A/N: Hello! Here is a new one-shot! I wanted to be able to get one up before school starts! Enjoy! I had a lot of laughs making this one.

This was inspired by my taekwondo instructor. She told me the story at a tournament, and well, I thought that it was hilarious. I wanted to be able to incorporate it into some kind of story, so here it is!

Enjoy and don't forget to review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek.


Hit the Brakes!


Shore leave. Oh, how Leonard McCoy hated shore leave. The doctor of the USS Enterprise couldn't even count on his fingers how many times shore leave had gone wrong. He shivered even thinking about it.

When the surgeon heard that his captain, James T. Kirk wanted to go down on a Class M resort-like planet for a bit of relaxation, Bones did everything in his power to refuse to go. There was no way he was going to set foot on another dangerous shore leave.

"Oh, come on, Bones!" his captain complained. "It'll be fun!"

The doctor shook his head. "No, Jim. I told you, I have more important things to do on the Enterprise."

Kirk frowned but still persisted. "But I told you, it's just going to be a guy's shore leave; a men's retreat."

"Hmmm…" the dark haired man replied as he scratched his head. "Who exactly is coming?"

Jim's face brightened. "Well, myself, hopefully you, and then I think I somewhat convinced Spock to join."

Bones made a surprised face. "Really? You've gotten that green-blooded hobgoblin to come along?"

Kirk nodded back in confirmation with a smug look on his face. He was apparently very proud of himself. "Yeah, I think so. I told our First Officer that we needed him to explore the unknown areas of the planet to make sure that everything is absolutely safe."

McCoy considered all the possibilities of pulling pranks on the stern Vulcan. The pros overpowered the cons. The doctor crossed his arms. "What exactly are we planning to do on shore leave?" he asked.

Jim grinned like it was his golden birthday. "Does this mean that you're coming?" he questioned playfully.

"Well, it depends on what we're doing," McCoy replied.

Kirk waved his hands around as he explained his ideas to McCoy. "I thought we could go and enjoy nature."

"Sounds like a plan." The doctor paused, leaned forward, and whispered into his friend's ear. "Do you think that we could screw around with Spock?"

Kirk nodded and smiled back deviously. "Maybe…"


Leonard McCoy sighed deeply as he breathed in the fresh air. It was a beautiful day on the Class M planet. They had visited the planet numerous times for shore leave and every single time they had visited there, something had gone wrong. But McCoy thought that this time, everything would be alright for once.

Little did the doctor know that he was very wrong…

The planet was a very successful and populated land. Villagers scrambled out and about in their own business, children played in the streets, and the atmosphere of the skyline was very peaceful. Today, however, seemed to be especially busy, the crowds were larger than usual.

The three men of the shore leave party, Kirk, McCoy, and surprisingly Mr. Spock, took their somewhat logical guesses about what the commotion was and made their way to the crowded area.

On average, about twenty men, women, and children were surrounding a little worn-down shop. The children were shouting with joy as they watched their parents rent a brightly colored bicycle from the merchants.

"Well, would you look at that?!" Kirk exclaimed. "We should go rent a bike and go for a ride."

As if on cue, Bones shook his head violently. "I don't think so, Jim. I'll just walk."

Jim snorted back. "You're just a bottle of fun aren't you?"

"Whatever."

The captain shook his head in disbelief. "What about you, Spock?" He gestured to the Vulcan that was standing in an awkward position. "Want to go rent a bicycle?"

Jim Kirk paused for a slight second and jerked a finger back at his Science Officer. "Don't say no."

Spock stared back and slowly began to speak in reply. "Captain, I must inform you that I-"

Jim suddenly interrupted. "Don't even say what I think you're going to say. I order you to come on a bike ride with me."

Mr. Spock stiffened. He raised a dark eyebrow ever so slightly. "As you wish, Captain."

Kirk clapped his hands together, laughed with glee, and smacked the Vulcan's shoulder. "Great! This is going to be awesome. This way, you can observe the unknown areas faster! Come on!"

