!"

Within flashes of light, Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst were all transformed into red, aqua, and purple squirrels. Steven looked over at them, appearing to be uncertain, as the first scurried in the direction of the city, the second towards the forest, and the third to the new Hellsing Manor.

"Garnet!" Steven cried, chasing after the red squirrel, "Wait up!"

Hellsing, meanwhile, looked at the scene in confusion. Carl was the first to have any motion to a part beyond his eyes, after his sight locked in on the purple squirrel's destination and he began chasing after her. "Oh no you don't! That's my house, you hear me, my house!"

The other three members of Hellsing were still dumbfounded.

"Captain," Rip said in an attempt to break the silence, "Why don't you go after the big one and the boy? Carl's got his hands full, and Seras and I can handle Pearl. After all, stalking the woods is more of a vampire thing than a werewolf thing."

He nodded, taking off after the only Gems who formed a pair.


It was no surprise at all that Captain had caught up to Steven at a near-instantanious rate. In fact, if one was surprised in the scene, it was Hans himself. Particularly at the part where Steven aimed one of his numerous guns at him (the others long being tucked away in that cheeseburger-shaped backpack of his), causing him to briefly jump back to a point father away from them. Although he figured that this wouldn't do them any good, seeing as they were in the middle of a large, flat, barren patch of dirt.

Garnet glowed again, regaining her more familiar form and quickly cloaking her hands in guantlets following the transformation.

"Now, Garnet!" Steven shouted.

She jabbed her hands into the ground, yanking once to reveal a sudden, large square-shaped chunk that had previously mixed in well with the surrounding environment. Captain was standing on this square, so he backflipped off and just a few feet away to avoid what he presumed was a fatal attack. Garnet continued lifting, revealing what from below looked like a large, silver maze, embedded to the underside of the square of rock, with spikes (also made of silver) lining the walls and ceiling. And an exit out from one side. Only being able to react to Steven's subsequent shooting at him, Hans was eventually backed up to the point where he was far away enough from the hole for the maze to not hover over it. Far enough for Garnet to throw the chunk of land at him, trapping him in the exact center. A low growl was heard.

"Uh Garnet," Steven said, "Are you sure you calculated his speed right?"

"Yes. If I know him, he should make his way through the course and get to the exit right about..."

He darted out, only to feel something splashing him right as he sped through the exit. He took off his hat, and noted that the top of it and his shoulders had paint on them. Steven fell on his back, laughing.

"Next time you go through a maze, watch out for trip wires! And water balloons, just hanging right there above the way out!"

He gave another nod and walked off, all the while Steven continued laughing.

"I still can't believe you burried an entire maze!"

"It was tedious work. But it was worth it."


"You can run, Sapphire, but you can't hiiiiiiiide!" Carl practically sang as he strode down the halls and began climbing the stairs, "This is my own house!"

"Oooh..." This was an unfamiliar voice - definitely a woman's. "And what an impressive house it is!"

"Wh-who said that?" He looked around, "Is there a girl here? You're not my stalker, are you?"

He looked at the top of the staircase to find Amethyst, grinning wickedly as she held up a recording device.

"Nope!" Carl shouted, jumping off of the stair's railing. "Not falling for that!"

"Yoooou almost diiid!" She cried, jumping off and running after him.

Carl darted into a random room, trying to keep the door close with a random chair. He heard the Gem lightly try to turn the nob, before he ran towards a wardrobe in panic. He just managed to hide himself in the empty closet that basically served as decoration by the time Amethyst kicked the door down with zero effort.

"Carl!" She paced around the seemingly empty room, not letting go of her gun, "Where aaaare you?"

He had been watching out through the very, very slight crack in the doors. Feeling as though he was going to die, he whipped out a smart phone in panic.

"Seras. It's me." He whispered. "Are you out yet? Ah, good. I need you to- What, no! I'm whispering because Sapphire is in this room with me right now and I'm hiding from her! No, she won't fall for the puppet twice, and I uh... don't have it with me right now. I forgot it, okay! Look, I need backup. I'm sure Diamond over there is an easy task for Rip, and Captain should handle Crimson and the kid- wait... Captain's dead? Well, that's another reason why I need you here! Sapphire's too much for one guy to handle!

"...Yes Seras, Sapphire is the purple one. Oh? Amethyst? That's her name? Well shoot, sorry if I'm not an expert on colors. I'm more of a sound type of guy, you know-"

The doors swung open, revealing Carl's hunter staring at him right in the face. Well, sort of. The hieght difference combined with the extra step that the wardrobe provided made her seem much less intimidating than she would have been. Not that that still didn't send Carl jumping out of the closet and over her, soaring through the air and rolling into a kneel. She laughed.

"You are terrible outside of the woods."

"Look! Bad things happened in my old manor!" He started backing out of the room, trying to aim his gun at her, "And in my Martian beach house before that! I'm normally not a supersticious guy but-"

He thought he saw her picking up in speed, so he darted around the corner and vanished down the direction of the front door. Amethyst hummed a short tune to herself once words from Seras replaced his presence.

"Carl? Why did you run off? I thought I would be assisting you, not replacing you!"

"Check." Amethyst said to herself.

"Don't worry babe! In honor of the Captain, I'm goin' after Crimson and the boy!"

"Check mate. Steven, don't worry about the green man, I'm comin' for you. But first..."

She looked further down the hall, and aimed as Seras wandered in. Quickly, the Gem fired.

Seras reacted to the noise seemingly quicker than the gun itself did, leaping into both the air and the direction the sound came from. Add to that, upon landing she charged in the direction, firing two shots as she ran-

The cop found herself hit in the face with blinding white light, slowing down and focusing her glance to see Amethyst holding some kind of high-powered flashlight.

"Don't get too used to your unlit mansion, Police Girl." She bragged.

"Hmph! Only one person calls me 'Police Girl,' and he's dead!"

"Can I take his place then?"

Getting even more enraged, Seras jumped at a random direction away from the shine; unfortunately going through one of the walls, and hitting and completely destroying a support beam. As one could predict, the hallway, and the manor itself, would not last very long afterward. Seras could predict this too, staring in horror at the open gap in the hole in the wall while her current target ran outside.

Seras could only scream as the wood and concrete gave away and the hallway collapsed in on itself, the entire half of the house going with it.


Pearl, after since turning back into her original form, gazed around the woods with fret. Her hands slightly trembled, shaking the flashlight being held with them.

Still no sign of her. Rip had definitely shifted her tactacs between the last three days. More than she could say about the other three.

Impressive.

She spun a complete one-eighty, still seeing absolutely nothing becides the completely still landscape. And a glimpse of something, off the path but instead through one of the thicker patches of trees. Is that... she turned again to get a better look...

