So, after reading through this story now, I came to realise how many SPaG mistakes there actually were. Basically, A LOT! Also how in some places it realkly didn't flow, so I've decided to re-do it in a way. This is the same story, but corrected! Even though we now know what happens, I've kept the story the same. I will not be continuing with this however, just correcting it. I will hopefully correct the second chapter tomorrow.
Dedicated to JojoTheObsessedFish!
I glared at the huge ship as it set down on the grass, it was truly massive, especially compared to who was on it! This was it though, the day I'd been waiting for, the day I saw my friends again. "Scared?" Frank asked, appearing on my left.
"Gods Frank, I was scared then! You should know by now not to sneak up on Demi-gods, especially me! "
"But are you scared?" asked Hazel appearing on my right.
"Nah," I replied "well kinda… maybe...ok yeah, I'm more terrified than I would be if I had to wash Hades, I mean Plutos underwear" I exclaimed, before adding hastily, "No offence Hazel".
"No offence taken, why would there be, I'd be scared too, and little confused!" replied Hazel.
"They're attacking, they're attacking!" someone called out in the distance.
"Three guesses on who that is." I said to Hazel and Frank.
"Octavian." they replied together. However, that was the least of my worries as the boat had just started opening.
"Greetings." Reyna called, "I am a Preator of the twelfth legion." I knew I was meant to call as well, but my voice had just been lost in Tartarurs. Then we saw a shadow and people started to exit the boat. Firstly was the boy we had seen in the video, Leo I think his name was. Then there was a boy and girl, arm in arm.
"Jason." whispered Hazel in my ear "That girl must be Greek though, I've never seen her before. Whoever she is, she better be careful, Reyna will absolutely hate her for taking Jace away from her. I feel sorry for all three of them!" I didn't recognise the girl either, and realised she must be one of the new campers. Then Thalia came out, and headed straight over to me. Even though I'm now technicly older than her, it felt like my older sister was coming to give me a hug, and I was so pleased to see her! The G man was next, although his horns were so big I hardly recognised him! It kinda felt like I was talking to a deer, however I don't fancy being trampled so I won't mention that to him! I was so glad to see him and he was so glad I was safe! Next, Mrs o'Leary came bounding down and I got an unexpected shower of drool, which was pleasant! She was followed by Nico. I could of killed him for pretending not to know me all that time he was here. I mean he could of at least help me remember who I was. Next, and I have no idea why, came my biggest enemy from camp Clarisse. I asked her why she was here but she just said "To fight punk." Rachel our oracle and my personal friend came out next. She came to hug me then had to go off to talk to Octavian. He had gone made over the idea of a mortal oracle. When Chiron finally came out I felt so glad I would have happily said sorry to Ares (maybe)! Finally came the girl I was waiting for. Annabeth. She flew into my arms and whispered in my ear "I missed you sea weed brain."
"I missed you to wise girl"
Then we kissed our first kiss in months, and I felt the happiest man alive. Now I think about it, it was embarrassing, especially because I'm the respectable leader if the twelve legion and everyone was watching! But I'd missed her so much it hurt. Jason and me then had the honour (like when I met Hades honour) to introduce everyone.
So, what do you think? Much better?!
Meerkat Mythologer
