Kili began to spend more time with the company. His arm healed and he felt better.
He didn't notice Fili avoiding him. The blonde dwarf usually left the room when Kili came in.
The dwarves welcomed Kili openly. Thorin gave him the same love that he gave Fili, and Kili didn't see the dwarves in the way that Azog had described them. Thorin explained that Kili had been adored by the dwarves in their village, and that Kili was kidnapped at the age of 2. He let his guard down.
Kili didn't sleep well. Nightmares plagued him, and he felt exhausted during the day.
When he woke for the third time in the middle of the night, he was surprised and a little frightened to see Fili watching him.
"W-What do you want?" he asked cautiously.
Fili sighed heavily as if he were exhausted. "Thorin said I'm not part of the company anymore. At least, until I apologize to you."
Kili frowned.
"I'm... sorry. For being stupid. You're my little brother, and I love you, but... My mind saw you as a threat, but my heart saw you as my brother, and my mind won over."
"It's fine," Kili said softly.
"No, it's not," Fili said angrily, but Kili sensed that the anger was directed at himself. "I had to grow up without you! Our mother is dead, and I'm used to being the only one that Thorin paid attention to. I'm used to you being a subject that was never discussed." He looked at Kili with sad eyes. "We looked for you for months. Then... all hope vanished. We gave up."
Kili frowned.
"So that's my apology," FIli mumbled, looking a little embarrassed.
Kili smiled a little. "It's fine. I guess I'm sorry, too. Azog always made me believe that you all had wanted me dead... And that I had to kill you. He did act like a father sometimes... He said I needed to be able to ignore pain and keep fighting when I'm hurt."
"But that's not right," Fili insisted. "You need to feel pain when you're fighting. You need to know when you're hurt badly."
"He didn't think so," Kili mumbled. "In battle, you kill as many enemies as you can."
Fili took a breath. "I missed you so much," he said softly. "You never came back."
"I couldn't," Kili said. "I was a baby then, right?"
"You had just learned to run," Fili said with a small smile. "You loved to do it. Run away from adults, let them chase you and it would always make you giggle and look so happy when they did."
Kili smiled, wondering how Fili could remember those details so clearly. But Thorin could have told him that.
Fili's hand slid over to Kili's, and the older dwarf gripped the younger's hand. "You were gone. But we found you again." Kili then noticed that Fili's eyes were watery, but Fili wiped his eyes quickly as he stood. "I'm going to go back to bed." He gave Kili a brief smile before leaving hurriedly.
This was probably the shittiest and most pathetic chapter of all time. But then again, I can't think of good ideas! And I'm SO SORRY for taking so long to update! I had been working on my novel and it took up all my free time :( But I promise I'll try to update once every week!
Also, I really need ideas from you guys!
