A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back with a new one-shot! I hope you like it!
This one-shot was made by my little brother and I. I also got some wonderful help from NrdyGrlOfStarTrek. She is so awesome! Thank you so much for helping me! Read her stories too! They rock!
In this one-shot, Spock may seem extremely out of character. I wanted to emphasize how annoying Spock can get sometimes. This one-shot is supposed to be funny.
Please let me know if there is anything wrong and I hope you laugh! Don't forget to review either!
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek…..
A Phaser Tag Battle
Captain Kirk knew one thing…. and one thing only.
It was something that was driving him insane.
He was extremely bored.
He and his crew, the USS Enterprise, were traveling on their five year mission in space. It had been approximately one year, three months, twelve days, fourteen hours, five minutes, and twenty-six seconds since they left Earth.
Over a week had passed since he and his comrades had experienced any dangerous situations with enemies or had ship malfunctions.
And all that resulted in one thing: James Tiberius Kirk was bored.
The Captain of the great exploring ship was spinning around in his comfortable chair, humming an old show tune, and starring into the black, starry, space.
His Science Officer Commander, Mr. Spock, approached the blond headed captain. "Captain," the Vulcan spoke in his monotone voice. "May I suggest we overlook the Navigation Coordinates?" he requested.
Jim gave an exasperated sign. This was the seventh time today Spock had said that. Yes, Kirk had been counting….
The StarFleet Captain looked to his Commanding Officer and gave him a look of annoyance. "Mr. Chekov, what are our readings?" he asked a tad bit sarcastically.
"Aye, sir!" Chekov spoke slightly less enthusiastic than usual. The Russian scanned the navigation system. "Vee are still on track for our destination, Keptin."
"Good. Are there any unusual sightings?" Kirk replied.
"No sir, there iz nothing." Chekov said.
"Nothing, Mr. Chekov?"
"Nothing sir…."
Kirk sighed and looked back up to his Commander. He clasped his hands together. "Mr. Spock, there is nothing out there."
Spock's eyes darted. "Captain, I do not understand your remark." The Vulcan replied.
Jim raised his arms in the air in mock defeat. "Oh well, I should probably try to make myself more clear!"
He pointed a finger to the far back of the bridge. "Lieutenant Uhura," he spoke. "Are we receiving any incoming transmissions?"
"No Captain." The Communication Officer said as she checked the console for data. "There are no transmissions."
"None at all?"
"No sir." She tiresomely replied.
Jim turned his head sharply back to his First Officer. "See Spock? Nothing…"
Spock gave his Captain a questioning look, still not understanding Kirk's point.
The StarFleet Captain sighed again. "Let me try again…" he flipped open his communicator.
"Bones, are there any emergencies down there in the Medical Bay?" he asked impatiently.
He was greeted by a rough Southern accent. "No Jim, nothing is going on here. I'm just hanging out down here and trying to avoid you…." The doctor spoke sarcastically.
Kirk frowned and chuckled at his best friend. "Okay, no emergencies what-so ever?"
"No! What are you trying to do?" the voice said angrily. "I'm a doctor, dang it! I know when there's an emergency or not!"
The Captain shut his communications device as the medical doctor continued to rant on.
Jim huffed with frustration at his doctor and contacted his Chief Engineer. "Hey Scotty!" he called.
"Aye Captain?" replied a Scottish accent that belonged to none other than Montgomery Scott.
"Are we having any kind of malfunction with the ship?" the blond haired man asked.
"No…" Scotty replied slowly. "She's doing fine…. There are no troubles."
"None at all?"
"What are yer getting at Captain? Are you feeling alright?" the Engineer spoke.
Kirk smiled and gave a little chuckle. "No Scotty…. I'm fine. I'm just trying to prove a point to a certain someone…."
It took a good six seconds for the man on the other end to reply. "Aye Captain…." He finally said. "I understand that perfectly…"
Kirk shut the device and turned around to face his Vulcan Commander.
"Commander Spock, there is nothing blocking our navigations, there are no transmissions, there are no emergencies, and there are no malfunctions at all." He spoke irritably.
Confused, Spock shook his head. "Captain, I do not understand what you are implying. Am I not performing admirably?"
"No Commander." He retorted. "What I am trying to prove is that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, out there in space."
The Vulcan paused. "That would be news to be relieved of, there are no unknown enemies attacking us." He said, slightly confused.