A set of multiple bathrooms?

Even though the trail made it easier to look out for her and navigate, it also made Pearl more of a target, and gave her a clearer shot. Which is dangerous when dealing with someone who has the abilities of the huntress. The woods made for less navigation, but for Pearl this was hardly an issue and the addition of tall sticks that Rip's paint would have to navigate around - thus buying more time - was a payoff.

She darted inside, and for just that moment considered herself safe-

Until turning to see her, if briefly. Pearl only saw enough to make out the basics; shining glasses, tall and slender figure, and- was she growing tentacles? Pearl escaped to another room as a gunshot was heard, the familiar blue light following her briefly around the corner before stopping dead against a wall.

"Oh Pearl, do you really think you can hide from me? I'm nearly qualified to take down your entire organization by myself, with no need to waste the times of my commerades!"

"That is... a lot of talk coming from someone who I shot in the first game."

"Ah yes, but I thought this was made clear in the second..."

Rip slid along the floor, right into Pearl's view.

"...People change." She finished.

"Funny you should say that." Rang a voice behind her. Rip's legs started shaking at this voice, though her gun was still clearly aimed at the Gem with no sign of motion. "You know, being stranded at the bottom of the ocean for over two years gave me a lot to think about..."

Rip turned around, shuffling backwards with her paint-musket held in her sturdy hands and not once being held away from the target.

"Z-... Z-... Zam... Alu... Alucard?"

Pearl could see red mist crawling along the floor around the corner, as Rip leaped several feet back and closer to her. The Gem got ready to aim, but Rip turned her head around at the last second, forcing her to drop the weapon. She thought that if she tried to pull anything with Rip, she would shoot at her even in this predicament and get the last laugh in.

Following this mist was what looked like a man, cloaked in a blood red coat and bearing a matching hat.

"It's a shame we never got to meet earlier." He said. "Listen, Carl may judge you as a good being. Someone worthy of joining the organization that he perverted and turned into his teenage rockband fantasy. But I, as the longest serving member of Hellsing who is still standing on two feet, am about to declair an end to that."

"You have no authority over us! You never did! You died before Captain and I joi- and that, I thought you were dead!"

"That's what they all think. But every time, I come back to prove them wrong! Now Van Winkle, you have done terrible acts in the past, and I am here to make sure you do not go unpunished!"

Rip slid her feet back even further, aiming at the ready. She thought this would be futile - especially when dealing with paint for ammunition - before Pearl spoke up.

"Will you let me handle him, provided that I get to shoot you with paint and you don't shoot me?"

"YES! ANYTHNG! D-DO IT! DO IT NOW PEARL, NOW!"

Sighing that she finally has a clear shot, the Gem fired at the huntress (who didn't even flinch at the hit itself, but was trembling in fear at the sight of the red beast) and casually walked over to Alucard. Who had stopped walking towards Rip, for some reason.

Pearl gave a light tap on the back of Alucard's head, and he suddenly fell over, now completely motionless. She flashed a smirk at the recently eliminated member of Hellsing.

"Tell Carl that art does not have to be an explosion."

"Y- you mean..."

"I spent all three days hand-crafting that puppet."

"And the smoke?"

"A smoke machine!"

"The voice?"

"Actually, that was a pre-recorded message from a stranger that sounded like him. We took studying you very seriously."

Rip rolled her eyes and spiked her gun on the tiling. "Ugh! May Zamiel kill me anyway for making such a stupid mistake. Alucard living. Pfft! It's almost a known FACT that the universe hates immortals or... something like that!"


"Amethyst!" Seras shouted. "I saw you go into that stadium! You can't deny it!"

She grunted as she walked into the football arena, getting a look around.

"This is starting to get personal. You made me destroy our own house! Carl may forgive me, but Rip will have a lot to say!"

One of the overhead lights went on, blaringly bright. Its five sisters soon followed one at a time in quick succession, in a circular order. Seras winced in pain.

"I know this is your doing! Show yourself, you... you... you're a coward, do you know that?"

"Some talk!" Amethyst's voice rang from a speaker. "Didn't you used to be one yourself?"

Seras tried to fight through the sudden sensory overload from both the lights and the deafening PAs. She re-focused her vision to find the target in a large, high skybox, playing around with a GPS before setting it on a table. How on Earth she got there while Seras tore through the rubble of her former-new-house was a mystery to the vampire. As with how she remodled the PA system. "I used to be a cop!"

"Yeah, I know. And like I always say..."

The bleachers were suddenly filled with the sounds of numerous people standing up, getting out of hiding, followed by them all clocking their paint guns.

"Forget the police! Well, that's not what I always say but there's kids around and-"

Seras suddenly dissapeared in a yellow blur, speeding down the course as the various residents took fire, dodging blot after blot with lightning speed. While watching this from above, Amethyst casually leaned back on a chair and looked up at a clock resting on the back wall.

After making it towards the field goal, Seras flew into the air and gave a hard punch through the glass sheilding the announcement room.

"Why did you get..." she had to take a few heavy breaths, "The town to..."

"All he said was if you touch paint, you lose. Who says it has to be our's or your's?"

"Nobody!" Greg cried as he slammed the doors open, shooting paint of his own at Seras, which she answered with a quick blur past him and towards her main opponent-

Who drew out her whip and snapped Seras's only gun clean in half. Flinching, the blonde looked between the room's occupants and the stadium live with cheers to get the vampires out of Beach City, before running off into a blur out the door and into a hallway. With the swipe of a hand, she bent the doorway in on itself, sealing the pair in.

Greg and Amethyst stared at the only practical exit to the room, before the latter finally spoke.

"Fine! Avoid Steven's dad if you want! But you'll have to deal with the entire town soon!"

"Hey, uh, Amethyst?" Greg asked.

"What?"

"You never told me she was gonna lock us in like this. How do I get out?"


Seras turned from the doorway and proceeded her way to the nearest elevator as fast as possible. Which is to say, it was not long before she had slammed a finger on the buttons and had the sounds of Amethyst re-shaping the blockade to its original form to keep her company while she waited for those doors to open. She looked at a sign. "In the event of an energency, use stairs." Seras scoffed, thinking back at the populated staircase, while relying on blind hope that Amethyst did not plan her surviving this.

Footsteps soon caught her attention from either the method of transportation towards the source, which seemed to be a very young boy.

"Why hello there. Who might you be?"

He replied by whipping out a cannon, easily half of his size.

"That's my youngest brother, Onion," Said someone from the shadows. Seras was already jumping away once Onion began firing. "I'm Ronaldo, and I've been dying to ask - your kind was dumped the moon, right? Come on, I need this for my blog!"

