Author Note: Hey there! Sorry for the delay to anyone who decided to climb aboard this sequel. This chapter is from Bella's POV and is pretty short but I am still feeling things out here. Any suggestion would really be appreciated, thanks again for reading.
Sitting in the car with my phone clutched in my hand, I don't realize how long I've been there till my daughter breaks me from my reverie.
"Mom? Hello? Are we leaving? God we've been stalled here for ever! I wanna go home." Lilly says tossing her mess of copper waves to the side in frustration. Larkin sits silent as always in the back seat, but shakes his head in disapproval of his sister. I shake myself again then smile brightly. I wont let a call from him ruin my day. I am past the time where Jasper Whitlock can rattle me. Or at least I hope I am.
"Sorry, I was just thinking. How was your weekend babies?" I ask and Lilly sighs and Larkin looks out the window in disinterest.
"Okay mom, it was okay. Aunt Alice was drunk again. You know I think we are getting too old for these weekends mom." Lilly says conversationally as I turn onto the highway and make the two and a half-hour drive home.
"She's drinking again?" I ask biting my lip. Alice never really quit drinking but she was supposed to slow it down on the weekends she had her godchildren.
"It doesn't matter though, we are too old to be shipped off once a month to visit our drunk god mom who locks herself in her room the whole time anyway." Lilly says.
"Lilly." Larkin warns from the backseat.
"What? Your sixteen and I'll be fifteen in a few weeks. We really don't need this anymore." Lilly says turning to him with some desperation in her voice and Larkin frowns as if conceding to her.
"If you guys don't want to go anymore you don't have to. I just thought since we don't have much family, you liked your visits." I say, noting the looks both my children exchange.
"Good, we should have stopped this years and years ago!" Lilly mumbles and though she sounds petulant, I can't help but think something else is bothering her.
Later when we are home and the kids off to the solitude of their rooms, I sit with alone on my bed in my robe. I am supposed to be dressing for dinner but it feels pointless. Edward is never home for dinner these days, always late and always prepared with a perfect story to cover his ass.
Larkin knocks on my door then comes in and I plaster a smile on my face for him. He is such a sweet boy. So quiet and thoughtful. He is the perfect image of his real father, a subject that Edward and I have never brought up a single time. He didn't want to know and I didn't want to talk about it. The boy may be all Jasper in looks, but he does have my disposition. After the heated conversation I shared with Jasper earlier, I am glad that Larkin is only his father in looks.
"Mom?" He asks.
"Yes my boy?" I reply pulling him into my lap even though he is far too old.
"I don't want to visit Aunt Alice anymore either." he says softly, a hint of guilt in his voice.
"Its fine darling. Your teenagers, I understand. I'll talk to Alice and James next time I am in the area. They will understand." I tell Larkin and he looks relieved. My sweet boy, never wanting to hurt someone's feelings.
"Is dad going to be home for dinner?" Larkin asks.
"Of course not." Lilly answers strolling into my room and sprawling across my bed.
"Can you braid my hair mom?" Lilly asks and although I want to scold her for being rude, I cant refuse her when she willingly wants to be in my company. Larkin sinks to the floor as Lilly shoves her way into my lap, not giving me a chance to refuse.
"Sure." I say with a smile. Children were supposed to make this ache go away, I think as I comb my fingers through my daughters hair. They were supposed to make this life better. Edward was off every night with who knows who, Larkin and Lilly made me stay when I would have run years ago. My love for them deeper than any love I had for myself.
They were supposed to make this better, but if they couldn't do that, at least they made things bearable.
"Mom?" Lilly asks when Larkin excuses himself to dress for dinner.
"Yeah honey." I say softly as I mentally prepare myself for whatever Lilly is going to say. She is a forward creature, saying whatever comes to mind whenever she wants.
"Do you still love dad?" She asks and I swallow and steel myself and tell her the truth.
"Yes. I wish I didn't sometimes. But I do." I say.
"Even though you know he is probably with another woman as we speak?" Lilly says and my breath catches in my throat. I never forgot that Lilly and Larkin had caught Edward with another woman when they were younger and therefore never held much trust in him despite their love of him.
"I know your dad does things that make it seem like he doesn't care about us, but he does." I try to explain.
"Our past is sordid and difficult baby, and we have both done things that can't be forgiven. I am not perfect, and neither is your dad. But we do love you. With all we have we love you and Larkin." I tell her and I know it's the deepest truth I can give. My love.
"I doubt you would ever cheat on dad like he does you mom." Lilly says as I finish the braid in her hair. She gets to her feet swiftly, irritated but not with me.
"You deserve so much better mom." Lilly says before I have a chance to bite back my guilt, and she leaves me to prepare for dinner.
I want to tell my daughter that I am no better than Edward. I don't want these lies and secrets between us. I want her to be able to trust me with anything. I want her to have what I never had growing up.
At dinner Lilly and Larkin laugh about some joke between them and I smile just watching them when Edward comes in noisily looking drunk and disheveled. He kisses me on the mouth sloppily and Lilly frowns.
"My beautiful Bella. Dinner smells delicious." He says sitting across from me. I rise to get his plate from the oven where it usually sits till late at night when he decides to come home. He must have had his fun early tonight.
"Hey dad." Larkin says with a smile. The boy looks up to his father with a sort of desperation only a son can have for his father.
"Hey Larkin! How was your weekend son? Feels like I haven't seen you forever! This week just you and me are going to have the day together okay?" Edward says beaming at Larkin, his eyes a little glassy.
"What about me daddy?" Lilly says innocently.
"I suppose you want to go shopping?" Edward asks with a laugh and Lilly smiles indulgently.
"Or just lunch with my daddy. Is that too much?" Lilly says with a pout.
"Of course not my beauty. We'll have a father daughter day too.
I smile to myself from the kitchen as they chatter on lightly about nothing. It is so rare that the kids get time with their dad, that no matter how unaffected they act, they crave his attentions.
I place his dinner in front of him and when he smiles up at me I feel like I did all those years ago, when he was the only face that I dreamt of. I feel the deep obsessive love. Then I feel the fear. This man can destroy me.
