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I swung my legs over Jim's lap and dug my toes into the sand. The sun was setting, and I was seriously questioning why I let Jim talk me into hanging out at the beach in the middle of October. He ran his hand over my leg and wrapped the other one around my shoulders to try and warm me.
"We should make a bonfire!" Someone shouted from the other side of the lazy circle we had formed. "We" being myself, Len, Jim, and about five of Jim's "friends" whose names I couldn't remember, and the girl from the bar, Lindsey. Leonard and I shared an annoyed look, bonfires weren't really our thing. Socializing in general actually, and it was obvious that we just wanted to leave.
Jim kissed my temple and pulled me out of my thoughts. I smiled and looked up at him. He had his eyebrows raised, silently asking if I was okay with a bonfire. My head tilted to the side and for a moment I was caught up in how nice it was to be sitting in his arms. Nodding lazily, I laid my head on his shoulder. Maybe socializing wasn't so bad under certain circumstances. A few people got up to find driftwood and Jim tossed someone a lighter.
"Get a room." I heard someone mutter. Looking up I saw Lindsey glaring at me out of the corner of her eye. All the effort I went through to get Len to not hate that bitch and she still couldn't let go of one little punch. Leonard said something to her too softly for me to hear as Jim whispered some sweet nothing to me.
"I'm gonna grab a drink from the car, anybody want anything?" I said as I got up off Jim's lap. He looked concerned for a moment but was quickly quelled when I shot him a reassuring smile. Walking behind Len and Lindsey, I made sure to "accidentally" kick some sand into her entirely-too-low pants. Just because I convinced Len not to hate her doesn't mean I wasn't allowed to hate her.
"Wait up!" I heard Len call from behind me. I turned to see him jogging towards me.
"What's up?" I asked.
"Nothing, it's just… are you okay?" He asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I was honestly confused.
"You just don't really seem like yourself, and this," He gestured back to the group, "doesn't really seem like your sort of thing."
"Normally, no. But it is Jim's thing and it won't kill me to meet people every now and then." I said. Truthfully, it wasn't my thing. But I just couldn't say no to those big blue eyes.
"Just 'cause Jim wants to be here doesn't mean you have to be." He countered.
"It doesn't really seem like your sort of thing either, so why are you here?" I shot back with my hand on my hip.
"Lindsey really wanted to come." He said looking back at her.
"She couldn't come alone?" I pushed.
"So where does that leave me? Sitting in my dorm alone while my girlfriend and best friend are off enjoying themselves?" He spat at me.
"So pretty much right where I would be." I smiled and grabbed a beer from the cooler.
"Why don't we leave the social butterflies to mingle?" He suggested with a smile.
"And just what would we be doing?" I asked with a small smile.
"Dunno. Walking?" He said with a shrug.
"Don't you think that'll seem sort of rude?" I didn't want Jim to think I'd rather spend time with Len than him.
"We're running low on ice. There's a store maybe a mile up the beach that should still be open." He pointed to a small light building up the beach. I smiled.
"Sounds good." I said, refusing the urge to over analyze why I wanted to leave with Len rather than stay with Jim. I was never much of a social person, and quelled the little voice in the back of my head. "Jim! Hey babe, Len and I are gonna run and get some more ice, 'kay?" He nodded and waved and Lindsey gave an annoyed nod. I never would have thought that a nod could be annoyed, she certainly did have a gift.
We walked in silence for a little while. Listening to the waves crash and the gulls cry. The wind picked up and I crossed my arms to help guard against the cold. Leonard, in true Leonard fashion, pulled his sweatshirt off over his head and handed it to me.
"Well now you're going to be cold." I said, refusing to accept it.
"I've got thicker skin than you do." He joked, sweatshirt still in his extended arm.
"Nuh-uh!" I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Just shut up and take the sweatshirt." He shook his head at me.
"Don't tell me what to do!" I shot back as I turned around and backpedaled away from him a little.
"Then don't do stupid things!" He returned my volley and picked up the pace to catch up with me. I turned and started running towards the waves and he chased me, sweatshirt in hand. My bare feet hit cold, wet sand and I stopped suddenly out of surprise. Leonard caught up to me and swept me off the ground. I kicked wildly, half laughing and half screaming. I kicked one of his legs and we both fell to the ground next to one another. I rolled over to face him and he held the sweatshirt up. Shoving it in his face, I scampered to my feet and ran a few feet towards to store.
"Great, now I'm sandy and wet." He gruffed as he rose to his feet.