Seras briefly paused from Onion's onslaught, getting a clear look at Ronaldo himself and flashing him a look of utter confusion.

"Wha- no! We've never been to the moon. Not even for a mission. Not even to check the former tower of Mr. Scratch."

His face fell as Seras resumed dodging the youngest's blasts. "Oh. Well then, I guess I can start doing this-"

He himself began firing, chasing Seras down the other way of the hall. Before she could take off into her vampire speed as planned, however, she slipped and fell knee-first to the floor. Her already fast breathing pace was only quickened when she saw another pair of feet.

"You have it too good." The voice above these feet said, Seras standing up to look at him. He definitely looked like he was the middle child to Onion and Ronaldo. She heard a roaring crowd in the seats outside, sighing in defeat and listening to him continue. "I'm Peedee, but I don't think you care. You live a life of nothing but wrecklessness and loud fun after you defeated the Millennium. According to Pearl, according to what Carl bragged her. You've been given too many ups. Which is why it makes me a little happier to-"

"Just hit me and get it over with." She said, hearing metal being bent followed by Amethyst's laughter. "Yep. Just as I thought. Amethyst is now guarding the elevator and I am out of any offensive options so-"

He smiled briefly as he shot her down.


Seras trotted into the skybox, followed by the three Fryman brothers and Amethst. All four of them continued shooting her in the back (Amethyst throwing her spares away as they emptied or handing them to the brothers as theirs ran out), with Greg adding a single shot to the chest with one of the largest smiles he bored.

Mr. Universe's grin soon fell as he looked at the overkill still going on. "So now what?"

She kept shooting until her trigger pulls were met with nothing, which happened a little after the three ran dry. "Well, you want to see your son kick some butt, right?"

"Yeah, you told me that I could join since you were not really using magic."

"First, don't tell Pearl I wasted all of my ammo-"

"Got it!" He said, waving his own gun- and noticing that her eyes were following it.

"-And we can convince her that if we switched guns before she gets here."


Pearl sighed once the stadium came into view, hitting the brakes and staring at it from the windsheild. She then turned to the sole 'passenger' of the car; the Alucard dummy.

Getting out, she summoned her own weapon and walked around to the vampire replica.

"I don't want to do this. You had such a bad childhood."

With one slash, faux-Alucard's head was cut clean off. It tumbled out of the car while its assailant reached down its neck and whipped out a megaphone.

"I also don't want to do what I'm about to do." She sighed again. "This borders on vandalism."

Getting back in, she sped off in the direction of the epic field. She took notes of the lights already being on, the faint cheers of the crowd, and the time printed on the car's screen.


"CEASE FIRE!" Pearl yelled into the megaphone as she drove through the stadium's grass. "I AM ON YOUR SIDE! CEASE FIRE!"

She quickly rolled up the window in case there were those who didn't get the message, then sped up. She winced after looking back at the huge tire marks she was making.

From above, Amethyst watched her comerade navigating her way through the field and rolled her eyes.

"How bad do you want to see your son shoot a Martian?"

"W-why did you ask me that?"

Instead of answering, she grabbed him by the back and lifted him over her shoulders, using one hand to keep him up while the other grabbed the GPS. Following this she ran to where the window used to be and lept, keeping Greg in her grasp the entire time until she fell onto the roof of Pearl's car - which resulted in her tearing through it and landing square in the passenger's seat, also ending on the Alucard puppet and breaking it to smithereens. She lightly shoved Greg to the back after her land.

"Okay Amethyst," Said the current driver, "I went here to pick you up and ruined a perfectly good field of grass. What do we do now?"

Amethyst moved the GPS so that the pair could see, showing a deep blue map with two blinking dots - one purple, one light blue - in the center side-by-side. She zoomed out (merging the two dots so that they switched color for each blink), revealing a third red dot in the corner.

"Remember when I installed trackers in our phones- Ah, look!" She pointed at the red dot, "Garnet's at the train station! We need to get there in time for Steven's plan!"

"If the blue is me, the purple is you, and the red is Garnet, where is Steven?"

She shrugged. "To be honest, I didn't think he would make it this far. So I didn't bother giving him a tracker."


"When did the game start?" Steven said, swinging his legs from the bench.

"About thirty minutes ago."

"Really?" He giggled, looking up at the sky through the curved glass ceiling of the station. "Shoot, now I gotta-"

"Please don't."

"Yeah, you're right." He quickly turned his gaze down. "I felt kinda silly when I said 'really.'"

Garnet rested a hand on her shades, adjusting them. "Carl may be the only one left, but he could be anywhere. If our research is right, he's became the most dangerous and least predictable. Watch out."

Right across from the pair, the hemispherical glass above the other side of the tracks was shattered as the final two membes drove though, akwardly speeding past in a wrecked car to get to Steven and Garnet's side. All three riding it stepped out, Greg taking notably longer to sum up to courage to leave after what happened.

"Is he here yet?" Pearl asked, turning to look up at the busted window. "This game is really pushing me out of my confort zone!"

"That is why I warn everybody about windows!" A blonde girl - looking very much emo and dressed in some kind of fancy red and caped outfit - shouted. This got the attention of the Gems, towards that direction, where they also saw Carl, slowly shuffling their way.

"GET BACK!" Garnet directed after observing him, running behind the car and motioning for the other members of the party to follow. She then noticed Amethyst trying to peek her head up, and pulled her back down. Shortly following this, she grabbed the vehicle/hiding spot and flipped it over so that its top formed a barrier.

"That's not the real Carl. It's another puppet."

Surely enough, there was another blast of paint, barely getting blocked by the now-even-more wrecked automobile. Peeking up, the five all saw Carl standing behind the glass ceiling, holding another control bar.

"You almost had me when you nearly ran me over! He shouted into the hole, "You could'a shot me right there! But no, you failed, you lost your second chance, and now I can easily send my new marionette down there and wreak havok!"

"You're lucky I wasn't driving!" Amethyst shot back. "Because if I was, you'd be ran over! Also, we all survived the blast, you know! You can come down and do a paint-inspection yourself!"

Carl's face lit up in curiosity. "Hm, really," he mumbled to himself, "Welllll if you're not lying it gives me a good reason to try out this..."

Back in the station, the Gems (and Greg) continued hiding behind the busted car. Occasionally they looked above, watching for any further signs of the man who had since vanished to the back. Those that weren't on patrol of Carl were on patrol of the surrounding explosion, not sure what is safe for stepping on, and what would mean instant elimination.

This concentration was broken when the green man himself dove in, activating what appeared to be a jetpack mid-fall. The device worked, keeping him hovering just barely above what would mark the end of the game in the Gems' favor.