The blond haired man sprinted towards the bicycle shack. "I call dibs on the red one!"


McCoy grunted as he trudged alongside his fellow Starfleet crewmates on the side of the road. He was bored and ready for some kind of action. The three of them had located a small trail leading into a forest and were beginning their journey.

Kirk hopped on his dashing fire red bicycle and sped off a few yards ahead. Spock on the other hand, walked his sky blue bike at a steady pace. McCoy sensed that the Vulcan was hiding something; he could see that Mr. Spock seemed to be a little irritated about his whole 'bike ride'.

Bones looked at the alien beside him. "Aren't you going to ride it?"

Spock kept his gaze straight ahead at the lush green forest. "I am not sure if I am capable of doing so, doctor."

The surgeon was just about to reply when he heard Kirk, who was a good ten feet away from them shouting, "Hey! Look at this!"

When the two blue shirted men approached their captain, they looked down to see that in front of them was a series of several steps leading down to the path.

McCoy shrugged. "I guess we should turn back; there's no way we can safely get down."

Kirk looked appalled. "What!? You operate and see blood every day, but you don't want to go down twenty steps?"

"Well what if I don't want to?"

Spock, who hadn't said much at all suddenly interjected. "Captain, how do you suggest we proceed?"

Kirk looked to his First Officer and nodded. "Thank you for supporting me, Mr. Spock." He looked back to McCoy and winked playfully. "Watch this."

And with that, James T. Kirk, AKA, The Dare Devil sped rambunctiously down the stairs. "Whoo!" he hooted.

Bones cringed as he saw his captain bounce aggressively down the hill of rough and ragged stairs. The blood red bike jiggled and vibrated up and down, tossing Kirk into the air as the blond haired man clung desperately onto the handle bars. When he landed at the bottom of the stairs, he gestured for the two men above him to join him.

Leonard exchanged glances with the Vulcan. The two of them usually couldn't agree on anything. But in this situation, they did.

"That was totally illogical, right?"

The Vulcan nodded. "Indeed…"

Spock and Bones proceeded to cautiously make their way down the carved stone steps with the ocean colored bike.

"Well, Jim." McCoy started when he reached the other biker at the end of the little concrete hill. "I'm glad to see that you're alive."

Kirk shrugged back. "Yeah, me too. It was actually pretty rough."

The doctor wrinkled his forehead together. "Yeah, you think!?" he spoke sarcastically.

Kirk hopped back on this transporting vehicle and sped back off, leaving dust in his place. "Whatever!" he called. "This is fun!"

McCoy just rolled his eyes and continued to walk with Spock, who surprisingly hadn't said a word. The Vulcan was awfully quiet. It was very odd because Spock would have usually recited several illogical reasons for his captain's previous actions.

"What's wrong, Spock?" he asked. "Afraid you're going to scratch your brain if you ride the bike?"

Spock frowned slightly in annoyance. "Doctor, I must confess something."

"Shoot."

The First Officer of the USS Enterprise spoke slowly. "I do not know how to operate a bicycle."

McCoy did his best not to laugh. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, doctor. You are correct." Spock's monotone did not provide the evidence that he felt anything about the situation.

Bones stopped Spock and gripped the handlebars of the blue bicycle. "I'll teach you, it's easy."

The Vulcan looked up from the ground. "Are you certain?"

The doctor smiled for once and put his calloused hand on Spock's shoulder. "Sure as can be. You'll be riding this bike faster than you can say 'Logical'!"

Spock nodded back. "Shall we begin?"

McCoy returned the nod and began to show the Science Officer how to mount the bike and steer left and right. Within a matter of seconds, Spock started to pedal with caution while McCoy helped the Vulcan keep his balance by holding onto the back of the seat.

Bones couldn't help but feel very odd. It felt like Spock was a child that was practicing to ride a bike without training wheels.

After the fourth attempt of riding without help, and hearing the Vulcan mutter 'illogical' for the sixth time, Spock was pedaling freely down the dirt pathway all by himself.

