Day 9.
Casey had been in the hospital for more than a week. The family had often come to visit, and she would still feel guilty to think about how much she had hated most of the time they had been with her.
Nora would just keep crying all the time, and there was no way to keep her sadness from affecting Casey, too. Edwin and George were acting strong, but they were still clearly devastated, whereas Lizzie and Marti were really trying to help to cheer up the brunette, never allowing themselves to look any weak or sad in front of her.
Derek would finally go home for a shower any time the girls were with Casey. He looked almost paler than her. He hadn't been able to get much sleep for almost ten days and neither could he bring himself to eat properly. Anytime he would try to have a sandwich, he would keep picturing all the many times he had held Casey's head whenever she would throw up after she'd started chemo.
That day Derek left as soon as Lizzie got to the hospital, giving Casey a quick peck before leaving the two girls alone.
"Yeah Der, go have a shower, please…" she jokingly called after him.
"Case…" Lizzie began hesitantly.
Her sister resolutely looked at her. "Did you bring what I asked you to?"
"I did, but… come on Case, are you sure you don't want to wait for Derek to be there too? I don't know, I think he might want to be there for support or something…"
"No, Lizzie, let's do it. Now."
Derek, on the other hand, was taking longer than usual to finish his shower at home. Without realizing it, he had ended up standing still beneath the shower head, water cascading down on his head and shoulders, for what seemed to be hours. He just couldn't bring himself to move.
Their parents were out for the weekend and they had taken the younger kids with them, still not knowing Casey and Derek had been sneaking around behind their backs for a few months already.
The two of them had been playing in the backyard, chasing each other and dancing in the rain, enjoying their last few weeks of freedom and carefreeness before leaving for college.
It was starting to get dark and the rain was growing heavier, so they decided to get back inside the house.
Without turning on the light, hair still dripping wet, she was standing in the middle of the living room, unable to stop smiling, as he kept hugging her from behind, nuzzling her neck and thus causing some other small drops of water to fall on her shoulder. "Jeez, Derek, I got mud everywhere… I need a shower… now!"
She turned over to face him, eyes staring intently into his. Her hands were shaking as she tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Will… will you come with me?"
She smiled weakly, visibly scared. He stared back at her for a brief moment, then carefully picked her up in his arms to carry her upstairs, his lips pressed hard against her temple.
His phone was ringing from beside the bathroom sink, but he deliberately ignored it, lost in his memories.
Later that night, a thunderstorm was raging outside, while they were lying on his bed, under the covers. He had never been so close to any form of perfection as he was at that moment, having her beautiful naked form beneath him.
"I don't wanna hurt you…" he whispered in the crook of her neck, as she began to shyly kiss his collarbones.
As the phone rang for the third time, reality hit him, as he realized what that could've possibly meant.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, Derek rushed out of the shower, and hurriedly checked his phone, only to see there were 4 missed calls. "Sally?" he asked himself "What the hell could she want now?"
Sally had just left for college. He had seriously enjoyed how everybody just got so worried when he had threatened to follow her and drop out of school, almost causing his father a heart attack.
The option never really crossed his mind to begin with, just as much as he never fully understood what he exactly felt for her, other than undeniable physical attraction. She had slowly turned out to be probably one of his best friends, and he sure loved spending time with her, burping, joking and everything, but truth to be told, most of that time was just spent lying naked in each other's beds, barely ever questioning their feelings towards one another.
She had been gone for more than two weeks, and he was sitting back in his recliner, blankly staring at the wall in front of his. He could've sworn he wasn't experiencing any sort of sadness, he was just wondering what was going to happen of him now that the only girl that had actually endured his emotional detachment and total lack of commitment for so long was gone for good.
"Der…" he heard a voice coming from behind him in the living room. He knew who it was, as it was so early in the afternoon they were the only ones at home.
"Woah, step back Space Case. I'm not letting you try and psychoanalyze me again…"
"Der-ek!" she shrieked, coming to sit on the couch beside him. "Can't you see I just want to help you? Der, WHAT IS WRONG with you! I really tried my best in the last few days. I really tried to make you see how I care about you and…"
"Casey, there's nothing for you to help me with in the first place!"
"Yes, there is! Oh well, I don't care if there is or not, this is not actually about Sally anymore. I'm so sick of you Derek. I know you can't stand my keener ways or whatever you call them, but we've been living under the same roof for three years, three freaking years! Why can't you just show the slightest bit of affection for me! I'm tired of…"
He looked back at her in shock. She was actually crying, her arms stretched forward as if to reach out for him. "No, no, no, no! We're not doing feelings AND tears, here! I don't know what you want from me this time, but please take this upstairs, I'm so not up to hearing th..."