"Oh, and Indigo, that car would only kill me if it was lined with some anti-vampire stuff. Huh." Carl examined the station with a series of glances from side to side. "Like these very trains. I convinced the town that, ya' know? That we're not the only vampires around and some of these other vampires are mean little punks?"

All five of the hiders got out their paint guns and began firing (Greg having to borrow one of Steven's; though he asked), their shots all being swiftly dodged by the Martian's newfound flight.

"Indigo isn't even a gemstone!" Amethyst shot, taking the oppertunity, "You're really slipping, Stevens!"

"Really?" He continued his flight. "If I'm slipping, then explain this!"

He finally fired a shot on his own, hitting Pearl in the face and knocking her back-first into the puddle that remained from his puppet-bomb. Carl laughed, before checking his fuel levels.

"Ha!" He said, "That's for Rip, and yes I was watching! Just... too scared to do anything about that Alucard dummy without blowing my cover. Don't tell Seras this, but Rip was my fav- Up... Runnin' outta fuel... let's see here..."

A train pulled into the lot, getting a hopeful smile from Steven and a wicked look from Amethyst.

"Yes!" The latter cried, "Now I can finally use my weapon again!"

She quickly summoned her whip and wrapped it around the beam in the middle of the ceiling (having to break just a little more glass on the way), grabbing Steven and Garnet.

"Oh!" Steven said. Carl looked at the scene, and figured that he needed to rest on the top of this train. He spent so much of the game just looking for them; he wasn't about to continue his search again. "Dad, I guess this is goodbye! Our first father-son shooting trip was fun!"

It was only after the whip-wielder took off by swinging over to and running up the train's side that Greg caught his son's message.

"Oh, wow... th-that's true..."

Carl's jetpack completely ran out as the lengthy train finally took off, the man previously hovering over it landing smoothly on its top and throwing his now-empty pack off. Amethyst had since unwrapped her whip, still carrying it in tow while the last four of the game sped off into the night.

Pearl got herself up, giving an affectionate hand on Greg's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but you should understand when we say that it's too dangerous to fight on the top of a train with him. I already think it's too dangerous for Steven, but... this was the best any of us could come up with."

"What is?"

Pearl looked down and to the side. "Well... let's just say you would be proud of him and I wish I was with him on that train instead of Amethyst. Or Garnet, for that matter."

She mumbled something to herself about "the perfect date beginning."


"Alright, I got this!" Steven cried, keeping a dead-set eye on Carl's arm motions. All said enemy's said limbs showed in terms of movement was a series of hand-twitches. "Garnet, go after him! Amethyst, help me get to the front of the train!"

The taller one replied by drawing her own paint gun and taking direct hits in Carl's direction, keeping her feet static the entire time. The blobs all predictably missed their target, as he dashed around the engine's top in a blur. Once the pair was mere inches away, Amethyst followed Steven's word by carrying him over her head and running towards the pilot.

"Normally I'd try to stop what the kid was up to," Carl murmered flatly, "But he's just a kid. You, on the other hand, tried to pull a fast one with me last time..."

"Woaaaah- thank you for following my plan!" Steven said with notable speed, visibly shaking as he was flying through the air at what felt like light speed. His heart stopped each time she jumped across a gap in the cars. "To be honest... AHHH... I didn't think you of all people would think this is a good idea!"

"Of course I do!" She smiled, "Everyone knows you need a stupididly complicated plan to take down a vampire! Fighting them head-on like I did isn't an option!"

She started laughing as she set her teammate down, the pair getting down to lie on their fronts and peer through the glass in the very front. "But seriously, I was guilty of making a plan much bigger than I needed too. Now that I think about it, I could have shot Seras as soon as I shone that bright light at her back at her house, but then I wouldn't be able to force her through a game of death-paint-football!"

Steven pushed himself up, frowning.

"Oh no."

"What?"

"It's the wrong guy! Oh... oh no!"

He felt Amethyst give him her own pat to the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. We'll either come up with another plan, or Garnet could have finished him off! Wanna race back until we find him?"

"Yeah!"

He wasn't sure if it was the greater sense of control, higher familiarity, or thought that he already won the game, but Steven without a doubt felt more comftorable - bordering to where he definitely enjoyed - jumping across the gaps by himself going back then being carried over on the way towards the driver's car.

Of course, the fun stopped instantly when they saw Garnet lying down with enormous splotches of green paint on her, along with bigger blots staining the roof.

"NOOOOO!" Steven cried. "GARNET! SHE'S... she's...

"Dead.

"Garnet, did you see where Carl went?"

She lifted her head up. "I don't believe I am allowed to tell you where a player went. But I will say this. His guns are definitely bigger than before. Watch out."

With that, she lept off, leaving the last two Gems in the open night air.

"Shoot!" Amethyst cried. "Sh... shoot! He could be anywhere!"

"But!" Steven commented, "Before he said he didn't want to go looking for us... oh wait, his powers... so wherever he is... he could see us... he can see us!

"Wait, wait, wait! I got it! Amethyst, let's jump off the back end of the train, and on the tracks!"

"Why?"

Steven was already running off. "The sky has ears, I can't tell you!"

Amethyst followed, "Hey! No head starts!"

Before she had the chance to catch up, it was too late. Steven had already sped off the waycar and landed safetly on the tracks.

It was only now that he fully realized that these tracks were but in the middle of a bridge suspended above downtown.

Suspended high above downtown.

He turned back to the train and took a slightly larger than usual breath.


"Ugh!" Amethyst cried, "Steven! Hold on! I'm almost-"

She tripped after feeling something grab onto her heel, just before she could make that final jump off the back car. She turned around. The thing was, in fact, a green hand surrounded by shadows.

The last train-riding Gem shot several times at the buff hand, yet it navigated itself through the metalic surfice, gliding itself and surrounding shadows to ensure that it won't carry a single drop on it. All the while, more of the hand's owner emerged. The entire arm. The arm's twin. The top of a face. Amethyst finally shook from the grasp, also rolling off of the ride's back as more of Carl emerged. A torso. A waist. Legs. Feet.

As the Martian dashed off himself, Amethyst lifted a gun to shoot him once again, however this time her efforts were deflected by a sudden vortex of colorful air. She only had enough time to react to this with a quick dodge-roll to the side, watching in horror as the colors split the paint blot into shreads and hit the spot right between the tracks below.

"C'mon!" Carl taunted. "Gimme your best shot!"

They spent the next... ten to fifteen minutes just about doing this. Amethyst, and latter Steven, trying to send a barrage of tyrian in his direction, getting their efforts neutralized by numerous sonic waves coming from that obnoxious guitar. It made sense, in a cruel fate-sort of way: That thing was the beginning of the cause of the Gems' problems, and now it serves as the final obstacle.

