Surrogate

Chapter 2 Of Tears and Blames

Five days later, Jane is discharged from the hospital with a prescription for pain killers, a number for a grief counselor and twelve staples.

Charles tries to speak softly, holding her hand and kissing her forehead, while tip-toeing around the issue that no one is ready to talk about but hangs over them in a heavy air that makes it almost too hard to breathe. During the ride home, Jane and Charles sit in the back-seat with her looking outside and far away and Charles meeting Elizabeth's eyes through the mirror asking for help.

It's the longest thirty minute ride they've ever taken, and Elizabeth is afraid that the blood will never truly return to the tips of her fingers when she finally lets go of the steering wheel.

Francine Bennet is waiting for them when they arrive at the Bingley's home, she makes a big fuss over her 'darling Jane' and insists that she knows best and more about everything that is wrong with her eldest daughter, even though Charlie did go to medical school for years and is much better trained on how to change the dressing of her staples.

Elizabeth can see her sister just wants to be left alone so she pulls her mother aside, asking meaningless questions about her daughter who she left in the older women's care earlier that day, it gives enough time for Jane to escape into her tub for a few minutes and also helps to satisfy Elizabeth's curiosity for her little girls well being.

They go about making dinner and cleaning the almost spotless house, while Charles folds laundry (very badly, so that Elizabeth has to redo it over as she puts it away). Jane walks out of the master bathroom in an oversized shirt and wet hair, with red-rimmed eyes that tell so much. The sisters don't say anything before embracing one another in a gently, because Jane's body is still tender from the invasive surgery.

Elizabeth feels sorry for leaving Charles to stay out in the living-room with her mother while she lays down in bed with her older sister talking about things that really don't matter, but she knows this is her sister's way of getting around to the subject and she knows that they both need to talk about it.

It happens ten minutes into a re-run of America's Next Top Model, Jane squeezes her hand and chokes on a tear.

"I miss them" she admits, sinking lower into the soft mattress.

Elizabeth strokes the soft blonde strands of hair behind Jane's ear and lets her cry and talk.

"I was barely even into my second month, but just knowing I was going to have them... That now I won't ever be able too" she takes a deep breath "It's almost killing me"

"Janey" Elizabeth mumbles against her sister's hair, something that is very confronting and familiar because even though she is a year younger she was always the strongest of the two, always the one who chased away monsters from her gentle sister. "I know it's hard to believe it right now, but things will be alright. You have a husband who loves you and a career that is your dream come true. You have a mom and dad and our crazy sisters who adore you. And I'll always be here for you, no matter what"

There is an almost smile on Jane's face, that lasts for just a second but its just enough to make it feel like it might be okay.


Jane doesn't come out of her room for a week and it takes another four days before she leaves the house, Charles is worried about his precious wife but tries not to push her because he knows she's in a lot of pain. He just wishes that she would realize that he is also. He goes back to work and tries to concentrate on everything that doesn't involve his home life, which makes him feel awful and like a liar.

The only solution he can come up with is to call his long time friend, who is a little surprised by the request he makes, but not overly so.

Darcy knocks twice on the hardwood door before it's opened, he is waiting for a broken Jane which is why it makes him have a double take when there is a little girl answering the door instead, with big blue-gray eyes and familiar messy brown hair.

"Hi" she says, remembering him from the hospital a few weeks ago but not entirely sure if she should trust him.

"Hey, is your Aunty around?" he asks, crouching down so he is face-to-face with this little girl who looks too much like her mother.

"Aunty Jay is wisth Mommy" she explains slowly, little hands not letting go of the door handle she can almost not reach.

"Sweetie, what has Mommy told you about opening the door?" there is a catch to her voice that shows how dangerous the action could be. Darcy had almost hoped that she wouldn't be here, because it is still so painful to look at her.

"Tad I sudent"

"Then why did you open it?" Elizabeth is trying not to look at him, pretending that its anyone else on the other side of the door.

"Oh" the toddler says, like it has finally clicked.

"Go play in the living-room baby"

There is an awkward silence that hangs between them when the little girl turns back to her previous occupation, they are both avoiding looking at one another for very different reasons. Darcy is trying to contain the sudden urge to reach out for her, so he fills the space with his question about her sister's wellbeing.

"She's okay" its a difficult answer, one that isn't entirely true but also not a lie because she isn't sure how her sister handling things.

"Charles asked me to come talk to her, see if there are any questions I can answer about what happened"

"Come in then" Elizabeth opens the door to allow him entrance and as he can't help but let his arm touch hers as he crosses the threshold, invading her personal space with his solid body.

"Not now Darcy" she mumbles and leaves him standing in the foyer.

Jane is sitting on the breakfast table on the corner of the kitchen, a cup of tea between her hands that she isn't drinking and looking outside the window.

"Hello Jane" he says, breaking her out of her daydreams.

"Hey"

He sits himself down besides her, trying to figure out how to start this conversation.

"Did I do something... To cause it?" she asks, in a tiny voice because she is truly afraid somehow this really all comes down to something she did or failed to do.

"No, not at all" he says, making sure that his voice is soft but even so she believes him "about one to two percent of all pregnancies attach outside the uterine cavity. It's rare that they attach to to the cervix, but it does happen"

"So it was luck?" she scoffs, because it is hard to believe that out of all people she would be the one chosen.

"In a way it is" he moves his body so that is completely facing her "But you have no blame in any of it"

She has been hearing that sentence repeatedly for weeks, but it finally sinks in.

"Sometimes, I wish it was" she confesses "because then I would at least have something, or someone, to blame"


This took so long to update because after I posted the last chapter I realized that I still had a few other things to research for this story. The next few chapters should be coming with less space in between them.

I would like to thank every single person who read this story, especially the following: Loli-pop0394, MAB, Korrigan37, ccalais, YepItsMe, and ComeSomedaySoon. I am so sorry I couldn't answer each and everyone one of you individually.

I have hopefully fixed the first chapter, as much as I could anyway, so there should be a break in the middle now that clarifies things (FF took it out when I originally uploaded the chapter)

To Korrigan37 I want to give a very big THANK YOU, because you are every so lovely as to have read more than one of my stories!

Thank you also to everyone who favored this story or added it to their alerts!

GabbyAbby

PS: One more thing, if you have noticed I haven't named Elizabeth's daughter yet. This is simply for the reason that I can't agree on a name for her. So if you could be so kind as to let me know which of the following are your favorite it would make me very happy.

Elliette, Quinn, Phillipa, Blake or Jolie.