"Nice going!" McCoy called. He scowled as he did so; he felt like he was the First Officer's father. "I'll tell you when to stop!"

But unfortunately, due to a mosquito buzzing in his pointed ear, Spock did not hear the doctor's instructions.


James Tiberius Kirk raced gleefully down the dirt path on his awesome bike; he was having the time of his life. He decided then and there that this was the best shore leave ever. He loved riding his motorcycle at home, which sadly, had to stay on Earth. The fire red bicycle was the closest thing to his beloved motorcycle!

The captain glanced back behind him to see that his First Officer was trailing behind, pedaling uneasily on his own blue bike. Jim snickered at the sight of the Vulcan trying to keep his balance on the vehicle.

Jim started to pedal more hastily, as if he was in a race, when suddenly, he heard a loud snap.

To his surprise, Kirk was flung off the bicycle and landed on his back in a heap on the hard, cold ground.

He groaned as he felt a sharp pain in this right foot. He looked up from the ground at his bike that was lying in defeat next to him and he saw the source of incident.

The chain had snapped.

Jim made an unpleasant sound and put his head back on the ground. He had been having so much fun!

"Spock!" someone called.

Kirk jerked his head back up and saw that his First Officer was speeding dangerously fast towards him. He saw a glimpse of Bones flailing his arms into the air. "Hit the brakes!" the doctor yelled.

Spock turned his head around and made a confused expression at the surgeon. "Pardon?"

"Stop!" Bones screamed. "You're going to hit Jim!"

That was when James T. Kirk realized that he was going to get run over by a Vulcan riding a bicycle.

The captain tried to squirm away, but his right ankle had been caught in the spokes of the bicycle's wheel. He closed his eyes and put his arms over his head, as if to protect himself. Why did it have to come to this?

"Stop, you robot! Stop!" McCoy wailed. "Squeeze the brake handles!"

"I am trying, doctor." The Vulcan hastily replied.

But he was too late, within seconds; Spock sped closer to Captain Kirk at precisely twenty miles per hour and collided into the man on the ground. Spock continued to ride the bicycle for a few more yards before figuring out how to control the brakes and he gradually came to a stop.

"I have the knowledge to stop now, doctor." He replied coolly, yet there was a hint of fear in his tone.

Bones ran quickly over to his captain, who was lying motionlessly on the ground. "Jim!" he spoke and his tapped the man's cheek. "Jim, wake up!" The blonde haired man had a nasty cut on his forehead.

Spock awkwardly got off of his bike and strode over to McCoy with apparent shock on his face. The Vulcan put his hands on his hips and stared at his captain for a moment. "Is the captain alright?" he asked.

McCoy looked up from inspecting his friend, frowned at the Vulcan, and tapped Spock's foot twice. "Well done, Spock. I was looking for a way to get Jim to stop being so annoying." The doctor raising his arms in a joyous position, "You've killed him!" he yelled sarcastically.

Spock suddenly froze and his dark brown eyes widened in shock. "I've killed the captain?" he exclaimed.

McCoy scoffed, shook his head, and looked back to Jim. "No you idiot, you and your marvelous bike riding just knocked him out. He'll wake up in a few minutes. Let's hope he doesn't have a concussion."

Spock dropped down on the ground next to McCoy. "Doctor," he scolded. "I must say that informing me that I murdered the captain-when I did not-was highly illogical."

"Will you and your logic shut up?" McCoy paused and tended to Jim's wound. "Stupid shore leave..." he muttered grumpily.

Luckily, Bones had brought his medical kit along with him, and within minutes, he had several bandages covering Captain Kirk's head wound. With Spock's help, McCoy managed to free Jim's ankle from the bicycle's spokes. The foot was not in good shape. It was been twisted very badly.

The doctor picked up his communications device. "We better alert the Enterprise." He said as he heard the familiar beeps of the device power up.

Something was wrong. No one from the USS Enterprise was answering.

"Hmph," the doctor grunted. "Communications must be down."

McCoy tossed the device to Mr. Spock, "Keep trying to contact the ship."

"Yes, doctor."