On the plus side, they did manage to limit the arena somewhat - at least, this probably applied more towards themselves than Carl. Soon, the part of the bridge heading 'foreward' (away from the old station) was rendered completely unwalkable to those who played the game and hoped to stay in, its roof being recolored entirely. The part about Carl being an exception came from his shadow abilities; which they were sure he would leave them abandoned there after a similar incident happened with the part of the bridge going 'back.'

It wasn't until running out of ammo for the sixth time (counting the stadium) that Amethyst completely snapped.

"RAWGH!" She cried. "THAT IS IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR STUPID GUITAR! IF I HAD DONE THIS-"

She lashed out her whip again, successfully catching Carl's instrument of horror and yanking it upwards away from him. He let out a huge gasp as the Gem then unwrapped it, just to lash at it and smash the thing into what he thought was millions of peices. But it was really two, not counting the obvious spare shrapnel.

"No!" His eyes began to water as he bolted over to the remains, getting on his knees. "My awesome Sonic Wave Guitar! It can't be! It can't!"

Carl's hands went from the sides of his face to over his eyes as he skipped two stages of grief and went straight to depression. Steven and Amethyst could only stare in confusion as he wept for his crushed, faithful weapon.

"We did so much together! So many concerts back on Mars! So many vampires and zombies and stuff killed with you! So much paint deflected just now! It was what I had with me when I met Seras! And when I met Rip! And what I fought against Rip with!"

The two Gems exchanged looks as they easily aimed and fired-

Their guns.

Were both out of ammo.

"Oh no!" Steven cried, trying all five of what he packed at the beginning, "No no no! We wasted it! We wasted all of it!"

"Me too!" Amethyst juggled the barrels in horror in hopes of finding just one gun that had just one shot. All out. "Pearl's going to kill us! And then the Pikmin! And then-"

Steven tapped her side and pointed to Carl's gun.

"Hmm really? Well, that may be your idea but I don't want you to risk yourself." She chuckled. "After all, I want you to deal with you-know-who. Let me try instead..."

She tip-toed over to the still weeping Carl, trying not to laugh at the streams of tears flowing down to the tracks. Right now, in fact, Amethyst's biggest concerned was being electrocuted from when his crying mixes in with the railing. Definitely not him aiming his gun right at her forhead.

Which is exactly what he did. Before firing, sending her sprawling off of the bridge and down to the depths. He chuckled.

"Three down and... one to go!"

"You monster! If I did that-"

"Kid, I woulda gone easier on you. Shot you onto the bridge, and not down there. Of course, the fact that Amethyst trolled Rip and Seras after the first match may have something to do with it, but I know that you're more mortal and-"

They both heard a second train, blowing its whistle. The pair turned and-

Oh no it was closer than they expected.

The only thing that got Steven's attention away from the train was Carl crying in pain. He looked at the Martian, whose leg had since turned into an odd mix of shadow and was merged in with the rail.

"My powers are all jacked up!" Carl shouted. "It... it must be the rails! And my stupid vampire abilities! I... uh... I'm not that good at using them when I'm in distress! LIKE RIGHT NOW!"

Steven stood confidently, holding a hand out to try to get the massive series of cars to stop. He gave a quiet "Oh." when that failed, and frowned as he turned to Carl.

"Um... don't stress out over this... because the last time I tried this I turned into a freaky cat monster... but stay calm... I think I have an idea..."

He grabbed Hellsing's leader as the train was mere feet away and turned his legs into enlongated cat bodies, springing himself up with enough force to unjam the green man from the tracks and adding a semi-jump to get the two of them on the next train entirely. After mumbling "And now the hard part" to himself, Steven took a deep breath and the cats let out growls as they began a jagged transformation back into legs.

"Well!" Carl shouted, standing up to look at him. "You saved my life!"

"Does this mean you give up?" Steven said, lighting up.

"Nah. I'm just gonna give you a ten second head-start."


"Come on kid, you're outta ammo anyway! There's no way you can win!"

As he was making that taunt, Carl was currently getting shot after shot of paint in the spot immediately ahead of him. All the while, a running Steven panted to himself between breaths as he leaped from car to car:

"Seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... twelve..."

"Kid, what are you counting?"

"Thirteen... fourteen- WOAH!"

Unexpected to the Martian, Steven turned around and jumped back in his direction, making him dig his heels into the train in shock. The final member of Hellsing's opposing team then ran to the train car's side, kicking the window open and slipping himself inside.

"MAN." Carl said. "What is WITH that kid?"

After sliding in feet-first, the first sound Steven was greated with was a semi-familiar voice.

"Again! Windows!"

"Ugh!" Steven said, turning to the emo. "How did you even get here? You were at the station!"

"DUH! What do you think I was waiting for at the station? I couldn't get on the last train because everyone was swarming out to see your stupid, wreckless show!"

He would have then given some speech about how important this game was and how it could save the entire city from permanent annoyance, before said permanant annoyance melted through the ceiling and landed as though he was a ninja.

"Again, face it, I still have paint, and you don't! Even if I run out, it'll be a stalemate at be-"

"HIYA!" Steven cried, dive-kicking his gun and letting it roll across the floor. He then dove after it before Carl even got the chance to react, sliding to the weapon on his belly, just barely grabbing it and holding it up triumphantly. He tried to fire, only to get a loud click with nothing else. Carl grinned slyly as he held up some remote.

"Nice try, but before the third round we made our guns so that they can have their safety auto-toggled! I activated it while you were doing those lame ninja moves! Bet'cha didn't count on that!"

"And I bet you didn't count on us having an automatic refill! Haaaank! Wait... Hank? Oh no, where are you?"

One of the passengers lowered a newspaper (which caused Steven to gasp and turn in their direction, which Carl raised an eyebrow at), revealing himself to be none other than Hank from earlier. With a soft smile, he tossed Steven a pack of paint, to which he shortly reloaded his own gun with.

Carl, for the first time in the game, looked downright terrified.

He phased himself through the door on the front end, just after Steven fired the first shot in his reload. The green brute looked at the short bridge between two cars, this sight-seeing cut brief as he heard Steven trying to open the door behind him, so he continued trailing his way and phasing into the next car.

"Okay Carl, think." He said to himself as he bolted to the front of the next car. "Dang, I shouldn't have held myself back while we were on the roof. The kid was counting the number of cars - oh!"

He phased through the doors to the car after that, and continued running. "Well shoot though! I wasn't paying attention to what number he was on, but either way I can't keep doing this!" Phase. He slowed himself down. "I need a hiding spot! Hm... maybe I can do something like what that redneck did... But there's almost nobody here! Why can't this be like the last train, where everything was crowded?"