"Well, that is the point Mr. Spock. I'm proposing that while we're all sitting here being bored, I think that we should all have some fun."
Spock lifted his head up ever so slightly in disbelief. "I see….what is your idea of having fun, Captain?"
The young Captain smiled deviously and made an announcement to the entire ship. "Crew, please assemble, we're going to do something to pass the time…."
Kirk walked up and down the line of his most trusted and loyal crewmates. "Thank you everyone for coming up here to the bridge on such short notice." He suddenly stopped walking and stood up straight. "As you may know of, there are absolutely no emergencies, enemies, or malfunctions going on… I think that now would be an appropriate time to have a bit of a distraction."
"Vhat do you vant us to do, Keptin?" the young navigator asked curiously.
"That is an excellent question, Mr. Chekov. You see, I was thinking of a friendly little game of phaser tag." He stated.
Spock suddenly stepped in. "Captain, are you suggesting we all race around the Enterprise with deadly weapons?" the Vulcan held up his hand. "Before you speak anything, I must say that idea is highly illogical."
Jim frowned and shook his head. "Give it a break Spock; we'll set the phasers to stun. You, Commander, are going to have fun." He paused and pointed a finger at the Vulcan. "That's an order."
"So," he said. "Let's spilt up into teams..."
The crew members nodded.
"McCoy and Scotty, Chekov and Spock, and Sulu and me. Uhura, you'll be our scorekeeper. Sound fair?" he asked.
Everyone was nodding in approval until a certain Vulcan interrupted the silence. "Captain," he spoke. "I find that my team pairing is very 'unfair'. My calculations suggest that between myself and the ensign, we will lose instantly because of the ensign's lack of proper skill with a phaser."
"Ey!" Chekov, the ensign protested.
Kirk simply stared at Spock and licked his lips slightly in annoyance. "Commander… let's get started."
Precisely Ten Minutes Later…
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
"Mr. Sulu…" Kirk said out of breath over his shoulder. "How are we doing?"
The Asian replied back hastily. "We are outnumbered, sir."
The game had been going for a good ten minutes. Surprisingly, no one, not even Ensign Pavel Chekov, had been eliminated with a stun blast.
Instead of taking each other out one by one, the two other teams decided to gang up (probably Spock's idea…) on Kirk and Sulu.
The two of them huddled underneath one of the navigation stations trying to defend themselves while McCoy and Scotty were shooting their shiny phasers at them.
Kirk saw Spock and Chekov up ahead in the turbo-lift discussing something. Then the Captain heard, "Ensign, cover me." from the Vulcan Commander.
Jim watched as Spock made his way through the main center of the bridge and attempted to take out the doctor and engineer. Scotty saw the Commander and shot a phaser blast at him. Spock tried to dodge, but the stun managed to hit his left shoulder. He gave a grunt, dropped his phaser rifle, and stumbled to the ground.
Jim gave a little chuckle but went back to his defense as Bones continued to shoot at him and his teammate.
He was soon greeted by a beep. It was his communicator. It was Spock.
"Captain," he said. "I stated that if you desired to put me with Mr. Chekov, we would be defeated at once. My calculations were correct. I am very disappointed with you, Captain. I-"
Kirk shut his communicator and shook his head at the some-what paralyzed Vulcan lying on the floor.
Shaking with sweat, Jim gave a final pull on his phaser and stunned Mr. Chekov, claiming the victory. "Oh yeah!" he hooted.
He looked over to his friends, who were pulling themselves up from the ground. "How fun was that!?" he asked excitedly.
"It vas avesome!" Chekov announced as he jumped up from the white floor. "Can ve do it again?"
Jim looked at the young boy and laughed. He did a fancy trick with the gun in his hand. "Another win for Captain Kirk! Who is up for another round?"
He smiled as everyone raised their hands. "Captain," Spock said. "I'm ready for more…. fun."
Kirk nodded and gave a playful smirk. "It's on Commander, it's on…."
The Captain of the USS Enterprise then decided that he wasn't bored anymore.
THE END
A/N: How about that? Was it funny!? I laughed a lot while writing it! Did you catch the ending with Chekov? Spock was complaining that Chekov was going to lose first, but in the end, Chekov almost won! Haha!
Let me know what you thought of it and/or there was anything wrong with the information.
Please review, all authors love it!
Catch you later!