Suddenly, Jim started to stir. The captain groaned as if he was a teenager waking up. His eyelids fluttered. "Am I dead?" he asked. "I sure feel like I am."

"No captain," Mr. Spock spoke. "I assure you that I did not kill you."

McCoy shot the Vulcan an irritated look. "You're fine, Jim. You just got a nasty cut and a twisted ankle."

Jim's bright blue eyes met McCoy's and the captain slowly began to move his hand towards the top of his head. He gasped when he felt the bandages sheltering the wound. "I'm gonna die!" he moaned.

Bones shook his head. "You're such a drama queen." The surgeon helped the captain to his feet. "We've tried to contact the Enterprise, but I think that the ship is having some kind of technical difficulty. I can't get a signal."

Jim clenched his teeth together as pain filled his body. "Well, keep trying; I want to get out of here."

By now, it was starting to become dark. The sun was saying goodbye for the day.

"Do you remember which way we came?" Kirk asked.

No one replied. The sudden feeling of dread filled the three men's thoughts. They were lost.

"Let's keep walking." Jim tried to be optimistic. "Maybe we'll get a better signal from the ship."

The two blue shirted men agreed and started their journey with the two bicycles in hand.


Precisely Two Hours Later. . .


They were tired, they were dirty, they were cold, and they were lost. Sure, these three men could pilot a starship in space, but they couldn't find their way out of a forest preserve.

It was pitch black now, and the only light they had was a small flashlight and the moon.

Kirk was balancing on a walking stick while Spock and Bones walked along side with the bicycles. The blue eyed captain was just about to put his stick down on the ground and take a step when he realized that his staff hadn't even touched the ground. The captain glanced beside him and noticed that he was standing right next to him was a huge chasm.

He gasped, shuffled away from it quickly, and wiped the present sweat off of his bandaged head. One wrong step and he would have been a goner.

"Guys?!" he called. He waited for an answer, he couldn't see anything.

"Yeah, Jim?" Bones replied.

"Don't look down!"

Five seconds later the captain heard a little screech come from someone's mouth. "Okay!" Bones replied. "Not looking down!"

"Spock?" Kirk asked. "Are you still here?"

"Yes, Captain." The Vulcan replied quietly. "There is still no response from the Enterprise."

Jim shook his head. "Well, I'm tired of waiting." He paused. "I know this sounds silly, but how about we sing some songs to pass the time?"

An angry southern voice retorted back. "No way! I'm a doctor, dang it, not some Boy Scout trooper!"

Kirk decided to ignore his friend and began to whistle an old show tune. Sometime later, McCoy and Spock both joined in and they continued to sing many melodic songs.

Towards the end of the song "Luck Be a Lady", Mr. Spock received a message from the USS Enterprise.

Kirk hollered with joy. "Beam us up!" he cried.


Days later, the "Troublesome Trio's Great Bicycle Adventure" was going around the whole ship. Everyone knew about Kirk's injury, Spock's talented bike riding skills, and McCoy's grumpiness.

"So," Kirk asked the surgeon. "Even though shore leave went wrong for the one millionth time, did you have any kind of fun?"

McCoy snorted and crossed his arms. "Yeah, I had fun."

Jim rolled his eyes back at his friend. "Whatever, Bones." The captain leaned forward to the doctor. "Next time though," he whispered. "Teach Spock how to hit the brakes before he gets on a bike."

McCoy scoffed and shook his head. "Trust me. That Vulcan won't be getting on a bicycle for a very long time…"


THE END


A/N: How was that?! Please tell me what you think! I hope you laughed a little bit. Sorry if anyone in this story is out of character, especially Spock. But those events really happened in my taekwondo instructor's story, so I had to make sure I got the parts in.

The real story is my instructor decided to take her two young boys (9 and 7) on a bike ride. And well, things went wrong. The dialogue went something like this:

"I've killed my brother!"

"I'm gonna die!"

So yeah, I had fun making this! Hopefully you enjoyed reading! Please leave a review for me! It means so much.

Catch you later!