Phase. He looked around this new car he tossed himself into.

The closest thing he could find was a girl reading a book. It looked an ugly bright pink - which drew his attention to it - but hey, a disguise was a disguise. There was an empty seat next to her. (And all around her as the entire train itself was pretty empty, her being the car's only inhabitant becides Carl himself, but it was the next-to-her seats he was concerned about.) Perfect.

He sat next to her and yanked the literature from her hands.

"Sorry kid, I need this!" He said, squinting as he held it sideways and turned it to the cover. "What is this, anyway? A Wrinkle in Time? Never heard of it.

"...Hey kid, what's with the gloves?"

Steven finally broke through the door, with Carl reacting by burrying his face in the novel.

This aught to buy me juuuust enough time to...

Once Steven ran past him, Carl stuck out a leg and tripped his enemy, closing the book and yanking his own gun back from his hands. The leader of Hellsing then swiftly activated the remote through fist-bumping his pocket, and with a quick and sudden move, fired.

Steven barely lifted himself from the floor before the huge spot of jade paint to the back knocked him back down. Unexpected to either of the car's other occupants, however, he laughed.

"What's so funny, kid? I killed you!"

Steven stood up with a smirk. "How can you kill me... when you're already dead?!"


"Okay, so we have a clear plan for Captain, a clear plan for Rip, and two for Seras." Pearl explained, using a hologram with rough approximations of the four Hellsing members. All of them bar Carl were X'd out as she cited who had plans targeting them. "Does anyone have any idea what to do for Carl?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Steven cried, "Carl's my guy!"

Pearl and Amethyst flinched.

"Right..." the former said. "I forgot..."

"No, listen, I have an amazing plan! First, we need to get Captain and Seras and Rip out of the way. To be sure this will work. They're smarter than Carl, so they'll know they're being staged... and I guess because my plan relies on your plan and your plans have to be shaped to fit my plan, that makes this a sym... Symbiotic Plan! Right? Then, we need to meetup at the train station by a set time... and we need one more person. Maybe two!"

"Good luck finding someone for the job." Amethyst laughed. "Almost everybody we know in town is booked! They're shooting at the football stadium tonight, with me!"

"Hm... what about this new guy I met before we started planning?"

"Eh... he sounds like a hick. Take him."

"Or Connie?"

She laughed harder. "You should know me by this point. Of course I would leave your girlfriend alone. To force you to talk to her!"

Steven flushed. "S-she's not my girlfriend! I- uh..."


"Connie! Connie!" Steven shouted as he ran down the city's streets. "If you want to help me... uh... get rid of the annoying musician, then tonight I need you to get on this train-"

Just when he stopped, he flashed her a schedule. A certain time was highlighted. "And bring a book, and gloves... oh, and a tiny bit of paint. This plan might... break the book, so take one you already read, b-but if it does I'll get you a new copy! Oh, and go in car number nine!"

"Steven, why."

"Well uh..." he began stuttering, "It's a... uh... you know those loud music guys? Hellsing?"

"Yes," she sighed, "They never let me think to myself. Your not going to invite me to join Amethyst, are you? She never asked me, but her idea sounds as animal-like as the vampires."

"Well um... this is a plan that will beat them! Another plan! Just... listen to what I say, to the letter and... yeah... Okay, first..."


"I found out we were on the wrong train, so I had to stall a little. I knew Amethyst would waste her ammo and she might make me do the same, but by the time I found out it was cut down to us, I still had Hank on my side! When I was chasing you, I stopped just before going in this car to make sure that you used the two things I knew about you from our study. You don't respect girls, and you don't respect books. So what would your reaction be if you saw a girl with a book, after you saw how good Mr. Hill hid behind a newspaper? And how surprised I acted? You would take it. Because you are desperate and mean, so a woman's property will drop from the list of 'things I would let be' faster than anything else and-"

"Yeah, yeah, you got me to touch a book. What's the point, kid? How exactly am I dead?"

He raised a pointer finger to him. "Look at your hands."

Carl did as told, finding his finger tips stained with pink.

"...No." He said.

Noticing that his hand was still gripping the book, he held it closer to him and rubbed his palm across the cover. Not only was his hand then stained in a different color, but part of the book's own pink ran off to reveal its original, intended green palette.

"...No! Th-that doesn't count! It's clever, but it doesn't count!"

"Does it? The only rule of the game is touch paint, and you're out. And you touched paint!"

Carl dropped the book to the ground, kicking it across the floor and watching as said base was then smeared with the terrible (to him) color. As with the death of his guitar, he dropped to his knees.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Seras and Rip had phased themselves into the car shortly after this breakdown. Rip in particular applauded.

"Clever Steven, very clever!"

She turned to Carl and then said with less volume, "Oh, and I already called off Captain. He's back in... well, in me. Anyway, Seras and I both followed you and watched this scene go on through the fight, but we didn't say anything because, you know, dead and everything."

The leader let out a loud exhale, looking as though he was about to tear out his hair before stopping. "Come on, man! Do over! DO OVER-!"

Both of the vampiric women put hands on Carl's shoulders, silently shaking their heads. Carl sighed. "Fine.

"But, before we go, you saved my life from something we helped changed to the tracks and that head start wasn't enough! Is there any way I could repay you?"

"Yes..." Steven began.

"BY GETTING THE HELL OUT OF BEACH CITY!"

Carl shook his head. "Fine, fine, we'll be gone soon after midnight-"

"It's only around ten, Carl." Rip clarified.

"It is?" He looked out the window. "Shoot. I gotta lay off the heavy stuff.

"Well, we'll be gone before midnight. And unless you or your Gems or your girlfriend over here want to see us at our manor before our final goodbyes, this will be the last you'll ever see of us! You'll have to be quick, though, we can pack pretty fast. ...Even if most of our stuff is under rubble."

"But wait!" Steven said, pointing a finger in the air. "And I'm glad all three of you are here. Because before you go, I wanna say some things."

"M-me too!" Connie added, jumping off of her seat and facing the vampires.

"Let me start!" Steven cried, "Carl, you could have behaved better! Uh... a LOT better!"

"Really. While you play your instruments, do you even remember that there are other people out there at all?"

Steven stepped foreward before he continued, "I don't think you do! You might be doing this just for the fame!"

Connie also stepped. With each sentence the pair's faces got closer to Carl's. "And another thing! Part of being a good guy isn't just saving people's lives, it's helping them feel better too! Like what Steven does! You..."

"Need to really think about what you're doing!"

"And I hope this teaches you something!"

Steven pointed at him. "I wish I could ban you from getting a new guitar or something! For three weeks!"

They stayed like this in silence for a moment. Steven pointing, Connie's arms bent and hands to her sides, Carl staring puzzled at the two and their stern looks, and Seras and Rip similarly rendered speechless in confusion.

