Surrogate

A/N: I always seem to forget to state this, but I do not own P&P.

Chapter 3 Of Sisterly Fights

Jane has been walking around like a shadow of herself, doing simple everyday things with such a slowness and un-attachment that breaks her sister's heart.

Charles has tried to help, he wants to talk about everything that happened and encourages her to call the therapist who's number is neatly written on the magnetic notepad on their fridge, but Jane brushes it all aside with a smile that never reaches her eyes. He wishes there was more he could do, but being at home is almost as painful as not being there, so he chooses the lesser of two evils and spends more and more time at work finishing unnecessary paperwork and charting.

They dance around each other with unasked questions and half-hearted questions that are too rehearsed and nothing like them.

Elizabeth shows up at her sisters house in the morning four times a week to help around and keep her company, because if she isn't there her mother will be and everyone knows that Fran Bennet isn't the person to turn to for help in such serious business (or about any kind of business really).

"Janey, I know how difficult things have been and that you are hurting, but you need to start trying to work through it" Elizabeth only says it because its been weeks, and her sister doesn't seem to be feeling better in any way.

"You have no idea what I'm feeling" her elder sister accuses, with a hardness on her voice that has never appeared there before. "I wanted them so much! It's unfair that they were taken away from me"

"I know sweetie, but-"

"You don't know. You never wanted kids, I wanted them so much and you get this beautiful little girl without even trying and you almost give her away while I try so hard..." Jane is crying, with both hands covering her mouth, because she did not mean for any of what she has just said to come out and the expression on her eyes says so.

To Elizabeth, she can truly say, it would have hurt less to have her dear sister to psychically hurt her.

She looks away and starts to pick up the few toys around the otherwise very tidy living-room, without a single word.

"Oh Liz, I'm so sorry"

"It's... I have to go"

"Please Lizzy, I didn't mean it. I'm just so angry and I took it out on you, I didn't mean it"

Elizabeth doesn't answer, just continues to put her daughters things back into the Hello Kitty backpack they brought, not meeting Jane's eyes and stepping around her.

"Lizzy" Jane pleads, reaching out to take her sisters hand in her own "I didn't mean it"

Elizabeth gives her sisters hand a soft squeeze, before dropping it to hold herself around her middle, letting silent tears make a gentle appearance down her cheeks.

"There is something about anger, that always lets a bit of truth slip out" she quietly shares with her sister.

"Liz... I love you, I'm so so sorry"

"Oh Jan, you know I love you. But right now, you need to deal with all these emotions that are inside of you and that you are refusing to let out. I'll still be here when you figure it out, but right now... Right now I need to go"

Jane looks down at the colorful rug as Elizabeth finishes picking up little knick-knacks her niece brought, along with their jackets and her bag. She doesn't hug her good-bye, but walks into the guest-room to wake up the toddler from her afternoon nap.

"Go say bye to Aunty Jay" she encourages even though she isn't leading by example.

"Bye Aunty Jay!" says the half awake, but rather cheerful little girl, throwing her tiny arms around her aunts neck "I wuv you".

Jane can't help the sudden jealousy she feels that she needs to let go of this wonderful little girl, and is instantly so ashamed of it.


"Hey" Jane whispers, sitting besides her sister, brushing a golden strand of hair behind her ear.

It's a perfect spring day, with a bright sun and gentle breeze. It makes Jane remember being a little girl and playing outside with her sisters, it also makes her realize everything she's been missing.

There is laughter all around them and it does hit her a little hard, but she closes her eyes and lets it wash over her.

"Hello stranger" Elizabeth turns to face her sister with a smile on her face, letting go of a breath she has been holding for almost a month.

"She's so big" Jane muses, finding her petite nice in the sea of kids scattered around the brightly painted jungle-gym set and sand-boxes.

"And yet still the smallest two-year-old here"

The silence between the sisters is not as heavy as either expected, but still filled with questions like they knew it would be.

"I shouldn't have said that" Jane admits, reaching for her little sisters hand "I was jealous, but that isn't a good enough reason to be such a jerk"

"You weren't a total jerk about it" Elizabeth answers, resting her head on her companions shoulder, a slight smile on both of their lips.

"We are going to a therapist, Charles and I. I won't say we are perfectly fine, but we are doing better and I start working again next week"

"That's great Jane" Elizabeth says, with a hug to her sister

"Because Jolie was going to drive me crazy if she didn't get to start ballet soon"

Their joined laughter is small and comforting.


Thanks so much to the following who were so kind to leave me a review (and a vote!) : YepItsMe, Modo-chan, , Anonymous, colirfirstisstillastiff, ariellangy, DL Fan, Gamax.

You guys are truth great.

Thank you also for everyone who read, favored or added this story to their alerts.

There is something I haven't made a 100% clear, just given hints of it so far. But to DL Fan who asked is Darcy is a doctor, yes he and Charles are (different fields which will be explained with in the next two chapters).

I also want to apologize for the crazy delay I had between this chapter and the last. I actually wrote four versions of it because I really wanted Jane and Elizabeth to have a fight, because Jane has got to be frustrated that she can't have kids and Lizzy does. I'm also sorry its kind of short.

I was also thinking that should have a 'like' button, but since they don't I'll shamelessly ask for reviews!

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