"I'm done trying, Derek." She stopped crying all of a sudden, sitting still for a few moments, motionlessly staring at him.
Derek sighed heavily, the look of hurt in her eyes piercing every inch of his skin. "Look, Case. I'm not gonna repeat this twice, and I'll deny ever saying it if anyone asked me, but… it's not that I don't appreciate what you've been trying to do, lately. It's just that honestly, it's pointless. I'm not heartbroken or anything."
"I told you this is not about you and Sally anymore. I hate how we always fight, Der. I know I act like I don't care, but, I actually do."
"Case, there's nothing I can do about it."
She stood up and rolled her eyes, looking fairly mad and stepping right in front of him. "Yes there is, you idiot! It's not that hard! Gosh, Edwin and Lizzie just got along from day 1 and they were younger than us! Just why do you…"
"Enough, Case. Stop ranting and leave alone, will you?"
"No! I won't leave you alone! I'm tired of this situation, I just try to make things work but you're just like my father…"
"Oh really? So I just don't give a thing about you and pretend like you don't exist, uh? Well, at least he got to live 3 hours away from you!"
She froze there immediately, heartbreak filling her eyes as he realized he had just crossed the line.
"Case… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"
She slowly raised her hand, as if to silence him. "No, you did. You did mean to hurt me. That's what you always do." She turned around and started to walk away from him, when he suddenly stood up from his armchair, grabbing her arm, causing her to face him again, tears still in her eyes.
"But you know what? It works. It DOES keep you away from me. So I can't blame anyone but myself if you don't wanna be around me."
"I guess you got what you wanted, then."
"For Pete's sake, Case! I couldn't be mad at my father for the rest of my life!"
She looked back at him with a questioning look, taken aback by how he had raised his voice. "George? What does he…"
"Case. He might have married your Mom, but we were never meant to be siblings in the first place. You're asking me to care for you as your brother. I'd rather hate you as who I really am than love you as who I'll never be."
"But you're not like this, Der…" she began hesitantly. "You're not so mean towards anyone else…"
"Jesus Christ, Casey! That's because I'm not IN LOVE with anyone else! And you think you were sick of things being the way they are, well, look at me, now! I'm way much more messed up over it! Screw it, Case. Just screw it!"
He decided not to call Sally back, sensing how pointless it would've been. He quickly got back into his room to get changed into new clothes to go back to the hospital.
Once he arrived there, he quickly headed to the third floor. "Hey girls!" he cheerfully said as soon as he stepped into Casey's room, only to find an odd surprise. She was sitting on her bed, her now visibly bald head partially covered by a basketball hat.
"Oh God… what… what did you do?"
Lizzie looked awkwardly around the room, before she was able to finally excuse herself and leave the two of them alone, going back home for the night.
Casey motioned him to sit on the bed, and so he did, taking place next to her, a look of shock still on his face.
"Alright, I guess this gives you the right to finally go flirting with the receptionist…" she chuckled, unsure of what to say next. "Come on, Derek. It was already beginning to fall out anyways."
He violently shook his head. "It was only a single chunk, Case. Two days ago. That was it!"
She looked taken aback, although she had figured he would've reacted like this, nonetheless, she hadn't wanted him to be there because she knew it would've got him even more distraught than he already was, not to say it would've come as quite a shock to him. He started shaking, exhaling deeply with each breath he'd take. "Case… it was too soon. This is just too soon."
She could feel her vision get blurry as new tears were forming into her eyes. "No, it wasn't, Derek. I just… at least I had control over it… I decided when to do it."
"No! You're just rushing things I'm not ready for, yet." He quickly cut her off, standing up from the bed. "Doctor Welsh said this first cycle would've probably let you keep most of your hair. He said you would've…"
"Derek" she sternly said, silencing him. "To me, Doctor Welsh says a bunch of things, but the truth is, he doesn't really know what's in store for the future. He's only human, just like me and you…".
Going back to sit next to her again, he let his gaze wander over her beautiful features. He reached out to wipe a few tears from her cheek with his thumb, only to end up grazing her jawline with the tips of his fingers.
"Would it be too pathetic of me if I told you you look even more beautiful every time I see you?"
A.N.: Ok, folks, so here was chapt. 3 ^_^
I know it was more about flashbacks and dialogues than the other two had been, but I hope you still liked it. I also wanted to thank you SO MUCH for reviewing and liking this fic, it rele means the world to me!
I will post chapter 4 very soon, and I'm planning on finishing this story before I have to go back to school, which will be on jan th 8th… well, keep reviewing in the meanwhile!
Love always,
Daniela