Until Carl clapped. "Wow. Well then, I'm sure we'll keep that in mind when Rip, Seras and I have our little group shower to get rid of this paint before we move out!"

The trio of vampires then sprouted out what looks like wings of light, turning into blurs as they sped out the window and flew into the night. Steven let out a sigh of relief.

"Garnet Pearl and Amethyst are never gonna believe that worked, will they?" He asked to Connie.

"I believe you. I mean, I saw what you did."

"Aww, thanks. But your words don't mean much to the Gems - they won't believe you. Well, Garnet might because she's really smart, but Pearl never thinks I am ready for anything and Amethyst never thinks what I think is smart enough and there's paint on the back of my shirt and Carl has plenty of reasons to move out of here and-"

"Don't worry, I know you mean well and I know how honest you are. They'll believe you."

Steven turned out the window Hellsing broke out of and smiled.

"Even if they don't!" He said, "At least this was kinda fun!"

She turned to her ruined book, whipping off the gloves she used to protect herself from the paint. "Fun for you! I lost a favorite to that jerk! When are you going to replace it?"

"Oh... about that..." He laughed nervously, not turning away from the window. "...I didn't think that through?"


BONUS! Extra "deleted" scene

Yes, this does mean that that was the end. It will be a little rare for my stories to lack an epilogue or at least a "proper" closing scene - even in parodies - but this is one of them. Spoiler alert: Movie Day might be another one. The lack of a complete closure scene is really more of an experiment on my part; I may have stated this before but I have a bad habit of typing too much of a given story in real-time, and dragging on my endings a little.

While working on the final draft of the second chapter, I started wondering how the game would have gone if HUC went by the old plan of keeping Zorin alive until the end, or at least having Zorin be the one eaten and familiarized and not Captain. In all honestly, the story wouldn't have been much different - especially seeing as Captain was the first kicked off by a long shot in the final game. But I thought about this little part early in post-time skip Naruto where Itachi makes this illusion where Naruto starts seeing the people he knows growing out of him and guilt-tripping him. Now, I might have done something similar to the below in the actual story (just with a little more to differentiate it; this was kinda sloppily written because it's not an actual part of the story and my train of logic is that if it's not part of the "canon" story then I shouldn't put as much effort into it), but there's both the factor of that making it even longer than it should be and the lack of any appropriate point.

This scene would have taken place in the second round, possibly replacing the Carl-bomb but as I explain in a little note later on...

Also, if this was in the story, it would definitely be a lot shorter. The added length was really just for fun.

Steven bolted out of what seemed like another of an infinite number of shrubs, before reality hit him in that the forest did have its limits. He stopped in surprise at the clear view of the ocean, right ahead of him, the additional sunlight making him wince and shield his eyes.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

"I am."

Steven turned to the source of the voice, gasping when he found the water ahead now bearing a new image. Well, that was innacurate. Everywhere except the area closest to him looked normal, but several feet from where he stood was a circle of pale pink glow. The light beckoning to him, he paced towards it until his feet were wettened by the shore - what was in place of his reflection making him gasp again.

"...Mom?"

"Yes, Steven. You are brave to come on this mission, but also foolish. For you see, there was nothing you can do about it from the start."

He took a step back, suddenly finding himself losing his balance. "Woah- what?"

"You are weak, son. Not even the real Crystal Gems can do this. (Quick AN: This would probably work better if Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were eliminated beforehand, making Steven the last one kicked off instead of tieing with Amethyst as one of the first) What makes you think you can?"

"Well... if you're such a big shot, why don't you go out there yourself?"

She chuckled. "Because, Steven..."

The pale glow was suddenly replaced with black, colored only by flames appearing behind her. She opened her eyes, revealing them to be blank white. "I'M DEAD!"

What happened next must have not taken more than a few seconds, and because of this speed the blur was almost incomprehencible to Steven. The water changed its image, that part he could see - but a very strange feeling in his feet is what started throwing him off. He felt more limited, and somewhat transformed as he glanced around at the third look the water around him got the form of. It wasn't until he looked down at what then replaced Rose that he understood at least what was happening to him.

His feet were replaced by extensions of his legs, which go down to Lar's arms, also enlongated. Lars himself appeared to replace the image of Rose, over the background of Big Donut's interior.

"H-hey! Lars? What? Wh-what did you do to my feet?!"

"Oh, I just want to drag you out of the fight, over to where you belong."

"Where I belong?" He cried, trying to pull his own legs to fight back. All this got was a forced trip, turning him flat on his stomach facing away from the water and desperately using his hands to dig into the sand. Lars, somehow not twisted in spite of Steven's 180, leaned back and pulled, this motion having some effect on him.

"N-no! Hello? Can someone help me? Garnet! Amethyst! Pearl! What's going on?!"

The only thing he got as an answer was a caught sight out of the corner of his eye, his back (Just the part of his shirt? Or his whole back too? He couldn't tell anymore) growing a large lump that eventually took the form of the upper half of Sadie.

"It's fine Steven!" She cried frantically, "Here! What you really need to help your adventure is this-"

Somehow, someway, she reached behind her own back and showed her hands to each have been full of an assortment of various meats, pastries, cheeses, creams- he couldn't tell if there was a single whole food item in the pileups, as they were very much merged together-

And he didn't get enough time to really look at them before she started shoving them towards his mouth. Both handfulls, one at a time, which he spat out after the latter was shoved in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He shouted to his back as he tried crawling along the sands.

"Helping you relax! Trust me! I know this is for your own good!"

He could make out that she retrieved more of the mixtures, this time the origins were clear- the junk food seemed to be morphed from her own palms. Steven gasped at the implications, this time preparing to swat away at her next offering. He successfully managed to knock the food out of her left hand with his own, but when he lifted his right hand in preparation for the other, he found that he lost control of it mid-air.

"Now what?" He cried.

His right arm soon morphed itself completely, ballooning itself into another familiar shape. This shape stood on the sands with a right foot, the left merging into Steven's arm much like Steven's own legs merging into Lar's.

"P...Peedee?" He asked his arm. The boy turned to him in response. "You're here too? You're... you're me too?"

Peedee frowned at him, taking his one free leg and pushing his foot against Steven's face.

"It always has to be about you, doesn't it." He said blankly. "Clinging on to not one, not two, but three skirts, using the excuse that you're learning your abilities to get around having to do real work. For life goals. You deserve to go there."

Steven had to swat away at Sadie again, this time noticing an increase in fries in the food she held - something that was noticably absent prior to the Fryman's appearance. He struggled breathing through his nose at this point, as it was the epicenter of the most recent item trying to get him into the sea.