"And cold, I'd imagine. Good thing you have that sweatshirt." I teased. When he reached me he threw his arm around my shoulder and we fell into a steady pace walking together.
"Can I ask you something?" He broke the silence.
"Shoot."
"What do you see in him? Is it just that he's hot, because if that's all it is I don't know if you should be leading him on like this." He said quickly, like he wanted to shut up as soon as he possibly could.
"It's not just that he's hot. He's a genius of course, and he really is sweet. What do you mean leading him on?" I asked. Of all the things I was doing with Jim Kirk, leading him on never hit me as one of them.
"I don't know. I guess it's different if you really like him. I just mean that if you were just messing around with him then why bother dating him, he happily just fools around. But if you really like him it's different." He said.
"You mean 'he would just fool around'." I corrected. Leonard stopped dead in his tracks.
"...I think you two should talk." He said quietly.
"Leonard, is he still fooling around with other people?" I asked as I felt my face flush.
"I probably just misread something, it's not a big deal." He tried to play it off.
"WHAT did you misread?" I asked more frantically.
"Listen, talk to him about it okay? It's not my place to get in the middle of your relationship." He took his arm back from around my shoulder as he went into the store. A minute or two later he reemerged with ice.
"You okay?" He asked when he saw I hadn't moved a muscle. I looked up at him and then out at the ocean. I just stared out at the ocean and Len watched my expression.
"What does he say about me?" I asked, painfully aware of how much like a teenage girl I sounded.
"He says that you're different. That he wants to take things slow. Which seems stupid to me, seeing as how you two first got together but hey, it's not my relationship." He said and I willed myself to ignore what I thought was disappointment in his voice.
"Does he ever talk about the other girls?"
"He's never used anyone's name before, and he's never commented on anything above the neck before." He tried to comfort me.
"I don't need consoling, I need the truth Leonard." I insisted.
"I'm no liar, darlin'." He said. I sighed.
"This is cliche and dumb." I said without moving.
"Yep." Was his only comment. I turned around and we started back to the rest of the group. Jim smiled when he saw us and got up to jog over to meet us.
"You alright, baby?" He asked me as he put his hands on my upper arms which were crossed across my body.
"We need to talk." I said shortly. He looked over at Leonard confused and Leonard gave him an apologetic look. The two of us walked down to the water.
"Are we exclusive?" I asked bluntly. He didn't blink an eye.
"Do you want to be?" He countered.
"I thought we were." I said, meeting and holding his eye.
"I… I can only speak from now on. I wasn't sure…" He trailed off.
"Asking never hurt any." I muttered.
"I didn't want to rush you." He looked honestly sorry. Damn big blue eyes.
"That's a piss poor excuse." I said half-heartedly. The other half of my heart had melted into a puddle before those eyes.
"I never claimed to be perfect." He said.
"I never asked for perfect." I said looking looking him straight in the eye.
"You never asked for anything." He countered harshly.
"What?" I asked. I really thought I had misheard him. He was never like this. Jim was friendly, he was a sweetheart.
"You didn't ask for anything. I had no idea where we stood. I didn't break the rules because you never told me the rules!" He exclaimed.
"Jim, I didn't know where we stood either! And 'the rules'? I shouldn't have to explain the rules because we shouldn't have rules! You should do what you want, and if you want to sleep around then sleep around!" I screamed. "Do what you want. Do whatever you damn well please, Jim." I said softly as I walked away.
"Where are you going, to screw some new guy like you did with me when you got upset with Len?" He yelled after me. I couldn't do anything but turn and stare. He knew. He knew and he was hurt. He knew that I was only sleeping with him because of Leonard and he still went through with it. He knew and he still acted as though we were deeply in love and the only reason we went home together was because we liked each other. He KNEW. I turned to leave.
No. HE didn't know. THEY knew. Everyone. Leonard was shocked, Lindsey was pissed, and everyone else looked as though this was an everyday occurrence in the lives of the friends of Jim Kirk. What if this was an everyday occurrence in the lives of the friends of Jim Kirk? I wasn't anything special to him, no matter what Len said. This was the specific sort of jackass that Kirk was. He didn't keep notches on his bedpost, he kept broken hearts in his scrapbook and claimed to share the heartache. I was in a cab on the way back to my dorm before I even stopped to pay attention to what I was doing.
Well... that happened. I'm sorry for the sadness :'( BUT! This means the Bones/Addy can move forward! Yay! And you know, the more you lovely people review, the faster I'll update. No reviews = No apparent interest = Long waits for updates. Also: reviews = sunshine and happiness. Ask anyone! Thanks all!
-KT
