After Lila was born, it quickly became clear that she was not going to be an easy baby. For God's sake she was born on a day that there was a hurricane outside. During the day, she was the sweetest little girl, who cried occasionally, but at night was when she let her true colors shine. Crying echoed through the baby monitor for the fourth time that night and it was only 11:30. Kurt woke up and groaned.
'Blaine, your turn." he muttered hitting his husband in the face.
"I went the last time." Blaine shot back sleepily.
'That was two times ago." Kurt retorted. "I got the last time when she hungry. It's your turn." Kurt said as he ripped the covers off of Blaine's body and wrapped them around himself as an act of motivation for his husband to get up. Blaine groaned, sat up and bitch glared at Kurt. "I can feel your bitch glare and it doesn't affect me. Go pick up your daughter." Kurt mumbled. Blaine pushed himself off the bed and began to walked blindly of his room and into the nursery. On the way there he managed to bang his pinky toe on the edge of the table.
"Ow! Fuck!" Blaine hissed as he clutched his toes. "Let's have a kid Blaine. It'll be amazing he said." Blaine muttered. When he got into the nursery, he walked over to Lila's crib and found her red faced and all tangled up in her blankets.
"Lila, how on earth did you even do this?" Blaine asked his daughter as he unraveled her blankets and then picked her up and positioned her on his shoulder. The little girl continued to scream so Blaine just rocked her back and forth until a little burp and lot of spit up appeared onto Blaine's shirt. Lila's cries turned into little whimpers as Blaine switched shoulders so she wouldn't be in her vomit and wiped it away with a burp cloth. "Well at least you feel better…" He muttered as he put her back into her crib and placed a pacifier in her mouth. Lila looked up at him with her big blue eyes and lay contently in her crib. Blaine was so happy. He was in the clear. He walked quietly out of her room and back into his and Kurt's room. He reached over Kurt gently to grab his other shirt.
"Eww Blaine, you smell." Kurt whined.
"That's because your daughter threw up on me." Blaine shot back.
"Gross. Stay on your side because you smell like baby vomit." Kurt told him as he inched as close to the edge of the bed as he could. Blaine threw on his other shirt and got back into bed to get as much sleep as he could. Sadly, an hour later, cries echoed through the monitor.
"Blaine...please? I have to get up early tomorrow." Kurt asked.
"Hell no. I got up last time and got puked on." Blaine said. "Your turn." Kurt sighed knowing he was right. It was his turn. He walked into Lila's nursery and picked her up. Instantly he could feel how saggy her diaper was and knew that she needed to be changed.
"Lila, why didn't you save this for Daddy?" He asked as he set her on the changing table. He unsnapped her sleeper and then undid the tabs on her diaper. Baby poop was so gross. Kurt cringed at the smell and proceeded to wipe away the mess. "Kid, you better be thankful for this."he muttered as he finished putting a new diaper on Lila. Then he set her back into her crib and thankfully she didn't cry. Kurt went back into their room and got into bed.
"Poopy diaper?" Blaine asked.
"Yup." Kurt replied.
"Haha, sucks for you." Blaine teased.
"Shut up." Kurt moaned as he buried himself under the covers. Throughout the rest of the night Lila must have woken them up at least ten times. By the next morning, Kurt and Blaine were exhausted. They each siped huge mugs of coffee as Lila slept peacefully in her swing.
"I'm starting to think she's nocturnal." Blaine muttered.
"Or she just hates us." Kurt offered. Blaine shrugged his shoulders.
"Either one." he muttered. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, Blaine went over and answered it. It was Santana and Brittany.
"We're here to see the little princess!" Brittany said happily.
"If you want the little princess you can have her." Blaine muttered. Kurt slapped him lightly on the shoulder.
"You guys look like crap. Up all night doing the nasty?" she asked sarcastically.
"Haha Santana you're so funny." Blaine shot back sarcastically. "Like we have anytime at all with this nocturnal demon baby crying all night."
"Wow...okay." Santana said. " Note-to-self: Blaine is not nice on like two hours of sleep." she said. "Why don't we take Lila for a few hours and you guys can get some sleep? she suggested.
"Oh god, would you really do that?" Kurt asked hopefully.
"Sure. Go take a nap and take your cranky husband with you." Santana said.
"Bless your soul." Kurt said as he grabbed Blaine's hand and tugged him up from the couch to the bedroom. "Bye Lila, Daddies' love you." Brittany smiled and picked up Lila from her swing and cradled her against her chest. Santana picked up the diaper bag next to the swing and they let themselves out. Back in the bedroom, Kurt and Blaine were finally sleeping peacefully. It felt amazing. About three hours later there was a knock on their door and Kurt got up. Kurt opened the door and Santana and Brittany were outside with Lila.
"Here." Santana said handing over Lila. "Babysitter time is over. Hope you had a good nap." Kurt took Lila in his arms and kissed her head.
"Yeah...It was good. A little more sleep makes me less likely to kill her." Kurt said. "Blaine is still sleeping. I'll just let him do that and make him get up more times tonight."
"That's evil Hummel." Santana said. "Good job." she added with a smirk.
"Thanks, learned from the best." Kurt replied. "I'll talk to you guys later." he said before they walked away and shut the door. Lila whined a little and Kurt figured she was probably hungry so he grabbed the bottle off of the counter and sat down on the couch to feed her.
"Oh Lila, you're going to be Papa's little sleep deprivation monster aren't you?" he said. "If you could give me and Daddy just four hours we would be so grateful." Lila let out a little burp. "I'll take that a yes." Kurt said as he continued to feed her as he prayed tonight would be way better than last night.