"No! You... just don't get it! I'm a real life- I mean, I have a real goals! Or... the other thing you said! I am the opposite! It's okay!"

"It's not okay." Rang a voice from the back of his head.

By the time Steven's hair began growing outwards and forming another specific shape, his left arm was shaking as he kept himself rooted in the sand. He heard steps becides him, indicating that this next transformation had finished, and cringed when he turned his eyes to the side the sound came from and saw a pair of pink boots.

"Oh no!"

He briefly escaped from Peedee's attack, turning his head up to find that his hair had indeed grew. It was seemingly connected in another "trail" much like his legs and Lar's arms, where the trail was longer than the sum of his own and the other person's part combined. That other person was Connie's, whose own hair served as the link. She took a step even closer to him, staring him down.

"You are out of hope, and out of options Steven." She said. "Your life is a mess. I would rather be alone than have you as a friend."

She shoved her own boot to him, much like Peedee. By this point, Steven was being moved back into the waters behind him.

He felt three more transformations overcome him; Amethyst grew out of his chest, while he felt something on his forehead and on the palm of his remaining hand.

"You might have a gem too," said Amethyst, "But you're still kind of a loser. Well, goodbye Steven!"

"No!"

"It's true." Said Pearl, the figure that was currently growing from his forehead. "You're just not fit to fight with us! Not now, not soon... but maybe you will be! It might take a few years... or decades..."

"No!"

He butted his head at Connie and Peedee's feet, then held his left hand out in front of him to see what it had to offer. All he saw was a red jem embeded on it. Garnet's voice came from it.

"I only said what I said because I pitied you."

"NO!"

Steven was jolted out of the illusion by a sharp hit of paint on his neck. Looking around, he found no traces of any people growing out of him, and that he was apparantly standing the entire time. All he saw when he looked into the sea was opaque seagreen water, and all he saw when he turned around was Zorin proudly holding up her gun.

I also thought about Steven seeing Greg just standing there, saying that he is going to marry Seras and ask him what he thinks of the name "Seras Universe." Seras would then walk into Steven's line of sight, and the two would start kissing. But... I felt that, even though this part is about hypotheticals here and not stuff that made it into the story, that it was a bad idea that messes with the flow of this part. And plus I didn't want to actually write it; this scene is long enough as-is.

Scene that was actually deleted/rewriten

After making it towards the field goal, Seras flew into the air and gave a hard punch through the glass sheilding the announcement room. She cried in pain afterward, staring at the numerous cuts as the window broke into hundreds of glittering pieces.

"I got that window blessed or something before I installed it. You won't believe how much everyone was eager to driving you out of town! Pearl didn't want me to hurt you, but hey, tell that to your bomb-happy boyfriend who almost drowned Steven."

Seras is by far the nicest of the Hellsing Four, so Amethyst making her cut her hand like that would still be kinda cruel regardless of what Carl did. And Amethyst might be mischevious, but she isn't cruel. After all, why take it out on the person who didn't cause the problems? That's a pretty petty thing to do if you ask me.

Another - Original Captain Weakness

Captain glanced through the fancy utencils on the table, looking up at the woman behind with a curious shrug.

"Yes. Those are crafted from real silver, intermixed with platinum handles and golden filling." She said, "But it didn't take that much to make these soooo... they're only about a dollar more than your average kitchen ware. If you're not convinced I can get a certified-"

He waved a hand in front of her and held out a piece of paper.

"Oh. You're a werewolf?"

He nodded.

"Well then sorry. I... guess if you paint regular spoons, forks, and knives you can get the same- wait, do you even need these?"

On the upper floor of the mall, Garnet fixed her gaze on him.

"So he's weak to silver." She said to herself, whipping out a cell phone. "Gems. We're going to need a lot of silver. And someone who can make a good maze."

The writing in this was unbearably cheesy and sloppy and uses the word "silver" too much. I'm glad I re-did this.


Closing AN:

So this is in fact based on the King of the Hill episode "the Man Who Shot Cane Skretteburg." Just with the matches drasitcally altered to be a little more original.

Anyway that was Carl Stevens Universe. A little on the weird side, and I personally think I weakened both the Gems and Hellsing a little (especially Seras, in fact if she was in her true form she could probably dwarf the Crystal Gems and put up way more of a fight; but I felt that in the events of HUC she never really "matured" so I'm reflecting that here), but the important thing is that I'm getting more into writing shorter stories and I can always edit the matches to be more flashy.

I would like to make it completely clear that the color of paint Hellsing uses is in fact "pure" teal. Exactly half-green, half-navy. I am saying this because I will later use "jade" (and I kind of already did, just not often) to refer to a color between teal and green. Really, my system for naming colors is both based on web colors and uses the red-green-blue system of mixing.

So, regarding Connie. I'm tempted to write a third chapter to this that shows the ending scene from her perspective. I mean, how would you feel if a guy who looked like a football-playing knockoff of Invader Zim (or a green Charlie Sheen) stole your book, shot a kid you knew with teal paint, got told he was dead, then looked at his hands and then acted like he was in a bad soap opera and his wife died or something, all because his fingers were covered in tyrian paint? Well, granted, said kid would have told you to paint the book first so you might have been expecting something, but still.

The design of the train station is based on the "Berlin-Spandau" station or... whatever the proper terminology for that is called. I found it by searching images of train stations.

This might be the first Steven Universe story on this site to at least tease at Steven/Connie! (Even though it is kind of more for laughs... if anything... but I do sort of like the pairing...) Particularly that conversation at the end where they are both telling off Carl like he's their disobediant son. Demonstraiting Carl's complete lack of maturity and resemblance of a 13 year old's self insert AND toying around with random ship teasing! Two birds one stone.

Also, I'd like to confirm that for every story Rip appears, Hank Hill will either appear himself or at the very least get some nod or mention. I'm not sure if I should apply this the other way around, given that Hank is actually a protagonist while Rip is a pretty minor character. The Hank-Rip thing is intended to be a recurring... myth? I don't know what to call it.

THE END.


Aradia stood on that lone rock sticking straight up from the otherwise uniform slope, looking out into the snow field heading downwards from its mountainous origin point.

And going into another tundra, filled with tank after tank futily going after mechas just about five times their size. The lasting effect of the fire balls getting drowned out by the constantly falling sleet.

The wind blowing through her standardized Rainbow Crew dress, she hardly cared about trying to make a difference. That moment in her past had already affected her. She thought that undefeatable enemies shall remain undefeatable. Her dreams as a basketball superstar had seemed crushed, and she thought that the struggles of the armed forces below was just a deeper, larger reflection. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, trying to make another prediction.

All she could think of was the following: December 21st. When it will all change.